External Link/Members OnlyGetting there: Samya is in an industrial estate / business park in the south of Cologne. I took tram 16 and got off at Michaelshoven - this takes about 30 minutes from the city centre. Once you're at the tram stop it's less than a ten minute walk to get to the club. If driving there's a small car park, so unless you get there early you'll have to park in the street.
Admission price: It's 50 Euro to get in - and food and beer is free. The food was passable (and includes an elephant-leg kebab); beer was reasonable although not up to the standard of what I had in the city centre pubs. Still, free beer is not to be sniffed at.
Punting price: The base cost is 50 Euro per half-hour, which gets you OW and sex. If you want extra services you need to find a WG willing to provide them, then haggle.
What it's like: I got there at 8pm on a Saturday night, and my initial thought was Jesus it's busy in here. I got a big locker but not a small locker for my wallet. I think if I was an hour later I wouldn't have had a locker at all, as around this time I started to see punters in normal clothes, rather than the robe. The basement has the lockers, showers and an area for some peace and quiet. The ground floor has the bar area, kitchen, outside space for smoking and a few rooms. The first floor is rooms plus a sun terrace, and the second floor has rooms and the cinema (initially showing German football, but was later switched to porn and is another place you can have sex). Altogether there are 32 private rooms - the keys are in a big bowl at reception so you can tell if there's availability.
The WGs: Can't fault this place for choice - there must have been at least 60 in the place. Decent mix of body types - most of them were in underwear but some were wearing short dresses, a few wandering around topless and one dressed in a Wonder Woman outfit. Aside from a few rough-looking ones I'd have shagged 90% of them based on looks and figure. Maybe half of them just stood around and waited for you to approach them, and the other half approached me.
Punt 1: I hadn't finished scanning all the girls when I saw Milla, who was a 6' 3" German with a curvy body and E-cup tits in her thirties. I've had a long-standing desire to shag a woman taller than me, but being a tall man myself I'd not had the opportunity until this point. Straight over to her - unfortunately she didn't offer kissing or OWO, but that was never going to put me off. Into the room for some OW (not had that for years and it just felt weird), before lying on the bed and letting her ride me whilst playing with her tits. I was passive during this punt as I wanted to string it out for as long as I could.
Punt 2: After a short turnaround I was back in the bar and looking for OWO. Ended up going with Irina - she said she was half-Russian and half-German but she had a real gypsy look about her (aged about 30). Another tall woman with an athletic body; after some haggling I agreed to pay an extra 30 Euro for DFK and OWO. By this time all the rooms were taken, so rather than wait I opted to shag her in the back of the cinema. This was a first for me, but it's dimly lit and I wasn't bothered if some punters were looking at my arse pumping away. She delivered DFK and OWO pretty well and was a very good punt, but rather spoilt things at the end by claiming we'd agreed an extra 50 Euro, not 30.
Punt 3: Had some food and recuperation, then spotted Paula (a Romanian). I'd not seen her in the bar before now and given her looks and body (in my view the best of all the girls there that evening) she must be in high demand. I'd put her at no older than 25 and she had a fantastically firm body - one of those women you'd look at and think 'I'd love to fuck her brains out' - and I did just that. Once again it took place in the cinema due to all the rooms being taken and I didn't want to wait any longer to get stuck in. I was managing my funds by this point so didn't ask for extras. The memory that sticks out from this punt is that there was another couple shagging about a metre from us and they suddenly got very loud - I looked over and Paula grabbed my face, turned it back to her and said 'Look at me when you're fucking me'!
Punt 4: After finishing with Paula I had some more food, and then thought I may as well stay at the bar, drink free beer and have my ego massaged by WGs approaching me and asking if I wanted to fuck them. Natasha (a Russian) approached me, started to twerk against my crotch and to my surprise I felt myself getting hard again. Being a short woman she's not the type I would normally go for, but her body was tidy enough and she'd grabbed my interest. There was about a five minute wait to get a room key (and it was nearly 1am). She wanted an extra 50 Euro for OWO (and didn't want to kiss), so I just went for the basic punt. She rode me with impressive vigour for that time of the evening and I had to change positions so that I controlled the pace and didn't come too early.
Getting home: I had some more beer and left around 2am - the reception desk called a cab for me and it cost 25 Euro to get back to my hotel (in the city centre just north of the station). The tram does run all night if you want to save some cash.
What I'd do differently: I'd get there by six pm - there must have been over 200 punters in the club and it was very warm and busy. Alternately if you go in the summer then the roof terrace would come into play and it wouldn't feel so crowded. I'd also check hotel prices before booking the flight as there was some sort of exhibition on and I ended up paying more than I'd want to for my hotel. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and I will return.
