Sneaking out of the house late at night to punt

[RandomGuy99]

Don't forget to ask Santa for a Ninja outfit, so you can sneak out undetected.

[Marmalade]

India's trains have some nice first class private apartments and trips are exotic merely for the location. But getting an Indian p4p to take up the offer would be challenging. Orient Express appeals -- I've never been on it -- it would be nice to think some EE country had elite carriage compartments at a more reasonable price (I'd hardly like to waste OE money on a p4p4). I've only travelled Poland as far as I remember on EE trains trains though. It was almost a case of sharing with chickens and other strange items of luggage. Egypt is ok, not luxurious, slightly better than British Rail, but p4p in Egypt is pretty well awkward if not increasingly impossible. Rovos Rail in (Africa, sub-Sahara, I've not been on it though) has some posh suites according to the web but again starting at over a grande UKP.

It's not a do-or-die fantasy. Just thought it worth raising as a momentary thought in case anyone happens to have inside experience.

[winkywanky]

a relative of mine, picked up an american lady on the inverness to london  overnight sleeper, it wouldnt greatly appeal to me, as at that epoque and perhaps even now, there were no showers on the train. he told me their antics were much appreciated by the rail workers when the train stopped for some reason.

Well bearing in mind the beds in a sleeper run across the carriage, perhaps the sheer force of your relative's humping  (experienced caber-tosser?) was rocking the train and liable to cause a derailment?

[JontyR]

Well bearing in mind the beds in a sleeper run across the carriage, perhaps the sheer force of your relative's humping  (experienced caber-tosser?) was rocking the train and liable to cause a derailment?

A friend who used to use the sleeper regularly used to tell me about being woken without fail by the "heavy shunting" that takes place at Edinburgh.

[winkywanky]

A friend who used to use the sleeper regularly used to tell me about being woken without fail by the "heavy shunting" that takes place at Edinburgh.

 

[willie loman]

India's trains have some nice first class private apartments and trips are exotic merely for the location. But getting an Indian p4p to take up the offer would be challenging. Orient Express appeals -- I've never been on it -- it would be nice to think some EE country had elite carriage compartments at a more reasonable price (I'd hardly like to waste OE money on a p4p4). I've only travelled Poland as far as I remember on EE trains trains though. It was almost a case of sharing with chickens and other strange items of luggage. Egypt is ok, not luxurious, slightly better than British Rail, but p4p in Egypt is pretty well awkward if not increasingly impossible. Rovos Rail in (Africa, sub-Sahara, I've not been on it though) has some posh suites according to the web but again starting at over a grande UKP.

It's not a do-or-die fantasy. Just thought it worth raising as a momentary thought in case anyone happens to have inside experience.

You clearly havent read Agatha Christie," Poirrot and the case of the used condom", he gathers them all in the dining car as per usual

[shagmore]

Prefer to do my shaging in the morning, like to try and be the first one the WG has seen that day, but very tempted

[Carl Adams]

Its a dangerous hobby at times - I got sorted for a whole evening with a lass who I had met on SA and was ready for a hotel and all.

Made the mistake of using a work do as the excuse - girl then pulled out and me with nowhere easy to go and not wanting to shell out for a hotel so ended up having to concoct an excuse that would have fallen apart if my partner had asked any half sensible question

[Watts.E.Dunn]

A friend who used to use the sleeper regularly used to tell me about being woken without fail by the "heavy shunting" that takes place at Edinburgh.

I expect their changing from Electric to Diesel traction:)...

[B4bcock]

Prefer to do my shaging in the morning, like to try and be the first one the WG has seen that day, but very tempted

Due to my work/home balance, I also punt mainly in the mornings.   It works fine with my regulars and most of my first time meets, but, occasionally, I get let down by girls who struggle to get out of bed by 10 or 11 am.

[EastmidsBrowser]

When I lived in Leicester I did this a bit as there was a house 5 minutes walk away near the Clarendon Park area. There were several women there (all British, I'd say in their 30s) on a rotor. Had a couple of regulars, often for 15 minute meets
They were usually a blow n go when my other half was asleep. However there was a nice looking blonde 20-something with a cracking arse.

We've since moved but it was costing too much money anyway.

[Asmodeus]

In my experience, best not to do anything that would suddenly appear out of the normal. Also, always have a plausible alibi built and ready to go before doing anything.

Women 9/10 can usually smell bullshit a mile off... ask yourself is the risk really worth it...

Finally, if you must, build a new routine in at that time that you could then use to your advantage. Even better involve her in it a couple of times so she can see it's harmless...

[Stiltskin]

I’ve been on the sleeper and it’s not exotic, reasonably priced, or in the slightest bit conducive to shagging.

It’s probably cheaper to book a cabin on the Cherbourg ferry, you’d also have a bit more room to do the business.

[webpunter]

Had an early morning meeting in Glasgow & couldn't be arsed with flying
Plus i wanted to try it.  Just once
I upgraded, to a "1st class" cabin
Which means a very narrow bed, but no bunk above [2nd class has a bunk]
Its not conducive to sleeping let alone shagging,
as i fell out of the bed once as the 'rattler' rocks around 
The wifi connection is shite / 3G 4G keeps dropping out
I made an attempt at bashing one out looking at porn on the iPad & gave up PDQ
To tick the shagging on a train box i suggest the bogs with a civvie, or the Orient Express

I’ve been on the sleeper and it’s not exotic, reasonably priced, or in the slightest bit conducive to shagging.

[webpunter]

Where is CueBall ?
Not that he ever had a table, or indeed ever played
Just had the cue & an imaginary mate
Brilliant

You need to start talking about a mate from work with a snooker table.

[webpunter]

This i can recommend
The room not the ferry
But get a deluxe type room or otherwise its bunks, situated below the waterline most likely
With a civvie i was a tad disappointed when opening the cabin door that there are two [relatively wide] single beds
The only discussion we had was who was gonna sleep on the bed with the damp patch
I dutifully let her have the other bed which was ideal as i was falling asleep, didn't have to move
And had a lovely undisturbed sleep after firing off the canon

It’s probably cheaper to book a cabin on the Cherbourg ferry, you’d also have a bit more room to do the business.

Plus on waking - before her - i gave littleWP as bit of a stroke to make sure i wasn't at half mast
Gave her a proper morning wake up before giving her a shot across the bows [a stunning rack]

[fforte]

Never done that, wouldn’t want to take the risk. Closest I’ve come is punting while on holiday and she was shopping, I nipped off up the road to spend €80 on something far better than a new pair of shoes

I recently went shopping and had an hours punt at half seven at night. I was only suppose to be shopping for Diy.

[MrMatrix]

Where is CueBall ?
Not that he ever had a table, or indeed ever played
Just had the cue & an imaginary mate
Brilliant

Indeed where is Cueball. Not posted any thing since August 2020. Not like him at all.

[Pupil2021]

Tough one this, only punted a couple of times this year, and had an excuse as could go to meetings, which I cannot anymore. Really helps if you have a mate who punts and/or can cover your back if ever asked or it's mentioned by her. You are simply going out with so and so, make it a couple of hours max (leave the car and us transport as she will wonder why you are driving to go for beers), have the punt, stop off at a pub (pre/post lockdown obvs), have a very quick couple of pints, no hard if you spill a bit on you. She will smell that and also covers up the smell of any bath wash you may of used at the WG's or the smell of the location on your clothes, obviously if you smoke chug away at a couple on the way home.

[Draglover]

This is so difficult, especially if something goes pear shaped, not worth the hassle.

Something you wouldn't expect could happen, best thing would be to get a proper time setup

[Maak]

My girlfriend works night shifts, so I usually get the night to myself to go punt.

Back in my single days, I once woke up at 2am & was able to find an escort in the early ours

[Dasher88]

Surely just easier to get a divorce or split up, your wasting your life and hers life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t make you happy enough to not cheat.

I’ve met WG’s when single but would never do it in a relationship.

[bob1]

All my punts are late in the evening, i ask for no perfume, oils or lippy and when i get in i sleep on the sofa. I have a bad back so quite often sleep on the sofa, and i always do the shopping late in the evening after the wife has gone to bed. I did have a rather awesome meet up late one evening recently, an escort that only did it for a few weeks but kept a few guys numbers text to say that she was in my area, she popped in and we fucked in my summer house at the bottom of the garden. I had to disconnect the wifi so cut the cctv and take out the ring door bell battery to charge it to cover those tracks, that session was nail biting but very exciting.

[webpunter]

Quality behaviour   
Nail biting indeed
One of the best posts [on this thread] & post of the month so far IMO

All my punts are late in the evening, i ask for no perfume, oils or lippy and when i get in i sleep on the sofa. I have a bad back so quite often sleep on the sofa, and i always do the shopping late in the evening after the wife has gone to bed. I did have a rather awesome meet up late one evening recently, an escort that only did it for a few weeks but kept a few guys numbers text to say that she was in my area, she popped in and we fucked in my summer house at the bottom of the garden. I had to disconnect the wifi so cut the cctv and take out the ring door bell battery to charge it to cover those tracks, that session was nail biting but very exciting.

PS - sleeping on the sofa is hardly likely to help your bad back
I suggest you continue !

[Pupil2021]

Heard/read (cannot rememeber!)  of some chap who got caught out by his Uber history, used his non punting phone once to call one, missus found out by accident. Ouch!

[daviemac]

All my punts are late in the evening, i ask for no perfume, oils or lippy and when i get in i sleep on the sofa. I have a bad back so quite often sleep on the sofa, and i always do the shopping late in the evening after the wife has gone to bed. I did have a rather awesome meet up late one evening recently, an escort that only did it for a few weeks but kept a few guys numbers text to say that she was in my area, she popped in and we fucked in my summer house at the bottom of the garden. I had to disconnect the wifi so cut the cctv and take out the ring door bell battery to charge it to cover those tracks, that session was nail biting but very exciting.

What??? she should never be doing that without the express permission from the punter, she would have no idea who might see the txt. If any escort sent me an unsolicited txt there would be a warning posted on here, that is a big no no.

In fact it would help others if you name her.

[PR67]

I've sneaked out the house late at night a couple of times. I regularly fall asleep on the couch after the mrs has gone to bed so that would be my only cover if she woke up and I wasn't there. One time was a punt last year and the other time was a meet off fabswingers a few years back. The meet off fab was brilliant. A hot, blonde wife had her husband video me and two other guys rattle her all night. Had to phone in sick for work after I got in at 6am

[Tender.french.kiss]

I was only suppose to be shopping for Diy.

DIY? You mean you went screwing 

[notcalledchris]

I’ve been on the sleeper and it’s not exotic, reasonably priced, or in the slightest bit conducive to shagging.

The new sleeper has double beds a s showers.  For a price

[bob1]

What??? she should never be doing that without the express permission from the punter, she would have no idea who might see the txt. If any escort sent me an unsolicited txt there would be a warning posted on here, that is a big no no.

In fact it would help others if you name her.

Her name is Kirsty. She would text me a message that was a copied one that was of a unsolicited message, i knew it was her so just replied.

[daviemac]

Her name is Kirsty. She would text me a message that was a copied one that was of a unsolicited message, i knew it was her so just replied.

They shouldn't be texting punters without their express consent, it's bad form. Some punters don't have punting phones and imagine what would happen if their partners saw a txt message, it could take some explaining.

[bob1]

Its an arrangement that i set up. I know its her when toolstation texts

[daviemac]

Its an arrangement that i set up. I know its her when toolstation texts

You didn't say that before. Like I said if they have permission to text at anytime then fair enough.

[Silverado]

Its an arrangement that i set up. I know its her when toolstation texts

Wouldn't  Screwfix be more appropriate ?

[bob1]

Wouldn't  Screwfix be more appropriate ?

Very good.

[webpunter]

Any punter who has a GF / OH, and doesn't use a punting phone needs their head examining
Can you really expect all paid burds not to send 'marketing' texts ?

I've had a few texts on the punting phone
I'm thinking now that you've got in touch, would be a shame to turn down the opportunity 
Well if they were good

Any UKP'er who hasn't ever received such a text, clearly doesn't do enuf punting 

You didn't say that before. Like I said if they have permission to text at anytime then fair enough.

Edit:  GF / OH or not - any punter who doesn't use a punting phone also needs their head examining too.  Plenty of other risks

[Jerk Chicken]

Any punter who has a GF / OH, and doesn't use a punting phone needs their head examining
Can you really expect all paid burds not to send 'marketing' texts ?

I've had a few texts on the punting phone
I'm thinking now that you've got in touch, would be a shame to turn down the opportunity 
Well if they were good

Any UKP'er who hasn't ever received such a text, clearly doesn't do enuf punting 

Edit:  GF / OH or not - any punter who doesn't use a punting phone also needs their head examining too.  Plenty of other risks

+1

[MrMatrix]

Any punter who has a GF / OH, and doesn't use a punting phone needs their head examining
Can you really expect all paid burds not to send 'marketing' texts ?

I've had a few texts on the punting phone
I'm thinking now that you've got in touch, would be a shame to turn down the opportunity 
Well if they were good

Any UKP'er who hasn't ever received such a text, clearly doesn't do enuf punting 

Edit:  GF / OH or not - any punter who doesn't use a punting phone also needs their head examining too.  Plenty of other risks

+2