External Link/Members OnlyI went for 1 hour at £50 massage.
This is on Vivastreet so wasn’t going with high expectations. It’s on Kirkcaldy High Street near the car wash. If you’re going at night then take a torch as very dark and Windey staircase.
Ad states:
1) “my massage service is the best” - no it’s not it’s horrendous as very minimal amounts of oil which is then vigorously (ad does state this) rubbed into that may feel like chaffing.
2) “26 years old” - again not on your nelly - she’s a very tall (about 5ft 8) skinny (holocaust survivor look) Taiwan Chinese at least 50 years old with a surgery scar on her front right shoulder with small breasts and nice big nipples, long black hair that was very dry and bad split ends that I kept on wanting to cut. She has big feet and big hands.
3) “relaxing” - again a no
4) “authentic Chinese medicine massage” - not what the Western Doctor ordered.
Other highlights:
1) asked for a shower but no shower head so very difficult to use as only the hose part plus the towel was pretty old looking
2) she had on a tartan baby doll thing and was very excited as if she’d been too much fizzy pop as on arrival got hug with a high squeal then bounced into the bedroom
3) the flat is actually very nice and clean. I’m unsure if she’s there in her own.
4) I said I was here for 1 hour massage and gave her £50. She looked bemused and said “30 minutes £60”. I said I was here for massage to which she said her “English No Good”. Again I slowly said “Massage” to which the reply was “ah massagee” and pointed to the bed.
5) lay down on my front and she put the cold oil with her cold hands and started to rub which wasn’t very nice. After 5 minutes of this she leaned over and gave me a snog with full tongue. I asked if she could take her clothes off to which she replied “£10 no touchee £20 touchee”. I agreed £20 then she stopped until she got the cash.
6) her English no good but she understands the £ Sterling.
7) massage went on for about 15 minutes (she had a clock on her bedside cabinet) and I was getting bored so asked if I can kiss her.
She then said “kissee kissee condom” fuckee fuckee condom” - I’m putting the full service account on another review as think that’s where it should go (unless admin thinks different)
So the massage was rubbish and I wouldn’t recommend anyone to go there for a massage.
