This week I’ve seen Jyoti & Uma again at my favourite massage place, it was outstanding, we were all engaged in the experience, I was rock hard virtually the whole hour which featured a magnificent four handed reach-under and an explosive ending.
I’m thinking leave it at that, you can’t top it without a shed load of research.
So today, feeling horny and with time and opportunity in my favour, started searching for some fun and found Amber, 23, a young Finnish girl with a beautifully written advert on backpage.
External Link/Members OnlyAmber, Kensington: massage plus…. I know, the photos look too good to be true and a service offering including tantric, body to body massage, blowjob, sensual kissing, penetration and more for £100 an hour all inclusive had my cynical side sucking his teeth in disbelieving contemplation.
I texted this morning and had no response and was in the middle of exploring other possibilities when she texted confirming she was available at my requested time and then called me, I couldn’t pick up so we exchanged a few texts, confirmed services and address.
I needed to move the meeting slightly, texted and called, no response, then she called back, she sounded like I imagined she would, young, blonde, hot and Finnish, no problem, just call when you are outside and I’ll let you in….
I drove to her place and it was amazing that I got there in one piece.
Little Yeboah was screaming, follow your gut, look how hot she is, look at that tight body, you’ve got a chubby already, Scandinavian birds are fucking filth, she’s not only gorgeous but she she’s got a sweet personality and it’s going to be a proper girl friend experience which is going to start with her slithering all over you, sucking and fucking you into a Nordic heaven, receiving a massive facial which she will scrape into her gob and swallow, lick her lips, smile, then ask for round two.
Big Yeboah meantime was telling me I’m a cunt, TOFTT with a slapper of backpage, your not a novice punter, don’t act like one and you’ll be taking the driving equivalent of the walk of shame back down this road after encountering a masculine looking munter from Rochdale in her forties with droopy tits and a visible moustache and do you know how much petrol you are wasting on this futile journey.
So I arrive, text, pay £9 for 90 minutes parking because I’m going to love it and she’s not going to let me go. The area is top notch, the local hotel is the Baglioni, I watch nervously as a hot MILF maneuvers her G-Class M63 into the space behind me, she manages it without smashing my back end with the spare wheel mounted on her back door.
I get a text back, she needs a few minutes to get ready, fair enough, I’ve chopped and changed timings, the clock starts ticking, after five minutes she calls, says come to a different number than the one she first gave and I get to front door, it is buzzed open and I spot a door opening upstairs, its her and I see her.
It’s not the girl in the photo, but she is pretty, 5 feet eight, slim size 8, looks all natural, wearing good jeans and a white top and what looks like a comedy syrup perched at a slightly jaunty angle on her head, its bizarre, I ask about it, she says it’s to save on hair maintenance when she’s working, I stifle a laugh and go with the flow.
I get déjà vu, I’ve been here before, a few years ago, same – come to 21 then when I arrive it’s number 5, same flat, same crazed look, but the syrup is something new, and strange. I crack on, it’s Amelie-m
External Link/Members Only the photos are her, elongated and slimmed up, she’s 23 or 27 on that profile and promises much in the text but doesn’t have a likes list, a hooker with no likes list is the same as a footballer with no boots, strange. She told me today she's been here a year and a hals, it was at least three years ago that we met before.
Late twenties is right, she talks in a cute, soft, sweet way and my urge to walk is overruled by my cock which is twitching as she starts taking off her jeans and top, then the black underwear as I rip my kit off, revealing a very good body, smallish natural tits, great arse, long legs, flawless skin, it could be the body in the photos, but five years ago, sporting a Desperate Dan level five o’clock shadow around the muff.
She is a grade one nutter, she confirms services, I’m naked, she’s naked then she brings a rubbish bag to the bedside along with a toilet bag from which she removes a king size wrapper of Huggies, lube, some strange looking cream and some nodders, she asks mew to lie on my front and proceeds to give me her version of body to body on my back, it’s basically rubbing her tits on me and moaning unconvincingly.
The whole time she delivers a whole new level of disengagement and lacklustre.
I think fuck this for a game of soldiers and turn over, start groping her and ask for the blowjob element.
She breaks out the Huggies, wipes my hands, cock and balls, lubes cock and balls, all vigourously and repeatedly, I’m smelling like a fucking maternity ward at changing time and snaps on an industrial strength condom.
Her blow job is strange to say the least, varying between toothy shallow throat, must be toothy if I can feel it through the condom, closed mouth kissing the shaft and at my insistence, tentative ball licking, all the time I’m grabbing handfuls of synthetic hair and moving it out of the way so I can watch.
There is intermittent closed mouth kissing, I’m hard but this is doing nothing for me so I plonk her on top and start rubbing my nearly numb, still be-condomed cock against her pussy, she says I don’t normally do sex and before I can say but that was in your list of services bitch, she’s applied more lube and I’m inside, she has her hand holding the base of my dick and more by good luck than judgment, after 10 minutewsshagging she hits the right spot and I shoot into the rubber.
She cleans me up and used shit loads more Huggies, the bedside rubbish bag is overflowing with crap now – and she takes a fucking call – from a punter – and tells him she’ll be free in ten minutes!
I’m half an hour into my time and tell her she is kidding, she says don’t worry, he’s a foreigner and she was taking the piss.
I’m determined to get a second pop and ask for body to body on my front, she says ok but no oil, this lasts two minutes and I say I want more oral, she gets into a sideways position and applies a condom, then delivers more toothy sucking and remarkable goes deep throat for one stroke only, I can feel fuck all apart from teeth so I get her back on top, fuck her cowgirl as hard as I can with her hand on the base of my shaft “holding the condom on”, I flip her into doggy and pound away, still numbingly feeling-free, despite the fact she’s pretty tight so I go for missionary and notice two ridges at the base of my knob, she’s double bagged me, fucking hell!
I pull out and she removes the condoms, I say why two, she says it was only one, I call her a liar and tell her I want a hand job to completion which she does and I shoot my muck. I grope her arse and pussy which is dripping, not with love juice from our frantic fucking but copious amounts of lube.
You can see the pictures of Amber/Amelie-m via the links, the attached is a photo of the wig.
So I’ve had a shit massage, no oil, two horrendous covered blowjobs, below average sex in three positions and been double bagged by a nutter in a syrup, what a fucking punt!
I'm questioning my judgement and contemplating the meaning of life, little Yeboah has been sentenced to a week on the naughty step.
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