After Phaedrus’s TOFTT and roll call …
Roll-up! Roll-up! Only £60 for half an hour with London’s best midget! 
… I rolled up to sexperience a midget last month …
Link:External Link/Members Only and
External Link/Members OnlyLogistics:On route home from business in Watford, zipping down the A41, I called … Picolina (or more likely her maid) answered … we booked 30mins for £60 with half-hour’s notice, although I did hesitate on a 15mins P&D for £40, as I recalled clear negatives (inc. lying profile, bad attitude and worse service) in Phaedrus’s Neutral review.
Location:Picolina works out of an apartment, no doubt with other WGs, in the same fancy new-build residential park as the legendary butterface that is
Amy Amazon, which less than a 10min stroll from Colindale tube station.
Parking remains an issue, as it’s pay-and-display at all times. At the time I attended, it was 50p for 20mins. I toyed with the idea that I ought to put in more than a £1 coin, in the vain hope that I might overrun with Picolina … but then remembered she was Romanian!
Looks:Picolina is a tiny tart. She is the WG in the photos below …
Hidden Image/Members Only Hidden Image/Members OnlyHidden Image/Members Only Hidden Image/Members Only… and defo better-looking than her daggy verification photo. She‘s a pocket rocket, just skimming above 4” … with a compact but juicy body … perky little tits … a flat stomach with an ugly appendicetomy scar … and a busting butt with cute little love handles above.
Picolina is a Lilliputian Romanian. And being recently arrived, her English is poor and communication worse. Her profile states she’s 20, but I'd add a few more years to that.
Services:Picolina is a pygmy prostitute. She smiled as she let me in through the door … and that was more or less the only welcome I received! As I followed her bitsy body, clad in tank top and yoga pants, through the hallway, she was texting on her mobile. She then closed the bedroom door behind us, and simply carried on texting, smiling at her phone, but no longer at me. As I continued to be ignored, I tried to break the silence with basic banter … which clearly flew over her head. But it at least caught her attention to enquire, “How long?” … as her dumbass maid clearly hadn’t told her. I foolishly still went for 30mins … and she put her hand out with a matter-of-fact “Sixty pound” … no 'please'. And no 'thank you' when I handed over payment … just back to texting, as she stepped out of the bedroom to stash the cash.
Picolina is shrimpy shrew. On return to the bedroom, she looked up from her mobile to see me still dressed … she sighed, and dismissively signaled for me to get naked. She then did the same, finally putting down that fucking phone on the bedside table. Pointing me toward the bed, Picolina directed me to lie back. She immediately rippped open a rubber, and started trying to slip it over my semi-erection (I was surprised and a tad annoyed that I had even managed a semi in such a sexless situation, making her job unnecesarily easier!).
Picolina is a bitty bitch. She grinned … probably pleased at how easy pickings I was … and then started basic and tedious OW with little variation and even less skill. After a minute or two, she sat up to complain that the condom felt like “wool”, and so she couldn’t continue … and wanted to move on to sex. What?!? I finally grew bigger balls, and said no … I asked to kiss … she said no … I then gestured to get her mouth back on my cock. Picolina started at me briefly … probably wondering how far she could push her luck with me … but didn’t push further, and got back to OW. As her blowjob remained crap anyway, I tried to excite myself by squeezing her ass and thighs, but she moved my hand away with a grimace, claiming she didn’t like being massaged. Another couple of minutes, and Picolina again jumped up with “Quick! Sex now!” … and there was no point arguing, and moreover I thought I'd better get on a fuck this floozy before I lose my hardon in such a shitty set-up.
Picolina is a dwarfish slut. She lay down in mish … lubed up my cock with
Baby Oil and her pussy with the same. Guiding my cock in to her, she warned “Softly!” … I thus started gently and slowly pumping. Irritatingly, she felt good … I guess because of her smallness and tightness … certainly not because of her attitude and demeanor, as she essentially looked bored and distracted. I sucked at her tits, thinking I'd be pushed off … but surprisingly Picolina let me continue. This got me pumping faster and harder, at least generating some life out of her, as she now variously gasped and moaned. At this point, I knew I could cum if I carried on, but didn't want to advantage her with a quick finish. I thus asked for doggy. She declined, demanding I cum in mish. I made out that I’d cum faster in doggy … she again eyed me up, but obliged. Whipping her around into head-down and ass-up, I held on to her love handles, as if on a motorbike … and thrust up into her ass … drilling her down hard and fast, and almost into prone bone, before she could object. But actually, she was still in control, as I felt her hand massaging my balls … no doubt trying to accelerate me to climax. And goddammit … it worked!
Picolina is a peewee hussy. I grudgingly came … and I couldn’t hide it … she sensed it. There was naturally no chance to enjoy softening inside her, as Picolina instantly popped off me, and grabbed a bag of wet-wipes. As she wiped her pussy up, she threw me some wipes to clean myself up. She then robed up, and was back on her phone, checking messages. She was annoyed that I asked for more wipes … instead pointing at my clothes, hurrying me to dress up. I explained it was either more wipes or I’d want a shower … I got more wipes. I dressed up slowly, purposefully wanting to annoy Picolina some more. When she saw me finally get my last shoe on, she jumped up from her phone, grabbed me up by the hand and literally dragged me out to the front door. I could only but laugh at the ridiculousness of it … and Picolina weirdly laughed back at me, as she finally closed the door in my face. I stopped laughing when I saw I was already out by 17mins.
Conclusion:Phaedrus did warn that …
I should be giving this a negative but have raised her up to a neutral for the novelty factor …
… but there is no novelty in being readily fucked over by a runt-of-a-cunt. And so, Picolina is a downright non-fucking
Negative.
