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Author Topic: Punting when wife terminally ill  (Read 2953 times)

Offline syfodas

Chronic kidney disease having dialysis 3 times a week and is waiting for a transplant, anyone been in a similar situation and still managed to punt and not feel guilty

Offline lillythesavage

Chronic kidney disease having dialysis 3 times a week and is waiting for a transplant, anyone been in a similar situation and still managed to punt and not feel guilty


Only you can deal with that situation, everyone is different  :unknown:

Offline Hobbit

So here's my logic....

The fact that you are asking this question means that you have contemplated it a few times and are very tempted by the idea. This means that you are halfway there already.

By coming on here and asking for validation or consent is kind of pointless as the decision is completely yours based on your personal circumstances.

I presume you have already tried wanking, vibrators, and blowup dolls and they are not satisfying you. If not, I would recommend trying those first and see how you get on.

One thing I will say is that, if you haven't punted before then I would not recommend it to anyone. Simply because it is highly addictive and once you start you can't stop. Imagine being trapped in a box of Pringles for the rest of your life. It's that bad.

Offline king tarzan

So here's my logic....

The fact that you are asking this question means that you have contemplated it a few times and are very tempted by the idea. This means that you are halfway there already.

By coming on here and asking for validation or consent is kind of pointless as the decision is completely yours based on your personal circumstances.

I presume you have already tried wanking, vibrators, and blowup dolls and they are not satisfying you. If not, I would recommend trying those first and see how you get on.

One thing I will say is that, if you haven't punted before then I would not recommend it to anyone. Simply because it is highly addictive and once you start you can't stop. Imagine being trapped in a box of Pringles for the rest of your life. It's that bad.

🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊 Analysis
Banned reason: Misogynist who gets free bookings from agencies for pos reviews.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline southcoastpunter

I think that most guys with a OH (whether wife/girlfiend/partner etc) feels guilty or felt guilty at some stage and to some extent. We then try to rationalise our punting or desire to punt - not getting it at home, or not enough, or don't get a blow job etc etc. in your case you might also think about whether in the circumstances your wife would understand or not.

Its a decision only you can make. As Hobbit said - if you haven't already started, think very carefully because it is very additive.

Offline Al R

  • Posts: 526
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Firstly sorry to read about what must be a pretty awful time. As others have said only you can decide - only thing I can compare with is my OH being quite seriously ill for several months with an unsure outcome. I couldn’t even think about punting at that time - in fact I regretted ever starting.

Now she’s recovered (although not fully) the feelings of guilt have subsided and I’ve kind of started again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is consider not only the present, but how you would feel in the future should the worst happen.

Offline Bluelight85

Its a decision only you can make. As Hobbit said - if you haven't already started, think very carefully because it is very additive.

Very true, it’s only you that can make that decision. My situation is a bit different from the OP’s I felt very guilty the first time I punted, almost to the point of being sick (long before I joined here) because once again me and the other half had an unnecessary argument and had not done anything sexually for weeks, so I ended up going to a Thai SP and although I got no more than a covered blow job, guilty as I felt, as time went on I began to open up to myself and think that while I was being made miserable by her nasty moods and lack of wanting sex or anything sexual, I was missing out on things and although me and the wife still have sex occasionally there’s no “buzz” no heart beating fast excitement, it’s like she’s not interested, hence why now it’s nothing for me to go to massage parlours etc whatever kind of partner you have wife or girlfriend you will feel guilty initially but it’s ultimately up to you to justify to yourself why you punt in the first place. If you feel guilty before you’ve even done anything, don’t start.

Online LLPunting

.... Imagine being trapped in a box of Pringles for the rest of your life. It's that bad.

If it's the extra cheesy ones I'd not have a problem abstaining.  The prawn cocktail ones react with the lining of my mouth like an acid peel so being trapped would probably be lethal.

@OP Firstly much sympathy and well wishes to your wife.  To you though, you've been punting for a while, getting up to all sorts, why are you feeling guilty or seeking encouragement now?
Has she told you to seek sex elsewhere?  Perhaps abstain and write some reviews?
« Last Edit: August 17, 2022, 01:25:32 pm by LLPunting »

Offline big-al93

Was she ill when you went for the 4 hands massage that you reviewed? Did you feel guilty then?

Not trying to be a pedant but the title says wife terminally ill, but the post says waiting for a transplant, I realise that without a donor this could be terminal, but presumably that is not the prognosis as the nhs wouldn't contemplate a transplant unless there was a reasonable chance of success.

As you have been for massage before, was your sex life lacking prior to the illness? In which case there's no reason to think it would improve if she were to recover and the illness is a bit of a red herring. Are you comfortable sleeping with escorts behind your wifes back?

I realise none of this is an answer to your question, but then nobody can answer that for you anyway.

Offline syfodas

Was she ill when you went for the 4 hands massage that you reviewed? Did you feel guilty then?

Not trying to be a pedant but the title says wife terminally ill, but the post says waiting for a transplant, I realise that without a donor this could be terminal, but presumably that is not the prognosis as the nhs wouldn't contemplate a transplant unless there was a reasonable chance of success.

As you have been for massage before, was your sex life lacking prior to the illness? In which case there's no reason to think it would improve if she were to recover and the illness is a bit of a red herring. Are you comfortable sleeping with escorts behind your wifes back?

I realise none of this is an answer to your question, but then nobody can answer that for you anyway.

Offline JontyR

Chronic kidney disease having dialysis 3 times a week and is waiting for a transplant, anyone been in a similar situation and still managed to punt and not feel guilty

I'm sure she'd only feel guilty if you make her so. Fair play to her for getting out there and living whilst she can. Try and encourage her to leave reviews.

Offline newhere456

The way I reconcile this for myself goes along the lines, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I don't feel guilty punting.

If I were to seek an emotional attachment elsewhere, for example having an affair then I probably would.  Punting for me is just about the sex,  don't feel guilty about it - it is hard-wired into our brains, it's who we are. 

Enjoy, don't feel guilty about fulfilling your own needs,  just make sure nobody finds out about it (plenty of advice on here).

Offline king tarzan

I think that most guys with a OH (whether wife/girlfiend/partner etc) feels guilty or felt guilty at some stage and to some extent. We then try to rationalise our punting or desire to punt - not getting it at home, or not enough, or don't get a blow job etc etc. in your case you might also think about whether in the circumstances your wife would understand or not.

Its a decision only you can make. As Hobbit said - if you haven't already started, think very carefully because it is very additive.

And very swaadhi maazedaar 👅👅👅👅😋😋😋😋
Banned reason: Misogynist who gets free bookings from agencies for pos reviews.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline bigden40

The way I reconcile this for myself goes along the lines, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I don't feel guilty punting.

If I were to seek an emotional attachment elsewhere, for example having an affair then I probably would.  Punting for me is just about the sex,  don't feel guilty about it - it is hard-wired into our brains, it's who we are. 

Enjoy, don't feel guilty about fulfilling your own needs,  just make sure nobody finds out about it (plenty of advice on here).

My rationalisation is very similar.

Offline pantywetter

Very true, it’s only you that can make that decision. My situation is a bit different from the OP’s I felt very guilty the first time I punted, almost to the point of being sick (long before I joined here) because once again me and the other half had an unnecessary argument and had not done anything sexually for weeks, so I ended up going to a Thai SP and although I got no more than a covered blow job, guilty as I felt, as time went on I began to open up to myself and think that while I was being made miserable by her nasty moods and lack of wanting sex or anything sexual, I was missing out on things and although me and the wife still have sex occasionally there’s no “buzz” no heart beating fast excitement, it’s like she’s not interested, hence why now it’s nothing for me to go to massage parlours etc whatever kind of partner you have wife or girlfriend you will feel guilty initially but it’s ultimately up to you to justify to yourself why you punt in the first place. If you feel guilty before you’ve even done anything, don’t start.

I agree with this wall of text.

I have told all of my girlfriends that I want more sex, more exciting sex and kinkier / dirtier sex.

They never step up. 

My conscience in finding it elsewhere is therefore totally clear.

Bit different in the OPs situation, but sex is still a mental and physical need so I think I would continue to punt.

Online alabama1

Is it just me , but why has nobody picked up on the fact that the OP has been a member here 7 years, but posted only one review, yet looking through his many posts, they all follow one theme, asking about SP's. Don't want to appear heartless here, but why OP are you feeling guilty now, when for the last seven years you have been constantly asking members on here for recommendations  :unknown: Apologies if i have read this all wrong.  :hi:

Offline Punterperson1971

Is it just me , but why has nobody picked up on the fact that the OP has been a member here 7 years, but posted only one review, yet looking through his many posts, they all follow one theme, asking about SP's. Don't want to appear heartless here, but why OP are you feeling guilty now, when for the last seven years you have been constantly asking members on here for recommendations  :unknown: Apologies if i have read this all wrong.  :hi:
Great point if this is the case why feel guilty now after all this time

Offline Colston36

Is it just me , but why has nobody picked up on the fact that the OP has been a member here 7 years, but posted only one review, yet looking through his many posts, they all follow one theme, asking about SP's. Don't want to appear heartless here, but why OP are you feeling guilty now, when for the last seven years you have been constantly asking members on here for recommendations  :unknown: Apologies if i have read this all wrong.  :hi:

Good point. I actually think that in such a situation a wife might not resent you looking elsewhere.

8 years ago my partner went off sex. She spotted I was going elsewhere  and said "I don't blame you". We're still together.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2022, 06:10:02 pm by Colston36 »

Offline syfodas

Thanks for the replies I had a threesome reviewed on here before my wife was unwell, I’ve always thought about SP’s but thinking and doing are two different things, no I don’t feel guilty about that first punt it was a punt to forget now.
But the situation my wife is in now makes it seem much worse to do such a thing now, I was contemplating booking but not now.
Doesn’t mean I can’t ask and want to know what’s out there
« Last Edit: August 17, 2022, 06:46:15 pm by syfodas »

Online LLPunting

Thanks for the replies I had a threesome reviewed on here before my wife was unwell, I’ve always thought about SP’s but thinking and doing are two different things, no I don’t feel guilty about that first punt it was a punt to forget now.
But the situation my wife is in now makes it seem much worse to do such a thing now, I was contemplating booking but not now.
Doesn’t mean I can’t ask and want to know what’s out there

Your previous posts suggest you've done more than ask punters here.
It's one thing to posit stepping out on your wife (terminally ill or not) and then get on with life, it's a whole other thing to start shopping for prostitutes to the point of contacting them.
If you're genuinely conflicted about betraying your wife and vows whilst she faces the possibly imminent end why is it so much to put it out of your mind for the few months she has remaining?
If you're grieving and this questioning is some way of distracting yourself then perhaps you'd be better served talking to a grief counsellor and your wife?  :unknown:
If your wife is still dear to you then go be with her, don't hang about here.  I hope you find proper consolation from family, friends and counselling.  :hi:
Again best wishes for a good outcome for your wife.

Offline king tarzan

Your previous posts suggest you've done more than ask punters here.
It's one thing to posit stepping out on your wife (terminally ill or not) and then get on with life, it's a whole other thing to start shopping for prostitutes to the point of contacting them.
If you're genuinely conflicted about betraying your wife and vows whilst she faces the possibly imminent end why is it so much to put it out of your mind for the few months she has remaining?
If you're grieving and this questioning is some way of distracting yourself then perhaps you'd be better served talking to a grief counsellor and your wife?  :unknown:
If your wife is still dear to you then go be with her, don't hang about here.  I hope you find proper consolation from family, friends and counselling.  :hi:
Again best wishes for a good outcome for your wife.

I thought you were heartless
Banned reason: Misogynist who gets free bookings from agencies for pos reviews.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline JontyR

The only other thing, if you feel guilty about punting now just think how guilty you'd feel if your terminally ill wife found out.

Online alabama1

There are two issues here. The first one being that we are taking the claim that his wife ( if indeed he has one) is terminally ill, at face value. There is no way he can prove that. What UKP can prove though is that he has been a member here for 7 years, and in that time asking a shit load of questions/asking for advice about WG's, implying that he is/was a very active punter, but with a paltry single review in all of those years. If it was not for him mentioning his 'terminally ill wife' we would all be slagging him off for being a leach.

Offline Stevelondon

I'm sure she'd only feel guilty if you make her so. Fair play to her for getting out there and living whilst she can. Try and encourage her to leave reviews.

Very Jimmy Carr,
I’m surprised no one has noticed.

Offline contentguy

There are two issues here. The first one being that we are taking the claim that his wife ( if indeed he has one) is terminally ill, at face value. There is no way he can prove that. What UKP can prove though is that he has been a member here for 7 years, and in that time asking a shit load of questions/asking for advice about WG's, implying that he is/was a very active punter, but with a paltry single review in all of those years. If it was not for him mentioning his 'terminally ill wife' we would all be slagging him off for being a leach.


Well put!

Offline Tender.french.kiss

Imagine being trapped in a box of Pringles for the rest of your life. It's that bad.
Personally I would have compared it with being trapped in a bag of Skittles  :D
Hidden Image/Members Only

More seriously, it's a tough one. Guess everyone's different. With you having a review 3 years old, looks like you had already started punting before this starts to reach a terminal stage.
Some can still love there partner yet need some physical needs met.
Others can no longer have feelings with their partner and therefore looks for not just physical gratification but also some kind of intimacy on top.
There are various kind of punting reasons. Hard to know which one is yours.
I guess one of the key question to ask yourself is, why is that making you feel guilty NOW. Ask yourself, you're the only one who can answer. If the worst was to happen, how would that make you feel if you continued. Is the urge so strong you cannot put it on hold to alleviate your dilemma for a while ...
« Last Edit: August 17, 2022, 09:52:22 pm by Tender.french.kiss »

Offline Clungeplunger94

Chronic kidney disease having dialysis 3 times a week and is waiting for a transplant, anyone been in a similar situation and still managed to punt and not feel guilty

Ya sick fuck
Banned reason: Racist twat
Banned by: Kev40ish


Offline sparkus

Says the racist!

More inclined to think serial wind-up merchant/troll.

OP, sorry to hear of this but as others have said, you have punted for some time now.  I think whatever enables you to manage your own self care and respite is par for the course given those circumstances.

Offline Fathom

As others have said, only you know what you feel like you can cope with doing. I will offer my experience. I have been there and done that (albeit not terminal, but serious), and it consumed me. Hence I took a break for a year. But that’s not to say you would feel the same, or the way I felt is the right way to feel. Whatever you decide OP, I hope you make a decision that caters for your needs and own well-being, but I also wish your wife well and such.

Offline contentguy

More inclined to think serial wind-up merchant/troll.


Perhaps, but academic anyway.