seeking.com - Open Topic

[southcoastpunter]

Flawed logic. You can't build a connection with someone you aren't in constant contact with so ... considering that's physically impossible unless you're literally stalking her lol, how else are you supposed to do it? 

err- because you chat a bit using the SA system first !

[Chris1990mcr]

Anyone met

External Link/Members Only

Citygirl69


Also I had a few months off - £150/£200 was normal for a couple of hours. I thought it was good value, more laid back than escorts felt more real etc but was essentially 2/3 hours of fun for the price of one with an escort. £300 for a scorcher now and again.

Theres loads wanting £500 just for a quick meet. I know bills are up and whatever else, I thought a little recession might lead a few more girls to be on there but this is a challenge.

[Hobbit]

Flawed logic. You can't build a connection with someone you aren't in constant contact with so ... considering that's physically impossible unless you're literally stalking her lol, how else are you supposed to do it? 

Exactly. All of this connection bullshit that girls and punters talk about is nothing but rubbish, to put it mildly. All of these girls just want easy money and they certainly don't want to build a connection. Think about it logically, building a connection requires time, honesty, exclusiveness, compatibility, and selflessness.

Most of these girls don't have any of those attributes in mind. They are nothing but the product of an entitled society that is being fuelled by social media and TV. Any punter that believes that it is about building a connection is deluded.

[versace]

Exactly. All of this connection bullshit that girls and punters talk about is nothing but rubbish, to put it mildly. All of these girls just want easy money and they certainly don't want to build a connection. Think about it logically, building a connection requires time, honesty, exclusiveness, compatibility, and selflessness.

Most of these girls don't have any of those attributes in mind. They are nothing but the product of an entitled society that is being fuelled by social media and TV. Any punter that believes that it is about building a connection is deluded.

+1

[southcoastpunter]

All of this connection bullshit that girls and punters talk about is nothing but rubbish, to put it mildly. All of these girls just want easy money and they certainly don't want to build a connection.

 Any punter that believes that it is about building a connection is deluded.

that may be your opinion and your experience but it doesn't make it FACT.  It certainly is not my experience. i agree that some, perhaps many and maybe nowdays even most ladies on SA might be like this BUT NOT ALL. I only go for those that want a LT arrangement and to do things together (yes including sex but its not just about sex). I have been on a 2 weeks holiday (2 years ago) with one and a week's holiday with a different one this year. You need a "connection" of some sort for that. if your relationship is only about money and sex then a week is a long time.

I have just had to find a new SB and had several online chats (including 2 video chats) and then 2 M&G type meetings before we made an arrangement. She "shortlisted (for want of a better word) 3 guys of which i was one and decided on me because she said we had a better "connection" even though my allowance offer was the lowest.

So i beg to differ from your sweeping statement about ladies and guys on SA. (maybe its because i don't consider seeking as "punting")

[NightKid]

err- because you chat a bit using the SA system first !

And what if I cba using their system? Even during the rare times I happen to be subbed, I hardly check my inbox as it is since everything can be done more efficiently on WA which is exactly why I use it so what's your point?

[Hobbit]

that may be your opinion and your experience but it doesn't make it FACT.  It certainly is not my experience. i agree that some, perhaps many and maybe nowdays even most ladies on SA might be like this BUT NOT ALL. I only go for those that want a LT arrangement and to do things together (yes including sex but its not just about sex). I have been on a 2 weeks holiday (2 years ago) with one and a week's holiday with a different one this year. You need a "connection" of some sort for that. if your relationship is only about money and sex then a week is a long time.

I have just had to find a new SB and had several online chats (including 2 video chats) and then 2 M&G type meetings before we made an arrangement. She "shortlisted (for want of a better word) 3 guys of which i was one and decided on me because she said we had a better "connection" even though my allowance offer was the lowest.

So i beg to differ from your sweeping statement about ladies and guys on SA. (maybe its because i don't consider seeking as "punting")

First of all, I didn’t say ALL girls! I said MOST girls. So it’s not a sweeping statement, it’s a statement based on over six years of experience with SA girls.

Secondly, what you are describing I would not call a connection. It is an arrangement based on common interests founded on a financial base.

Once that base disappears then so does the connection. Therefore in my opinion, it’s not a connection. It’s an arrangement. That’s why I said anyone that thinks otherwise is deluded.

[southcoastpunter]

again that is your opinion which you are entitled to but again i differ in my opinion. I have had one lady that offered to continue to see me for nothing when i ended the arrangement (because she thought we had a genuine "connection") and another who moved abroad with her job - we still talk regularly and i have been to see her a couple of times and when she is back in the uk we meet up - all without any financial allowance or ppm etc.  so we have something - call it a connection or a click or genuine friendship or whatever but it is far more than a financial arrangement as there isn't one (now).

and btw you said "all of these girls ...."

As i said, i agree that a lot of ladies are like you said but its the "all of these girls" and the " Any punter that believes that it is about building a connection is deluded" that i disagree with. maybe i would agree with the latter if a guys goes onto SA thinking, acting and wanting to be a "punter" - but i don't !

[southcoastpunter]

And what if I cba using their system? Even during the rare times I happen to be subbed, I hardly check my inbox as it is since everything can be done more efficiently on WA which is exactly why I use it so what's your point?

the point was .....no i cba to answer you!

You and Hobbit have your way of using SA, I have mine. I am happy with my results and what i get from it. I will leave you and him to your ways and hope that you are happy with what you get from it!

[NightKid]

the point was .....no i cba to answer you!

The point was that you had none and talked out your arse as usual 

In this case the various reasons for moving someone onto WA, of which there are plenty legit

[southcoastpunter]

The point was that you had none and talked out your arse as usual 

you are a bright one to talk! I think you spout crap most of the time

In this case the various reasons for moving someone onto WA, of which there are plenty legit

if you look again, i didn't doubt that - within reason i do the same. It was about those ladies that didn't want to do that straight away!

But if you want to have the last word go ahead cos i ain't going to reply again to someone like you!

[datwabbit]

First of all, I didn’t say ALL girls! I said MOST girls. So it’s not a sweeping statement, it’s a statement based on over six years of experience with SA girls.

Secondly, what you are describing I would not call a connection. It is an arrangement based on common interests founded on a financial base.

Once that base disappears then so does the connection. Therefore in my opinion, it’s not a connection. It’s an arrangement. That’s why I said anyone that thinks otherwise is deluded.

Stop the financial support by saying you're having a few problems yourself and see how long she waits.

[datwabbit]

Must admit, I've lost a few during conversation on SA because I've been told I'm too blunt. I'm not saying that I want sex because it would get me banned but I say nights in and explain what I am expecting from the arrangement. They either want me to chat more before we discuss that or state that I'll buy treats and money before we consider what I want. Given they can choose to not reply while my subscription clock counts down I've become blunt. Plus my region doesn't have a lot of options.

[datwabbit]

The one's where I've had a great connection early on have turned out to be scammers or just interesting in chatting.

The one's who are slightly distant are the one's who'll meet you and have an arrangement.

[NightKid]

you are a bright one to talk! I think you spout crap most of the time

I couldn't care less what a known fluffy thinks    All that matters to me is making sure no one falls for your bullshit wherever you parrot it so in that regard my job here is done.

What’s everyone’s thoughts on if you message someone on SA, but they want to “get to know you better” before giving you her number? Similarly, if you’re already texting them, wanting to get to know you better before meeting.

To me, it seems like a stalling tactic, and it probably means it won’t happen, but I just want to know if anyone else has had success.

You've already sort of sensed it yourself, yes it could vary depending on enthusiasm levels from the girl (hence why I always advice using/developing your own instincts to judge) but that is indeed a stalling tactic nonetheless and far more likely than not the conversation will burn out or die from this point onward so it's up to you to decide whether you wish to entertain her and waste your time further or otherwise.

[Hobbit]

that may be your opinion and your experience but it doesn't make it FACT.  It certainly is not my experience. i agree that some, perhaps many and maybe nowdays even most ladies on SA might be like this BUT NOT ALL. I only go for those that want a LT arrangement and to do things together (yes including sex but its not just about sex). I have been on a 2 weeks holiday (2 years ago) with one and a week's holiday with a different one this year. You need a "connection" of some sort for that. if your relationship is only about money and sex then a week is a long time.

I have just had to find a new SB and had several online chats (including 2 video chats) and then 2 M&G type meetings before we made an arrangement. She "shortlisted (for want of a better word) 3 guys of which i was one and decided on me because she said we had a better "connection" even though my allowance offer was the lowest.

So i beg to differ from your sweeping statement about ladies and guys on SA. (maybe its because i don't consider seeking as "punting")

My bad - I did say all of these girls but I meant most, anything around 95% upwards. There is a minority that you talk about that do want a connection but they are hard to find and far and few between.

These girls are just in it for the money and they are also deluded because they don't like calling themselves hookers when clearly they are because as soon as you start selling sex for money, then you are a hooker. The reason why they use the word connection and want to get to know each other more is so that they can convince themselves that this is not transactional.

[bigden40]

There are lots of different types of fishies in the SA ocean, what you catch depends on the bait that you use.

[Chris1990mcr]

To have success on Seeking you can never refer to sex for money as it makes them feel cheap. Its exactly whats happening but it can't be as transactional as an escort encounter.

[Hobbit]

To have success on Seeking you can never refer to sex for money as it makes them feel cheap. Its exactly whats happening but it can't be as transactional as an escort encounter.

No. It doesn't make them feel cheap. It reminds them that they are a prostitute and they don't like to think of themselves as one.

[Hobbit]

I will give you an example. If I was an SA girl on Seeking looking for an arrangement that was based on a connection then I would be basically saying to the guy, "I would not be having sex with you until I'm ready and we have built a connection but in the meantime I'm happy to go out with you on dates and you don't have to pay me, you can just pay for the food, drinks et cetera."

"Or, we can go out on dates and I will charge you £100 per date, and then when we have built a connection we can then have sex and you can pay me more."

So if I was a SA girl this is a tactic that I would use. This would imply that you are looking for an arrangement based on a connection, good company, and sex. Which to me is fairly reasonable and acceptable.

However, this is not the case! These girls are not giving this option. Maybe a small minority maybe but most of them are wanting £200+ for platonic dates which can go one for several months with no indication of any kind of intimacy.

They think we are gullible and they know we think with our dicks, so many of us fall for this ploy.

[datwabbit]

I will give you an example. If I was an SA girl on Seeking looking for an arrangement that was based on a connection then I would be basically saying to the guy, "I would not be having sex with you until I'm ready and we have built a connection but in the meantime I'm happy to go out with you on dates and you don't have to pay me, you can just pay for the food, drinks et cetera."

"Or, we can go out on dates and I will charge you £100 per date, and then when we have built a connection we can then have sex and you can pay me more."

Exactly.

Also a connection takes time so she could take a lower figure throughout the arrangement because she likes his company and wants it to last.

Connections are like unique soul mates - there's plenty of them about.

[Hobbit]

Exactly.

Also a connection takes time so she could take a lower figure throughout the arrangement because she likes his company and wants it to last.

Connections are like unique soul mates - there's plenty of them about.

Precisely. But these girls have hooker mentality and actually, they are the ones that think with their dicks!

[southcoastpunter]

You Mr Hobbit,  i don't generally disagree with - now that you have confirmed that you meant "most" rather than "all" SA ladies.

There is a minority that you talk about that do want a connection but they are hard to find and far and few between.

Yes definitely a minority now! More and more thesedays are just chasing the money.

I will give you an example. If I was an SA girl on Seeking looking for an arrangement that was based on a connection then I would be basically saying to the guy, "I would not be having sex with you until I'm ready and we have built a connection but in the meantime I'm happy to go out with you on dates and you don't have to pay me, you can just pay for the food, drinks et cetera."

That is exactly what i do - an initial M&G followed by a dinner date, maybe two and on one occasion three- until we are both comfortable with each other, have started to build trust and both want a similar LT arrangement that includes doing things together and not just sex meets.

Unlike that arrogant pratt Nightkid, i do not say my way is the only way or right way - it won't be for many but it works well for me and may for anyone who wants similar things from SA ladies as i do. Clearly it won't for the guys who basically just want sex with a pretty body.

[Hobbit]

You Mr Hobbit,  i don't generally disagree with - now that you have confirmed that you meant "most" rather than "all" SA ladies.

Yes definitely a minority now! More and more thesedays are just chasing the money.


That is exactly what i do - an initial M&G followed by a dinner date, maybe two and on one occasion three- until we are both comfortable with each other, have started to build trust and both want a similar LT arrangement that includes doing things together and not just sex meets.

Unlike that arrogant pratt Nightkid, i do not say my way is the only way or right way - it won't be for many but it works well for me and may for anyone who wants similar things from SA ladies as i do. Clearly it won't for the guys who basically just want sex with a pretty body.

So the question I have is how do you convince them to go out for free or low pay platonic meets? As many of them would want at least £200 for a date. Are you targeting the old and less attractive ones?

[Chris1990mcr]

This is a fucking belter today. some 50yr old oriental bird messages me.

I chat to her a bit, shes tidy for her age and TBH I would have shagged her if no one would know, but wouldn't exactly go out on a date.

Anyway she tells me she wants £500 for a few hours.    £500 fucking quid.    Unbelivable. Then, she tells me its fine and I will enjoy the fact she is a lot older than me as at least I don't have to worry about getting her up the duff so can unload as much as I want into her 


Don't get me wrong had some high quotes particularly from london ones, but this is insane for a manchester located 50yr old who is average.

[Al R]

So the question I have is how do you convince them to go out for free or low pay platonic meets? As many of them would want at least £200 for a date. Are you targeting the old and less attractive ones?

I’m seeing one now, attractive 24yo who I’ve met for a few platonic meets for free, I just pay when we meet up for sex. I don’t overdo the platonic meets, although she’s suggested a couple of them but we tend to have at least one in between the “proper” meets.


I get that’s not everyone’s cuppa tea but I’ve quite enjoyed it so far.

[Lewwy]

Exactly. All of this connection bullshit that girls and punters talk about is nothing but rubbish, to put it mildly. All of these girls just want easy money and they certainly don't want to build a connection. Think about it logically, building a connection requires time, honesty, exclusiveness, compatibility, and selflessness.

Most of these girls don't have any of those attributes in mind. They are nothing but the product of an entitled society that is being fuelled by social media and TV. Any punter that believes that it is about building a connection is deluded.

I agree with southcoastpunter that that is simply not true. I do agree that it seems much more prevalent of late though - lots of extremely entitled girls out there who are just after some easy money (yet most will give up as it's far from easy money, at least to make it regularly) who seem to start talking to you again a few days before pay day when they're about skint but need something for the inevitable weekend on the lash with their mates.

There are still a few on there who understand how it works and are on it for the right reasons. The girl I'm currently seeing is very hard working, earns decent money, is committed to her job and sees the money from me as something to make her very expensive life (because of where she has to live) a bit easier. She's not doing it to make a fortune and, as she's said more than once, if  wanted to fuck guys for money I'd be making 20 times what I do now for 20% of the hours or words to that effect. She's right, she'd make a fortune. She also gave me a lot of emotional support when I had some shit going on a while back something which someone who was only out to rinse me would not have done.

But, yes, there are a lot of timewasters, scammers and general idiots who think every guy on there is a free meal ticket and their numbers are growing. I do wonder whether sits like that should try to figure out some way of making the women on them pay as well, even if it's only a token amount. They need to find some way of reducing the numbers of these idiots though.

[Lewwy]

that may be your opinion and your experience but it doesn't make it FACT.  It certainly is not my experience. i agree that some, perhaps many and maybe nowdays even most ladies on SA might be like this BUT NOT ALL. I only go for those that want a LT arrangement and to do things together (yes including sex but its not just about sex). I have been on a 2 weeks holiday (2 years ago) with one and a week's holiday with a different one this year. You need a "connection" of some sort for that. if your relationship is only about money and sex then a week is a long time.

I have just had to find a new SB and had several online chats (including 2 video chats) and then 2 M&G type meetings before we made an arrangement. She "shortlisted (for want of a better word) 3 guys of which i was one and decided on me because she said we had a better "connection" even though my allowance offer was the lowest.

So i beg to differ from your sweeping statement about ladies and guys on SA. (maybe its because i don't consider seeking as "punting")

Sums up my opinions. And, no, it's not "punting", it's something different altogether but related, I guess.

[datwabbit]

A hot SB has just told me that I'm not for her because...

Well your a little out my age range I usually go for mutual attraction meets unless it’s some ridiculous offer

As it happens, there's no age range set on her profile so there might be a line of thought to keep it off so ridiculous offers by older men will be made. How many non replies are to do with that?

My face is hidden so the mutual attraction is not an issue.

[Lewwy]

First of all, I didn’t say ALL girls! I said MOST girls. So it’s not a sweeping statement, it’s a statement based on over six years of experience with SA girls.

Secondly, what you are describing I would not call a connection. It is an arrangement based on common interests founded on a financial base.

Once that base disappears then so does the connection. Therefore in my opinion, it’s not a connection. It’s an arrangement. That’s why I said anyone that thinks otherwise is deluded.

Again, you're wrong. I lived with a girl I met on there; we still talk; we still get on and I don't give her money. The girl I'm currently seeing never makes a big thing of the money, it's there to reduce the significant stress she's under living in a very expensive area, among other things. I'd give some specific examples of how I know that it isn't all about the money for her but these forums are publicly searchable so I'm not going to recount stories which might identify her or she might find and recognise the circumstances. It's sufficient to say though that she lives in a very well heeled area which has no shortage of very wealthy guys who'd be falling over themselves to get to her. Guys who could easily offer many, many times what I'm capable of without even missing it. It's not all about money for her, it's about feeling secure, financially and emotionally.

[Hobbit]

I agree with southcoastpunter that that is simply not true. I do agree that it seems much more prevalent of late though - lots of extremely entitled girls out there who are just after some easy money (yet most will give up as it's far from easy money, at least to make it regularly) who seem to start talking to you again a few days before pay day when they're about skint but need something for the inevitable weekend on the lash with their mates.

There are still a few on there who understand how it works and are on it for the right reasons. The girl I'm currently seeing is very hard working, earns decent money, is committed to her job and sees the money from me as something to make her very expensive life (because of where she has to live) a bit easier. She's not doing it to make a fortune and, as she's said more than once, if  wanted to fuck guys for money I'd be making 20 times what I do now for 20% of the hours or words to that effect. She's right, she'd make a fortune. She also gave me a lot of emotional support when I had some shit going on a while back something which someone who was only out to rinse me would not have done.

But, yes, there are a lot of timewasters, scammers and general idiots who think every guy on there is a free meal ticket and their numbers are growing. I do wonder whether sits like that should try to figure out some way of making the women on them pay as well, even if it's only a token amount. They need to find some way of reducing the numbers of these idiots though.

Be that may, unfortunately, the fact is that the majority on there are deluded, scamming, entitled girls who are just in it to make money and don't care who they manipulate or hurt along the way.

[Hobbit]

Again, you're wrong. I lived with a girl I met on there; we still talk; we still get on and I don't give her money. The girl I'm currently seeing never makes a big thing of the money, it's there to reduce the significant stress she's under living in a very expensive area, among other things. I'd give some specific examples of how I know that it isn't all about the money for her but these forums are publicly searchable so I'm not going to recount stories which might identify her or she might find and recognise the circumstances. It's sufficient to say though that she lives in a very well heeled area which has no shortage of very wealthy guys who'd be falling over themselves to get to her. Guys who could easily offer many, many times what I'm capable of without even missing it. It's not all about money for her, it's about feeling secure, financially and emotionally.

As I said, what you are describing is possible and there may be many other subconscious reasons why she is seeing you but the underlying fact is it is due to the money. But that's okay because that's what the website is all about. What I don't agree with is these girls charging ridiculous amounts for platonic dates and thinking it is okay because my fellow girlfriends are charging the same. It is up to us whether we pay or not but I personally don't see them being anything different than a prostitute. I think the website should rename itself and call itself "Deluded Arrangements".

[datwabbit]

The debate of escorts or not comes up quite often including from women themselves who have been watching Band of Gold too much. Similarly escorts have an opinion of sugar babies because of the complexity of it compared to escorting and the higher chance of unprotected sex.

Whatever you call them is up to you, but as long as it's respectful to other men. I've seen too many sugar daddies on here take on an air of superiority over other punters, when the important thing to remember is that none of these women will see you unless you're paying them directly or via a restaurant.

And in that way, we're all the fucking same and so are they.

[southcoastpunter]

Whatever you call them is up to you, but as long as it's respectful to other men.

and maybe to the ladies too  - except the scammers, liars, time wasters, "entitled" ones etc of which there are too many thesedays. but there are some genuine ones too that deserve our respect.

 the important thing to remember is that none of these women will see you unless you're paying them directly or via a restaurant.

again that is not strictly true! its not ALL of these women. Perhaps most - yes. My ex SB who moved away, sometimes treats me when we (occasionally) meet up!  And she gave me a very good and expensive Christmas present!

[90125]

Might be a good idea to cease the tit for tat posts here before I delete this Open Thread leaving only the closed one for Seeking discussions.

[Lewwy]

As I said, what you are describing is possible and there may be many other subconscious reasons why she is seeing you but the underlying fact is it is due to the money. But that's okay because that's what the website is all about. What I don't agree with is these girls charging ridiculous amounts for platonic dates and thinking it is okay because my fellow girlfriends are charging the same. It is up to us whether we pay or not but I personally don't see them being anything different than a prostitute. I think the website should rename itself and call itself "Deluded Arrangements".

These are good points. On the point of what girls are charging; I've always been highly sceptical of the girls who are seeing regular guys and claiming that they're getting hundreds and hundreds of pounds for dinner dates, etc. Not saying it doesn't happen but it's very rare and virtually no girls will be making any sort of significant money from it. Yes, many will probably get the odd 200 quid dinner date, but that's a night on the piss for most of them and they will be getting very few of them. The turnover of new members on SA presently tends to suggest that very few are getting anything worthwhile out of it. I reckon that they all discuss it with their mates and wildly inflate what they get for doing very little in some sort of self re-enforcing and perpetuating ring of fantasy.

[southcoastpunter]

So the question I have is how do you convince them to go out for free or low pay platonic meets? As many of them would want at least £200 for a date.

I don't try to convince them - if they want a paid platonic date as part of the getting to know process i simply tell them that i don't do that and they stand to gain a LT monthly allowance arrangement and if they don't want to do that for the sake of a few hours of their time, fair enough but then they aren't for me! Of course I have lost a few that way but if so, i consider it a good loss as it shows that for them money was their prime driver. I stress to them the sorts of social/active things i want to do and have done with previous SB's - which is basically anything that we both want to do!

I did do one paid platonic date in the early days and it didn't lead to anything and i suspect she never intended it to go anywhere so learnt from that and never done it since! (and in my first year on SA, i probably was more like most guys on here - i fucked about 25 different women from SA in my first 9 months (in addition to having one LT SA relationship) but realised that i got so much more from the LT one that I only do that now - usually having 2 on the go!)   

you targeting the old and less attractive ones?

I only have one mate that I have shared my SA experiences with and shown pics of my SB's to and he agrees their are good looking ladies! My 4 LT SB's were aged 22, 24, 32 and 21. My new one is the oldest i have ever seen at 40 but could easily pass for about 30ish.

[southcoastpunter]

Might be a good idea to cease the tit for tat posts here before I delete this Open Thread leaving only the closed one for Seeking discussions.

sorry - didn't see that before i posted my last!

and yes but i think some of the latter ones have been informative on how different people use and view SA. But You are the boss so yes!

[datwabbit]

Riddle me this:
Woman on the site a while. Contacts me last week. I decide to ignore how long she's been on. She tells me she's met some for coffee but no more. We message. She sends me photos of her. She tells me she's got 2 kids under 2 and dumped by the father.

She tells me she works shifts but will be free today. Arrangement money would be just a top up to her income. Tells me she's going on holiday soon and all the details. I ask if she wants to meet or happy to keep chatting (because I'm cynical and been here before) She pushes for today and asks me to choose somewhere for coffee. So i pick somewhere.

Then yesterday messages slow and no replies to "are we still on for today". Today messages stop and we've clearly not met.

So wtf is the point of it all. How much of that story is true. I gave her an out quite often to keep chatting which would free me up to chat to others. No harm done. She'd be someone that i message whenever knowing she's never going to meet.

Instead she's had me trying to confirm something. At least i never set off.

I just don't see the point of pretending you're going to meet when the guy is giving you so many chances to put it off with no strop.

[Lewwy]

The debate of escorts or not comes up quite often including from women themselves who have been watching Band of Gold too much. Similarly escorts have an opinion of sugar babies because of the complexity of it compared to escorting and the higher chance of unprotected sex.

Whatever you call them is up to you, but as long as it's respectful to other men. I've seen too many sugar daddies on here take on an air of superiority over other punters, when the important thing to remember is that none of these women will see you unless you're paying them directly or via a restaurant.

And in that way, we're all the fucking same and so are they.

I personally hate the terms Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy. I think they are equally disrespectful to either party, especially to women. I think that Sugar Baby is far more belittling to a woman that Sugar Daddy is to a man. It implies some sort of "dependence" on the man in the arrangement. I can state quite conclusively that most of the women I've met off there, and who are approaching it from the right point of view, are far from dependent on anyone. They are doing it to make their lives easier via mental and financial support from an older guy who has his shit together to make their life easier, not because they can't handle their own lives. 

Yes, you are correct that they wouldn't be seeing you but for some level of "consideration" in the relationship but, a point I think I made pages and pages ago, is that that's exactly the score with any personal or intimate relationship. It's just that these types of relationship start off with the question of "....how are we going to mutually support each other.... being addressed up front. Dress it up any way you like but absolutely every single marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend or whatever type of relationship you care to think up, is based on two people getting together to mutually support each other whether that be financial, emotional or physical. No woman will move in with you or marry you if you do not contribute your fair share to the relationship. If you moved in with your girlfriend and decided to refuse to pay any of the rent, mortgage, food bills, gas, etc, she would not hang around long just as the sugar baby wouldn't continue the arrangement if you decided to stop her allowance. Humans get together as couples for the sole purpose of making their lives more comfortable - for mutually beneficial purposes.

People in "normal" relationships, like those I gave examples of, will deride people who meet women on sites like SA (and the women on such sites) as being "weird", "exploiters", "perverts" or whatever other bullshit names they can think of when, if they actually thought about it though, they'd see that their relationship was essentially no different when you distil it to its essential ingredients. So, yeah, you're right - we're all the fucking same.

[Lewwy]

Riddle me this:
Woman on the site a while. Contacts me last week. I decide to ignore how long she's been on. She tells me she's met some for coffee but no more. We message. She sends me photos of her. She tells me she's got 2 kids under 2 and dumped by the father.

She tells me she works shifts but will be free today. Arrangement money would be just a top up to her income. Tells me she's going on holiday soon and all the details. I ask if she wants to meet or happy to keep chatting (because I'm cynical and been here before) She pushes for today and asks me to choose somewhere for coffee. So i pick somewhere.

Then yesterday messages slow and no replies to "are we still on for today". Today messages stop and we've clearly not met.

So wtf is the point of it all. How much of that story is true. I gave her an out quite often to keep chatting which would free me up to chat to others. No harm done. She'd be someone that i message whenever knowing she's never going to meet.

Instead she's had me trying to confirm something. At least i never set off.

I just don't see the point of pretending you're going to meet when the guy is giving you so many chances to put it off with no strop.

I've had a few like that and I just don't get it. What are they getting out of it as there has clearly been no benefit to them? I've had a few which were clearly fake profiles created with pics of another girl who I think was a genuine member. I can't get my head around it other than to think that some profiles are bots or are created any managed by SA staff in order to string people along. SA definitely uses chat bots (as I think we have discussed before) as you often get notifications of profile views in the last few hours or days after having had your account deactivated for months in some cases. I suspect that the automated profiles created by SA for some reason can't recognise a deactivated account on their system so view it anyway.

[Payyourwaymate]

I personally hate the terms Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy. I think they are equally disrespectful to either party, especially to women. I think that Sugar Baby is far more belittling to a woman that Sugar Daddy is to a man. It implies some sort of "dependence" on the man in the arrangement. I can state quite conclusively that most of the women I've met off there, and who are approaching it from the right point of view, are far from dependent on anyone. They are doing it to make their lives easier via mental and financial support from an older guy who has his shit together to make their life easier, not because they can't handle their own lives. 

You don't see the contradiction? Mental and financial support is some form of dependence no?

My good sir the mental gymnastics you are pulling here is Olympic standard. Gold for you  .

[martini2429]

Riddle me this:
Woman on the site a while. Contacts me last week. I decide to ignore how long she's been on. She tells me she's met some for coffee but no more. We message. She sends me photos of her. She tells me she's got 2 kids under 2 and dumped by the father.

She tells me she works shifts but will be free today. Arrangement money would be just a top up to her income. Tells me she's going on holiday soon and all the details. I ask if she wants to meet or happy to keep chatting (because I'm cynical and been here before) She pushes for today and asks me to choose somewhere for coffee. So i pick somewhere.

Then yesterday messages slow and no replies to "are we still on for today". Today messages stop and we've clearly not met.

So wtf is the point of it all. How much of that story is true. I gave her an out quite often to keep chatting which would free me up to chat to others. No harm done. She'd be someone that i message whenever knowing she's never going to meet.

Instead she's had me trying to confirm something. At least i never set off.

I just don't see the point of pretending you're going to meet when the guy is giving you so many chances to put it off with no strop.

Probably find that she found someone willing to pay for a coffee meet, I take you weren't?

 

[southcoastpunter]

we can speculate but we don't know why she flaked on datwabbit. what we do know is that, sadly, this is not unusual. I guess we all have had (at least one) do that to us!

[dmitrybulgakov]

My thoughts exactly very very ordinary looking and shit attitude. The blokes paying them those ridiculous amounts must bring their guide dogs along to the dates. 

Have to disagree about Olivia,however, she has had too much plastic surgery already and looks plastic and awful, dread to think what she will look like in 10 years time.

These girls are living for a day (high paid ones). They clearly have no future plans, and no pragmatic attitude. When the looks and body will fail (and it will !), who is gonna pay them even for a blow job?

[dmitrybulgakov]

I've noticed a few things changing this year.  One is that we are getting many more girls in their 30s and 40s and fewer in the student age range.  Has Brandon changed his marketing?  Has there been articles in in Cosmo or similar magazines?
There is a new trend of photos of the girls hair from the back as the main profile.
So often a new girls to the site, when you offer £150 a meet, says "My last Daddy sent me £1000 a month".  There is also a stock phrase about being "mentored".  I can't help thinking there is a forum for girls that gives them these ideas.

Offcourse Brandon did change it to a proper dating site on Feb this year. He is promoting love and settlement now. Knock-on effect for us UKP people is that students and/or girls under 25 is usually NOT looking for settlement.  So finding genuine innocent newbie babes is much tougher now.

[dmitrybulgakov]

that may be your opinion and your experience but it doesn't make it FACT.  It certainly is not my experience. i agree that some, perhaps many and maybe nowdays even most ladies on SA might be like this BUT NOT ALL. I only go for those that want a LT arrangement and to do things together (yes including sex but its not just about sex). I have been on a 2 weeks holiday (2 years ago) with one and a week's holiday with a different one this year. You need a "connection" of some sort for that. if your relationship is only about money and sex then a week is a long time.

I have just had to find a new SB and had several online chats (including 2 video chats) and then 2 M&G type meetings before we made an arrangement. She "shortlisted (for want of a better word) 3 guys of which i was one and decided on me because she said we had a better "connection" even though my allowance offer was the lowest.

So i beg to differ from your sweeping statement about ladies and guys on SA. (maybe its because i don't consider seeking as "punting")

Are you able to PM me please southcoastpunter?. Have a wee question, which is best discussed privately..
Thanks

[dmitrybulgakov]

Stop the financial support by saying you're having a few problems yourself and see how long she waits.

Now here is an interesting one. I do meet a Barrister's girl from time to time. One brought up with a silver spoon...
Her Dad never spent time with her, so she spends times and fuck with me when not working in her PT job.

Just drinks and sex.
She is fulfilling a kink, and does not ask for gifts or money.

[datwabbit]

Now here is an interesting one. I do meet a Barrister's girl from time to time. One brought up with a silver spoon...
Her Dad never spent time with her, so she spends times and fuck with me when not working in her PT job.

Just drinks and sex.
She is fulfilling a kink, and does not ask for gifts or money.

Well I'm sure you know what you have to do next

[londonroad]

Offcourse Brandon did change it to a proper dating site on Feb this year. He is promoting love and settlement now. Knock-on effect for us UKP people is that students and/or girls under 25 is usually NOT looking for settlement.  So finding genuine innocent newbie babes is much tougher now.

I agree with this. I have been on the site for four years and recently finished a sub. I found it really hard work finding what I consider a genuine SB. I acknowledge that I am very selective with the body shape and age of the SBs I am looking for, but this was the same with previous subs. This time I found a significant increase in the number of SBs  wanting paid m&g. In my experience we are not now seeing many girls joining the site, who are prepared to offer the traditional genuine sugar babe experience.
I remain hopeful that when the students return in the autumn, combined with the impact of the cost of living pressures, we might start to see more girls offering what we are looking for.