Sweet 21 Jane; Kingston

[Dead Wood]

I’ve manged to steer clear of the Romanian 'cum dodgers' in recent years. I’ve discovered that – rather wonderfully – there are some gorgeous young women out there who will let me do what I want to them, look as if they are enjoying it, and even teach me a few things along the way.

But earlier today I was super horny, and none of my favourites were available.  I did rather enjoy the rather mad 'review' of this girl a few days back, and her place is on my route, so I thought I would take a punt and at least get to clear the pipes.

Coms were quick and good. The flat is in a modern block, fit for purpose, near Kingston Asda. It has a crappy shower, and they are clearly firing the punters through at a rate of knots.  Lots going on when I was there. There is at least one other girl there.

As for the punt, let's be clear - Jane is a terrible, hopeless prostitute. I mean – ridiculously bad. I’ve shagged hundreds in the last ten years, but her elaborate restrictive practises were the worst I have ever come across.  She started by telling me what she wouldn’t do, and carried on telling me throughout the punt.  Literally EVERY word she uttered was a restrictive practise. No kissing, no fingering, oral only with me on my back, sex only in cowgirl and only with partial penetration allowed as my cock was so big – it’s not – and all sorts of weird hygiene restrictions. I wasn’t allowed to touch my covered cock, for example, to restore my understandably flagging erection, as this was ‘not clean’.  And then when I was on the vinegar strokes, it turned out I was not allowed to come inside her - in the condom - I actually had to withdraw and wank myself off.  I think she might have done this for me, but I speculated that I would be much better at wanking than she is.

But I’ve given her a neutral, simply because I actually quite enjoyed myself.  Odd.  She does have sensational teenage breasts, and is more than passably pretty, and while she is telling you what not to do, she exhibits a confident air, which I found rather sexy.  And she gives a reasonably energetic covered blow job.  I shagged a dreadful girl at HOD a few months ago, which left me feeling really flat, but I bounced out of Janes place. And to be fair, she was super clear what was NOT on offer from the very start. When I think I could have smashed the life out of lovely Sandra Curly in Town for a little more money, I do wonder at the objectivity of this, but as I say, on balance I enjoyed it. There’s nowt so queer as folk.

In and out in 25 minutes.  I paid £60 for 30 minutes.

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[holland]

Thank you Dead Wood for your balanced review.

Another Romanian coming off my hotlist.

[mrhappypants]

Thanks Dead Wood,

Sexual chemistry is weird and sometimes the tension can play to advantage rather than being negative.  Your review reads like a warning so thank you for the discipline and not rating it a positive.

 

[Dead Wood]

Sexual chemistry is weird and sometimes the tension can play to advantage rather than being negative.

Indeed it is weird.  Another thing to take from this strange-but-wonderful hobby of ours....

 

[dubhcarr]

thanks for the review OP.......another conning skank to avoid........not sure why youre so kind to her? your review but no way would she get charity from me if she had conned me out of my hard earned.....shocking.......

[Dead Wood]

Yes - why indeed? 

I do say in my review that she is a completely terrible prostitute.

But the fact is that for some weird reason, I left her flat with a spring in my step, so I felt I had to give her a neutral. I can't really explain why I enjoyed the session. She does have marvellous tits - I love those perky little ones you only see on slim girls close to 20 years old. Maybe this is why?  And the restrictions were so bad, it was almost funny,  which tickled me.  Who knows what was going on in my head.  I certainly won't be going back...!

[bhudda]

Yes - why indeed? 

I do say in my review that she is a completely terrible prostitute.

But the fact is that for some weird reason, I left her flat with a spring in my step, so I felt I had to give her a neutral. I can't really explain why I enjoyed the session. She does have marvellous tits - I love those perky little ones you only see on slim girls close to 20 years old. Maybe this is why?  And the restrictions were so bad, it was almost funny,  which tickled me.  Who knows what was going on in my head.  I certainly won't be going back...!

I can completely understand this. I've left a couple of neutral reviews over the past few months where, reading them again, you'd probably say they should have been negative, but if you leave feeling better than you arrived, and you actually quite enjoyed it cos even though she was providing a crap service she did it in a "nice" way, and perhaps your expectations weren't that high to begin with, and maybe you're just in a good mood ...

so long as you provide enough detail for others to make up their own minds all is good I reckon, which you have 

[Cumberland]

It’s a clear warning not to see her, so thank you. Very balanced review.
My theory as to your spring is because you didn’t find it boring, almost funny as you said, so I understand this is indeed better than a standard forgettable punt.
For £60 you had all the anticipation and build up and then you got inside a slim young 20 something - that should never make us unhappy as life is too short. On to the next !!

[hardrock89]

Girl look super hot but restrictions no no no out of my hot list looking to see a girl for my second review. Hope i will find soon

[musotim]

Saw her recently on a last minute whim... wish I seen this review first! Pretty much exact same experience. Worst escort ever!

[marcello]

As for the punt, let's be clear - Jane is a terrible, hopeless prostitute. I mean – ridiculously bad. I’ve shagged hundreds in the last ten years, but her elaborate restrictive practises were the worst I have ever come across.  She started by telling me what she wouldn’t do, and carried on telling me throughout the punt.  Literally EVERY word she uttered was a restrictive practise. No kissing, no fingering, oral only with me on my back, sex only in cowgirl and only with partial penetration allowed as my cock was so big – it’s not – and all sorts of weird hygiene restrictions. I wasn’t allowed to touch my covered cock, for example, to restore my understandably flagging erection, as this was ‘not clean’.  And then when I was on the vinegar strokes, it turned out I was not allowed to come inside her - in the condom - I actually had to withdraw and wank myself off.  I think she might have done this for me, but I speculated that I would be much better at wanking than she is.

But I’ve given her a neutral, simply because I actually quite enjoyed myself. 

Your review of course, but damn this reads like some of the worst negatives on UKP.
Thanks for the very informative review, though.

[LLPunting]

Saw her recently on a last minute whim... wish I seen this review first! Pretty much exact same experience. Worst escort ever!

So write a review, add to the consensus!