Spanking advice

[tigerbiker]

I have never been into BDSM or spanking - but a booking with a SP last year stirred an interest (she told me what she did with other punters - but she has now retired). This gave me an itch to investigate and I have enjoyed watching mild spankin porn.

Years ago I did try spanking with a SP who suggested it - but I could not get into it - mainly because psychologically "hitting" anyone - especially a woman goes counter to my character and instinct. BUT I want to try it and not hurt any one physically.

I have found a new SP who says she is up for mild spanking and I want to give it a go. Are there any spankers out there that can offer advice?

What is the best position? How do you spank without causing pain and injury? How many strokes? When to stop? How to tell when the spankee has had enough?

Not much on here by spankers - any pros to offer advice?

I just fancy getting some bum cheeks red and rosey without any hassle

[KatieEdinburgh]

Communication is key. Absolutely. 

Other pointers would be

• Start slow/gentle and build up the impact, don’t start too heavy
• You can alternate spanking with more tease/tickle sorts of sensations like gently stroking or a pinwheel toy ?
• Consent before the session, and during the whole scene
• Everyone is different, what someone might enjoy your next partner may not

You can use traffic light system if that’s helpful.
Red: Stop all play completely. Amber: I’m starting to approach my limit. Green: All good.
If you have safe words it’s a no brainer than everyone should fully understand and not forget them, you can use different words but it needs to be relatively easy to remember.

These videos might also answer some questions better about where is actually safe to spank
External Link/Members Only
External Link/Members Only

[Thephoenix]

Why not get a SP to try it on you.
Wouldn't that give you a good insight on the level of pain, positions, implements, safe words etc?,  and you might find you enjoy it.

[Billy no mates]

I always spank, read my reviews.

I never leave anyone red, it’s very mild
I spank bum, thigh and fanny.
Change speed and positioning regularly.
Mix in dirty talk “you naughty slut” that type of thing
I find a lot of girls like to be ‘held’ down with the non spanking hand.

Make sure you get consent.

[Atrueyorkie]

Yeah consent is the main thing.

Depends on the angle and the shape, and position your in

Best to start off light and after obtaining the green light, check if that level is okay before maintaining that and see if that’s too much or if she would like it more etc. playing it by ear essentially

[jimbobted]

Previous replies are good advice. Another method I have used is to get the spanked to count the strokes - start soft if she doesn't count she wants it harder gradually increase until she starts counting, if she counts 2 then back off. If she jumps to the number of strokes she's agreed to take, stop. Works quite well.

If using implements be aware that they all inflict very different amount of pain and different sensations. Sometimes this works counter intuitively. A heavy looking leather flogger usually you can strike much harder than something flimsy.
In a prolonged session check in from time to time "What colour are we?", Although of course she is free to say red or yellow at any time, it gives me and her reassurance that all is well.
I was playing with a sub yesterday in a dungeon that had some unusual implements. One was a sort of short handle with a rubber tail a couple of feet long which had bulges on it. Tapped her arse very gently with it "OUCH. Six!"

But yes main thing is to talk about what you're going to do, make sure she knows how to communicate if it's too much, start gentle and respect her limits.
You could also ask her to spank you, so you know what you're inflicting.

[Adoniron]

If the SP is up for it, ask her how she likes it. Tell her you're inexperienced but want to try it. Above all, choose an SP who is really into it, plenty are.

[Stevelondon]

Spanked submissive Amira. She simply told me how she liked it. As I’m the kind of guy who likes giving pleasure 😂.  It worked well.

When I next see Erotic Emms I have already told her she is in for a spanking. (She wrote back saying how much she is looking forward to it. 

As others have said. Comms are the key. No use booking someone who isn’t into having their arse smacked.
Innit 😂

[jesse4585]

...
What is the best position? How do you spank without causing pain and injury? How many strokes? When to stop? How to tell when the spankee has had enough?

Not much on here by spankers - any pros to offer advice?

I just fancy getting some bum cheeks red and rosey without any hassle

For an inexperienced spanker, talking it through with the SP first is key. Or if you find that sort of conversation difficult - start very gently. And definitely dont increase firmness without checking they are ok. Not sure how literally you mean 'how do you spank without causing pain.'  Some lasses have a very low pain threshold - so unless they've took pain killers or are drunk, the only way to spank without causing pain is to slap them really softly. Like so soft that if you was striking a bag of crisps, not a single crisp would break.

But for some, feeling pain is the point. Folk can enjoy the pain for a number of reasons, including that it often triggers the release of pleasure hormones.  Had a lass once who didn't even have spanking on her services, but she liked being spanked so much she said it was a shame I'd not brought a whip. She explained that causes much more pain than hand spanking (which she wanted) but much less risk of causing a bruise. I did end up whipping her on the 2nd visit, and she loved it.

It takes quite hard spanking to get the bum cheeks red & rosy. With olive skinned & darker lasses, it might not even be possible without a serious risk of injury. Even with light skinned English lasses, I'd guess less than 2 in 10 would be ok with the severity of spanking it needs to get them red & rosy.  So if that's seriously your fantasy, it would be important to find someone that really likes being spanked hard - it generally wont be the ones saying they like mild spanking.

Re positions,  I read on a spanking forum years back that if your egoing to severely spank with something like a cane, it's best to get them to lie flat on their stomach- that way there is less risk of injury.  I never spank that severely myself, so can't confirm.  For milder spanking,it may be best to try lots of different positions.  Virtually all lasses like being a bit sub IME,  so enjoy being ordered about into the classic positions like bending over,  over the knee, leaning against a wall & kneeling on the bed. But again - only about 1 in 10  enjoy being hit hard enough to leave lasting red marks.

[Malvolio]

I expect the WG will tell you in no uncertain terms when she wants you to stop.  My advice to the OP is to have a conversation with the WG before the punt takes place, make it clear what he wants to do (spank until her arse has turned red) and check she's OK with that.  No point going to the punt expecting a spanking session without making sure it's going to happen.

[dieseldriver]

Try 'Spanknet'.co.uk. But beware of the Amazon scam. Many asking for £50 deposit via Amazon voucher. Then once get it, never hear from them again. And when try to contact them find they blocked you.
Why not join a spanking club. The Spankeefinder site lists some. I've been to many in the past and met ladies to have fun with privately. The site has also has lists of spankee's in different parts of the UK.

[akauya]

What is the best position? How do you spank without causing pain and injury? How many strokes? When to stop? How to tell when the spankee has had enough?

Not much on here by spankers - any pros to offer advice?

I just fancy getting some bum cheeks red and rosey without any hassle

Just to add to the good advice you already received, another alternative to paying a WG for this if you really get into BDSM try join Fetlife. Start easy, read a lot, join groups, go to lots of munches (very important to get yourself known), make friends, then go to events where you will meet people who are really into it.

Of course all of that is a lifestyle, not an hour of booking a WG, it takes a very long time to get into the scene and it's not for the fainthearted, as you will see really extreme stuff, but if you're really into BDSM it can be rewarding.

[Adoniron]

Try 'Spanknet'.co.uk. But beware of the Amazon scam. Many asking for £50 deposit via Amazon voucher. Then once get it, never hear from them again. And when try to contact them find they blocked you.
Why not join a spanking club. The Spankeefinder site lists some. I've been to many in the past and met ladies to have fun with privately. The site has also has lists of spankee's in different parts of the UK.

Probably about 50% of the profiles on Spanknet are scammers but most of the advertisers on Spankeefinder are genuine.

[dieseldriver]

Another site is 'itc-mag.co.uk'. Name of site goes back to the days when it was a magazine. I've met several in the past from it. Most, either pro Dom or sub won't give you a HJ to finish off the session. And  all spankeefinder profiles has 'no sexual services' on them, although some did. Just have to try your luck! And in case you're wondering what ITC stands for, In The Corner. Where naughty girls and boys have to stand either before or after a spanking.

[Stevelondon]

Probably about 50% of the profiles on Spanknet are scammers but most of the advertisers on Spankeefinder are genuine.

I would have put it higher than 50%.....do not even bother with Spanknet.

[Son of the Desert]

Lots of useful advice on here.  The main one is to check consent and don't assume that you'll get a spankee who will offer sex (if you want that).  I recall one girl telling me "I'm a sub, not a slut".  This is I think especially true of spanking parties which is why I've never been to one.

The main thing I've learnt is that a girl who is happy to be spanked is putting herself totally into the spanker's hands so asking in advance and listening to her during the session is important.  I've learnt how to be both more dominant and more caring at the same time.  As for how hard to spank or for how long, that all depends.  I gave one girl 1000 spanks and she enjoyed it immensely but not all girls would.  Probably best to start light and slow and work up - she'll tell you when she's had enough.

I agree that implements are best applied with the girl lying flat or over something as aiming can otherwise be tricky.  Spanking itself however i prefer to do with the girl over my knee.  It's intimate and practically all of her body will be available and within reach for you to play with and explore during the session.  She'll also feel you getting hard which in my experience encourages her to give her all once the fucking begins.

You've reminded me that I must get back in touch with Amira again.  Her bottom won't go pink, she's too dark skinned for that, but she is fun to have across my knee.'

[allroadboy]

I had a SB who loved spanking as part of play. I'd put her on all 4's and then ask her questions, the answer was always a number, 3 or 15 or 45 whatever the number doesn't really matter - what she didn't know and what really turned her on was whether the number would equate to number of spanks, number of seconds rimming her, seconds fingering her ass or me cuddling her and kissing her. The first time I kissed her as an alternative the look of arousal in her eyes was incredible she was so passionate for that minute or so ... she loved it and I loved it !

[dieseldriver]

Just to add to the good advice you already received, another alternative to paying a WG for this if you really get into BDSM try join Fetlife. Start easy, read a lot, join groups, go to lots of munches (very important to get yourself known), make friends, then go to events where you will meet people who are really into it.

Of course all of that is a lifestyle, not an hour of booking a WG, it takes a very long time to get into the scene and it's not for the fainthearted, as you will see really extreme stuff, but if you're really into BDSM it can be rewarding.

I was once a member of Fetlife, but dropped out cos of so many ladies declining to meet. Attended a local munch, went to parties, all to no avail. Yes, it can take time to get to be known. However, if have the time to attend everything within traveling distance then might get lucky?

[akauya]

I was once a member of Fetlife, but dropped out cos of so many ladies declining to meet. Attended a local munch, went to parties, all to no avail. Yes, it can take time to get to be known. However, if have the time to attend everything within traveling distance then might get lucky?

As I mentioned in my previous post. BDSM (Fetlife, etc) is a lifestyle.

[edit. deleted stuff that may go against rules].

[jm6d]

Much good advice here. Just some thoughts from a man that has spanked professionals in seven countries.

"Mild spanking" sounds like a trap. Not from her, but for you. You will never know how to spank and the anxiety could ruin the experience.

Spanking is spanking with the hand. Using implement is something quite different and the worst, rarely available, can easily do much damage, if even temporary, to the body even if carefully and correctly used.

The individual reactions differs a lot. To start with go to somebody, for instance on Spankeefinder, that really are into being spanked.

Experience - I wrote. My first spanking was a very good experience even though it was technically a whipping. In the spring of 1990 I was in Copenhagen and saw in Ekstrabladet a woman advertising spanking. I came to her and for a period of time, 20 or 30 minutes, she was lying on the bed and I could choose between using my hand or a, probably extremely soft, whip. So I whipped and whipped. No reaction. My arm became tired and I walked therefrom euphoric. I hope you can experience something similar.

[sensualencounter]

For an inexperienced spanker, talking it through with the SP first is key. Or if you find that sort of conversation difficult - start very gently. And definitely dont increase firmness without checking they are ok. Not sure how literally you mean 'how do you spank without causing pain.'  Some lasses have a very low pain threshold - so unless they've took pain killers or are drunk, the only way to spank without causing pain is to slap them really softly. Like so soft that if you was striking a bag of crisps, not a single crisp would break.

But for some, feeling pain is the point. Folk can enjoy the pain for a number of reasons, including that it often triggers the release of pleasure hormones.  Had a lass once who didn't even have spanking on her services, but she liked being spanked so much she said it was a shame I'd not brought a whip. She explained that causes much more pain than hand spanking (which she wanted) but much less risk of causing a bruise. I did end up whipping her on the 2nd visit, and she loved it.

It takes quite hard spanking to get the bum cheeks red & rosy. With olive skinned & darker lasses, it might not even be possible without a serious risk of injury. Even with light skinned English lasses, I'd guess less than 2 in 10 would be ok with the severity of spanking it needs to get them red & rosy.  So if that's seriously your fantasy, it would be important to find someone that really likes being spanked hard - it generally wont be the ones saying they like mild spanking.

Re positions,  I read on a spanking forum years back that if your egoing to severely spank with something like a cane, it's best to get them to lie flat on their stomach- that way there is less risk of injury.  I never spank that severely myself, so can't confirm.  For milder spanking,it may be best to try lots of different positions.  Virtually all lasses like being a bit sub IME,  so enjoy being ordered about into the classic positions like bending over,  over the knee, leaning against a wall & kneeling on the bed. But again - only about 1 in 10  enjoy being hit hard enough to leave lasting red marks.

Whilst you have some very good advice there the “virtually all lasses….” is a bit dodgy. Whilst it’s in your experience, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Especially if it’s a paid encounter. Some of them only “like” it for money, same as many other escort services.

[jesse4585]

Whilst you have some very good advice there the “virtually all lasses….” is a bit dodgy. Whilst it’s in your experience, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Especially if it’s a paid encounter. Some of them only “like” it for money, same as many other escort services.

Fair point.  I've seen comments from several punters saying they find civy lasses more sub than WGs, which I think is correct on average. And whether its WGs or civvies, few women like to be hardcore sub, more just a general preference for the man to take the lead in bed. Still, if a WG is up for being spanked, seems most unlikely she'd be distressed by being ordered about into positions, & I think that's mostly fun for both parties.