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External Link/Members OnlyI’m writing this review a week or so later and I’m still irritated by it. Before anybody asks about my absence from reviews, I have been occasionally punting but was locked out of my UKP account before discovering an old email with a new password while emptying a mailbox.
I’ve seen plenty of reviews over the years here on UKP of the singing masseuse and I’m fairly certain they’re all positive, so I feel a bit bad tarnishing her record but I do think a negative is warranted especially having read the reviews to establish what I expected. You be the judge if I’m too harsh.
Comms were a bit difficult in that I’d send a message, then not get a response, send another and get one back a day later. Looking back, I consistently sent two for every one she answered. Not a big gripe, although I never managed to get her on the phone. Perhaps she is in demand, I put it down to, especially as she has taken COVID-19 seriously with certificates and posters all around the property.
Same location as in previous reviews, up a small lane in Roughlee to a very big house. I didn’t see anybody else there but I’m fairly sure I heard music from somewhere else in the house. Paid £70 for an hour’s massage and B2B happy ending.
Lights dim, music starts and then she immediately stripped off before starting the massage fully naked. Not something I’ve experienced before, usually the clothes only come off when you turn over. Singing starts, which she says (and set off the first red flag in my mind) that she needs to sing to stay awake. She works over my legs extensively, hardly any time on my back… got to remind myself this is not a massage review site. At one point I thought she was asleep because her hands had been moving up and down my leg in the same manner for a good few minutes without any variation. The other thing was that she was constantly on her phone, which she’d placed between my ankles. Considering I struggled to get hold of her, other people certainly were. It wasn’t subtle either, it had a ring tone that would go off and vibrate for messages.
Get to the turnover point and I admire what is a fantastic body and amazing pair of tits, probably £70 worth right there. She begins stroking me and there was no semblance of B2B, so I had to ask. She briefly sat atop me to give me a tit wank, which was as good as any I’ve ever received, but blink-and-you’ll-miss-it and then it was back to stroking me. Hardly a moment later and
“my arm is tired”, which killed it for me. I gave her a helping hand, she then got back involved as I finished off and that was all she wrote. Shower was offered, I was there for a couple of minutes shy of the full hour.
If I had gone to see her without being a member of this site, I would have certainly said Neutral if not verging on Positive simply because of her spectacular body. With the expectations of having read reviews and the little things adding up to some genuine frustration, it’s a negative.
