Went to a fancy "party" in the West End a few years ago in a very nice black suit with a sheen on the cloth, had a couple of naked girls writhing on me, trousers were covered in fake tan, very pissed, very late home, only discovered it when I tiptoed upstairs, luckily missus was fast asleep and I got the whistle into the dry-cleaning bag and into the boot of my car sharpish.