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: 1 hour.
So. Usual story, it seems, let down by one booking I went for another. I’ve seen her profile before, she reminded me of a girl I knew one, and I checked on here for a review. There is one, it’s positive, from over three years ago.
Comms: Great. Can’t fault it. Arranged a meet easily, directions were good, sms and voice to guide the final few steps to the door.
Location: Holiday apartment block, Roomzzz, easy parking and really well appointed. Rooms are studios, £70 a night, double bed shower and kitchen in a stylish setup. Outside there was a nice looking garden kitchen with a Nando style chain with plenty of good looking people seeming like they were having a great time. Walking in was a beautiful women in her 40’s who exchanged smiles with me, and a young fittie in gym gear at the lift. Maybe this was a nexus for the beautiful working girl? Maybe I had struck gold, and found the perfect place to relax with some female company and a beer?
Why the hotel review, you’re thinking, why not on with the punt? Well, the hotel is the only good thing you’re going to learn here. The rest a tale of woe.
I found the flat and knocked on the door.
Appearance: The door opened, and Matt Lucas welcomed me in. Dressed in his ‘only gay in the village’ outfit he was very friendly and relaxed. Facially, yes, absolutely the same as the photos. No question. However since the last review, and today, Matt has hit McDonalds hard. Transfat has turned that slim girl you see in the photos into something that is primarily made up of fast food greese stuffed in a body stocking. Facially still the same girl, and was both well made up and seems very clean.
So, she offered a massage and I decided to take her up on it. Some knots in my back, and the ‘fuck it I’ve had worse’ had me decide to go on.
Massage was quite good, little short, but well done.
Followed by a blowjob, without, unasked for but pretty good. She spread a tube of some strawberry something on my dick before sucking (I can only assume a tube of emergency jam, oh god she needs to diet, she’s a Big Mac away from type 2 diabeties).
I finished, and decided not to test any of her other services. I’m sure what’s on offer is on offer. I am equally sure I, now I popped, did not want to find out if I could summon up a second while thinking of England.
We chatted and I wandered back out. Again, impressed by the hotel, I made a mental note to recommend it to visitors. Another hottie in gym shorts at the lift reminded me of the prizes I could have had elsewhere.
My luck seems to hit me every 3rd punt. I go left field a lot, and sometimes find a gem in the rough, that rare girl who’s new and in entirely the wrong job.
This was not a lucky punt. This was a very expensive hotel tour.
Summary: Girl got fat. Girl hid fat on profile. Matt Lucas is funny, not fuckable.
