I finally graduated as a fully-fledged punter a couple of weeks ago … as I finally had the balls (albeit achingly full!) to walk!
Having wrapped up some business early in Golders Green, I found myself with time and need for a P&D. A local AW search had
Erotic_Laura pop up … I fell for the photos and spiel … but scanning UKP revealed a regularly reported risk of B&S. In spite of this, I’m ashamed to admit that my full balls made me risk it …
Link:External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyLogistics:I phoned … no answer … but Laura called back … a friendly voice … she was free … postcode texted … I was 15mins away … booked. No duration or fee was discussed … my plan was for 15min P&D for £50, but to extend if advertized Massage/OWO/Swallow/Rimming were actually on offer.
Location:I was led to a top floor flat in a small block at the end of a residential side road, where I was able to freely park. The pad is otherwise a 20min walk north of Golders Green tube station. The area is safe and discreet.
Looks:Apart from being blonde, Laura is unequivocally
not the lovely-looking WG in these currently profiled photos of God-knows-who …
Hidden Image/Members Only Hidden Image/Members Only Hidden Image/Members Only Hidden Image/Members OnlyServices:I texted my arrival on time … Laura asked for a “few minutes” to get ready… I actually stupidly waited 15mins before texting again … Laura promised, “Almost ready x” … another 10mins passed by, when I received a bloody cheeky “Still here, bb?” … WTF!?! This was clearly not promising, but it’s amazing how loaded balls can hold a punter to ransom! Anyway, I admitted my desperation … and a flat number finally followed.
On entering the flat, and finding so-called ‘Laura’ behind the door … my balls almost immediately deflated. Instead of the lithesome lovely I had dutifully waited to see, I was greeted by a haggard 40-something bint … 5’2” and Size 10 at least … unattractively overflowing out of a one-size-too-small black bustier. I shamefully trudged behind this saggy slapper, thinking to cut my losses by only requesting OWO/CIM/Swallow over a blow-and-go 15mins … I was not at all interested in fucking this one. But her English was as bad as my Polish, and I soon couldn’t be bothered trying to explain what I wanted … and suddenly realized that I wanted nothing … that I wanted to save my £50 and walk! Woohoo!
Instead of explaining that I thought ‘Laura’ was fugly, I made some excuse about having waited nigh on 30mins and now had no more time to spend. Whether this old bird understood or not, she could see I wanted to leave … and so led me back into the hallway. But there, she held my arm … and bellowed back toward the kitchenette. A female voice yelled back … and some Polish to-and-fro ensued … eventually another blonde appeared from the kitchenette, dressed in black bra and panties. This version of
Erotic_Laura, whom I’ll call ‘Laura II’, was younger, 5’4” and Size 8 … more akin to the body in photos … but her face was utterly forgettable. By now, I was confidently walking … and so politely declined the apparent offer of ‘Laura II’, again pretending I had no more time.
As I headed to the front door, both blonde WGs on either side … ‘Laura’ tried to seduce me by popping out her tits from her bustier, while ‘Laura II’ laughed at her partner’s efforts to jiggle them before me. They both bantered with eachother in Polish, as I was let out … and then I heard them laughing behind the closed door … at that end, instead of feeling a butt, I felt like a butt (of a joke).
Conclusion:This is of course a brazen B&S outfit … no doubt various Polish blondes all claiming to be
Erotic_Laura. I somehow had missed Parking’s astute warning …
This crew is B&S as mentioned before, the girls share the same profile, you'll get whoever is available at the time and they are SHIT.
… although I suspect my busting balls may still have led me here. As
Negative as this was, I’m glad for it, as I am proud to have finally learned to walk away when faced with such “SHIT”!
