Sugar Babies
Shemales

Author Topic: Ever taken a shit during a punt?  (Read 6631 times)

Offline socks

socks your a fucking animal  :lol:

Maybe but my rationale is that they all drop bombs and whether it's 5 minutes or 5 hours ago, once they've stopped wiping or washing it isn't going to get cleaner over time. So strike while the irons hot I say. If there's a ladies' arsehole offering itself that doesn't stink of shit and isn't guarded by klingons, it's going to get a rimming off me  :thumbsup:

Tony Montana

  • Guest
It doesn't work that well tbh, just makes the room smell like shit and fire!

I had a curry that did that without the matches.

Offline madeinwales56

Had a yule-sized log pressing for the entire duration of a punt last night, but simply couldn't bring myself to go on a bombing run whilst using the shower.

So, I held it in.

Big mistake.

Anyone ever had that experience? If so, did you grin and bear it or smear the porcelain?

You are one weird mother fucker.

Offline unclepokey

I'm glad we've seemingly got over more personal matters.
What troubles me greatly are the mammoth faecal truncheons my neighbours dogs leave over the Pokeyacres front lawns. These transcend egregious so much more than klingons in a tart's toilet as I rarely see let alone use the latter.
Uncle Pokey

Offline madeinwales56

These transcend egregious so much more than klingons in a tart's toilet as I rarely see let alone use the latter.
Uncle Pokey

What the fuck does that mean exactly?

Offline Qwerty

Lighting a match creates a phosphorus ignition event that will also ignite the sulfur in the air and totally remove (not mask) the smell.

"Smelly sulphur will ignite at around 250 degrees Celsius, which is around the same as the ignition temperature of phosphorus (the ingredient in a match head). When you light a match the hydrogen sulphide will decompose to form to form water (vapour) and sulphur dioxide. This means no more hydrogen sulphide, and no more smell!"

Don't think hydrogen sulphide is the _only_ constituent of the smell though, as pure H2S smells like rotten eggs. So whoever posted saying this technique isn't that effective is probably right.

Offline starman555

madeinwales56 I am with you , what the fuck are they talking about now

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Talking about dogs poo. What ever happened to white dog shit?? As a kid that shit (pun intended) was everywhere but now where the fuck has it gone?>???   :unknown:

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Talking about dogs poo. What ever happened to white dog shit?? As a kid that shit (pun intended) was everywhere but now where the fuck has it gone?>???   :unknown:

Apparently dogs eat less bone nowadays  :unknown:
I don't believe I've just googled that  :dash:

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Apparently dogs eat less bone nowadays  :unknown:
I don't believe I've just googled that  :dash:

PMSL  :lol:

Quesadilla

  • Guest
Talking about dogs poo. What ever happened to white dog shit?? As a kid that shit (pun intended) was everywhere but now where the fuck has it gone?>???   :unknown:
Years ago dog food was much less highly processed and full of crap.  There's very little waste when you feed a dog a good healthy diet.  Modern dog foods contain all sorts of crap they are not able to digest hence bit steaming smelly turds.

A raw diet (ie meat and bones) seems to make the white shit - the powdered bone comes out in the stool.

Offline socks

Years ago dog food was much less highly processed and full of crap.  There's very little waste when you feed a dog a good healthy diet.  Modern dog foods contain all sorts of crap they are not able to digest hence bit steaming smelly turds.

A raw diet (ie meat and bones) seems to make the white shit - the powdered bone comes out in the stool.
thanks for that

Offline cueball

Years ago dog food was much less highly processed and full of crap.  There's very little waste when you feed a dog a good healthy diet.  Modern dog foods contain all sorts of crap they are not able to digest hence bit steaming smelly turds.

A raw diet (ie meat and bones) seems to make the white shit - the powdered bone comes out in the stool.

Are we on about having a shit during a punt or taking some shit with us to a punt?

Quesadilla

  • Guest
Are we on about having a shit during a punt or taking some shit with us to a punt?
Oh, I totally mis-read the title - saw West posted and thought it was about taking some good shit along to your local drug addict!   :sarcastic:

Marmite

  • Guest
Years ago dog food was much less highly processed and full of crap.  There's very little waste when you feed a dog a good healthy diet.  Modern dog foods contain all sorts of crap they are not able to digest hence bit steaming smelly turds.

A raw diet (ie meat and bones) seems to make the white shit - the powdered bone comes out in the stool.

I am now far more knowledgeable than I ever thought I would be about the properties of dog excrement.  Thanks for sharing.

Offline musicman007

you learn something new every day..and theres me thinking it was poodles that have white dumps... :wackogirl: :music:

Offline iPad3

Good bless UKP, you simply couldn't make this "shit" up!!

Offline regenmeister

I'm disappointed the OP didn't give the lady a cleveland steamer or receive a blumpkin  :)

Offline socks

I'm disappointed the OP didn't give the lady a cleveland steamer or receive a blumpkin  :)
He could have checked if she required a bowel movement too and if so taken the opportunity to produce a walnut whip. Missed opportunities...

Offline CBPaul

Don't think hydrogen sulphide is the _only_ constituent of the smell though, as pure H2S smells like rotten eggs. So whoever posted saying this technique isn't that effective is probably right.

I was once asked by a chemistry teacher, 'why do farts smell ?'

Being a diligent student I looked up the chemical make-up of flatulence and found it to be mainly nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane - the latter 2 being flammable as any teenage boy with a lighter knows full well.

The smelly stuff is hydrogen sulphide but also indole, skatole and other sulphur containing compounds such as methyl mercaptan and methyl sulphide.

He was genuinely impressed but the answer to the question 'why do farts smell ?' was apparently 'for the benefit of deaf people'.   

Sugarbabe

  • Guest
Haha!  Who'd have thought this thread would actually turn out rather educational!

Offline Deepstroker

An interesting thread. My work often takes me into peoples homes and the variety and standard of lavatory pedestal cleanliness never ceases to amaze me. They vary from...big richard jammed in the U bend in a pool of piss and severe staining to pristine,scrubbed with toothbrush,could eat your dinner off it. Why are some home occupiers such skanks that they leave a loo in such a rancid condition?

Offline starman555

"pedestal"....What in your house? I think you mean Bowl or pan!

Best way to keep them clean is to put cling film over the top, after of course you have sprayed a mouthful of nicely chewed up chocolate all round the pan...a little trick that does not go down to well at parties.

Offline riskytimes

had a few beers before a punt and had to wait in the waiting room until previous punter had finished , busting for a piss so I lifted the corner of the carpet and emptied my bladder !!! chuckled all the way home lol

fredpunter

  • Guest
 :unknown:
had a few beers before a punt and had to wait in the waiting room until previous punter had finished , busting for a piss so I lifted the corner of the carpet and emptied my bladder !!! chuckled all the way home lol

Offline the_exile

Had to take a piss on a few punts, but fortunately have been able to use a toilet - no carpet lifting required!

Sienna_Bronze

  • Guest
Fucking hell!! This has made me laugh! Cheers guys!

Offline socks

Fucking hell!! This has made me laugh! Cheers guys!
You've never had to accommodate a punter struggling to keep it all in then Sienna?