Post punt cleansing ritual

[flybynightpm]

ok, its punt +1hr now, I've had a shower, cleaned my teeth, scrubbed my hands twice, blown my nose, had a pack of cheese & onion crisps and now wiping the punting phone.. but I can still smell her and the OT is coming home in a minute... groan.. So this is a bit of a plea to the ladies who will read this ...lay off the smelly stuff please..! I'll enjoy your company just as much !

[StevenS]

Splash on some aftershave then go for a quick jog

[Convince Me]

A Double Decker chocolate bar.

[flybynightpm]

Is that for her or me?

[doc14]

scampi fries

[flybynightpm]

Camouflage, like your thinking...

Think i've cleansed myself now... screwdriver to clean nails and squirted some lens cleaner all over myself...

[CBPaul]

If it's perfume then I find non-scented wet wipes help no end.

Otherwise if it's lady juice, a scrub with a shower gel such as Original Source Mint is good but be careful not to over do the sac and crack, makes my balls go freezing cold and my o-ring pucker up like a goldfish out of its bowl. 

All else fails go and fill the car up and have a slight mishap with the pump, the smell of unleaded or diesel will blot anything out, just don't have a smoke on the way home 

[greychap]

ok, its punt +1hr now, I've had a shower, cleaned my teeth, scrubbed my hands twice, blown my nose, had a pack of cheese & onion crisps and now wiping the punting phone.. but I can still smell her and the OT is coming home in a minute... groan.. So this is a bit of a plea to the ladies who will read this ...lay off the smelly stuff please..! I'll enjoy your company just as much !

You can still smell her where??

[Corus Boy]

ok, its punt +1hr now, I've had a shower, cleaned my teeth, scrubbed my hands twice, blown my nose, had a pack of cheese & onion crisps and now wiping the punting phone.. but I can still smell her and the OT is coming home in a minute... groan.. So this is a bit of a plea to the ladies who will read this ...lay off the smelly stuff please..! I'll enjoy your company just as much !

Now being single, I love the smell of a nice perfume and makeup including lipstick.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

ok, its punt +1hr now, I've had a shower, cleaned my teeth, scrubbed my hands twice, blown my nose, had a pack of cheese & onion crisps and now wiping the punting phone.. but I can still smell her and the OT is coming home in a minute... groan.. So this is a bit of a plea to the ladies who will read this ...lay off the smelly stuff please..! I'll enjoy your company just as much !

Simples.


Get a can of creosote and dab a bit of that on yer mitts. I'll do Two things.

1. Cover up ANY smells from the other woman.

2. Cause the missus to run away shouting "you'll stink the damn place out don't think of coming anywhere near me!..

Solved:-)

[flybynightpm]

I think I'll go an fill the car with diesel and quietly finger the nozzle... maybe i'm obsessing ... its like sweet almonds on my finger tips.. must be a spermicide or something..

[cueball]

Post punt cleanse is dick, bollocks, bell, brush teeth, mouthwash, good scrub of hands and face (pussy juice lingers), watch the clothes for perfume.

[CBPaul]

I think I'll go an fill the car with diesel and quietly finger the nozzle... maybe i'm obsessing ... its like sweet almonds on my finger tips.. must be a spermicide or something..

Sweet almonds, sounds like cyanide rather than spermicide  .

Unleaded should do the trick 

[azrael]

ok, its punt +1hr now, I've had a shower, cleaned my teeth, scrubbed my hands twice, blown my nose, had a pack of cheese & onion crisps and now wiping the punting phone.. but I can still smell her and the OT is coming home in a minute... groan.. So this is a bit of a plea to the ladies who will read this ...lay off the smelly stuff please..! I'll enjoy your company just as much !

I've only ever had one punt that i could still smell the woman on me, i just jump into the shower afterwards and use the missus shower gel, used it a few times after an evening with her also as she uses the herbal shop ones which have a nice lemon and lavender one. Pisses her off though but she thinks its becuase i like it, but in reality i cant stand it. But shes none the wiser

[SmackmaBitchUp]

Shave...trim down below .. Makes me look like a fucking pornstar when I drop my keggs! 

[WhackDaddy]

A quick wash of my hands and knob in the sink. Unless I can have a shower. Most times when I want a punt I'm working so regardless of how clean I leave home I may not be so clean when I get to her home. But always shaven below decks.

[Sparquin]

Simples.


Get a can of creosote and dab a bit of that on yer mitts. I'll do Two things.

1. Cover up ANY smells from the other woman.

2. Cause the missus to run away shouting "you'll stink the damn place out don't think of coming anywhere near me!..

Solved:-)

Better still try Jeyes Fluid. It is a disinfectant as well as annoyingly pungent.

[Trevor12]

Shower, piss and mouthwash.

Guys who brush their teeth- I've read somewhere on here not to brush your teeth a few hours before a punt (especially if RO is involved) as it's possible to create microdamage which would make you more susceptible to infection. I'm not sure if the same would apply post punt.

[superchamp]

Do any of you fellow non smokers notice that you can "taste" tobacco after kissing a smoker prossie for hours and hours after, even after brushing your teeth, chewing gum, etc.? Smokers, you can put 'em all in the cunts section. 

[squeezebox]

Yikes, just read a few of the suggestions..

1. Creosote
2. Jeyes Fluid
3. Unleaded Petrol

Hope you don't smoke...

Hidden Image/Members Only

[cueball]

Shower, piss and mouthwash.

Guys who brush their teeth- I've read somewhere on here not to brush your teeth a few hours before a punt (especially if RO is involved) as it's possible to create microdamage which would make you more susceptible to infection. I'm not sure if the same would apply post punt.

That makes sense, I only gently brush prior punt with very soft brush n mouthwash, last thing I want prior to ro is bleeding gums.

Anti bac mouthwash after and a proper brush then

[SirFrank]

Try rolling in foxes shit. My dog loves it and it smells like a rotting corpse. In my experience it tends to mask other smells

[cueball]

Try rolling in foxes shit. My dog loves it and it smells like a rotting corpse. In my experience it tends to mask other smells

No foxes round here, the Romanian wg's and their pimps have eaten em all

[masseyferguson]

I reckon that the more professional and considerate girls should offer to be fragrance free for bookings if that's what the punter wants, some of these perfumes are almost impossible to shift.

BTW I always take some of our household soap with me on a punt and shower / wash with that after the fuck - prossies think it's hilarious but even diff shower gel or whatever is a give away.

[LanceVance]

Shower, piss and mouthwash.

Guys who brush their teeth- I've read somewhere on here not to brush your teeth a few hours before a punt (especially if RO is involved) as it's possible to create microdamage which would make you more susceptible to infection. I'm not sure if the same would apply post punt.

I have read that it does, so only using mouthwash is the best measure to take after RO. Crunchy food such as crisps also causes microscopic cuts in the mouth, so avoid pre and post punt.

[DeWallenFan]

Can't help you there OP as I'm single, so it doesn't matter if I have a girls smell on me (well perfume anyways, not vagina lol)

My post punt ritual is Piss, shower, mouthwash then usually a few beers 

And as LanceVance said avoid crunchy foods, especially crisps. And dont brush your teeth for a good few hours after.

Cheers!

[webpunter]

All else fails go and fill the car up and have a slight mishap with the pump, the smell of unleaded or diesel will blot anything out, just don't have a smoke on the way home 

This was mentioned about a year ago on a thread something like 'close shaves with the OH' when realizing he still smelt of perfume / fanny batter.  Hilarious.  Diesel should be ok having a tab afterwards - not so sure about unleaded / super ! 

[CBPaul]

Try rolling in foxes shit. My dog loves it and it smells like a rotting corpse. In my experience it tends to mask other smells

 

After Jeyes Fluid, creosote and petrol we now have fox shit, brilliant.

Another option, and less dungy - air freshener.

Had a punt last year and the prossie must have been wearing a particularly noxious perfume. Got home several hours after the punt, went straight for a leak and suddenly realised I still smelt of the perfume. Inspection showed that one side of my neck absolutely reeked of the stuff and given that Mrs CBP once picked up on the scent of an otherwise unknown shower gel I knew the excrement was about to hit. The only option was to have a slight mishap with the air freshener, the nozzle somehow parted company with the can (perhaps something to do with several attempts at quietly smacking it against the wall whilst repeatedly flushing the bog, claiming stubborn floaters to disguise the noise). I covered myself in chamomile and rose scent which would even have obliterated Sir F's fox turd smell  and then ranted on about how I was going to sue the bastard manufacturers for the lung full of propellant I'd just inhaled. Mrs CBP made it clear that I was a ham fisted twat, that I should put all clothes in the washing machine and then have a good shower. Result.

[Deepstroker]

I think a woman always knows even though she may say nothing. It doesnt have to be smell, it can be mannerisms, your look, the way you act/talk.

Best tip,,have a punting outfit,change into it,,punt,,change out of it,shower,,,find a job around the house/wash the car so that you can wind down and when she comes back it makes it look like youve been busy and also puts you in the right frame of mind to be acting that role i.e the busy diy'er,,rather than someone who has just got their dick wet.

[Type_O_Negative]

Now being single, I love the smell of a nice perfume and makeup including lipstick.

+1 
I love it too! 

[webpunter]

Mrs CBP made it clear that I was a ham fisted twat, that I should put all clothes in the washing machine and then have a good shower. Result.

Brilliant.  Mrs WP thinks i'm a ham fisted twat most of the time.  And a twat all of the time.  Suits me coz the impression of bungling ineptitude is just perfect cover 

[claretandblue]

quick shower then back to the office is the norm for me,i wasnt aware of the crunchy food thing but dont often do ro,will still bear it in mind!

[CBPaul]

Brilliant.  Mrs WP thinks i'm a ham fisted twat most of the time.  And a twat all of the time.  Suits me coz the impression of bungling ineptitude is just perfect cover 

  

Sudden outbreaks of total incompetence have got me out of many potential disastrous situations. General forgetfulness buys good time as does the illusion of having an appalling sense of direction - not being able to find the end of the bonnet without sat nav bad - one day Mrs CBP will realise that I get caught in a well above average number of traffic jams 

[Blue84]

Head straight to the gym and take a dip in the pool. I always do that now.

[raylondoner]

Unleaded should do the trick 

Is that 95 RON or 98 RON? 

[CBPaul]

Is that 95 RON or 98 RON? 

The higher the better I would have thought. But I use diesel, better still, the smell really lingers on the fingers.

[webpunter]

The higher the better I would have thought. But I use diesel, better still, the smell really lingers on the fingers.

Just like fanny batter

[jcdmj12]

Simples.


Get a can of creosote and dab a bit of that on yer mitts. I'll do Two things.

1. Cover up ANY smells from the other woman.

2. Cause the missus to run away shouting "you'll stink the damn place out don't think of coming anywhere near me!..

Solved:-)

Don't forget.

3. Give you cancer if you make a habit of it