External Link/Members Only£90 for 30 minutes
Organising the booking
Text in the early afternoon about an afterwork booking. Confirmed a time. I said I may be out of work late and if I was going to be late would let her know. Later that afternoon I confirmed I would 100% be out on time and will be there for the time booked. She said ok.
Then an hour before the booking she said she was on the train and can we make it 15 minutes later. I said no. I had plans and had to stick to my time. She said she may be 5 minutes late and that her train would take EXACTLY 1 hour to get there (this was exactly an hour before the booking remember). I said 5 minutes was no problem but I did smell something fishy, like maybe she had made another booking for an hour EXACTLY one hour before my booking. Maybe I was being paranoid.
Anyway I text when I was 5 minutes away and she said she'll be 5 minutes late as previously stated. She said she just got there and wanted to be immaculately clean and presentable for me. I get to the place and I realised I'd been there before a few years ago. Flat near Paddington station, about 5 minute walk away. Then I see someone leave the flat, 10 seconds later I get a text saying she's ready. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
The girl
So I walk in and the first thing I notice is how much older she looks than her pictures. I'd put her around 45, maybe older. Tits are fucking soft and saggy, lots of loose and saggy skin around her belly and she has ZERO arse. The pictures are either very old or she has some fucking amazing photoshop skills. I'd say they are old and she needs to update them.
The punt
She starts giving me sound BS about her train and that it's a shame I couldn't come 15 minutes later. I wasn't in the mood to argue so I decided to let that slide and not mention the punter I'd just seen leave. I did ask her if another WG was working there though and she said no. So she was 100% back to back booking clients.
I give her money, go to wash my cock and balls and we get under way.
Started with some DFK and I have to say she had the WORST smokers breath I have every experienced. It was incredibly stale, you could tell she hadn't brushed her teeth or made any effort to sort her breath out all day. I'm not exaggerating either, it was truly bad. So the FK lasted about 5 seconds and I decided to lay on the bed and just let her suck my dick so I could get the punt over with. Her BJ skills were poor. She struggled to keep my hard which was shit. So I decided to get myself hard and and fuck her instead. Condom on and went with CG. Her soft and saggy tits were not very enjoyable to watch and her shitty stale breath was lingering over me so i pounded away and came as quick as I could, seemed to last a lifetime. Why can't a last this long when I'm fucking girls I enjoy!
Anyway popped in and the jonny and went to wash my entire body in bleach.
Post punt
Had a quick chat. Says she does show girl dancing in Ireland. I'll fucking believe that when I see it. Also said she does dances for stag parties over there.
Maybe she's one of those lap dancers that best men buy their stags as practical jokes. Like fat roll poly hairy birds that piss all over themselves or midgets that get handcuffed to the stag etc. If someone bought me her for a lap dance I would disown my friend for life.
Anyway. As you can tell, I'm pretty fucked off by this one.
Some of this may seem exaggerated but this truly was a bad punt. I wish I stuck that £90 on a three legged horse instead.
AVOID!!!
