Bored husband & Punting

[Gunner55]

Hi there, i am a long time lurker and i'm seriously thinking of going to a SP for the first time for sex.

I've been with my wife for over 20 yrs, been married for 15yr, kids, mortgage, jobs etc but our sex life has been on a long down turn and i can count the number of times ive had sex this year on both hands and im soo frustrated.
Im not into anything that kinky tbh just want regular sex (once a fortnite would be nice 😅)

I know i sound like most married 40(ish) yr old in the Country but shitting a brick to cheat on my wife who i love dearly.
Obviously guys are different to gals and see sex as less emotional and just sex but im Horny as hell and just want more than a cuddle and a kiss.

Im in my 40's and dont want to be a 80 yr old sitting in an old folks home think ive wasted my life and what could have been and enjoy other women on offer.
 
Just want some advice really on first time punting and what to expect from a WG and wondering if i could preform on the 1st occasion with a stranger etc.

[Iloveoral]

First thing I’d say, protect yourself, get a separate punting phone, delete messages, delete internet history regarding punting daily, you risk loosing your marriage obviously

I’m in the same boat but older so I get it.

Stick to well reviewed girls on here that offer the services your looking for, just keep it discreet 

[Big Bad R]

First thing I’d say, protect yourself, get a separate punting phone, delete messages, delete internet history regarding punting daily, you risk loosing your marriage obviously

I’m in the same boat but older so I get it.

Stick to well reviewed girls on here that offer the services your looking for, just keep it discreet 

Agree with above, would also add that it can become addictive quite quickly. Once you start you will always be planning the next punt !

Research on here is the key AW reviews are a waste of time !

[Moby Dick]

Obviously guys are different to gals and see sex as less emotional and just sex but im Horny as hell and just want more than a cuddle and a kiss.

If you want emotionless sex then go fuck a prossie.
Just beware of punters remorse which is mainly financial (buyers remorse)  but can evoke morality guilt trips.

[newhere456]

Mine is a similar situation to yours,  the only things I would add are:

1. Always have a watertight and plausable alibi
2. Wives have a sixth sense, they will usually know something is up so be ready for that.  but if there isn't any further evidence they don't usually dig-in.
3. Plan to come home from a punt when your wife is not in so you can clean up & change.  Perfume lingers, be ready to creosolt your fence (or similar) if you find yourself in the arms of a SP that is a little overenthusiastic applying perfume.
4. Beware of iphone find friends (or android equivalent),  if your wife is used to being able to see where you are then she's going to wonder why either you have disapeared or are not where you said you were.  If at all possible don't use this as its a real pain.  (I have to spoof my location every time I punt)

Finally,  you are in the right place - I have really appreciated the insight of others in this group.  (don't forget to review when the time comes 

[Garage man]

Mine is a similar situation to yours,  the only things I would add are:

1. Always have a watertight and plausable alibi
2. Wives have a sixth sense, they will usually know something is up so be ready for that.  but if there isn't any further evidence they don't usually dig-in.
3. Plan to come home from a punt when your wife is not in so you can clean up & change.  Perfume lingers, be ready to creosolt your fence (or similar) if you find yourself in the arms of a SP that is a little overenthusiastic applying perfume.
4. Beware of iphone find friends (or android equivalent),  if your wife is used to being able to see where you are then she's going to wonder why either you have disapeared or are not where you said you were.  If at all possible don't use this as its a real pain.  (I have to spoof my location every time I punt)

Finally,  you are in the right place - I have really appreciated the insight of others in this group.  (don't forget to review when the time comes 

Never change your normal routine to punt. If you are always home at 7.00 then don’t come home at 8.00 because you have been punting.

Think about how you are going to fund it. Can you get the cash out of the bank without it being noticed?
I do the weekly supermarket shop and get £50 cash back every time then throw away the receipt. £200 a month converted to punting funds and am a hero for going to the supermarket every week.

[Billy no mates]

I know it’s a little off topic.

I would disagree with the statement men are less and women are more emotionally attached to sex, in fact I would suggest it’s quiet the opposite.

[willie loman]

I know it’s a little off topic.

I would disagree with the statement men are less and women are more emotionally attached to sex, in fact I would suggest it’s quiet the opposite.

probably true, but most men are capable of mechanical sex and emotional sex.

[Slow grinder]

I've punted for over 40yrs and have never once regards it as CHEATING! Yes sometimes and only rarely sometimes do I feel the financial aspect of it, but cheating never. I feel that the fact prostitutes are available,stop men from cheating..and our,for want of a better word, usage,of them,is a marital safety valve....as and if your punting hotcakes hold, you'll realise how many blokes actually use Escorts,prostitutes,bookers etc. Take all the advice about phones,etc as it's very important..but never chastise yourself emontionally.

[standardpostage]

Shower before you go, or when you get there. Service providers expect a clean body.

You could just try a massage with a happy ending, for your first encounter.

If you've had sex 10 times (with your partner) already this year, your lucky 

[Slow grinder]

And definitely,definitely, DO NOT GO BARE...it increases any guilt aspect to massive mental proportions... "Oh God what if I've given her (the wife/partner) something"! You'll experience that emotion anyway, so read on here about Getting yourself checked regularly..loads of Good advice for you. Research is KEY..and while there's some rubbish written on here,it's a brilliant place to learn...from our mistakes,and bloody he'll we ALL still make them, to actual practical advice.

[SpaceRaiderDave]

You could just try a massage with a happy ending, for your first encounter.

If you are still getting sex from your wife then sensual massages are a good option. They are cheaper, less swapping of bodily fluids, and easier for last minute appointments.   

[JasonsAllRound]

I’d agree with some advice on this thread about trying a sensual massage first. It’s less expensive and it’s a handjob, so less risky, less guilt  all round. Just beware to not go home covered in oil… try and get one with a shower or shower as soon as you get in. Also, don’t search for services using the home wifi, gumtree etc can show up on all phones using the network and what you’ve been searching for on the gumtree site!

[Sibiu]

I've been punting for over 40 years as my wife was always tired and was never particularly interested in sex, and certainly not adventurous. Getting her to ever wear a pair of stockings was a major triumph. We have not had sex for 25+ years. I've just told her last month that this cannot continue and that I'm going to look for sex outside the marriage. She doesn't want a divorce and nor do I. Since then, apart from one day when she said her backlash piece, she's been sweetness and light.

If the OP is having sex >5 times a year with the wife then he's one of the lucky ones.

And this afternoon will be my first punt since telling her I'm looking elsewhere for fun.

[Dipper]

Some absolutely priceless advice here for you G55. Lifesaving stuff, perhaps even literally.

Please take note, and happy punting. 

[maxxblue]

I’d agree with some advice on this thread about trying a sensual massage first. It’s less expensive and it’s a handjob, so less risky, less guilt  all round. Just beware to not go home covered in oil… try and get one with a shower or shower as soon as you get in. Also, don’t search for services using the home wifi, gumtree etc can show up on all phones using the network and what you’ve been searching for on the gumtree site!

I understand that this is highly unlikely as it involves logging into the router settings and searching the logs, though I am happy to be corrected?

[misterm]

Maybe more likely if you have some sort of internet filter setup for kids.

The other possibility is that Gumtree could target ads based on your external IP address

[jimbobted]

I don't regard it as cheating as I absolutely do not want an affair. It's just sex. Sex at home dwindled to a few times a year so I started fucking prostitutes. Sex at home has now dwindled to nothing at all for several years.

Practical tips, always shower before leaving the prossies place and take a bottle of the shower gel you use at home, and whatever deodorant or aftershave you use. Ensure you smell of you when you get home.
Use incognito mode when using this website and adultwork, ensure there are no cookies or auto form fill ins left, especially these days now that you're phone browsing etc mirrors to all devices with the same Google account etc.

[IAmNotFamous]

As others have mentioned you need to escape from the mindset this is cheating. Otherwise it will be in your head and your lil one won’t be able to stand to attention.

Consider this as a human need. The need to be intimate, that closeness, the touches, body language that says I want you and you want me. We’re social animals and we need this. All that disappears in a marriage. It happens. I’m from the school of thought that marriage is a societal concept that goes against the grain of human nature which is to spread our seed far and wide as possible.

[Johnnyb0y]

This hobby is very addictive. When I started punting I just could not believe how easy it was e.g. within 30 minutes of a 1 minute call and two texts I had another woman’s legs over my shoulder and I was fucking her senseless. I was like a kid in a sweet shop and I wanted to try everything.  In the first year I was like a twenties rampant sex maniac.  Don’t underestimate how the pent up demand in your head may play out if you decide to unleash the beast within.

I was unlucky in my first years as it took me 3 years after punting to find UKP.  The quality of punting greatly improved after finding UKP which also saved my wallet which was probably unsustainable.

[WelshClipper]

My advice is similar....

When you start, paying a couple hundred quid may not seem like much. When I started, I paid 300 regularly and even hit 500 once. I was so taken up by the notion that these women were presenting me with their bodies and ergo I justified what I was spending.

Now I see less wgs each year rather than six in a row, plus I spend a lot less on each one. Yet I am having just as much fun.

In the beginning you will get the “kid in a kandy shop” feeling, my advice is keep to what you can afford plus keep to the number you need to satisfy your cravings.

Most of all, its a hobby so have fun and go your own way. There is no such thing as the “normal” punter.

 

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Whilst on the cheating subject if you have a peruse of that Mumsnet site your'll see that any bloke who strays and sees an escort gets really hammered, wheras an affair with someone say from work is a lesser "crime"! I suppose that an escort if a pre mediated move whereas falling accidenlty for the office dolly burd is far more understandable.

And oddley enougth there will be an outcry for anyones husband partner etc seeing an Escort for the poor cheated woman involvbed if shes been anywhere nrar the barstard will be to get herself to the GUM clinic as soon as she can! That never seems to be mentioned if its a work affair!..

As to cheating?, well isnt the woman cheating her husband from his implied dues ;?..

[IAmNotFamous]

The implied dues are implied if the wife looks after themselves.

Once a man puts a ring on it , time breed Content. Wives tend to not look after themselves (which happens juggling motherhood with a job with wife duties) so look less attractive from the first time a couple met across a dark dance floor for the first time.

Unless hubby has a BBW fetish, or is broke, or not attractive, implied duties of a wife is the option.

But when hubby has the need to deposits their seed in a FAF 20 something supermodel, has the cash, why no punt?

Unless hubby leaves wifey for the SP, punting is harmless.

And for the OP…falling in love with a SP is different to emotional attachment syndrome. I should know. I have the T-shirt lol

[limarasa9]

Just want some advice really on first time punting and what to expect from a WG and wondering if i could preform on the 1st occasion with a stranger etc.

My situation also similar to yours. Started punting in April when the wife and kids were away on holiday. So it was quite a safe way to start as there was no chance of getting caught. Nowadays, it’s just lunch time punt when I am in the office in the city. Again, mostly safe as I would be spending rest of the afternoon in the office and by the time I get back home in the evening travelling via underground, bus etc.. the lunch time punt is all a distant memory 

Re 1st occasion with a stranger, in my case I was so excited that I finished in 10 minutes even though the SP was a B&S    When I started I wasn’t aware of UKP and relied solely on AW, at least you are an UKP member already and go for well reviewed girls and I am sure you’ll have an amazing time 

[Hollywell]

I agree about sticking to well reviewed girls.. aw feedback is generally useless but I do check it and if a punters revisited a couple of times I find that useful

[JasonsAllRound]

Maybe more likely if you have some sort of internet filter setup for kids.

The other possibility is that Gumtree could target ads based on your external IP address

It’s happened in other cases with the other half when I’ve been on auto trader looking at cars and she’d say about the brand of car I’d been looking at!… so I personally now do not connect my phone to the wifi as I already had a big data package, so it doesn’t matter now. I think she was suspicious for a few weeks, but it’s subsided now. Close call, but may not happen on everyone’s wifi..

[Thecunninglinguist]

I agree about sticking to well reviewed girls.. aw feedback is generally useless but I do check it and if a punters revisited a couple of times I find that useful

I also find it useful to check who they have seen and if either I have seen them or have them in a "to do" list somewhere. A better chance if you enjoy the same types.

[Gunner55]

Absolute amazing info guys, feeling much better and less guilty of even contemplating going down this route but a guy has needs 🍆💦💦
I will defo think of doing a happy endings massage for my first encounter and see how thing progress.
Hopefully will be posting reviews in the not so distant future.🤞

[Chazz]

Just a couple of things to add: Punting is like Pringles - one you pop you can't stop. After that first punt you'll be a punter, and there's no going back to just being a civvy.

 The other thing I found was that I stopped finding my wife attractive, and it ended up being me making excuses not to have sex with her on the very rare occasions that she was up for it. This can have a very jarring effect on your relationship, so it's something to watch out for.

Do your research and you shouldn't go far wrong. I've only ever come a cropper when I've skimped on my homework, which is sometimes all too easy when lil brain is in charge.

The final thing is DON'T FUCKING TELL ANYONE! (Except us lot on here of course!)

Oh yeah, try and enjoy yourself  - it's supposed  to be fun!

[Mmm1314]

Few additional tips:

1.  Learn to compartmentalise.  Takes time, but at the end of the day you’re not having an affair with emotional attachment, leaving her for someone else, merely seeing to your basic needs in a discrete stylee as she’s not meeting them.

2.  Smart phones and gadgets.  I’m tech savvy, turned off my Find my IPhone location and switched phone to airplane mode during punt.  Forgot I’d a cellular Apple Watch.  Wife phones watch when I’m about to pop during OWO with enthusiastic service provider.  Managed to switch to voicemail (told SP that work was phoning me) and called wife en-route home after punt (“Sorry dear, was on a work call”).  Won’t make that mistake again.

3.  Punting en route home from work a good option if you can leave early (“Got a physio appointment guys, leaving early”) and can get home around the same time-ish, with a wee bit of “traffic was brutal” wiggle room.  Keep a pack of baby wipes in your work bag for undercarriage cleaning duties prior to punt, quick wash at SPs jobs a good un.  Stash blue pills of choice in work bag or in discreet location in car.  Pop about 1.5-2 hours before punt.  Sorted.

Enjoy without guilt mate.  Cheers.

[shed]

Hi there, i am a long time lurker and i'm seriously thinking of going to a SP for the first time for sex.

You joined in 4 September 2022. So how can you be a long time lurker. Or have you been a previous member 

[myothernameis]

Hi there, i am a long time lurker.

You joined in 4 September 2022. So how can you be a long time lurker. Or have you been a previous member 

That's a fair point, and using the term, Im a long time lurker, is this something a new member would say

[alabama1]

Absolute amazing info guys, feeling much better and less guilty of even contemplating going down this route but a guy has needs 🍆💦💦
I will defo think of doing a happy endings massage for my first encounter and see how thing progress.
Hopefully will be posting reviews in the not so distant future.🤞

That doesn't sound too promising 

[pythondan]

One risk to consider is the danger of getting emotionally attached to an escort. Having regular sec with a hottie 20 years younger can easily trigger feelings and subsequent self delusion which can be difficult to deal with.

The best way to avoid this is to not see the same girl again until you have a bit of punting experience and understand that the girls are just doing their jobs and are not really that into you.

[Stevelondon]

The OP is getting some good advise.

If I had to concentrate in one aspect of punting it would be this.
I assume a lot of married blokes or those in partnerships. Might have that cheating guilt trip going on sometimes.
But I have always viewed punting as simply a sexual bit of fun with no intention of looking elsewhere and finding a mistress to have sex with. I think that is by far worse and is cheating.
If you want a mistress then leave your wife for fucks sake....be honest with yourself.

Paying for a bit of fun is totally different in my opinion.

Then again.......I've been wrong more than once on here

[IAmNotFamous]

The OP is getting some good advise.

If I had to concentrate in one aspect of punting it would be this.
I assume a lot of married blokes or those in partnerships. Might have that cheating guilt trip going on sometimes.
But I have always viewed punting as simply a sexual bit of fun with no intention of looking elsewhere and finding a mistress to have sex with. I think that is by far worse and is cheating.
If you want a mistress then leave your wife for fucks sake....be honest with yourself.

Paying for a bit of fun is totally different in my opinion.

Then again.......I've been wrong more than once on here

Spot on. Let’s pivot. Wife doesn’t cook everyday. Wife doesn’t look after child 24/7. Wife doesn’t clean or iron. So it’s like eating out. Is paying to eat outside cheating when the wife doesn’t cook. Paying a child minder, paying a cleaner or taking clothes to a laundrette. A wife doesn’t have time to do all wifey duties so husband outsources it.

Same thing with punting right?

Another pivot…how do we know that the wife isn’t punting herself with a male escort?

[datwabbit]

And definitely,definitely, DO NOT GO BARE...it increases any guilt aspect to massive mental proportions... "Oh God what if I've given her (the wife/partner) something"! You'll experience that emotion anyway, so read on here

I think this is right. If you're used to going bare with your wife it would be easy to follow the pattern with someone else. So you'll need to change your approach to make sure that you rubber up. Assume all sp's go bare with someone and all the associated risks. Make sure that you own responsibility for your safety.

[Simon1977]

If you've had sex 10 times (with your partner) already this year, your lucky 
[/quote]

Yes you are lucky mine reads Sex with the wife 5 Sexual Encounters of a better kind 4.
Defo go safe with a well reviewed girl and like all the advice given, give it military planning and create a good amount of time to change and shower.
Spot on advice all round.

[Doc Holliday]

If you are in a relationship and you have sex with someone else and without the knowledge and approval of your partner, then you are cheating.

By all means try and convince yourself it isn't, to ease your conscience ... but it is 

[limarasa9]

If you are in a relationship and you have sex with someone else and without the knowledge and approval of your partner, then you are cheating.

By all means try and convince yourself it isn't, to ease your conscience ... but it is 

This article has some interesting thoughts on sexless marriage: External Link/Members Only

[Stevelondon]

If you are in a relationship and you have sex with someone else and without the knowledge and approval of your partner, then you are cheating.

By all means try and convince yourself it isn't, to ease your conscience ... but it is 

Why ?

Why is it not simply thought of as having sex with womeone else whilst being married.
Is it a moral thing your on about ?

Or is this something to do with that religious ceremony some folk go through. The foresaking all others bit.
I think an awful lot of people get married and don't say stuff like that.

[Bonker]

I don't classify punting as cheating. I save that for my mistress.

[Slow grinder]

About 20 yrs ago,my wife and I went through a 'bad patch',which resulted in me leaving the family home and renting a place..the bad patch was caused by me having an affair with a woman at work. Even during that time when I was seeing another women..I still punted. Punting is just gratification i.e sex..and sex isn't about emotion...emotion during sex is ' love making' and we/ I don't make love to a SERVICE PROVIDER..sex is just sex ask people who Swing..better still ask the SP if she/he is cheating on their partner.

[Mutinyonthecounty]

Spot on. Let’s pivot. Wife doesn’t cook everyday. Wife doesn’t look after child 24/7. Wife doesn’t clean or iron. So it’s like eating out. Is paying to eat outside cheating when the wife doesn’t cook. Paying a child minder, paying a cleaner or taking clothes to a laundrette. A wife doesn’t have time to do all wifey duties so husband outsources it.

Same thing with punting right?

Another pivot…how do we know that the wife isn’t punting herself with a male escort?

Brilliant pal !! Hilarious. I love your logic. Honestly, that is quality thinking my friend.

Do you get your missus to sign up to a contract and a set of performance indicators which measure her performance against key deliverables like cooking, ironing, cleaning, food shopping, looking after the kids. Monthly performance reviews an all that.

It must be a right bugger and inconvenience when you have to outsource these basic household activities to a 3rd party because she’s not pulling her weight.

I can imagine the poor bugger entering the kitchen, and you are sat there impatiently tapping your pen on the table and looking at the MP (Marital Performance) wall chart with a look of utter disappointment, horror  and bemusement on your face. And she’s thinking “here we go again”.

“I regret to report that I’m going to have to outsource ironing again my dear. If this trend continues, I will be forced to consider placing you on monthly report. Furthermore, I see there is another shortfall in household disposable income, due to my need to satiate various depraved sexual desires which you refuse to provide, which I will point out to you is in clear breach of Regulation CW25DW25467X. Therefore, you leave me no choice but to propose a period of prolonged fiscal rectitude in order to steady the ship and allow me to continue satiating my sexual desires unhindered.”

She’s a lucky girl.

I’m not having a go mate. Quite the opposite, it’s just made me proper laugh. It would be boring if we all thought the same way though, would it not.

I see you’ve only been a member for a very short period of time and you have already made a significant contribution to this forum. You are a legend my friend !!

[Doc Holliday]

Why ?

Why is it not simply thought of as having sex with womeone else whilst being married.
Is it a moral thing your on about ?

Or is this something to do with that religious ceremony some folk go through. The foresaking all others bit.
I think an awful lot of people get married and don't say stuff like that.

To cheat is to commit a dishonest act. The key element is honesty. Cheating in a relationship involves infidelity ie breaking the rules of that relationship. Those rules may vary in relationships and indeed they do but to deviate from those rules without the knowledge or consent of the other partner is cheating.

The link from limarasa9 above to the two posts is a good read.

Punters frequently justify infidelity because it is just sex with no emotional attachement but unless your partner agrees on this it is 'cheating'

[bigandslick]

Never change your normal routine to punt. If you are always home at 7.00 then don’t come home at 8.00 because you have been punting.

Think about how you are going to fund it. Can you get the cash out of the bank without it being noticed?
I do the weekly supermarket shop and get £50 cash back every time then throw away the receipt. £200 a month converted to punting funds and am a hero for going to the supermarket every week.

Which supermarket does cashback (still?!)

[IAmNotFamous]

To cheat is to commit a dishonest act. The key element is honesty. Cheating in a relationship involves infidelity ie breaking the rules of that relationship. Those rules may vary in relationships and indeed they do but to deviate from those rules without the knowledge or consent of the other partner is cheating.

The link from limarasa9 above to the two posts is a good read.

Punters frequently justify infidelity because it is just sex with no emotional attachement but unless your partner agrees on this it is 'cheating'

The other definition of cheating is it’s cheating if you get caught. The cheeky foul when the referee isn’t looking.

If the other party isn’t aware, then how will they ever know about the cheating/rule breaking?

[IAmNotFamous]

Brilliant pal !! Hilarious. I love your logic. Honestly, that is quality thinking my friend.

Do you get your missus to sign up to a contract and a set of performance indicators which measure her performance against key deliverables like cooking, ironing, cleaning, food shopping, looking after the kids. Monthly performance reviews an all that.

It must be a right bugger and inconvenience when you have to outsource these basic household activities to a 3rd party because she’s not pulling her weight.

I can imagine the poor bugger entering the kitchen, and you are sat there impatiently tapping your pen on the table and looking at the MP (Marital Performance) wall chart with a look of utter disappointment, horror  and bemusement on your face. And she’s thinking “here we go again”.

“I regret to report that I’m going to have to outsource ironing again my dear. If this trend continues, I will be forced to consider placing you on monthly report. Furthermore, I see there is another shortfall in household disposable income, due to my need to satiate various depraved sexual desires which you refuse to provide, which I will point out to you is in clear breach of Regulation CW25DW25467X. Therefore, you leave me no choice but to propose a period of prolonged fiscal rectitude in order to steady the ship and allow me to continue satiating my sexual desires unhindered.”

She’s a lucky girl.

I’m not having a go mate. Quite the opposite, it’s just made me proper laugh. It would be boring if we all thought the same way though, would it not.

I see you’ve only been a member for a very short period of time and you have already made a significant contribution to this forum. You are a legend my friend !!

Oooh, think you found out what I do in my professional life 😉 given what you’ve written mirrors what I do in my work life means we’re in the same field 😉

Glad I could make people smile. Life is miserable and I aim to give our members some cheer 👍🏼

[Doc Holliday]

The other definition of cheating is it’s cheating if you get caught.

So if I burgle your house and don't get caught I haven't committed a crime?

[Stevelondon]

The other definition of cheating is it’s cheating if you get caught. The cheeky foul when the referee isn’t looking.

If the other party isn’t aware, then how will they ever know about the cheating/rule breaking?

Totally agree. Because this is the real world and not the moralistic (out of a dictionary) explanation the Doc wheels out.

An ace up your sleeve at the poker table is cheating.

Let’s say you’re in a loving relationship with a wonderful woman. The only problem is the physical side of things is terrible and always has been. You’re together because everything else within the marriage is perfect.
You have a decision to make. Punt or seek out an affair with another woman.
The affair of course brings into play all kinds of emotional issues.
The punt doesn’t.

Let’s say in this particular story. You know that if you told your wife about your punting it would cause her emotional stress. The fact she suspects (because after all you are a man with needs) is ok with her. Just as long as you are discreet about it.

Is it cheating. Or is it being considerate. 😂