Dasha & Elsa: Hot Collection: Kensington: A fucking shocker

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

Some days I really love this fucking game, having some major business issues with a bunch of foreign fucktards so the opportunity to escape by spending naked time with two absolutely stunning birds is a blessing, right? Not today it wasn't, this was a fucking shocker.

Dasha, 20, Russian, brunette with blonde highlights, bisexual, 5’8”, size 8, 34B-24-34 £200

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Elsa, 26, Russian, blonde, bisexual, 5’8”, size 8, 34C-24-34 £250 [my top pricepoint, it annoys me giving one girl more than the other when I expect similar service from both, the top price one will always get the first and most damaging shot of the first unload, just to make sure she earns her extra £50, if I get some in her hair it’s justified, alas today wasn't one of those days]

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The offering: owo, dfk, gfe [what I got was girlfriend experience after forgetting her birthday and shagging her best mate], cim, cif, cob.

Comms: Text to agency, all confirmed and address provided within minutes.

Venue: Same place I saw Anushka & Sylvia, the gaff with the nosy porter https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=118932.0 This time he asked my name, who I was seeing and my phone number, I said "this is a block of flats not Buckingham Palace, fuck off and mind your own business", thankfully the lift doors opened as I finished my sentence and I was off up.

The girls: The reality truly reflects the photos, Dasha is a gorgeous young model type, save for a very big conk, slightly discoloured [grey] teeth and pretty bad facial acne [which I hoped to help cure with some protein later], Elsa, older, mid twenties and despite a lack of animation in the flesh and a big angry spot on her forehead much better than the pictures.

They greeted me in dresses, both six footers in heels with the haughty air of girls who know they are hot and I thought I'm in for a treat.

This was one of those punts that ground painfully from an awkward meet and greet to a reluctant suck and fuck with all the in between stuff jarring harshly and unnaturally.

Both girls were disengaged and endured shallow kissing, no tongues, head and an inches deep blowjobs, little attention to balls and none to gooch, too much hand, body positioning to make groping and poking as difficult as possible.

They committed a number of cardinal whoring sins, exacerbated by the daft prices.

When we were naked and believe me they look spectacular, all natural, Dasha with a thigh tattoo, pale and flawless skin [apart from her face], Elsa, golden, both soft, young and delicious, I take a quick shower, return start light kissing and groping, was standing to attention and the bullshit started....

"It's so big" yea, whatever, suck it - Dasha reaches for a condom, I say "no, suck without" then she douses my cock and balls in that fucking disinfectant spray the Russian birds love so much, after yesterday and today I'm cleaner than an operating theatre.

She starts sucking taking the head and a couple of inches in, using her other hand as a barrier, I take her hands away and start to try and face fuck her, she moans and says "too much" as I kiss and grope Elsa who is reluctant and when I stroke her hair she immediately shakes it back into place.

I'm thinking this is a whoring flat, not a nightclub, I may be a dirty old middle aged fella but I'm paying for you to suck and fuck me, not give me the impression you are doing me a favour, you are hookers, not princesses.

I get Elsa to suck me a bit, after another spray of disinfectant then get a condom on and start fucking Dasha in cowgirl and crouching cowgirl, she moans and groans, wincing like she's taking a 12 incher like a large baby's arm holding a grapefruit, which is a slight exaggeration. Anyway, the old holding the cock so I don't go too deep is dealt with by me shoving her hand out of the way, saying "come on", she's pretty tight and a combination of fake groaning from them both, the reflection in the mirror and managing to get a finger in Elsa's pussy as I smash Dasha hard gets me over the edge and I shoot in the nodder. 

They go into overdrive as I withdraw, using half a box of tissues to remove the rubber and any stray spunk then the dreaded spray again, at this point I'm considering changing my name to fucking Dettol.

I went to clean up and returned to find them texting furiously, still naked, so I jumped in the middle and we have a stilted awkward conversation, they avoid eye contact, I say, please suck him now, Dasha gets down to it, I gently push Elsa down to help, she reluctantly engages with my nads and I rise to the occasion. Elsa puts on a new Durex and jumps on in cowgirl, more fake moaning and groaning as she tries to mimic Dacha's result  and making me cum, she fails and I fuck her hard and fast, the moaning and groaning gets real and watching this hot body bouncing on my cock and the slapping sound and getting my tongue in Dasha'a mouth and a hand on her arse with a finger near her ring piece gets me very close.

I pull out to a palpable look of disappointment on both girl's faces as they realise they need to do more work, manage to position them on their knees near the mirror, grab some lube, get one to cup my bollocks and the other to get a finger or two close to my arse and frantically toss myself off as they close their eyes and mouths tight as I start to lose the will to finish then one of them sighed, possibly out of boredom but I took it as a sign of encouragement and felt the sap rising, redoubled my efforts and spattered their faces, most satisfyingly getting some in their hair and onto the mirror as they flinched like boxers taking a punch with every spurt. Give them their due, they stayed down there until I finished with a flourish, smacking Elsa on the cheek with my cock, she pulled away in revulsion and virtually sprinted to the bathroom.

I had my third shower and dressed in difficult near silence, they smiled broadly as I left, saying please come back anytime as I closed the door, 50 minutes after I'd entered.

I sneered at the porter on the way out and spent ten minutes lambasting the agency who apologised profusely, said the had many good reviews from [deluded by beauty] clients and promised to make it up to me. What a fucking business!




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[Jay72]

Maybe they just dont like Leeds fans YLF   

Glad i didnt take up the agency's offer of Dasha the other day. What a fcking pair these two sound.

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

Maybe they just dont like Leeds fans YLF   

Glad i didnt take up the agency's offer of Dasha the other day. What a fcking pair these two sound.

Dasha on her own might be better Jay, but not worth £200, Elsa had this daft pout on virtually the whole time and she didn't like being guided to do anything, attitude was I'm beautiful, you should be happy to see me naked, sometimes its like the Brothers Grimm wrote the likes list.

The agency receptionist has a sore ear tonight, she insisted they had both received strong feedback, must've been very easily satisfied punters.

[webpunter]

An occupational hazard - in the sense that if you roll the dice often enuf then you get crap ones now & again
I'm thinking in footy terms - a team gets a spanking.  The next team they play gets the backlash.  Sure you'll give the next burd / burds both barrels 

The agency receptionist has a sore ear tonight, she insisted they had both received strong feedback, must've been very easily satisfied punters.

"well she would say that wouldn't she" - reminds me of a film.  There are no doubt some easily satisfied punters - who get all excited when presented with a [reasonably] fit bid in close proximity.  An a pair is too much for them to handle.  They think its brilliant when its actually shite & the burds in question are laughing their tits off having to do diddly-squat

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

An occupational hazard - in the sense that if you roll the dice often enuf then you get crap ones now & again
I'm thinking in footy terms - a team gets a spanking.  The next team they play gets the backlash.  Sure you'll give the next burd / burds both barrels 

Will certainly be plenty of dogged midfield action, smashing it in from the edge of the box and shooting across the face....

[Gatehouse]

I think the nightclub part says it well. I sometimes wonder if these girls actually realise what being a whore means.

On Friday I saw Cleo from Hot Collection - crap oral, and CIF and even FK were taboo - even though they were listed.

Farce. Sorry it didn't work out.

[TheCape]

Blimey Yeboah, quite a shocker.

Given how much business you put their way, I hope they give you a bloody good deal in the near future. 

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

Blimey Yeboah, quite a shocker.

Given how much business you put their way, I hope they give you a bloody good deal in the near future.

Yep, been promised a spectacular duo....

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

I think the nightclub part says it well. I sometimes wonder if these girls actually realise what being a whore means.

On Friday I saw Cleo from Hot Collection - crap oral, and CIF and even FK were taboo - even though they were listed.

Farce. Sorry it didn't work out.

Agency girls are so mixed it's so frustrating and expensive when they don't deliver.

[Gatehouse]

The problem is, they get some stunnas, but for a lot of the time, the service isnt there.

Lucia was great (I preferred her curvier in the early days), Amanda was good, Julia wasnt bad, and so on - but recently there has just been a shed load of good lookers who dont seem to give a toss - literally.

As was said, there must be a lot of punters who dont expect much for their hard earned. And that is the problem - the market overall doesnt really demand/cant enforce a decent service quite often. Especially I think with duos where almost the 'we have turned up and are naked' seems in their opinion to be enough to warrant £400+.

Roll-on the greats of AW I say. But personally I like variety and I too got drawn to Hot Collection last week and regretted it.

I know I am tarring all with the same brush, but its a shocker as you say when they dont perform.

Ive got Maggie21 tomorrow so I will unleash my pent-up filth accordingly......

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

The problem is, they get some stunnas, but for a lot of the time, the service isnt there.

Lucia was great (I preferred her curvier in the early days), Amanda was good, Julia wasnt bad, and so on - but recently there has just been a shed load of good lookers who dont seem to give a toss - literally.

As was said, there must be a lot of punters who dont expect much for their hard earned. And that is the problem - the market overall doesnt really demand/cant enforce a decent service quite often. Especially I think with duos where almost the 'we have turned up and are naked' seems in their opinion to be enough to warrant £400+.

Roll-on the greats of AW I say. But personally I like variety and I too got drawn to Hot Collection last week and regretted it.

I know I am tarring all with the same brush, but its a shocker as you say when they dont perform.

Ive got Maggie21 tomorrow so I will unleash my pent-up filth accordingly......

Enjoy Maggie, I've not had the pleasure and to be honest I struggle to find AW girls I fancy in my punting areas....

[Gatehouse]

Can I ask, when you say 'in my areas' do you mean taste-wise or geographically?

Cheers.

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

Can I ask, when you say 'in my areas' do you mean taste-wise or geographically?

Cheers.

Geographically

[Gatehouse]

I admit that actually on AW, the number of good lookers in a given area (and London is far far better than most) is limited.

I suppose it depends on the trade off of 'certainty of looks and service' with AW (which with sites like this you can get) vs the more visually appealing nature of many of the girls at the agencies.

There are exceptions - and when the agency girls are good, they are magic. My prob has been I have gone through £1000s with agencies to find the good ones. Lucia was def one of those for me.

Also, a lot of the high end (usually but not exclusively, decent looking) are now charging £daft sums on AW. There is obviously a market.

Maggie is in Earls Court every 3-4 weeks and is there this week. There are better lookers but she is good looking in her own right and service is great.

Going off piste.......apols, I agree its not easy. At least out in the sticks youve only got a few to choose from and thats that!!!!!

Best

[Gatehouse]

I admit that actually on AW, the number of good lookers in a given area (and London is far far better than most) is limited.

I suppose it depends on the trade off of 'certainty of looks and service' with AW (which with sites like this you can get) vs the more visually appealing nature of many of the girls at the agencies.

There are exceptions - and when the agency girls are good, they are magic. My prob has been I have gone through £1000s with agencies to find the good ones. Lucia was def one of those for me.

Also, a lot of the high end (usually but not exclusively, decent looking) are now charging £daft sums on AW. There is obviously a market.

Maggie is in Earls Court every 3-4 weeks and is there this week. There are better lookers but she is good looking in her own right and service is great.

Going off piste.......I agree its not easy. At least out in the sticks youve only got a few to choose from and thats that!!!!!

Best

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

I admit that actually on AW, the number of good lookers in a given area (and London is far far better than most) is limited.

I suppose it depends on the trade off of 'certainty of looks and service' with AW (which with sites like this you can get) vs the more visually appealing nature of many of the girls at the agencies.

There are exceptions - and when the agency girls are good, they are magic. My prob has been I have gone through £1000s with agencies to find the good ones. Lucia was def one of those for me.

Also, a lot of the high end (usually but not exclusively, decent looking) are now charging £daft sums on AW. There is obviously a market.

Maggie is in Earls Court every 3-4 weeks and is there this week. There are better lookers but she is good looking in her own right and service is great.

Going off piste.......I agree its not easy. At least out in the sticks youve only got a few to choose from and thats that!!!!!

Best

True, and true to form, like an addict I'm back searching for my fix for tomorrow....

[Gatehouse]

I empathise. Give Maggie a go. May restore your AW fairh!

[Topkat]

''I sneered at the porter on the way out and spent ten minutes lambasting the agency who apologised profusely, said the had many good reviews from [deluded by beauty] clients and promised to make it up to me. What a fucking business!''


Hey YLF
Going through your back catalogue, hadn’t read this review before. Last paragraph above.

Always meant to ask, considering the amount of £££ you spend with Hot Collection
When you have a shocker & complain to HC reception, what is their way of making it up to you?

I haven’t had anything but great girls via HC but you tend to TOFTT with new girls.

Many years ago I had a totally shit punt with a girl form the long gone Bunnies Of London that I used regularly and was on first name terms with their receptionist.
Was a 90min outcall £300, where the girl spent way too much time in the bathroom or checking texts, totally disinterested attitude, didn’t do all advertised services etc etc.
I complained that she wasn’t up to their usual standard & was told they had a few similar comments on same girl who they quickly dropped off their site.

The following evening they sent their best reviewed girl to my hotel room ‘on the house’ for 2 hrs, would have been £400 for the outcall, she even brought a bottle of wine with her.

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

''I sneered at the porter on the way out and spent ten minutes lambasting the agency who apologised profusely, said the had many good reviews from [deluded by beauty] clients and promised to make it up to me. What a fucking business!''


Hey YLF
Going through your back catalogue, hadn’t read this review before. Last paragraph above.

Always meant to ask, considering the amount of £££ you spend with Hot Collection
When you have a shocker & complain to HC reception, what is their way of making it up to you?

I haven’t had anything but great girls via HC but you tend to TOFTT with new girls.

Many years ago I had a totally shit punt with a girl form the long gone Bunnies Of London that I used regularly and was on first name terms with their receptionist.
Was a 90min outcall £300, where the girl spent way too much time in the bathroom or checking texts, totally disinterested attitude, didn’t do all advertised services etc etc.
I complained that she wasn’t up to their usual standard & was told they had a few similar comments on same girl who they quickly dropped off their site.

The following evening they sent their best reviewed girl to my hotel room ‘on the house’ for 2 hrs, would have been £400 for the outcall, she even brought a bottle of wine with her.

TK, the receptionist normally tells the girls I'm a regular and to give me VIP treatment and doesn't make too many mistakes when making recommendations, she knows what I like. Never had a discount but a few extra 15 to 30 minutes on the house. She knows I review and the reviews generate business but multiple agencies often go through a Sergei who ultimately controls a group of girls so cash off is tough.

[Topkat]

Yeah know what you mean, pimp in the middle taking his cut doesnt give a shit about us guys.
I had a totally crap punt about a year ago, gave agency a call afterwards, they said sorry and would get back to me but didnt.
Bunnies had most girls exclusively on their book, easier for them to do something to compensate a regular customer.

[GolfNut]

You have far too much money to waste YBL.

Got any jobs going spare?

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

You have far too much money to waste YBL.

Got any jobs going spare?

I prefer not to waste it pal, having great difficulty spending this year, London punting choice in my areas is shite so far.

[chapmanpincher]

A cracking review, thought as an out of towner I would have a gander at the London reviews, laughed out loud at this, not at you getting done over, but the turn of phrase, long live UK Punting!

[Yeboahsleftfoot]

A cracking review, thought as an out of towner I would have a gander at the London reviews, laughed out loud at this, not at you getting done over, but the turn of phrase, long live UK Punting!

Cheers!