Inspired by Skittish's requests for advice I have decided to make Nik's 21 Rules of Punting taken from near the end of my book free for all.
These are things I have learnt from half a lifetime's punting in no particular order.
1. Price does not correlate to service in this business. An experience costing £100 can be as good if not better than one costing £250 plus, although if someone is charging less than £50 it will most likely be shite.
2. Nearly all wgs in my experience do not look as good as their photographs which often flatter them.
3. Girls who ask for the money and then assiduously count it before stashing it away are never as good as those who are more laid back about it. The attitude to money at the beginning of a punt is often the real indicator of what is to follow.
4. Similarly girls who offer you a drink are usually better than those who don’t.
5. Girls who greet you with a proper mouth kiss are going to be better than those who don’t or those who ostentatiously present their cheeks to kiss.
6. Good girls are good from the very first appointment. If one is bad she won’t get any better, although occasionally some girls’ levels of service can decline over time.
7. Similarly service will not improve during a punt if it begins unpromisingly. Only on a couple of occasions have I experienced a decent punt that has begun indifferently.
8. The above factors help me work out almost immediately whether the punt is going to be a good one or not. In later years I was seldom wrong, sussing them out within a couple of minutes or even less.
9. Don’t be afraid to make your excuses and leave should you get bad vibes. One of my biggest regrets in punting is that I didn’t do it more often in the early days.
10. Pimps and receptionists tell lies.
11. Nearly all paid sex forums - apart from the excellent UK Punting! - are established to make profits for their owners. As these profits are largely derived from the money service providers pay to advertise, they discourage and in some cases suppress negative views of the industry. Quite simply they are there to serve the interests of pimps and prossies rather than punters.
12. Hearing a wg’s voice wherever possible is worth a dozen emails and text communications.
13. If they are working from a dump the service is likely to be crap.
14. Punters who tell you they have never had a bad punt are either easily satisfied or liars.
15. Just because there are far more positive field reports than negative ones does not mean that this is a true reflection. Many punters don’t report bad uns for fear of receiving rebuttals or because they prefer to block it from their memory. I know these reasons to be true as I have experienced them myself. The true ratio is probably nearer 50/50.
16. Far more men pay for sex than will ever admit to it.
17. Prossies always insist they pay tax.
18. Wg’s who have a full time ‘proper’ job are often more reliable than those who are full time prossies.
19. Never set out on a long journey unless you have a full address or a plan B, C and D in that locality.
20. Like chasing gambling losses, chasing punting losses often leads to disappointment. If you have a bad ‘un it’s usually better to call it a day and go for a pint rather than seek out another one.
21. And finally don’t ever believe punting can be a substitute for love. Even if a wg tells you that you are a special client, a ‘client’ is all you will ever be.
Now, those of you who haven't, buy the rest of the book!
