Had a nightmare week trying to organise a punt, unresponsive AW girls, agency favourites not available at the times I wanted, even my favourite massage place was fully booked, so ended up committing a cardinal sin.
Comms: Easy, call to receptionist with requirements then texts to organise.
Heads gone percentage: 100% - I ignored my own rule that any £150 agency hooker is that price for a reason, they are getting £100 tops after pimp & agency fees and with very few exceptions do the minimum work possible.
The girls:
External Link/Members OnlyDora: Romanian, brunette, advertised at 20, mid 20s for sure, 5’8”, size 8, 34C natural tits, slim, tanned, goodish looking, slightly quirky personality.
I saw her a while ago with another shite, departed girl, she carried the meeting then and without her I may be dangling by the neck from the Michelin Man at Brompton Cross.
She looks like the photos, they are polished, elongated a bit but t's her, but has been in the game a looooooooong time and it shows, however, despite her longevity in the business she does at least try to engage, albeit with the false bonhomie of a Z list celebrity meeting pissed up peasants at a nightclub PA.
Her body is starting to show signs of droop, her tits are not as perky, her arse as peachy or pussy as tight as it once was, her smile is more forced and she is going through the motions of however many yards of cock she sucks and fucks a week.
External Link/Members OnlyLea: French, blonde, stated 25, that was ten years ago, stated 5’6”, reckon she’s a couple inches shorter, size 6, 32B – the photoshopper must be an award winner because he made her look attractive, she has an ugly demeanour and a face as long as an undertakers tape measure.
All natural, all skinny, saggy tits, saggy arse, pale, light tan, wrinkled, pinched face, permanent forced expression in repose, trying to smile or attempting conversation. A total waste of time and space with the warmth and engagement of an overweight traffic warden in a heatwave.
Oh, and if she’s French I’m Charles fucking Aznavour, evidence: she couldn’t tell me which part of France she was from, she had clean shaven armpits, didn’t reek of garlic, there was no string of onions hanging on the headboard and my attempted conversation in rudimentary French was met with a blank stare.
Location: A grotty flat on the wrong [inward facing] side of the building, not spotless, crappy bathroom with mixer attachment on the taps and a few clean towels, certainly not enough to cope with the spunk flow of the day ahead, thankfully I was in early doors.
1 hour £300
Services promised: DFK, OWO, DATY, protected sex, CIM, CIF
Delivery: This was somewhat different and I ended up with a full house in bad punt bingo.
We got naked, not in a sensual way, more in a get your kit off to try on some gear in a changing room way.
"It's so big bby" they said in unison, almost as if it was rehearsed, ha!
They each produced a wet wipe and went to work on my cock and balls.
Dora shallow French kissed, Lea offered the tip of her tongue through her teeth, it was weird.
When I deemed to touch Lea’s hair to push her mouth deeper than the tip of the tip of my cock after persuading her that OWO meant without the condom she had got out of the bedside cabinet she said “Please don’t touch the hair, you not paid to touch my hair bbq”, I sighed inwardly.
Dora sucked deeper, probably took a good four inches so she was hardly gagging and used much too much hand, they briefly shared, one mouth either side while I stood, when I tried to maneuver Lea to my scrotum she recoiled as if she had an electric shock.
Bodies were generally put into positions where it was most difficult to gain entry and stray fingers resulted in a swift move.
I got on the bed and had them perform a basic double headed blowjob and using the sight of being shared by two naked birds reflected in the mirrors got me close so I said to Dora, time to make me cum.
I stood at the end of the bed with them on their knees in front of me and their laughable attempts at extracting my jizz led me to asking for lube and cracking one out over their bodies after they insisted “not the face, not the face bby”
The expression on Lea’s face when I unloaded was a wrinkle nosed, abhorrent equivalent of Deborah Meaden when some deluded cunt values their shitty startup at £4M.
The fucking baby wipes came out again and Lea used some pungent anti-bacterial spray on her hands, it was that strong smelling it might have been anti-corrosive.
I went to the bathroom to have a piss and clean up and returned to find them both furiously on their phones, Dora texting Kalida, her mate who is at home for a wedding, I told her to mention she had a shit review and allegedly a big arse and bad attitude, didn’t reveal the source, this was passed on with little hilarity.
Dora’s body at least is more than passable so I groped her and started kissing her as deep as possible while Lea nibbled my nipples before working her way down to admonish a shallow, head bobbing blow job.
I moved Dora down to join her and they eventually got me hard enough for a condom as Dora said “you want to fuck me bby?”
I fucked her, hard, deep and fast in cowgirl, it felt good, particularly as I imagined the ball stroking and gentle probing of my arse was by Lea’s tongue. Alas I looked down and she was lazily using her fingers with a blank expression on her face, staring off into the middle distance, at least it was blank until I said “I thought that was your tongue on my balls and arse” then it turned to thunderous.
Dora, to her credit, took a good, unflinching pounding and appeared to enjoy it, making the right noises, I got to the vinegar strokes, grunted like a young Tom Jones, she said “cum for me bby” and I shot my wad in the rubber.
55 minutes on the clock, I pulled out after the final pulse, the baby wipe brigade went to work again and poor old Lea started disinfecting her hands, she must have been exhausted after not even being shagged, just half hearted kissing, shallow blow job for a few minutes, light nipple sucking and, horror of horrors, taking a couple of pulses of a cum shot on her chest, she’ll probably have to take the rest of the day off. Dora had at least made some, albeit mechanical effort.
I went to the bathroom, cleaned up, returned to the bedroom to find them both, still naked, glued to their mobiles, I dressed and was ready before they looked up, they came to peck me on the cheeks and say "we had a great time bbq, come back soon" yeah, right.
Positives: Comms were good with the agency although the punters that had rated this duo highly obviously have low standards and I saw Pippa Middleton outside Stella McCartney’s shop, she is tiny but I would much rather have had a go on her.
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