The day previous to this I’d had a cracking massage and a great time with Nina in Westcliff, when she cancelled a follow up meet the morning of the following day, I made a mistake and sought out Plan B. Vivastreet had come good the day before, so I chanced my arm but I forgot that’s often an isolated experience.
External Link/Members OnlyI fancied a bit of nuru massage, not that I can remember why. I just thought it might be a good time. A few years ago I had one in a hotel as an outcall up north, that was good stuff. How wrong I was.
The location was Norfolk Street, there’s a pay-and-display car park nearby and I walked through a ginnel to get to what looked to be a high street. It was then I became very dubious. Inside what looked to be quite a professional salon downstairs, one older bloke with a bit of size to him sat at a reception desk. As I entered, a girl at the bottom of the stairs beckoned me over and I just went straight up. If downstairs was fairly professional-looking, upstairs was a dive. It was dark, dingy, several small rooms with massage tables in.
My ‘masseuse’ was late 30’s, in good shape, big tits, I’d say Chinese from memory. She batted away questions about whether I’d booked from a very large black woman who looked threatening enough before ushering me into a room. I paid £70 for an hour as I looked around for any sign of nuru gel. As she snatched the cash from my hand, she just said “Sex, yes?” and I said no, showed her the texts and said that’s what I booked.
While I’m trying to figure out how to get my money back and get out of there, she’s tugging my clothes off and you know what it’s like, as soon as she puts her hand down my trousers to get the old chap in her hand I can hardly think straight. She gets me on the table, saying that she'll give the massage I want, and starts off with some cheap oil. I’m not happy and turn over to end this, at which point she takes my cock in her mouth. She mumbles something about extras and laps away at my balls. I’m not feeling it at all, I got up and got dressed. I can’t remember walking out of a meeting with a working girl in ten years.
She starts getting hysterical and demanding extra payment for a blowjob, to which I refused, then she’s shouting and I didn’t want the scene. Paid £20 to shut her up so I could get the hell out there without the big black woman dangling me out the window or chucking me down the stairs. As I went downstairs, the bloke from reception was stood there asking what was going on, I just said it was the worst time I’d had in a parlour, blew by him and made for the door.
I sent a message to the number in the ad later saying it was my worst ever experience punting, stop falsely advertising and the girl I saw needs to learn how to deal with customers. In fairness, I got a reply first offering £20 back (interesting that was the amount, I hadn't mentioned it over text) and then when I refused, it became a ‘free massage with our best operator’ next time I was in the area. I have no intention of ever stepping foot in there again.
On the plus side, when I did get back to my car I witnessed a very attractive female traffic warden handing out a parking ticket to a 4x4 straddling two spaces. The owner returned, a woman with two teenage kids, and kicked off for my amusement, ending with the line “Car is in my bastard husband’s name so he can fucking pay it”. Almost worth it for that alone.
