Cost: £400
Duration: 2 hours
Location: Outcall in Mayfair
External Link/Members OnlyZuza was actually my plan B. I had a booking with another Lovely Melissa (
External Link/Members Only) who, when I called to confirm, after 20 texts the day before, suddenly got all shitty when I was explaining that there was lots of security about and key cards in the hotel due to events and film shoot in the bar next door, etc etc. She was like if its going to be too much trouble I cannot be fucked and so I told her thanks but no thanks......
Wanted to see Caroline but she wasnt available. Remember reading good reports on Zuza and decided to go with her.
Got a text 5 mins before she was due to arrive and told to meet outside on the street. Did that and despite having asked for her to be dulled down and look like a civil - you could see from a mile away she was a hooker! In any case, said hi and walked through the busy lobby together. She's tall - close to 6 foot i'd say, pics are very photoshopped - very photoshopped. Could see it then but when she had everything off, she was overweight and tacos all over her back, which, weren't bad, bit certainly not what is on the packaging of the HC website.
Anyway onto the action. Up to the room and all that she was interested in was a drink.....I had a nice bottle of red open, but no, had to be white, so ordered a bottle of white. That came up and it was like she was trying to get me pissed..... All talk and drink so far, 30 mins into the 2 hour punt. Eventually Zuza pounced on me and we were DFK - but not in a good way. She is quite aggressive and raunchy which took me by suprise. Then OWO, which was ok, but I have had better, much better. Then just as I'm about to cum, she stops, stand up, and goes to have another drink and I end up just dribbling the 5 days worth of cum out on myself in a major anti climax.....not impressed. She apologises and offers me another glass of wine :-)
Went to go and clean myself up in the bathroom and returned to the room and back to chatting - she is really hard to understand and I travel the world used to different accents, but she was garbled and spoke so fast that i had to ask her to slow down.
The short massage, she squirted baby oil everywhere and messed about with a tit job - was ok. Then on to fuck her, I pulled out a new pack of durex - I got a no, "I have an allergy to them" and she whipped out her own brand which were XXL size and smelt really strong....I'm only an enrage guy, so it felt like i had a big black bin liner on....we fucked in a few positions, but i was starting to zone out a bit at this stage. Pop 2 in the bag and then into the shower with the two of us.....Back to the room and I decided it was time to fuck again, so did so and said i wanted to cum on her tits. She fucked hard for a while and then just kept going when i got close, so pop nr 3 into the bag as well. Then, back to the booze, wanted a vodka and red bull, had that and then another short massage....then we hit the swear again..... she then looks at her phone and declares that she is going to leave in 5 mins......20 mins short of the 2 hours. I had had enough so said fine, but for those of you who haven't guessed - not impressed with his one.
Sorry boys, I know there have been lots of good reviews on this one - but i wasn't impressed across a number of different fronts. It was my first time using an agency and not sure that i would head down that route again either. Too much for what I got and if that she best there is, then AW is probably a better bet in terms of VFM
Negatives: Photoshoped pics, clock watching, not really into, despite her saying ' I really like you' 3 times. She has gained lots of weight since the photo shoot and doesn't have a waistline at all as they appear in the pics
