The rise of GFE

[nilbymouth]

It fucking amazes me to listen to the broken hearted crys on mumsn£t about they caught their bloke on here or AW.
Looking at the rise of punting and the explosion of punters wanting dfk or gfe services, makes me wonder how many wayward husbands are paying service providers to act like their wife used to.

[daviemac]

Why do you care.   

[nilbymouth]

Why do you care.   

Tbh not sure i do

[daviemac]

Tbh not sure i do

You must, you've started a thread on it.      Though I'm not sure how it could be quantified. 

[jesse4585]

A most interesting topic!

Like daviemac says it's difficult to quantify, and I'm not sure it's been directly investigated by social scientists, but they have began exploring some related phenomena.

For example - the declining frequency of civvy sex.  Very roughly,  over the last 30 years or so, there seems to have been a decline of about 10% in the frequency with which people have sex.  The exact estimates will vary depending on which age groups, and which part of the world we're talking about. If one googles "sex recession"  there are lots of articles on this,  and then if you're a number geek you can move on to the scientific papers.

The civvy sex decline seems to track the emergence of the GFE.  Maybe others will correct me, but I don't recall GFE being advertised in the early 90s. I'm sure some WGs gave a GFE like service before the abbreviation came into use, but I also suspect that before the mid 90s most punting was more P&D style. Even in the late 90s I recall that FK was very rare, at least at the Parlours I used to visit back then.  I first noticed it (in classified paper & news shop window display card adds) around the mid 90s.  It's a shame  it's not a tick-able box in AW as that would make it easier to search for.  Still,  it seems reasonable to guess that at least close to half of SPs now provide a GFE type service  (at least by some definitions of the term.)

Some may be interested in speculation on what forces are driving these changes.

1) The decline of traditional christian values.  To over simplify a little,  there used to be an idea that it was a mans duty to materially provide for his wife, while it was a woman's duty to emotionally care for her husband, and this included providing him with sex, even at times when she wasn't really in the mood for it.

2) The increasing influence of porn due to its availability on the internet.

3) The rise of  'Consent' based ideology.   This has to be in many ways a good thing.  While some women enjoy being sexually "conquered" by a dominant man, for others feeling they are being forced into sex is traumatic, and can even cause life long after effects such a nightmare, fear of being alone etc.  But it is likely all the talk about Consent is making good civvy sex less frequent. Even some feminists have complained it's been going too far.

4) The rise of transnational based mentality at the expense of relational values.  This is maybe the most important driver in my view, though it's quite hard to talk about.

That said,  don't want to be too negative. Transnational thinking will never totally defeat Love.  There's still lots of women out there who can be good partners, either by naturally having a strong & consistent sex drive,  or by having an old fashioned  sense of duty & being  naturally affectionate, caring & giving.   And there's still some men who prefer to be faithful.

[Clitheroelad]

Its a fact of life that once you get a ring on a womans finger all the fun and frolics stop. When you get into double figures of married blish youre lucky to get a glimpse of what was once easy access. Theres an old song by 80's beat combo Marillion when Haddock was the lead singer called 'Punch and Judy' which sums it up nicely. 

[nilbymouth]

Its a fact of life that once you get a ring on a womans finger all the fun and frolics stop. When you get into double figures of married blish youre lucky to get a glimpse of what was once easy access. Theres an old song by 80's beat combo Marillion when Haddock was the lead singer called 'Punch and Judy' which sums it up nicely. 

80s beat combo?

[nilbymouth]

I suppose my point was (if there was one) was that woman are not just selling the physical act but the emotional one as well.

[Waterhouse]

Its a fact of life that once you get a ring on a womans finger all the fun and frolics stop. When you get into double figures of married blish youre lucky to get a glimpse of what was once easy access. Theres an old song by 80's beat combo Marillion when Haddock was the lead singer called 'Punch and Judy' which sums it up nicely. 

Very, very apt.   

Washing machine, pinstripe dream
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Found our nest, in the Daily Express
Met the vicar in a holy vest
Brought up the children Church of E
Now I vegetate with a colour TV
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy
Whatever happened to pillow fights
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights
Whatever happened to lover's lane
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain
Curling tongs, mogadons
"I got a headache baby, don't take so long"
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the Waistlands spread
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size
Propping up a bar, family car
Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
World war three, suburbanshee
Just slip her these pills and I'll be free
No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more
Goodbye Judy

[Bogof60]

Haddock
Never heard him called that before 

[nilbymouth]

Very, very apt.   

Washing machine, pinstripe dream
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Found our nest, in the Daily Express
Met the vicar in a holy vest
Brought up the children Church of E
Now I vegetate with a colour TV
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy
Whatever happened to pillow fights
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights
Whatever happened to lover's lane
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain
Curling tongs, mogadons
"I got a headache baby, don't take so long"
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the Waistlands spread
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size
Propping up a bar, family car
Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
World war three, suburbanshee
Just slip her these pills and I'll be free
No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more
Goodbye Judy

Fucking hell I'm going to sue Marillion for using my life story without concent

[Jonestown]

Its a fact of life that once you get a ring on a womans finger all the fun and frolics stop.

Sorry, that's largely irrelevant, if you are a dyed in the wool punter you have an insatiable thirst for new / strange pussy, that is the driver, it makes no difference if you are have DFK/OWO etc available on demand at home, you would still be out on the prowl.

[Cupid Stuntz]

Its a fact of life that once you get a ring on a womans finger all the fun and frolics stop. When you get into double figures of married blish youre lucky to get a glimpse of what was once easy access. Theres an old song by 80's beat combo Marillion when Haddock was the lead singer called 'Punch and Judy' which sums it up nicely. 

"Haddock", love it  although they were / are Prog Rock band rather than a 'beat combo".

Just as well he's a big bloke too with a real name like Derek Dick.

"This world is totally Fugazi".

[Bogof60]

Fucking hell I'm going to sue Marillion for using my life story without concent

Life story of many of my friends late 70's early 80's

" From the dole queue to The Regiment
A Profession in a flash
But remember Monday signings
When from door to door you dash

On the news The Nation mourns you
An old soldier counts the cost
For second you'll be famous
But labelled postumus"

Forgotten Sons

Thanks Goldfish

[smiths]

Sorry, that's largely irrelevant, if you are a dyed in the wool punter you have an insatiable thirst for new / strange pussy, that is the driver, it makes no difference if you are have DFK/OWO etc available on demand at home, you would still be out on the prowl.

That's normally been true in my case, the only time I haven't felt like new pussy is during the initial honeymoon period of a relationship and in more recent years when I wanted a break from punting. 1 woman doesn't cut the mustard for me for long.

[Bogof60]

And the relevance to Punting

"One night you play Elizabeth Taylor.
The next night you're Marylin Monroe
Forever kissing Frogs who think they're Princes
Oh Lady Nina Where did all the romance go

Lady Nina
Once again from Seabass

[mradventures]

its probably due to the rise in lonelyness too

[Misspleasecumsqueeze]

It is not rocket science. Those women on Mumsnet, need to take a look at themselves first and foremost. Are they guilty, of not giving their man the attention and intimacy that he craves, most probably. While there are no guarantees, if she does that this will stop him straying, but in majority of the cases, suspect it would.
Many attached men will accept their lot and will not act on their impulses to seek that from elsewhere. A few, might act on it, all be it with civvies or escorts (Hence the seeking out of the GFE) Some, guys, just enjoy the lure of a new pussy end of, when nothing is lacking in their relationship.
For any guy who is playing away from home, ultimately, his prime concern is not getting caught.

[Cervixbanger]

It is not rocket science. Those women on Mumsnet, need to take a look at themselves first and foremost. Are they guilty, of not giving their man the attention and intimacy that he craves, most probably. While there are no guarantees, if she does that this will stop him straying, but in majority of the cases, suspect it would.
Many attached men will accept their lot and will not act on their impulses to seek that from elsewhere. A few, might act on it, all be it with civvies or escorts (Hence the seeking out of the GFE) Some, guys, just enjoy the lure of a new pussy end of, when nothing is lacking in their relationship.
For any guy who is playing away from home, ultimately, his prime concern is not getting caught.

I couldn't agree more. Just as I wouldn't go on a regular holiday to the same hotel/resort, I like variety in everything whether that's trying new craft beers or pussy! I do have a happy home life and get it regularly (if not quite as often as I would choose myself) but I find I still need the variety more than the quantity. I can honestly say that if Mrs CB said "I think we should start going to the local swingers club once a month", then I'd stop punting and visiting massage shops without a second thought.

[Jonestown]

It is not rocket science. Those women on Mumsnet, need to take a look at themselves first and foremost. Are they guilty, of not giving their man the attention and intimacy that he craves, most probably. While there are no guarantees, if she does that this will stop him straying, but in majority of the cases, suspect it would.

Interesting first post, but where oh where have we heard this sentiment (now deleted) only just recently ?

[Hobbit]

That's normally been true in my case, the only time I haven't felt like new pussy is during the initial honeymoon period of a relationship and in more recent years when I wanted a break from punting. 1 woman doesn't cut the mustard for me for long.

That is very true. In my younger days, one woman was enough but now I get bored so quickly, especially if they show less enthusiasm then I'm out and looking for a new model. Maybe it's a thirst that cannot be quenched?

[LLPunting]

I couldn't agree more. Just as I wouldn't go on a regular holiday to the same hotel/resort, I like variety in everything whether that's trying new craft beers or pussy! I do have a happy home life and get it regularly (if not quite as often as I would choose myself) but I find I still need the variety more than the quantity. I can honestly say that if Mrs CB said "I think we should start going to the local swingers club once a month", then I'd stop punting and visiting massage shops without a second thought.

Have you had the frank discussion about sexual appetites to see what she would be up for and how well that would meet both your needs or did she make some declaration or value statement that you know is immovable?

I usually punt only when single and when a GF makes it clear she's not going to commit or isn't as sexually compatible then I will begin to extricate myself from the relationship, sex with her will drop off and I'll start looking at others.  Guess I've been (un)lucky enough to not get to kids and financial bondage when love fades or incompatibility evolves. 
It's still a minority (perhaps only just) of guys who are pathologically fucking strange (not just SPs) when there's a missus at home but the shifting beliefs to the disposability of relationships, the impermanence of marriage, body consciousness for all and, yes, the emancipation of women has only encouraged punting as the less stressful way to satiate a need for sexual gratification.  IF we ever get past the religious dogma and women are truly equal in their rights and freedom to behave without condemnation then it will be interesting to see how many women will be seeking sex-workers.

GFE is a marketing gimmick preying on the frustration from the dating scene and incompatible relationships.  The expressing/feigning of emotional indulgence as well as sexual release has been offered by SPs throughout the ages, whether as "courtesans", mistresses, seductive SPs, happy hookers, horny harlots, wanton wenches or saucy slappers.

Do any veteran P&Ders gain any "emotional" satisfaction (lust, hate, whatever) from their (brief) encounters or are they all just biochemical highs from orgasm?
P&D, whether served by SP or hookup, is arguably on the rise but this

[Hobbit]

Do any veteran P&Ders gain any "emotional" satisfaction (lust, hate, whatever) from their (brief) encounters or are they all just biochemical highs from orgasm?
P&D, whether served by SP or hookup, is arguably on the rise but this

Absolutely correct. There's no emotional satisfaction. It's just a combination of lust and a need for orgasmic release. Anyone buying into this GFE malarkey is deluded. 

[Plan R]

It fucking amazes me to listen to the broken hearted crys on mumsn£t about they caught their bloke on here or AW.
Looking at the rise of punting and the explosion of punters wanting dfk or gfe services, makes me wonder how many wayward husbands are paying service providers to act like their wife used to.

That's a reasonable observation.
Many men (I've been there) in LTRs are lucky to get a sympathy wank every other Christmas.
I refuse to ever again be made involuntarily celibate by a menopausal mustachioed walrus ...
 

Punting keeps a lot of men sane   

[LLPunting]

...
P&D, whether served by SP or hookup, is arguably on the rise but this

Ignore this, thought I deleted it and missed the edit window.

[Likesvariety]

There is an old saying that in the first year of marriage if put a penny in a jar every time you have sex with your wif eand if all subsequent years you take a penny out every time you have sex with your wife, then the jar will never be empty.

That is why there is a market for the GFE.

[LLPunting]

Just an interesting counter-point. External Link/Members Only
Also, I think I'm going to give up punting and become a BFE SP!    

[king tarzan]

I'm getting to know this wonderful beautiful lady..
Obviously she would be devastated if she ever knew that I frequented escorts...
The lady thinks the world of me..
GFE obviously needs an emotional attachment..
The GFE from escorts is obviously fake.. like wearing a fake Rolex..
The GFE attachment emotional attachment to your wife/girlfriend obviously is the real Rolex..

[jesse4585]

I'm getting to know this wonderful beautiful lady..
Obviously she would be devastated if she ever knew that I frequented escorts...
The lady thinks the world of me..
GFE obviously needs an emotional attachment..
The GFE from escorts is obviously fake.. like wearing a fake Rolex..
The GFE attachment emotional attachment to your wife/girlfriend obviously is the real Rolex..

Sounds like you might have met your Jane.  Would be quite a loss if we lose you to civvy land. At least we'll always have your hundreds of reviews for some yabba-daba-DOOOO!!!! goodness.   

[Home Alone]

I'm getting to know this wonderful beautiful lady..
Obviously she would be devastated if she ever knew that I frequented escorts...
The lady thinks the world of me..
GFE obviously needs an emotional attachment..
The GFE from escorts is obviously fake.. like wearing a fake Rolex..
The GFE attachment emotional attachment to your wife/girlfriend obviously is the real Rolex..

Interesting use of the past tense, there, kt. Are you teasing us by hinting that your punting career is going to become history as you pursue 'the real Rolex'?

[Global_Punter]

@nilbymouth You have posted a valid question, I'm not sure why some have considered it irrelevant - I work with a 60 + year old colleague that paid an Escort €1000 + a day just to keep him company ie go shopping, naturalist sauna and restaurant etc when I questioned his decision he said explained that his wife wasn't doing it for him anymore - he definitely still loves her BUTT the sagging tits, lack of sexual exploration is not doing it for him anymore.

Most folks will consider it a waste of money - considering he didn't even have sex with her on one occasion, BUTT he was fulfilled.

[king tarzan]

Interesting use of the past tense, there, kt. Are you teasing us by hinting that your punting career is going to become history as you pursue 'the real Rolex'?

As I say this hobby of mine would devastate and break this beautiful wonderful lady's heart..

Would never find out.. a man needs variety ..
The delicious yummy mango gellato desserts will obviously continue...
The emotional intimacy will continue in the personal relationship..


Two separate entities.. simpletto..

[Hobbit]

As I say this hobby of mine would devastate and break this beautiful wonderful lady's heart..

Would never find out.. a man needs variety ..
The delicious yummy mango gellato desserts will obviously continue...
The emotional intimacy will continue in the personal relationship..


Two separate entities.. simpletto..

Precisely. There are women that you would marry and there are women that you would fuck. Both are mutually exclusive. 

[king tarzan]

Precisely. There are women that you would marry and there are women that you would fuck. Both are mutually exclusive. 

👏👍

[Jonestown]

Two separate entities.. simpletto..

Therein lays many many heartaches , it's easier said than done, especially when one is such an enthusiastic artiste.

[Home Alone]

As I say this hobby of mine would devastate and break this beautiful wonderful lady's heart..

Would never find out.. a man needs variety ..
The delicious yummy mango gellato desserts will obviously continue...
The emotional intimacy will continue in the personal relationship..


Two separate entities.. simpletto..

But predicated on the hope that she never finds out. 🤞

As I've observed on here before, I didn't start punting till nearly two years after the OH had pissed off with 'my successor' as I referred to him. One reason for that was that I'm such a poor liar - or is it that women are so good at sniffing out the truth that we give ourselves away?🤔

Hope you don't end up with the 'fake Rolex', kt!

[Bonker]

Tarzan or Cheetah? 

[Waterhouse]

Tarzan or Cheetah? 

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Plan R]

"courtesans", mistresses, seductive SPs, happy hookers, horny harlots, wanton wenches or saucy slappers.

Here's hoping the above don't get added to the list of verboten terms 

[LLPunting]

I'm getting to know this wonderful beautiful lady..
Obviously she would be devastated if she ever knew that I frequented escorts...
The lady thinks the world of me..
GFE obviously needs an emotional attachment..
The GFE from escorts is obviously fake.. like wearing a fake Rolex..
The GFE attachment emotional attachment to your wife/girlfriend obviously is the real Rolex..

As I say this hobby of mine would devastate and break this beautiful wonderful lady's heart..

Would never find out.. a man needs variety ..
The delicious yummy mango gellato desserts will obviously continue...
The emotional intimacy will continue in the personal relationship..


Two separate entities.. simpletto..

So you're going to deceive this "wonderful" woman and keep fucking around anyway...

No emotional attachment to her then?

[LLPunting]

Therein lays many many heartaches , it's easier said than done, especially when one is such an enthusiastic artiste.

If he can lie to his lover he can probably lie to everyone (here) including himself.

[Colston36]

That's a reasonable observation.
Many men (I've been there) in LTRs are lucky to get a sympathy wank every other Christmas.
I refuse to ever again be made involuntarily celibate by a menopausal mustachioed walrus ...
 

Punting keeps a lot of men sane   

Top marks for menopausal mustachioed walrus ...

[Colston36]

@nilbymouth You have posted a valid question, I'm not sure why some have considered it irrelevant - I work with a 60 + year old colleague that paid an Escort €1000 + a day just to keep him company ie go shopping, naturalist sauna and restaurant etc when I questioned his decision he said explained that his wife wasn't doing it for him anymore - he definitely still loves her BUTT the sagging tits, lack of sexual exploration is not doing it for him anymore.

Most folks will consider it a waste of money - considering he didn't even have sex with her on one occasion, BUTT he was fulfilled.

Strange what lack of pussy at home will do to a man's brains ...

I am friends with a wg who has taken over £1 million off one 73 year old, who was utterly demented about her ... and still seems to be. She introduced him to all sorts of perverse practices he'd never dreamt of before. 

I myself pissed away quite a few grand on a cunning dominatrix in 2014.  No complaints - did things with her and her friends I'd never dreamt of.

[king tarzan]

So you're going to deceive this "wonderful" woman and keep fucking around anyway...

No emotional attachment to her then?

A man needs fresh variety from time to time..
After all we are men, we are naturally designed that way..

[django0700]

Sorry, that's largely irrelevant, if you are a dyed in the wool punter you have an insatiable thirst for new / strange pussy, that is the driver, it makes no difference if you are have DFK/OWO etc available on demand at home, you would still be out on the prowl.

Agreed. Some ( myself included) just enjoy the thrill of exploring and fucking a variety of pussy.

[king tarzan]

Agreed. Some ( myself included) just enjoy the thrill of exploring and fucking a variety of pussy.

Yum yum double yum yum 👅👅👅👅👅😋😋😋😋

Variety makes perfect..👏👏👍👍

[PatMacGroin]

Just an interesting counter-point. External Link/Members Only
Also, I think I'm going to give up punting and become a BFE SP!    

Interesting article. Although the majority of women interviewed seemed to be gay or bi. They also appeared to focus on domination/S&M experiences. It only included one sample story of an apparently straight woman using a male P for straight sex and a BFE.

[MissWolf]

So a secondary part to the original question, for all you married guys playing away from home with us lovely SP's

What went south first in regard to sex at home?

Is it frequency,  oral, enthusiasm,  initiation,  intimacy, experimentation........

In my experience talking to clients they tend to say it's always the oral that goes first followed by the frequency.

It interests me as a divorced woman who was the one with the high sex drive 

[tynetunnel]

All of it 

[Formicahunt]

I always wonder if men who accuse their wives of disinterest ever consider their own performance. Is she frigid or is the man just a poor swordsman?