As it looks as though I will be out of action for a while , just making myself useful by a few from the archive. Hopefully I will be fit again in the future and be able to post positive reviews. There are a host of good experiences I have had in recent times in Oxford (before I finally depart).
This one is of particular relevance as it significantly changed my view of the take-the-money-and-run tourers that visit. The particular tactic of upping rates to London levels when here, is one of the reasons for many of my posts containing the phrase:
'flounce into town deluded into believing we are all Lord LoadsaMoney von Richfuck of Chipping Norton'
This one though mainly taught me a serious lesson in doing far more research. Happened some months back. Apologies for the War&Peace - hopefully the summary is good enough
Link:External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyBackground:I was heading out of town for a few days break, but this profile popped up on a Sunday and sparked my interest:
- straight, no BS profile with genuine pics, including full face
- good range of services available (pretty much zero 'at discretion' and extras)
- in my normally preferred age range (30-50)
- most importantly, the 'novelty factor' of not being EE or Brit. I have spent the bulk of my working career either in the US or dealing with Americans so would make a refreshing change to 'chew the cud' and share experiences. Most critically I have, for many decades been distracted in business meeting by highly skilled American females, beautifully groomed in expensive business attire - pure sexual dynamite, that combination of brains & beauty!
So, spur of the moment, delayed travel to later the next day and planned a testride first, followed if all went well, by a longer visit when I got back at the end of the week
Comms:As she was showing 'not available' (probably still travelling) sent off AW mail with subject of proposed meeting, with a few obligatory compliments and (with warning to ignore if she chose) a few lines of humorous introduction and list of services required (other than OWO, nothing much out of the ordinary), plus my distaste of 'erotowear'. Have found this method, if they can be arsed to read it, works well in minimising the interrogation process
Received reply a few hours later and arranged a meet for 09h00 the following day - 30min @ £80
On the morning, brief call to say I was on my way and received text details of venue, plus a map she had drawn up showing how to get around the recent roadworks!
Absolutely brilliant comms including the verbal instructions on how to get to the room, once I had called from the car park
Location:One of the N. Oxford hotels
Hotel meets are my least favourable venues - being a committed singleton I don't get the additional buzz of a seedy, illicit meeting and find the rigmarole of dodging staff etc. just a pain. Saying that, some of my top 10 have been in hotels - most notably AdeleMinx (Adele Bella on UKP)who on my visits seemed to have the extraordinary skill (probably due to her brilliant service) to make you feel your were not in a crap hotel room. As tourers generally seem to choose hotels rather than the more 'homely' option of serviced apartment, it is a necessary evil.
Appearance:Once pleasantries had been exchanged and cash counted, was able to take stock and this where things started to go downhill. She was in some form of lingerie (clearly skim-read my email and ignored dress 'request')
Being 6'6" tall myself, I am not in awe of tall females (although it is nice not to have to do a passable impression of the hunchback when standing chatting/sucking face).
Once the kit came off, the words 'gawky' and 'angular' sprung to mind and the obvious flaws, like the flabby stretch-marked gut, lack of 'shape'/curves....
I have met with many others of a similar age having endured the ravages of childbirth, that ooze sex appeal and have a toned feminine form (without being punishing exercise freaks which can lead to skeletal chests, bulging calves and sinewy arms in older females).
Facially, pleasant enough and despite my ex-wife's view that 'you would fuck anything from a dead policeman to a rusty bag of nails' I do have standards and if I met Kim in a social occasion, she may warrant a 2nd look (there is a minimal age difference), but I certainly would not be doing any spadework to get into her knickers, as there is very little sexual attraction.
the word
UNINSPIRING sums it up for me.
She though seems to be confident, bordering on delusional about her desirability (pics + profile in following post may explain this)
Action/inaction: (1st meeting)Having experienced most of my fantasies, I have no demands and instead, take the view that as the hooker has probably had waaay more shags than me, I would like to be entertained and taught some new tricks.
OWO is essential, DFK if done spontaneously is only a nice?, RO is dependant on me being in the mood, variety of covered sex dependant on both parties athleticism, CIM if required to finish ..
She had explained that she was wearing a wig (as she was growing her hair out for a new look) - No problem, I am aware that hair is not an erogenous zone and most females would rather have a donkey dick up the chutney, than having their hair mussed-up
After 10+ minutes of hugely entertaining chat - she is extremely friendly,intelligent and charming, it was time to get down to action.
There was no attempt at 'sensuality' and everything just came across as being ''polished antiseptic' and devoid of 'warmth'. There was no buildup (snogging/cuddling) and then the OWO, despite all the standard gazing eye contact,rhythm & depth variety etc. it was just ......clinical
There was no effort made to allow/encourage interaction from me e.g repositioning for groping/fingering - The line in her profile
What is your biggest turn on? Being fingered with strong, slightly cold fingers.is clearly bullshit. I have long arms but it would have necessitated a visit to a chiropractor after to sort out the back pain from having to stretch as far as a (not very appealing) tit
The much promoted 'toy box' did not make an appearance.
While she was probably trying to 'manage' the session this just came across as control-freakery. You would expect more from someone of so much experience to realise that things were not going brilliantly and come up with a new plan. Don't come with 'I am not a mind-reader crap'
(It is not unusual for me to come within minutes from a skilled technician).
For the duration of this cocksucking, I just got to thinking
'I might as well just cut my dick off and leave her to work on it, whilst I go for a walk down to the foyer and get a coffee'
I had considered having condom applied, but I just could no longer be arsed to go through the effort of fucking, so with much effort on my part (sweat pouring off my forehead), bolt was shot.
Whilst my eyes were still clamped shut and the little fella still spurting vainly away, was shocked out of my euphoria by fake? gagging/hacking and coughing the muck back over me, followed by
"Ooh, did I spoil the moment?" (note no "sorry" in that) accompanied with doe eyes and fluttering of eyelashes.
Why do they think we are all that dumb to fall for the 'doe-eyed look'?Then mumbling of "I always gag before before midday"
(
so why take bookings before 12?).
I am not into 'mucky sex' and do not expect swallowing (a discretionary service of hers) but getting rid of it surreptitiously in a wetwipe is preferable to the shock of hacking/spluttering/coughing....
Chatted, cleaned up and as I had already mentally planned a next meeting (as I had gone in with the 'testride' mentality) I said "thank you - I WILL see you again", too which I got the reply
"that’s is what they all say". I accept that it was meant to be sarcastic/humorous but I just got he sense of
"I could not really give damn as I will be putting a pin into the map. waltz into a new town and mug a few more dolts" Some pretence of encouraging repeat custom would have been nice
Action/inaction: (2nd meeting) 1hr @ £120
To cut a long story short - exactly the same scenario over an extended period - ended with exactly the same "did I spoil the moment?" doe-eyed routine - she MUST practise that in a mirror!
On both occasion, there was not a hint of clockwatching - why should she when she had to put so little effort in?
There was no suggestion that we had not 'clicked' - in fact the opposite
Verdict:I have shagged WG's that I similarly am not attracted to sexually, but they more than adequately make up by the services provided.
I have never had a problem with 'being managed' in a punt but in recent years, this is the worst example of avoidance - from 'bargain bucket EE' to £200+/hr 'courtesans' they all take the view 'let us have a fine fuck fest'. I then have the choice as to which bit of the menu I can feast on.
It is understandable when a WG feels the need to manage a meet for her own security. When it crosses the line (as it did here) and becomes avoidance, that is unacceptable.
I accept that on the 1st meeting I may have set the expectation too high, but the subsequent visit was approached with a healthy dose of realism.
Americans as a race are (in general) either reviled or revered.
If I fell into the former category, I would then 'choke one out before, admit defeat and have to rely on chemical assistance for a boner, pound away at every available orifice for the entire meet and endure the battle of wills' or
Like a significant segment of society, be fawningly awestruck and extremely grateful that I had been honoured to be allowed to be in her presence and heap fatuous praise.
Sadly it would require a major personality transplant on my behalf and considering my 1st hooker fuck was at about the time she was beginning to grow tits, I don't feel the need to change my tried&tested method
I would surmise that as we parted ways, her thought would be 'an aw shucks nice guy sap'
whilst I left just thinking
'Hugely fun chat but I have just had a most unsatisfying BJ in a Hoover-travelling-salesman crap hotel' - TWICE!
Summary:Pro
- exceptionally good comms, punctuality
- absolutely no hint of clockwatching Being so OCD on punctuality and not pushing boundaries, it was me constantly glancing at my watch
- hugely fun and entertaining intelligent chat
Neutral
- whilst not a phugly the whole picture was uninspiring - obviously I took age into consideration
Negative
- total absence of genuine warmth - just clinical (which is different to 'mechanical')
- a façade with just a hint of superiority 'I am far too bright to have to be doing this'
- uses the obvious intelligence and vast experience to manage the session to such as extent that it is cynical control-freakery resulting in 'denial of service'
- abysmal at performing the most basic service of gratifying dicksucking on TWO occasions,
In a total time of nearly 2hrs, not to leave sexually satisfied is unacceptable. Basic sex has changed very little since Adam was a boy!
Taking all the above into account, I can only make this a Negative (had I stuck to one meet, I would have considered a Neutral - hence why I came back for a 2nd try)
Addendum:Like (nearly) all other reviewers, I only discovered her prominent position under the heading of 'Issuing threats etc' in the UKP blacklist under one of her previous 'nom de fuk' of KimC. This more serious allegation is often overlooked by the slightly humorous attempt at masquerading as a punter and posting fake reviews.
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Topic: KimAmericanMILF - (Touring) Oxford (Read 2685 times)
