Author Topic: Ugandan Discussions (Read 2405 times)

unclepokey · « **on:** January 10, 2020, 04:32:15 pm »

Those of us who are of riper years will perhaps remember, in the time of the ghastly Ugandan Amin, Private Eye somehow began to describe naughty sexual conduct as "Ugandan Discussions".

I was reminded of this when in conversation with a fellow punter friend of mine who said he would be soon be taking a pair of trousers for some alterations (by a lady we both know and who is an accomplished seamstress alongside her 'night job').

What a superb expression to use "Trouser Alterations" as a euphemism for you know what.

Uncle Pokey

Happylad · « **Reply #1 on:** January 10, 2020, 04:45:05 pm »

Quote from: unclepokey on January 10, 2020, 04:32:15 pm

What a superb expression to use "Trouser Alterations" as a euphemism for you know what.

Uncle Pokey

As in "The pocket has a hole that requires immediate expert attention"?

winkywanky · « **Reply #2 on:** January 10, 2020, 04:47:29 pm »

Perhaps it's just because I'm British, but are we not in this country, the masters of euphemism? I guess this is also in line with our penchant for understatement. Very confusing for foreigners, even Yanks.

There were apparently several occasions in WW2 where we told our American allies we were having a 'spot of bother' or 'the Germans just weren't playing cricket' in regard to specific incidents where there was about to be great loss of life or somesuch, and the Yanks took it at face value and totally underestimated the gravity of the situation. I think they (and we) got the hang of it by about 1945

.

Anyway, back to the trousers, did you find she frequently needed to let them out then Pokey?

Plan R · « **Reply #3 on:** January 10, 2020, 04:48:25 pm »

Quote from: unclepokey on January 10, 2020, 04:32:15 pm

Those of us who are of riper years will perhaps remember, in the time of the ghastly Ugandan Amin, Private Eye somehow began to describe naughty sexual conduct as "Ugandan Discussions".

No.2 in this list of Euphemisms External Link/Members Only

Alan Clarke used it in his diary also (I think) to allocate an afternoon here or there - when in reality,
he was off shagging

winkywanky · « **Reply #4 on:** January 10, 2020, 04:53:17 pm »

Thanks for that entertaining link

.

Alan Clark was a dirty old fucker, he took great pride in having fucked both a mother & daughter (although possibly not simultaneously).

MME · « **Reply #5 on:** January 10, 2020, 04:58:19 pm »

Quote from: winkywanky on January 10, 2020, 04:53:17 pm

Alan Clark was a dirty old fucker, he took great pride in having fucked both a mother & daughter (although possibly not simultaneously).

Not his own ones surely?

winkywanky · « **Reply #6 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:00:18 pm »

Nothing would surprise me, and apparently he was hung like a horse so once he managed to smarm his way into a sexual, situation he remained popular

.

winkywanky · « **Reply #7 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:01:16 pm »

His missus put up with it for years, she was a sweet little thing who put up with all sorts of shit.

I guess, a bit like the 'very fragrant' Mary Archer.

MME · « **Reply #8 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:01:58 pm »

Quote from: winkywanky on January 10, 2020, 05:00:18 pm

Nothing would surprise me, and apparently he was hung like a horse so once he managed to smarm his way into a sexual, situation he remained popular .

SIGH.... We're not talking about the Sarg again are we?

winkywanky · « **Reply #9 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:05:29 pm »

Who he?

unclepokey · « **Reply #10 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:11:27 pm »

Quote from: winkywanky on January 10, 2020, 04:47:29 pm

Anyway, back to the trousers, did you find she frequently needed to let them out then Pokey?

My friend is the guy who employed the lady concerned to adjust maters and I don't know exactly what those adjustments were. What made me giggle though was his use of the term to describe what was clearly going to be a dropping of the trousers and not the use of a sewing machine.
Uncle Pokey

winkywanky · « **Reply #11 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:16:25 pm »

It's all good, just so long as she didn't stitch him up

.

Happylad · « **Reply #12 on:** January 10, 2020, 05:21:11 pm »

Of course, if the trouser legs had `turn-ups` he could have regarded that as a standing invitation to visit.

Bogof60 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 10, 2020, 09:42:20 pm »

More recently

Going for a Pizza by HRH Randy Andy

winkywanky · « **Reply #14 on:** January 10, 2020, 09:54:43 pm »

Yes, I reckon that one'll go down in legend!

mike63 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 11, 2020, 06:58:31 am »

'Horizontal jogging' is one that has always appealed to me.

B4bcock · « **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2020, 08:29:45 am »

Quote from: winkywanky on January 10, 2020, 04:53:17 pm

Alan Clark was a dirty old fucker, he took great pride in having fucked both a mother & daughter (although possibly not simultaneously).

He managed the incredible feat of having a long-running affair with the wife of a S African high court judge and also shagging both their two daughters during that period. I can't find the actual quote, but one of his mottos in life was to never refuse the offer of a drink or a shag.

winkywanky · « **Reply #17 on:** January 11, 2020, 01:27:20 pm »

So he fucked ALL the women in that Judge's life...I wonder if he found out before he died, the ultimate cuckold, he did your missus and both your daughters too

.

snaitram99 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 11, 2020, 04:03:06 pm »

Quote from: winkywanky on January 11, 2020, 01:27:20 pm

So he fucked ALL the women in that Judge's life...I wonder if he found out before he died, the ultimate cuckold, he did your missus and both your daughters too .

Clarke called them "the coven" in his diaries and made little attempt to hide their identity. Those who knew him and read the diaries could easily identify them. The judge did find out and said at the time he'd like to see him horsewhipped.

winkywanky · « **Reply #19 on:** January 11, 2020, 04:06:12 pm »

Jeezus!

Sounds like he needed to horsewhip the women in his life, or perhaps horsewhip himself, if that's the way they treated him perhaps there was a good reason!

ulstersubbie · « **Reply #20 on:** January 11, 2020, 08:35:05 pm »

Clarke appears to be a truly loathsome individual, being a former Tory MP this is hardly surprising I suppose. I do wonder if he ever dabbled in the BDSM scene, those public schoolboys do like a good beating, not that I have any experience in such matters of course!

S.X. MacHine · « **Reply #21 on:** January 11, 2020, 10:13:12 pm »

Quote from: ulstersubbie on January 11, 2020, 08:35:05 pm

Clarke appears to be a truly loathsome individual, being a former Tory MP this is hardly surprising I suppose. I do wonder if he ever dabbled in the BDSM scene, those public schoolboys do like a good beating, not that I have any experience in such matters of course!

Erm...’loathsome’ why? Because his sexual proclivities differed from yours? Just remember the definition of a pervert; ‘someone kinkier than yourself’.
If, as I have, you read his diaries, you might develop a sense of admiration for the man. In his uniquely libidinous way, he found erotic possibilities in unlikely places. Margaret Thatcher’s ankles, for example.

ulstersubbie · « **Reply #22 on:** January 11, 2020, 10:51:25 pm »

Thatcher's ankles FFS! I rest my case!!

catweazle · « **Reply #23 on:** January 12, 2020, 11:11:47 am »

I've been watching "The trial of Christine Keller" on TV, and her friend, Mandy Rice-Davies made the famous comment "well, he would, wouldn't he?" when John Profumo denied knowing her. Apparently on some internet forums, "MRDA" ('Mandy Rice-Davies Attributed') is used as a comment.

winkywanky · « **Reply #24 on:** January 12, 2020, 10:09:27 pm »

Quote from: ulstersubbie on January 11, 2020, 10:51:25 pm

Thatcher's ankles FFS! I rest my case!!

She actually did have rather nice ankles, it was just the other 95% of her which was shit.

Author Topic: Ugandan Discussions (Read 2405 times)

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