Nerves before a Punt

[nervouspunter52]

Gents,

I've been observing this forum for a while now, and have found it all very interesting reading. One thing that I don't think has cropped up is nerves before a punt.

I've been punting for about 3 years, during the end of my marriage and now I am separated, and one thing has been common all the way through. Nerves.

I get ridiculously nervous hours before and just before the punt, to the point where a lot of the time I have actually cancelled the appointment. I have had a lot of very successful punts with some great ladies and once I'm there and in the lady's company my nerves go.

My nerves also have contributed to "lack of performance", i.e. I can't get it up. Which I have reluctantly opted for Viagra to cure this problem, to great success.

Any suggestions on how to generally ease the nervous feelings? 

[PatrickCarnes]

Try and uncover the unconcious beliefs that are making you feel nervous. In my case it's things like, "Will she like me?", "Will she provide a good service?", "What am I going to talk about?". Write them down if it helps. Getting them out in the light of day may take the power out of them and may reduce your nervousness. And you may be left with "healthy" nervousness, the kind we get when meeting someone new and being in a new situation.

[nervouspunter52]

To be honest, my nervousness is probably caused my knowing that what I'm doing people close to me would judge me, or that it's wrong...

I've tried to stop, thinking that maybe if I get so nervous before each punt then maybe it's not for me, and with the performance related problem I decided I wasn't going to punt anymore, because what's the point if you can't get it up. But as always, I kept "window shopping" on the purple site to see who I'd like to sample next...hence why I hunted out Viagra to help with the performance side of things...

I suppose everyone has there own nerves relating to this hobby...

I have an appointment booked tonight, so hopefully it'll be fine and dandy 

[PatrickCarnes]

To be honest, my nervousness is probably caused my knowing that what I'm doing people close to me would judge me, or that it's wrong...

I've tried to stop, thinking that maybe if I get so nervous before each punt then maybe it's not for me, and with the performance related problem I decided I wasn't going to punt anymore, because what's the point if you can't get it up. But as always, I kept "window shopping" on the purple site to see who I'd like to sample next...hence why I hunted out Viagra to help with the performance side of things...

I suppose everyone has there own nerves relating to this hobby...

I have an appointment booked tonight, so hopefully it'll be fine and dandy 

That kind of moral judgment of "I'm doing something wrong",  can be hard to shift because in my experience it can be deep rooted and can't just be rationalised away, so you may be stuck with it to some extent. So maybe just learn to experience it before the punt and go and do it anyway. That's what I have done.

[yorkshire123]

Welcome 
If you type in Nerves into the search box you will find quite a few discussions about it.
Should make for good reading to add to the good advise you will get on this thread.

[sublimetoridiculous]

Have you done any repeats? Were you nervous the second time?

[smiths]

Try and uncover the unconcious beliefs that are making you feel nervous. In my case it's things like, "Will she like me?", "Will she provide a good service?", "What am I going to talk about?". Write them down if it helps. Getting them out in the light of day may take the power out of them and may reduce your nervousness. And you may be left with "healthy" nervousness, the kind we get when meeting someone new and being in a new situation.

What a good post and advice.  Excited anticipation sums up how i feel before a punt.

[nervouspunter52]

I will look it up..

I have done one repeat booking, and I wasn't really nervous as far as I can remember, I suppose I could always try a repeat booking when I find a lovely lady who I'm comfortable with...

Thanks for all the advice.

[backofthenet]

repeat punting is definitely one way to help conquer your nerves. A lot of the nerves are a result of the unknowns -
what will she look like?
how will she behave towards me?
What will her flat look like? etc.

By repeat punting you can answer some of these questions and to some extent assuage your nerves. Then you take that new found confidence into your next first-time punt.

It's not a perfect cure but it will help.

[ForrestGump]

I also get anxious before a punt so can empathise with you and your situation. However I'm a lot less anxious now than when I first started this pastime.

The following thread is a bit off topic but contains some really good posts/info from which you may be able to derive something useful to you and your situation. https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=32722.msg454596#msg454596

One thing I've found helpful is to have explanations/responses prepared for unexpected encounters with friends or acquaintances when I'm out punting. In reality, unless you're punting very close to home, it's highly unlikely you'll bump into anyone you know. However just having a response prepared for that eventuality should help reduce your anxiety a bit. And if you keep chipping away at the things that are fuelling your anxiety you'll hopefully get to the point where your anxiety is manageable and you can relax and enjoy yourself more.