Took a risk & learnt a lesson!
Saw this advert on Gumtree, rang & agreed 30mins sexy sensual massage with HE for £60.
(Yeah I know for £10 extra I can have a full punt!).
She said she was v'exp early 20's & I'd be back for more!
Anyway a treasure hunt to find as she kept wanting me to ring every 5mins so she could impart the address in bits (should have ditched her at this stage). Eventually get house number which is a flat in Clifton overlooking the Downs.
Anyway get buzzed in & go up to flat, my suspicions were right, below average looker, mid 30's, size 12/14 & a Romanian!
Thought fuck it I need my balls emptying let's try it (again mistake I should have walked!).
Clothes off & on to the bed, she's fully clothed in some black gypsy outfit, starts to give me a massage which wasn't bad but then after 5 mins asked me to flip. She then proceeded to put on some fucking latex rubber gloves! I think WTF!
I'd showered before punt as I always do so was as clean as a whistle.
She then proceeded to try & wank me off as quickly as possible - clearly this is her idea of saving gym membership, losing some fat & getting a quick workout!
I told her to slow down but she just said it's only 30 min booking!
So I gave up & hoped I'd spunk in her eye to teach the con-artist a lesson - but to no avail, my chest got the full load.
Checked the watch & it was 15 mins after I'd arrived, she was clearly done with me mumbled something about I can take a shower if I want.
I thought fuck yes I'll have 15 mins of your hot water to sooth the pain in my wallet.
That was definitely the highlight - having to hold your finger on the start button of the electric shower other wise it stops is always a treat & makes washing off cheap crap cooking oil easy as wiping your ass in handcuffs!
Then to top off this excellent experience what better than being offered a damp towel with yellow stains on it!
Which is why I'm now still wet whilst fully clothed as I type this fucking car crash of a review!
Yes I was a twat to go for this but all my hot list girls were busy & I thought I'd take one for the UK Punting Bristol team so you guys don't have to!
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