Usual disclaimer: this is a review of a pre-op TS escort. Hit reverse gear is this is not for youExternal Link/Members OnlyExternal Link/Members OnlyInspired by a very positive review last week by the incredibly active TS fan jon22992, I went to see Violet (who seems to have purloined her name from a UK porn star) for a lunchtime incall at an apartment a five-minute walk from South Quay DLR station. She looked good in her profile pics on Birchplace and Jon (whom if I deduce to be 26½ years old from his possibly insecure username) was effusive in his praise. Sadly, my own experience was not so wonderful.
Violet was visiting from her usual base in Wirral, Merseyside, and had extended her stay by a day because she was getting a lot of bookings. When I saw her she was due to leave the next lunchtime, but her profile claims she's still in London as I write these words five days later.
The venue was a large-ish flat in big multi-storey block. Not a bad place by any means, but basic and functional. Far from the "big nice fancy posh apartment complex" Jon described. He needs to go more upmarket if that's his idea of posh.
Comms with Violet by phone and text were straightforward and she called me when I was en route to say she needed to go to the bank and might be a few minutes late getting back, which many escorts wouldn't have bothered to do. No problem for me, so I diverted into a shop — and then didn't hear the follow-up text telling me she wasn't going after all, so I was 10 minutes late for no reason.
The first thing that hit me as soon as Violet let me in is that she now has a giant tattoo wrapping around her neck and down towards her cleavage. You can't see it on the profile pics that show her arm and legs tattoos and it's definitely not there on the pics that do show more of her face. I should have been warned by this comment from Jon: ”She is completely inked up. I love tattoes [sic] and she has plenty of them. I felt like I hit the jackpot here." But I'd presumed he was talking about the big ones on her limbs.
Unlike him, I fucking HATE tattoos. This is obviously my old git-ness coming out, but to me enormous, permanent and publicly visible inking is a major form of self-harm and a clear symptom of a personality disorder. I can put them out of my mind on people's limbs and backs but seeing them on the neck (or even worse, the face) makes my flesh crawl. I should have walked, obviously, but her very slender figure with well-done fake boobs is just about my ideal shape for an escort. That and her friendly attitude convinced me to stay.
In then noticed that there's something weird about her mouth. It's not the usual problem of over-botoxed lips because they weren't as plump as they appear in some of her pics. More that her mouth looks extremely and strangely wide. Not sure if she had extended the line with lipstick or it really is like that. Should have looked more carefully. I would have preferred her with the platinum blonde hair you can see on some of her profile images, but she's brunette now, so too bad.
Right, that's enough physical nitpicking. She still looked pretty good, apart from that horrific tattoo, obviously.
We started with full-on French kissing while standing up, then moved on to the bed for more of the same with mutual fondling. I dived down to suck her cock, accurately described by Jon as between 5 and 6ins and very erect when you show it some love. But apart from the kissing she was really quite passive and I had to make all the running, which came as a surprise.
We moved on to sideways 69 (she didn't want to go on top, which I prefer). I enjoyed what she was doing down there but it wasn't very deep and I'm only slightly longer than she is. Then I propped myself up on the pillows to be face-fucked and was happy to take her whole length with nearly every stroke. I do have a strong gag reflex, but I've learned to enjoy the lubricating drool that appears like magic when you let yourself gag on a cock. I produced so much of it that when we broke off I let it all slobber out of my mouth.
To my astonishment, Violet found this revolting and she honestly thought it was some kind of vomit. She even refused to kiss me again despite me cleaning it all off with multiple wet wipes. I couldn't believe that a pro escort who sucks guy's cocks and puts her own in their mouths had never seen that happen before. "You must have seen it in porn," I said. "Never watch it – don't need to it this job," she replied. Not a Max Hardcore fan then.
She also claimed that she herself has no gag reflex. Well, maybe, but if that's the case I didn't get any benefit from it.
Next came the biggest disappointment. I said I wanted us to fuck both ways, and it would be better if I topped her first because my hard-on doesn't always recover from being topped.
"Oh, I don't do that, darling. I'm bottom only."
"But you're hard enough right now."
"I'm a girl... I don't do that."
To be fair, her profile doesn't say what her role is one way or the other, but the way Jon had worded his review led me to the incorrect assumption that topping was available if he had wanted it, which he didn't.
I'd paid £150 for an hour based on the false assumption that she was versatile and on learning that she was not I started wishing I'd stuck to 30 minutes. Should have checked in advance, obviously. What a stupid old git I am.
So she started to put a condom on me but then decided she absolutely needed to check what the last text was on her phone ("really sorry, but it might be from the landlord here") and she gave me the rubber to put on myself. That may well be a first in 35 years of punting. Not impressed.
Then she rode me cowgirl and I got inside her with only a small amount of faff. She appeared to enjoy it, too, but for me it was just OK. I learned quite early on that anal sex doesn't do it for me physically (unless I'm the one being shafted) and I never do it with female escorts if they offer. A pussy feels so much nicer.
No way I was going to cum like that and after maybe five minutes my cock had lost its mojo and I flopped out of her. I got her to give me more OWO and told her she could finish me off with her hand when I got near the boil (because CIM was not available). I didn't ask if I could cum on her tits because that would have focused my attention on the terrible tattoo.
Well, the OWO wasn't working either (a girl needs extreme skill to bring me off with her mouth and it rarely happens) so I asked to be face-fucked again while I wanked myself to completion, and that's what we did. I enjoyed quite a powerful orgasm actually, but for me the bite of pleasure is usually more intense when I do it myself. Dunno why I bother with other humans, to be honest.
We were now about 35 minutes from the time I'd walked in and it was obvious that Violet thought the sexual activity was over. She asked me if I wanted a shower, but I said I'd just sit and relax for a while and drink the water she'd provided. Not sure what the reaction would have been if I'd asked her to suck me or get on the bed to be fucked again because TBH I'd entirely lost the mood and wanted to get out of there once I'd had five minutes of rest. So I accepted the offer of a shower (toiletries and clean towel provided), I took my time and finally left after about 50 minutes.
She asked if I'd enjoyed myself and I couldn't bring myself to reel off the list of problems I've written about above, so I just said yes, but it was a big disappointment that she was only bottom.
I've wavered between calling this as a negative or a neutral because a lot of the bad points were down to my own false expectations. It's not her fault that I don't like tattoos and she never claimed to be versatile. The drool/vomit confusion I'm putting down to lack of experience (not sure if she's really only 19 but she's certainly not much more).
The phone/condom thing was a major bad point as was the assumption that one pop was enough for me (even though it was). But she did what she does well enough, we chatted very easily together and ultimately I don't think she deserves a negative.
