First review so expect some stupidity.
Normally I've been checking out reviews to dip my wick successfully but got to review this before somebody throws their money away. One of my first real punts and a lesson learnt the hard way. This time I took a flier and what a waste. Normally I enjoy the massage with extras at my favourite Skank place in Fratton Oriental wellbeing.
External Link/Members Only External Link/Members OnlyMeeting was based early afternoon in Waterlooville on the outskirts of Portsmouth, chose 1 hour@ £100 as I was very familiar with the area. Parked at Waitrose I min around the corner.
I like the oriental look, and after I couldn’t get together with £apple£ the new member profile ticked my boxes. Good looking, large Puppies and shapely. She was definitely getting ‘all you can eat’ lunch and I was getting hopefully a good massage to boot.
Comms were quite quick but limited in content-just business.
Flat was clean and tidy and not in a bad area and relatively new. I arrived early but she text me the number.
Met at the door and immediately put finger over mouth to be quiet. Shoes off. Another lady walked passed.
Now you’ve clicked on the profile and yeah, you’d play with that minx.....but this obviously wasn’t in the same league. 5 Foot, probably late 30’s, pimple chested, thin framed and wasn’t at the front of the queue for looks either. I’m not saying she was ugly but I wouldn’t have been there if that was her profile picture. Run Forest Run, I could hear myself muttering. I had no back up WG and thought just use her as a hole. I said 30 mins after a quick change of heart knowing she wouldn’t know anyway, paperwork sorted. Quick nip out to stash the cash and then started to take her clothes off. No foreplay, erotic touching or even underwear to lift the spirits. Ushered onto the bed for what I could only describe as dry kneading bread by an amateur (Back). Literally five minutes and flipped me over.
Fuck!!!-I could see her again. Poor John Thomas wanted to play ‘I’m a turtle’ and hide. After some tugging of the shaft (going no-where) I had to ask for a bit of oral. Covered free, uncovered extra £10. A conversation ensured that she should at least; nibble the nugget as she wasn’t the real person I was meant to see. She said sorry, and I just went covered. She did try bless her, but kept spitting in the bin next to her, obviously latex isn’t yummy and gagged a few times trying to eat the bone whole. Weird. I played a bit with her giblets but It wasn’t for me and unappealing. I then pointed to her semi furry bush and she got on top for some riding. I finished it off at a better speed while she just faked moaned. She could have done my Nails at the same time if I was quick thinking enough. She then kneaded my front dough and said Ok after 5 mins. Elvis then left the building.
Total =20 mins of my life I’ve lost.
As you can make out, poor punt, switched and don’t bother. Sarcasm just can’t be helped.
