Bit of a French farce this one, especially for my ’maiden speech’ as it were. Hoped my first one would be a good one too.
I have heard all the debate about EE girls, and ot be honest thought there was a bit of prejudice involved in some cases, so decided that a field trip was required to ascertain the facts.
So, I get a name out of AW – ‘Hot Olimpia’ of Best Noth (sic) West who works with ‘Gabi’, both Romanians. I text the number to ask if it’s ok to phone, response within seconds, ‘yes’. Good. Phone ‘Olimpia’ whose English is not great and has very strong accent and ask. ‘You do French Kissing?’ ‘Yes.’
‘You understand French kissing?’
‘Yes.’
‘And I come in your mouth?
‘Yes.’ (she seems to be saying yes mechanically almost before I have asked the question.)
‘You understand what that means?’
‘Yes!’ (she’s getting narked now, and making ME feel like the fuckwit, but
nota bene all of this.)
‘Ok. Half past seven?’
‘Yes.’ And she texts me the address.
I get there 5 minutes early, decent enough place in KP/Govan (yes, I know that an oxymoron!) she lets me in right away. Nice close, nice flat, no alarm signals (yet). Have a quick slash in the jakes, everything nice and clean there too.
She looks like the girl in the photo, can’t be sure but she cute enough anyway so whether or not she’s Olimpia I don’t really give a fuck. Clean, pleasant girl. English seems much better than on the phone.
Purely by way of openers, I say ‘Olimpia –’.
‘No’, she bursts in, ‘Olimpia friend. Is ok?’
‘Is ok for me, but other clients might not like it.’ She lets that go, possibly doesn’t understand.
‘You like?’ she‘s very nice and the wee man is rigid and aching to be rattling her tonsils.
‘Yes I like.’
She asks for the money, cue for ‘send in the clowns’!
‘Just checking you do let me come in your mouth?’
‘No.’
‘What? It says on your profile.’
‘Not do. Oral no condom yes, come in mouth, no.’
‘French Kissing?’
‘Kiss, but not this:’ she hilariously rolls her tongue around her mouth and briefly mimes choking to death. I don’t know whether to laugh or scream.
‘But it says on your profile–’
‘May be Olimpia, not me. All girls put these things on profile, not do.’ Well, possibly all Romanian ones do ...
‘But, but ...’ Fuck it. Wasting my time. Out the door but not before I tell her I am going to post a review to warn others. As I’m leaving she says, ‘Very difficult man.’ What?! I’ve done a six mile round trip to have the pish ripped out of me and I’m 'difficult'!
Disastrous (non)punt over. Pity really, such a wee honey too, but there it is. I assume she was Gabi.
Just for the record she says they don't do bareback, or anal either (not that I'd want either) and something else which I'd forgotten as the blood rushed out of my rapidly de-tumescing cock and back into my brain.
Went home and just ripped the heid aff it!
Schoolboy error - didn't have a plan B, beacuse I had discussed on the details on the phone and thought it was in the bag. Note to self: it's never in the bag until it's in the bag.
Not sure if this link will work. I'm as clueless with IT as I am at pulling hookers!
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