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Author Topic: Self loathing: The good, the bad & the ugly  (Read 2414 times)

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
What a business this is, up and down more often than a stripper’s knickers, right now I hate myself and am wondering why I bother.

I’ve got to have this rant and this is one of the only places I can with anonymity, not looking for sympathy so don’t flame me, just want to share, surely its not just me, is it?

Last week was a very good punting week with a meet with a notorious independent and an outstanding duo on Friday, both reviewed on here, I felt great but, as always wanted more.

This is in the general section because its about feelings not reviews, right now my feeling is that I hate myself and my obsessive need for punting as often as time and opportunity allow, my cock feels disinterested and my brain is screaming, stop you silly fucker.

So here we go, in no particular order.

The good

Tuesday was a highly anticipated meet with a girl who is pretty well reviewed and I wanted to find out what all the fuss was about after only fairly recently straying from agency girls only to mix up my punting experiences.

Well known hotel venue in West London, think a foot and a half above shepherd’s knee. Parked up, got room number and breezed past reception. Door opened to reveal what looked like a great body topped by a face that on first impressions promoted a feeling of hmmm?, pretty eyes, big nose, pouty mouth but not a face that would get heads turning in the street. A dark Eastern European heritage permeates her look. She’s not got great skin, not attractive and although her body looks awesome, her tits & arse are squidgy.

Can’t fault services delivered or attitude, Lots of kissing, deep throat, reverse oral, fucking in multiple positions and 3 pops in 90 minutes £200.

Overall, good with a large dollop of meh.

The bad

Sunday crossed over into punting as an obsession rather than hobby territory when, with a couple of hours to kill, I had a 4 hands oily body to body massage with a happy ending from a Latvian & Romanian combo, both young and exceedingly average in a house on the kind of estate I wouldn’t normally visit at £120 for an hour. It wasn’t bad and two naked oiled up young girls and a large mirror will always do the job for me. That was actually plan B because I hadn’t confirmed plan A which I did just before entering massage central.

So, half empty I turn up at a parade of shops in another part of the area that wouldn’t hold many attractions in everyday life to see, lets call her “Chantal”, 24 for an hour.

This turned out to be my first ever half hour punt, it would have been an hour had I been more motivated but after being called into the premises by the maid poking her head out of the door round the corner from the dry cleaners that is the landmark given. So, I walk in and the maid is busy doing paperwork in a kitchen/sitting room and I am taken to the bedroom, pretty good size, not quite spotless, featuring a large bed and a couple of mirrors, where I wait for “Chantal”, 24 who looks great in the website photos.

The photos were taken by a very kind photographer at least ten years and a good few stones ago, its also patently obvious why there are no face shots, she has a face only a mother could love. She was a size 12 to 14 with big floppy boobs, big, floppy arse, kept a corset contraption on to hide rolls of fat, had badly dyed hair and a sunny demeanor.

She performed toothy OWO, painful deepthroat, ball & shaft licking, used a small vibrator on my arse, cowgirl followed by more OWO to completion, money shot was taken trapped under her tits, presumably to minimize mess. Clean up was perfunctorily performed with wet wipes and tissues then a massage, then out, £100 and one more load lighter.

Bad, very bad.

The ugly

An independent from AW offering PSE, plus blonde pal £320 one hour.

Grotty flat in basement of grotty building in a grotty area, crap strewn all over the place, bedding when I checked didn't look pristine.

Miss PSE has a posh accent and a “get it done” attitude” small tits, soft, pliable arse and freckles, not the kind of hard porno body suggested by her photos, she kisses, lightly.

Blondie has bigger tits and arse, a bit firmer, an all over tan and a sullen demeanour, she doesn’t kiss because “I might see a few men a day” – but – you suck their cocks and stick your tongue up their arses luv!

Two rounds consisting of enthusiastic owo, deep throat, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and two facials. Thoroughly unsatisfactory, perfunctory, ugly, really ugly.

So I’ve spunked the price of very nice telly on 4 hours spent in the company of 6 girls, none of which I really fancied, shot 7 loads and feel shit.

I've had a long, hot shower to try and wash away the feeling of self loathing. Writing this has helped too, thanks for reading.

Is it normal to feel this bad when you’ve over indulged in a hobby your supposed to derive pleasure from?

cognito

  • Guest
Sounds like it has become an addiction and you are now punting for the sake of punting rather than the pleasure it brings. You need to take a break and divert your funds into something else for a while. Nice cars? Motorbikes? Clothes? Tools? Holidays?........Anything other than punting (or gambling) for a while. Reward yourself rather than working girls for a change. I am quite an inexperienced punter, so take my advice for what it is worth.

Offline flintstone

I've only felt bad after spending £120 on a rubbish punt.   When I've had a positive experience I have not regretted the spend.  However, this sounds like a bigger issue.   I have never even thought about more than one WG in a day unless it was a duo - that I still haven't done as I want to ensure I'm going to have a good experience for my hard earned cash.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Sounds like it has become an addiction and you are now punting for the sake of punting rather than the pleasure it brings. You need to take a break and divert your funds into something else for a while. Nice cars? Motorbikes? Clothes? Tools? Holidays?........Anything other than punting (or gambling) for a while. Reward yourself rather than working girls for a change. I am quite an inexperienced punter, so take my advice for what it is worth.

Thanks cognito, think you are right. I've got all the "stuff" one more punt booked for next week then a few weeks off.....

Offline Malvolio

You're always going to feel bad after having a shitty punt - but every so often you will have a shitty punt.  From what you posted, two of those you should have walked on - something to keep in mind the next time you find yourself misled by dodgy photos.

As someone else has said, give punting (including this site) a break for a week or so then see how you feel about it.

Online hendrix

Totally understand that feeling. A break from punting definitely helps!

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
You're always going to feel bad after having a shitty punt - but every so often you will have a shitty punt.  From what you posted, two of those you should have walked on - something to keep in mind the next time you find yourself misled by dodgy photos.

As someone else has said, give punting (including this site) a break for a week or so then see how you feel about it.

Thanks malvolio, need to get back in control

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Totally understand that feeling. A break from punting definitely helps!

You are right hendrix, last time I felt like this was when I was spending time abroad and shagging double digit numbers of hookers a week, it all went stale. Will take the advice from here which underlines what I was thinking and take a break.

Thanks to all for the understanding and advice.

Offline MJ.spritzen

Quote
Sounds like it has become an addiction and you are now punting for the sake of punting rather than the pleasure it brings. You need to take a break and divert your funds into something else for a while. Nice cars? Motorbikes? Clothes? Tools? Holidays?........Anything other than punting (or gambling) for a while. Reward yourself rather than working girls for a change. I am quite an inexperienced punter, so take my advice for what it is worth.

This is good advice, i was gonna say the same.

I went through a similar thing myself. For me i came to the realization that i was going with all these girls (at least one a week) to feel good about myself. But even the mos outstanding WG will make you feel good and even then it'll be only during the time you've paid for, and afterwards you'll have a come down - like a drug. And likely look at the money you spent and think of what you could've done with it. In my case i needed to start feeling good about myself internally and not rely on outside factors ie. WG's, drugs, alcohol to feel good about myself.

Knock the punting on the head for a while. I'm giving myself a 90 abstinence for the same reason as you. Take the money you would usually spend on a punt and buy something else, get a new hobby, go on a trip or something. Is there family/friends you can treat? Giving a nice gift would to friends/family would make you feel good and you wouldn't have a come down off it.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
This is good advice, i was gonna say the same.

I went through a similar thing myself. For me i came to the realization that i was going with all these girls (at least one a week) to feel good about myself. But even the mos outstanding WG will make you feel good and even then it'll be only during the time you've paid for, and afterwards you'll have a come down - like a drug. And likely look at the money you spent and think of what you could've done with it. In my case i needed to start feeling good about myself internally and not rely on outside factors ie. WG's, drugs, alcohol to feel good about myself.

Knock the punting on the head for a while. I'm giving myself a 90 abstinence for the same reason as you. Take the money you would usually spend on a punt and buy something else, get a new hobby, go on a trip or something. Is there family/friends you can treat? Giving a nice gift would to friends/family would make you feel good and you wouldn't have a come down off it.

Good advice MJ, thanks

Offline shagbambi

Slow down or take a break.  When it all becomes a blur you have no time to come off your previous high and to savour it.  Or to enjoy the build up to your next punt. That has been my experience and has resulted in me punting a lot less and enjoying my punts far more.


Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Slow down or take a break.  When it all becomes a blur you have no time to come off your previous high and to savour it.  Or to enjoy the build up to your next punt. That has been my experience and has resulted in me punting a lot less and enjoying my punts far more.

Thanks shagbambi, you are spot on, the advice from the fellas on here is consistent and gratefully received, I'm taking a break.

Offline Jock D

Very open and honest post OP. :hi:  I think there will be many punters(especially long term ones) who can relate to it first hand, I know I can. As has been discussed many times before, punting can become very addictive, and as with any addiction, the need for more, more, more and the self loathing that often brings, go hand in hand. Maybe subconsciously you were trying to overdose on punts, in the hope that it sickened you enough to stop for a while.

SuitedandBooted

  • Guest
Sorry to hear that YLF. Yup sounds like you need a break and try not to think about it (hard as that is).

Have often decided that I was doing it because I can rather then because i was enjoying it. Have now decided to only really punt when I really think it's going to be great.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Very open and honest post OP. :hi:  I think there will be many punters(especially long term ones) who can relate to it first hand, I know I can. As has been discussed many times before, punting can become very addictive, and as with any addiction, the need for more, more, more and the self loathing that often brings, go hand in hand. Maybe subconsciously you were trying to overdose on punts, in the hope that it sickened you enough to stop for a while.

Agree Jock, overdosed, now going to take a break, honest, hope the withdrawal symptoms aren't too bad....

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Sorry to hear that YLF. Yup sounds like you need a break and try not to think about it (hard as that is).

Have often decided that I was doing it because I can rather then because i was enjoying it. Have now decided to only really punt when I really think it's going to be great.

Thanks S&B, will take a break and come back fully re-charged after the holidays

Offline Sonny Crockett

What a business this is, up and down more often than a stripper’s knickers, right now I hate myself and am wondering why I bother.

I’ve got to have this rant and this is one of the only places I can with anonymity, not looking for sympathy so don’t flame me, just want to share, surely its not just me, is it?

Last week was a very good punting week with a meet with a notorious independent and an outstanding duo on Friday, both reviewed on here, I felt great but, as always wanted more.

This is in the general section because its about feelings not reviews, right now my feeling is that I hate myself and my obsessive need for punting as often as time and opportunity allow, my cock feels disinterested and my brain is screaming, stop you silly fucker.

So here we go, in no particular order.

The good

Tuesday was a highly anticipated meet with a girl who is pretty well reviewed and I wanted to find out what all the fuss was about after only fairly recently straying from agency girls only to mix up my punting experiences.

Well known hotel venue in West London, think a foot and a half above shepherd’s knee. Parked up, got room number and breezed past reception. Door opened to reveal what looked like a great body topped by a face that on first impressions promoted a feeling of hmmm?, pretty eyes, big nose, pouty mouth but not a face that would get heads turning in the street. A dark Eastern European heritage permeates her look. She’s not got great skin, not attractive and although her body looks awesome, her tits & arse are squidgy.

Can’t fault services delivered or attitude, Lots of kissing, deep throat, reverse oral, fucking in multiple positions and 3 pops in 90 minutes £200.

Overall, good with a large dollop of meh.

The bad

Sunday crossed over into punting as an obsession rather than hobby territory when, with a couple of hours to kill, I had a 4 hands oily body to body massage with a happy ending from a Latvian & Romanian combo, both young and exceedingly average in a house on the kind of estate I wouldn’t normally visit at £120 for an hour. It wasn’t bad and two naked oiled up young girls and a large mirror will always do the job for me. That was actually plan B because I hadn’t confirmed plan A which I did just before entering massage central.

So, half empty I turn up at a parade of shops in another part of the area that wouldn’t hold many attractions in everyday life to see, lets call her “Chantal”, 24 for an hour.

This turned out to be my first ever half hour punt, it would have been an hour had I been more motivated but after being called into the premises by the maid poking her head out of the door round the corner from the dry cleaners that is the landmark given. So, I walk in and the maid is busy doing paperwork in a kitchen/sitting room and I am taken to the bedroom, pretty good size, not quite spotless, featuring a large bed and a couple of mirrors, where I wait for “Chantal”, 24 who looks great in the website photos.

The photos were taken by a very kind photographer at least ten years and a good few stones ago, its also patently obvious why there are no face shots, she has a face only a mother could love. She was a size 12 to 14 with big floppy boobs, big, floppy arse, kept a corset contraption on to hide rolls of fat, had badly dyed hair and a sunny demeanor.

She performed toothy OWO, painful deepthroat, ball & shaft licking, used a small vibrator on my arse, cowgirl followed by more OWO to completion, money shot was taken trapped under her tits, presumably to minimize mess. Clean up was perfunctorily performed with wet wipes and tissues then a massage, then out, £100 and one more load lighter.

Bad, very bad.

The ugly

An independent from AW offering PSE, plus blonde pal £320 one hour.

Grotty flat in basement of grotty building in a grotty area, crap strewn all over the place, bedding when I checked didn't look pristine.

Miss PSE has a posh accent and a “get it done” attitude” small tits, soft, pliable arse and freckles, not the kind of hard porno body suggested by her photos, she kisses, lightly.

Blondie has bigger tits and arse, a bit firmer, an all over tan and a sullen demeanour, she doesn’t kiss because “I might see a few men a day” – but – you suck their cocks and stick your tongue up their arses luv!

Two rounds consisting of enthusiastic owo, deep throat, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and two facials. Thoroughly unsatisfactory, perfunctory, ugly, really ugly.

So I’ve spunked the price of very nice telly on 4 hours spent in the company of 6 girls, none of which I really fancied, shot 7 loads and feel shit.

I've had a long, hot shower to try and wash away the feeling of self loathing. Writing this has helped too, thanks for reading.

Is it normal to feel this bad when you’ve over indulged in a hobby your supposed to derive pleasure from?

Yes I've been through good times and bad times with this. After great punts I felt fantastic about myself that I wanted more of it. After poor, underwhelming punts I wondered what was the point of this and how much money I had wasted. Also after several weeks of being pissed about by a popular WG over a 2hr meet I wanted and where I put a lot of thought into, just made me think what a waste of time trying to organise and think about what to do in a punt is, as the WG is not really interested in seeing you, but mucking you about. Investing yourself into this hobby and not getting much in return (apart from getting horrible abuse from the WG at the end when you have highlighted just how she messed you about), takes away the fun, enjoyable element of this hobby.

slow and low

  • Guest
Thanks S&B, will take a break and come back fully re-charged after the holidays
Having a break at minute as well tbh bit disillusioned with punting real struggle to find anyone new or interesting.  Got other areas of life want to spend time and money on and hope the break reignites my fading interest.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Two weeks into abstinence, the shaking stopped after week one, feeling ok, but desperate for a punt, going to hold off until next week, frantic research between now and then, the poor girl or girls will need to be made of strong stuff, when it goes off it's going to like Vesuvius.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Back in the game after my self imposed layoff - seen 2 duos from External Link/Members Only Annabel & Nicola and Elizabeth & Louise - chose the agency because the girls are part timers and all speak good English, all delivered great service, will review soon.

Offline Fully Sated

Welcome 'back'! I really like the look of Annabelle, looking forward to your reviews again.

Offline Wilson85

I understand exactly what you are on about. Plenty times I've walked away from a punt thinking I mustn't do that again. The very next week I'm up to no good again.

A break helps, I've got a new regular wg now which seems to regulate the punts to once a month. As opposed to weekly bad punts chasing a good experience.


Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Welcome 'back'! I really like the look of Annabelle, looking forward to your reviews again.

Thanks pal, she is young, Welsh and a size 11 with a pretty face and big tits'n'arse....
« Last Edit: April 05, 2016, 05:24:17 pm by Yeboahsleftfoot »

vw

  • Guest
Thanks pal, she is young, Welsh and a size 11 with a pretty face and big tits'n'arse....

Shoes ?

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Shoes ?

Cheeky boy VW - she's just bigger than a 10, not quite a 12 - was trying to be accurate, had she had size 11 shoes there would likely have been large hands and an Adams apple and I would've walked   :P

Offline Marmalade

Short term addictions are fine as they help you know your limitations. For punting, it's quite nice to do it abroad where the fanny is cheap as chips and lined up readily available. Just as fuck as one can manage and if there's a shit one pop a blue pill and do another couple. It gets to the point for me that time is more valuable that fucking prostitutes (which are to real people a bit like pot noodles are to real food).

The self-obsessive streak much as it seems to arouse 'sympathy' from others is not a good sign in my opinion. Just feeds the obsessive nature.