Bobo @ China Health - Epsom

[Fuzzyduck]

External Link/Members Only

OK, so my planned punt fell through (neg review posted) and I was determined to salvage something from the situation, but had no plan B. AW was showing a wasteland of opportunity so I checked gumtree to see there was anything remotely nearby. Saw an ad to a chinese shop I recollect seeing mentioned on UKP. No time validate or check. I just marched up there to see what cards lady luck would deal me, with the view that I would just go with the flow.

Comms
N/a

Location
Easy to find on a parade of shops. Pretty obvious to all around what the story is here. The place itself is a bit of a dive. Dark inside, the toilet seat was broken and lying on the floor. Room was dingy, bit it damp, soulless, though had a decent shower in the corner (explains the damp).

The girl
Mid-late 30s Taiwanese lady. Friendly, nice smile (good teeth), maybe 5'4ish, size 10, size b breasts. Little bit of a belly but reasonably tidy I thought. Poor English, to the point that it wasn't really worth trying to converse. She said she's only been there a few weeks.

The service
I said I wanted an hour, paid £40 and had a quick shower (really warm day). Lay down naked.

Massage was ok. She knew what she wanted to do (short sharp strokes) but it didn't really hit the spot for me. I gave up trying to explain what I wanted (longer, deeper pushes into the muscle) so just took what was given. 30-40 mins in and no swipes or intimate touches so I did wonder whether anything was on offer. To be honest, by that time, I didn't care and would've been fine with just the average massage.

However, she eventually asked (£20 for HR, £40 for B2B). I thought sod it, let's see what's under her clothes. Bit annoying that she asked for money upfront, but I guess people have taken the piss in the past. In hindsight, I shouldn't have bothered. Not that she had a bad bod (it quite fine) but her idea of B2B was just a naked massage standing alongside the table. I let it slide (no pun intended). Bobo was fine with a bit of nipple licking, lip kissing and external fingering (not inside). Her handjob consisted of one technique (up and down) and 2 speeds (on or off) and I was so bored that I started losing wood. Saved the day with a bit of fantasizing.

Came, cleaned up, showered, left and wandered back into the glorious sunshine to reflecting on my failed days punting.

Total cost £80 (£40/hr + £40 extra).

Rating
The whole experience was mediocre and borderline negative. Bobo's demeanour just about keeps this over the border in neutral, but it's a shabby place and I have no intention of a repeat visit.