Punting accidents

[itk]

It’s be a great few days for me since Monday evening, decided to go on a punting frenzy almost. I’ll post reviews of WG’s in due course, but a brief summary is that Monday I had a punt, followed by a duo on Tuesday evening and then yesterday another punt.
I was on my way to a fourth of the week this afternoon, and while walking through the city en route to the punt, I stood half on/half off the kerb. Down I went feeling a bit of a tit, and carried on only to realise a few feet on I’d done something pretty bad to my ankle.
Fast forward a few hours and I’m sitting at home with my foot in a cast, so my punting has come to an abrupt halt for the 4-6 weeks.
Anyone else had any accidents punting or en route to a punt?

[winkywanky]

Ouch! Get well soon  .

Well I have to say, my wallet got badly assaulted on the way to a punt once.

[Naughtyboyuk]

Holy crap....assume you were day dreaming about the next hottie you were going to see, and what you were going to do to her, rather than focusing on where you were stepping !!

Look forward to the reviews of the punts of the week you did manage...and of course any review of the girl you were about to see when it happened (assuming it went ahead)

[winkywanky]

Not strictly an accident, but...I'm actually just remembering that a few years ago I got a speeding ticket on the way to a punt  .

A combination of being a bit late and driving with a boner. The boner soon subsided when I got pulled over. I can't remember what I said when the copper asked me why I was going so fast  .

[Happylad]

Not strictly an accident, but...I'm actually just remembering that a few years ago I got a speeding ticket on the way to a punt  .

 I can't remember what I said when the copper asked me why I was going so fast  .

"But Officer, I always drive this fast, and nobody`s ever complained before"

[winkywanky]

Erm, in my case not 

[Happylad]

Sorry, Must have been thinking of an equestrian Princess!

[threechilliman]

Not strictly an accident, but...I'm actually just remembering that a few years ago I got a speeding ticket on the way to a punt  .

A combination of being a bit late and driving with a boner. The boner soon subsided when I got pulled over. I can't remember what I said when the copper asked me why I was going so fast  .

I think I'd have just said I were on my way to a punt. If the copper punts himself you might just get away with it. 'On your way and enjoy and don't forget to pop a review up!'

You never know....

[winkywanky]

That's actually a good point, I wouldn't mind betting a few rozzers are on here, either 

[ImDaveMate]

I broke a ladys shoe
I like high heels so when she was in the shower I slipped into hers toppled over and snapped the heel 

[mancguy0161]

I got a parking ticket last year as my punt ran over quite a bit.
Horses for courses as I wasn't charged for extra hour on the punt though!!!

[redfox_uk]

Back in 2002 I had an overnight at my house with an SP I knew well.
In the morning she wanted to iron a blouse - the iron was stored in the spare bedroom. I had to clamber over a bed to retrieve the iron and as I was about to step off the bed my foot slipped and I went over on my ankle. My ankle really swelled up and it hurt like hell. I'd agreed to give the girl a lift home and I proceeded to drive her home - a round trip of 20 miles. Looking back I don't know how I managed to drive as I was in loads of pain. In the end a friend drove me to A&E and the xray showed that I'd chipped a bone so I was in a cast for a while.

[Happylad]

I was once bitten by a w.g.`s cat.  Does that count?  It had gone to sleep on my overcoat while I was attending to its mistress and didn`t like being disturbed when we`d finished.

I was also once knocked down by a rather large wolfhound, but apparently it was merely pleased to see me.

[winkywanky]

I was once bitten by a w.g.`s cat.  Does that count? 

Did you try stroking the wrong pussy?

[Happylad]

Did you try stroking the wrong pussy?

No - just picked it up by the scruff of its neck, but I`d stroked and licked the right pussy, so perhaps it was just jealous.

[winkywanky]

Cats can be like that.

I remember an old gf, all of her (3) cats would casually wander into the bedroom as we were fucking and stare at me. I always made the effort to just stare right back at them. One day, as I went to put my shoes on to leave, one of the little darlings had left a little 'present' in my shoe  .

[solway]

Timing  belt  broke on the car.
Had to join the AA  to get home  but still managed a blowjob  in the car before the  girl took off  in a taxi.

[Littlefoot]

Punt was in a house. Requested to remove shoes downstairs. Follow her upstairs, a fantastic view of her undercarriage!  As requested short skirt, no knickers. (Kind of vision you could never, ever forget!  ) snap out of it you fool..... anyway... punt out of the way, shower, dress. Go down stairs first (good job she’s following me and not in front). Halfway down my socks slip on the carpet, akin to slipping on black ice. I bang my head as I fall backwards, and slide down the rest of stairs flat on my back. Proper shook me up! My skin the full length of my left lower arm had been scraped off. 
Sore!

[freeze44]

Punt was in a house. Requested to remove shoes downstairs. Follow her upstairs, a fantastic view of her undercarriage!  As requested short skirt, no knickers. (Kind of vision you could never, ever forget!  ) snap out of it you fool..... anyway... punt out of the way, shower, dress. Go down stairs first (good job she’s following me and not in front). Halfway down my socks slip on the carpet, akin to slipping on black ice. I bang my head as I fall backwards, and slide down the rest of stairs flat on my back. Proper shook me up! My skin the full length of my left lower arm had been scraped off. 
Sore!

Sounds very painful but a funny image!Did the wg stop herself laughing?? 

[Littlefoot]

Sounds very painful but a funny image!Did the wg stop herself laughing?? 

No actually she was very concerned (or acted so). Must have been a frightening sight for her, the way I went. She probably laughed when I left. 

[freeze44]

No actually she was very concerned (or acted so). Must have been a frightening sight for her, the way I went. She probably laughed when I left. 

Good on her! Bet you the talk of the wg's though! Can just imagine it....nearly had not so light littlefoot punter kill himself falling down my stairs!! 

[webpunter]

There was a similar thread forever ago on here
Best one i recall was a punter deciding to ignore VERY specific instructions from said burd bout how to find her apartment in the complex
Turn left through the gate & follow the path round to the opposite corner etc, then .... something like that
At night the geezer decides to take a more direct route walking across the gardens - virtually pitch black
All going well until he steps into an ornamental pond

[Littlefoot]

Good on her! Bet you the talk of the wg's though! Can just imagine it....nearly had not so light littlefoot punter kill himself falling down my stairs!! 

 

I went back a couple of times, both times I removed my socks before tackling the stairs.  I won’t go back now her rates have gone silly! 

[Fuzzyduck]

It's a dangerous pastime: I was banging this SP in a crouched doggy position (my feet on the bed, knees bent at 90 degrees; hands gripping her hips; she's just face down and hanging on) and the bed breaks. I sort of wobble sideways, take one step back and slip off the bed. End up in a star position on the floor having banged my head with my boner dangling in the wind wondering what the fuck happened. Not my most glorious moment.

[Littlefoot]

There was a similar thread forever ago on here

Yeah I’m sure there was, but can’t find it. I’m sure I told my story on there. If someone finds that thread be interesting how accurately I remembered that accident.

[standardpostage]

No, not yet, touch wood 

[Littlefoot]

There was a similar thread forever ago on here

This one?

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=159142.msg1741737#msg1741737

[Discreet_welshman]

It's a dangerous pastime: I was banging this SP in a crouched doggy position (my feet on the bed, knees bent at 90 degrees; hands gripping her hips; she's just face down and hanging on) and the bed breaks. I sort of wobble sideways, take one step back and slip off the bed. End up in a star position on the floor having banged my head with my boner dangling in the wind wondering what the fuck happened. Not my most glorious moment.

I need a new screen, just spat my beer over it 
Worst I had was severe cramp resulting in me pulling out and dancing round the room like an idiot trying to get rid of it while also trying not to scream too loudly.. Lets just say there was a lot of grunting and groaning for the wrong reason, neighbours must of thought she was really good that day...

DW

[freeze44]

I need a new screen, just spat my beer over it 
Worst I had was severe cramp resulting in me pulling out and dancing round the room like an idiot trying to get rid of it while also trying not to scream too loudly.. Lets just say there was a lot of grunting and groaning for the wrong reason, neighbours must of thought she was really good that day...

DW

  nice one! rub it better love...yes the cramp and cock ffs 

[Adoniron]

Once put petrol in my new diesel car on the way to a punt. The girl was very good about it and I ended up seeing her several times over the space of a few years.

[Bogof60]

Thinking Ohh I need a fart on the way to a Punt.
Yes You've guessed it 

A little time was spent in her bathroom before I felt I was ready to indulge in any Fun
Thankfully no stains on the underwear 

[freeze44]

Thinking Ohh I need a fart on the way to a Punt.
Yes You've guessed it 

A little time was spent in her bathroom before I felt I was ready to indulge in any Fun
Thankfully no stains on the underwear 

  A shart! oh well....shit happens!

[Fuzzyduck]

I need a new screen, just spat my beer over it 

Sadly she didn't think it was as funny as you did. "You broke my faaarcking bed!!".

[65percent]

A few years ago at a flat in Earls Court shared by 3 hot EE WGs. Shared a shower with the one I’d booked at the start of the punt; shower was one over the bathtub which itself seemed quite narrow and enclosed by a screen. When it came time for us to switch places so she was under the shower, it necessitated an awkward bath dance shuffle to rotate. My foot slipped on the curve of the bath and, seemingly in bullet-time, I fell like a fucking redwood out of the bath, the adjacent sink breaking my fall. How I didn’t take the sink out with me I’ll never know, but I got off extremely lightly considering, and ended up with only a decent bruise on my arm - which later required an imaginative explanation - and a more bruised ego as I must’ve looked a right cunt, falling naked arse over tit, legs akimbo.

Still fucked her, but was preoccupied and emasculated by the shame of it and knowledge that I would be the laughing stock with her mates as soon as I was out the door. Cringe thinking about it even now 

[B4bcock]

I was buzzed into a block of flats then given a text message "Room xx on 3rd floor, use stairs, don't take lift."  When I got into the room she explained a punter was on his way up to see her the previous day when the lift broke down and he was stuck inside it for 40 minutes before it was sorted.   I don't know if he's on this forum, but there is a Bristol guy out there who tried to see a Hungarian lady recently who has quite a story to tell.

[winkywanky]

If it's that 'good' a story he probably won't want to tell it  .

[Hongkongphooeysucks]

Driving to a punt early last year I hit a curb and took a chunk out of my alloy and got myself and instant flat tyre. Had to cancel the punt. Had the wheel and tyre replaced only to go down a crater of a pothole and destroyed a second tyre. Cost me a small fortune.

[Dipper]

I always take extra care in those slippery parlour showers.

Or any shower on a punt.... often visualise myself out cold on the deck after some incident with the radox
 

[threechilliman]

Driving to a punt early last year I hit a curb and took a chunk out of my alloy and got myself and instant flat tyre. Had to cancel the punt. Had the wheel and tyre replaced only to go down a crater of a pothole and destroyed a second tyre. Cost me a small fortune.

Reminds me of when I set off for a punt. Hadn't gone 50 yds when I collected a large piece of metal in a tyre. The tyre went down quicker than my hard on. The bird was undestanding and we rearranged for a day or two later. Did amuse me though as I fiddled with my wheel nuts when she should have been fiddling with my nuts.

[boardyhell]

Cats can be like that.

I remember an old gf, all of her (3) cats would casually wander into the bedroom as we were fucking and stare at me. I always made the effort to just stare right back at them. One day, as I went to put my shoes on to leave, one of the little darlings had left a little 'present' in my shoe  .

used to have an overnight with a high class lady, she had 3 tiny mutts ,one was minute who used to try jump onto the bed
annoying little fucks .yapping all the time ,but she was a bit special
it brought the danger home to me ,when she said what ever i put in my mouth they think is food

[winkywanky]

Were they sausage dogs?   

[webpunter]

Donkeys ago my regular M1 pit stop R&T was @ Soft Touch in Northampton.  15 mins or so off the motorway - ideal

On one visit the burd wasn't quite ready - no doubt tugging noshing or shagging her punter

The maid - who recognised me - asked me if i'd like to take a look round as some of the rooms had been refurbished

In the jacuzzi suite i mentioned with 'johnsons' & soapy bubbles, what could possibly go wrong ?

The maid said funny you should say that as they had a punter who slipped & dislocated his collarbone 

She got one of the reg punters to help the bloke out of said jacuzzi & a couple of the burds dried him off & got him dressed

She offered to call an ambulance - to which the distressed punter looked like he'd seen a ghost 

The punter drove the bloke into Northampton who could then say he'd tripped on the pavement & call an ambulance

By way of a thank-you the punter was treated to another full hour on the house

Thats being good spirited

I would done another visit to ST but the line up has headed south & remained at best very average   

The wet room for nuru or soapy stuff has subsequently also been refurbed so it wouldn't do any harm as a one off return pit-stop, choosing carefully

I always take extra care in those slippery parlour showers.

As an aside the best shower i've been in at a parlour was @ SS

[Liverpool]

I went to the Soho walkup at 3 Lisle Street a few years back. It had been raining heavily. After the punt I had to negotiate slippery steps on the way down. Slipped and fell and broke my ankle.

[webpunter]

unlucky 
at least on the way out rather than way in

I went to the Soho walkup at 3 Lisle Street a few years back. It had been raining heavily. After the punt I had to negotiate slippery steps on the way down. Slipped and fell and broke my ankle.

[winkywanky]

I went to the Soho walkup at 3 Lisle Street a few years back. It had been raining heavily. After the punt I had to negotiate slippery steps on the way down. Slipped and fell and broke my ankle.

Did you manage to crawl along the pavement a little, so that when the ambulance came to scrape you up you could at least give the impression of not necessarily having been up to no good?

[nant]

It’s be a great few days for me since Monday evening, decided to go on a punting frenzy almost. I’ll post reviews of WG’s in due course, but a brief summary is that Monday I had a punt, followed by a duo on Tuesday evening and then yesterday another punt.
I was on my way to a fourth of the week this afternoon, and while walking through the city en route to the punt, I stood half on/half off the kerb. Down I went feeling a bit of a tit, and carried on only to realise a few feet on I’d done something pretty bad to my ankle.
Fast forward a few hours and I’m sitting at home with my foot in a cast, so my punting has come to an abrupt halt for the 4-6 weeks.
Anyone else had any accidents punting or en route to a punt?

kerb crawling? 

Nant.

[Dipper]

Donkeys ago my regular M1 pit stop R&T was @ Soft Touch in Northampton.  15 mins or so off the motorway - ideal

On one visit the burd wasn't quite ready - no doubt tugging noshing or shagging her punter

The maid - who recognised me - asked me if i'd like to take a look round as some of the rooms had been refurbished

In the jacuzzi suite i mentioned with 'johnsons' & soapy bubbles, what could possibly go wrong ?

The maid said funny you should say that as they had a punter who slipped & dislocated his collarbone 

She got one of the reg punters to help the bloke out of said jacuzzi & a couple of the burds dried him off & got him dressed

She offered to call an ambulance - to which the distressed punter looked like he'd seen a ghost 

The punter drove the bloke into Northampton who could then say he'd tripped on the pavement & call an ambulance

By way of a thank-you the punter was treated to another full hour on the house

Thats being good spirited

I would done another visit to ST but the line up has headed south & remained at best very average   

The wet room for nuru or soapy stuff has subsequently also been refurbed so it wouldn't do any harm as a one off return pit-stop, choosing carefully

As an aside the best shower i've been in at a parlour was @ SS

That’s what you call good service. 

[Liverpool]

Did you manage to crawl along the pavement a little, so that when the ambulance came to scrape you up you could at least give the impression of not necessarily having been up to no good?

Thankfully it's not far from a taxi rank so got a taxi.

[winkywanky]

Ah, a local cabbie, he will have known exactly what you'd been up to   .

He wasn't in a red cab by any chance, was he? 

[Steelworker]

Had lined up a punt few months ago with girl I really enjoy fucking while OH out. A real star and hadn’t seen her for a while. Not far away from house, some uninsured and banned prick drives into me while I’m stationary. Had to message the girl to say I’m not coming and the reason. Most expensive non punt I’ve ever had as I paid the excess on the policy.