First review in the hope of saving another poor soul.
The sack of spuds -
External Link/Members OnlyPorn Nicole
My description is accurate; the pictures, description and everything else is bullshit. This was terrible. Was expecting a tall, pretty, slim, leggy brunette from Switzerland, opened the door to a short, ugly, chubby blonde (technically, old bleach job) Romanian. Like it wasn't even close, like at all. I'm quite pragmatic and this is not an embellishment.
She told me the price was £50 for half hour or £100 for the hour then told me she had a sore lip piercing, so OWO, DFK, ball licking, rimming and anal (wtf) were all out. At this point I should have walked but she looked like someone had just killed a puppy in front of her so I felt bad and went with 30 minutes (mistake, kind of my bad I guess). I lay on the bed and she grabbed my piece, like how you might grab a dead mouse by the tail to throw away, then put on a condom with her body what looked and seemed like about 9 feet away from me, then attempted a blowjob but I was soft as shit and just felt sorry for her. At this point, and after only what I can describe as a Herculean effort of concentration, I was able to muster a semi for this sad panda after about 5 minutes (thought again about walking while my penis is in her mouth) and went on to RO to try and get solid before I could get the fuck out of there. She had her hand attached to my head (claw style) so I didn't "push too hard" but I'm having a go at her like a kitten drinking a saucer of milk, barely even touching her. Fuck this, missionary while thinking of King and Country to shoot and leave. Same deal again, hand on midsection so I "dont go too deep". Dude, I'm a normal white guy, I'm not Mandingo. I'm literally thinking of every horny image I can muster with eyes forced shut but it's not happening. I'm hard but my head is telling me to bolt or just wank out the window. I ask for anal, she looks at me like I've just called her mother a satan worshipping ISIS sympathiser, can I cum on your tits - same look, can I come on your butt - same. So I stay in mish with her hand still anchored to my abs and finish into the dinger after staring at her tits in between thinking about ANYTHING else. Couldn't get dressed fast enough and left her to go back to staring at the wall or whatever else she does with her time. Felt like I had been robbed, and should have immediately walked at the door but thought she might be taking me in to see the actual chick I booked and talked too. Horrendous experience.
But the flat was beautiful, great area in Canary Wharf, hence the high expectations. A client of mine used to live in that building, so rent is nosebleed high.
In short - services OW, RO, Missionary (sort of). Absolute robbery. Don't go anywhere near.
Topic: London - Canary Whatf- Porn Nicole - AVOID!!!! Horrible fake profile. (Read 1084 times)
