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Author Topic: Funny mistakes on escort profiles  (Read 14737 times)

Offline Waterhouse

We've all heard of the so-called Girlfriend Experience – and I suppose Robinson Crusoe role-play might include a Girl Friday Experience – but a "passionate girl Fried experiance" is a new one on me.

I might try it sometime.

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She’s also “very spoken”.

 :D

Offline Vice Admiral

She’s also “very spoken”.

Your comment inspired me to read further in her profile – and this must be one of the most expressive, albeit muddled, descriptions in Western literature of a girl's losing of her virginity:

Describe the experience (when and where):  it happened 7 years ago. Staying alone with my boyfriend home to me .. She started to sit on my lips and down below .. I was full of the desire to feel her manhood so he came into power in me leaving only a gem of pleasure

(Or at least I think that's what she's describing.  A year or two ago Adult Work removed the question about the age at which a girl lost her virginity – presumably on the grounds that it was a bit pervy – but left in the follow-up question.  Which is a bit confusing for everyone.)



« Last Edit: September 15, 2022, 09:19:45 am by Vice Admiral »

Offline jonnw16

Your comment inspired me to read further in her profile – and this must be one of the most expressive, albeit muddled, descriptions in Western literature of a girl's losing of her virginity:

Describe the experience (when and where):  it happened 7 years ago. Staying alone with my boyfriend home to me .. She started to sit on my lips and down below .. I was full of the desire to feel her manhood so he came into power in me leaving only a gem of pleasure

(Or at least I think that's what she's describing.  A year or two ago Adult Work removed the question about the age at which a girl lost her virginity – presumably on the grounds that it was a bit pervy – but left in the follow-up question.  Which is a bit confusing for everyone.)

I agree I too thought it strange AW should leave the follow up "describe the experience" question having removed the "at what age" question.

Offline limarasa9


Online sparkus

"Slime" is always a good one when they mean slim.

Offline signy

Gotta see this 25 year old teen girl…  :crazy:

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Probably means she has been a teen for 25 years; so now around 38 in reality.

Offline Home Alone

We've all heard of the so-called Girlfriend Experience – and I suppose Robinson Crusoe role-play might include a Girl Friday Experience – but a "passionate girl Fried experiance" is a new one on me.

I might try it sometime.

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You'd have to find a bit of hot stuff to provide that kind of service, surely? :unknown:

I'll get me coat!

Online oddson1970

there is a thai girl in glasgow offering "boby to boby" massage....must be a lady boy eh?

Offline Gunner55

I seen one the other day, her profile said she was 23, but has reviews from clients from 2013, 2014, 2015 etc
Banned reason: Rule 7 no proxies and very strange behaviour Mr Journalist
Banned by: Iloveoral

Online FiveKnuckles

Yikes!!  :scare:  Unsure if this is an error.  "2.for me to fuck you and cum £30 extra"

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« Last Edit: October 10, 2022, 01:05:21 pm by FiveKnuckles »

Offline Blackpool Rock

Juicy Becky is Nigerian so i'm guessing something is lost in translation here but her headline is "I can make you drip for the rest of your life"  :scare:

I'm not making any STI allegations here but it just conjures up an image of your knob dripping puss after catching a dose  :scare:

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Offline Watts.E.Dunn

Juicy Becky is Nigerian so i'm guessing something is lost in translation here but her headline is "I can make you drip for the rest of your life"  :scare:

I'm not making any STI allegations here but it just conjures up an image of your knob dripping puss after catching a dose  :scare:

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She'd do well for herself finding someone who could take some decent pictires, that one she has looks like those ones on a police mugshot!!

Offline mr.bluesky

Juicy Becky is Nigerian so i'm guessing something is lost in translation here but her headline is "I can make you drip for the rest of your life"  :scare:

I'm not making any STI allegations here but it just conjures up an image of your knob dripping puss after catching a dose  :scare:

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She does claim to have good hair though so that's got to be worth a visit  :sarcastic: ( although she doesn't say where the good hair is )
« Last Edit: October 13, 2022, 06:18:38 am by mr.bluesky »

Offline Boundless

Gotta see this 25 year old teen girl…  :crazy:

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Funny what a diffence the letter A can make

Think little of yourself
Think a little of yourself

Offline Dixson

Yikes!!  :scare:  Unsure if this is an error.  "2.for me to fuck you and cum £30 extra"

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She has popped up in my area, and given her masculine facial pictures I am genuinely unsure if she’s a ladyboy or not. Reviews here seems to suggest not?


Offline Vice Admiral

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We are all familiar with Romanian profiles that promise a great deal more than is delivered in the flesh – but Karla sloppy bj's profile takes this to a whole new level of enthusiasm, eccentricity, bad spelling and intermittent incomprehensibility.

Instructor sex
I’m intrigued. Sounds fun.  But who gives the instructions and who obeys them?

Cum and feel my teen juicy pussy and boobs
Since Karla is 28, her pussy– however juicy it may be – hasn’t been “teen” for over eight years.  (But of course over-aged teens is an old chestnut.)

New napples slutty escort!
Translation, anyone?

Really enjoy rough anal sex, it make me squirt in fountains!!!
But from which orifice? 

Hello boys, I am going to keep this short and sweet like myself!
If only!  The profile rants on for another 30 lines.

I lke to do sex with slots of gentlemans
Fair enough.

My tits are wainthing for you!!
Again, fair enough.

New pictures in private gallery.
Er, no.  There’s just one picture there, entitled “Hit”.  Intellectual curiosity – and the importance of not presenting incomplete research – necessitated my paying my 60p.  The photograph is of Karla sitting in her underwear on a kitchen chair positioned back to front, with her back to the camera.  But “Hit”?  No, me neither.

« Last Edit: November 27, 2022, 10:16:12 am by Vice Admiral »

Offline adsjacko69

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is it just Mouse she does - few welsh guys on here maybe interested in sheep as well?  :sarcastic:

Offline rchab

I saw one recently who offered “riming” - suggests she’s turned to sex work because she can’t sell her poetry!


Offline jimbobted

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In the Q&A "Can I have a face pic?" "No, pleas don't ask. Respect my privacy"

Has a full face pic in her free gallery!

Offline Vice Admiral

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This (her capitals, not mine):  "I'M VERY SECUSSING YOUNG WOMAN WHO LOVES TO BE ATTACKED BY MEN OF ALL THEFTS!"

Offline Heph

Since quite a few of us aren't  too literate - the "should of" brigade - don't laugh too loudly.

Every time!

Though that happens more on this site than AW. I can't get my head around what they think the words mean. Of they lost the power of sight and thought?

'Born and bread' is a cracker

'Gentlemans' / gentlemen's both get a smile; surplus apostrophe or not

as does 'I am very sweat-natured'


« Last Edit: December 18, 2022, 06:16:01 pm by Heph »

Offline jseop109

The other day I saw the AW profile of a Caribbean girl. In her interview she declared her first language as English and her second as "Patios". Lots of fun in the garden no doubt.

Offline Vice Admiral

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“I reserve the right to select my clients!! I do not accept people with balls or other accessories!”

Offline Landscape

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“I reserve the right to select my clients!! I do not accept people with balls or other accessories!”

I would have thought aiming for the eunuch market would be an act of futility..

Online RandomGuy99

The other day I saw the AW profile of a Caribbean girl. In her interview she declared her first language as English and her second as "Patios". Lots of fun in the garden no doubt.
A simple typo with humourous results.  She meant Patois

Offline jseop109

Yes I thought that would have been obvious from her being from the Caribbean but thanks for pointing it out!

Offline big-al93

Yes I thought that would have been obvious from her being from the Caribbean but thanks for pointing it out!

It was pretty clear, unless if you maybe didn't know that was the name of that language.

It probably wasn't even a typo on the escorts part, more likely to be autocorrect.

Offline Spunky34


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Profile looks dodgy as hell but I’d like to see this beachfront apartment in Banbury.  Must be about as far from the sea as you can get in the UK.



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Offline StingRay

Saw one yesterday where she mentioned "Inn Calls" - I wonder if that's with her bent over the bar, hopefully not in the Public Lounge!   ;)

Offline mr.bluesky

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Profile looks dodgy as hell but I’d like to see this beachfront apartment in Banbury.  Must be about as far from the sea as you can get in the UK.



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I must have missed the turn off for the beach last time I drove through Banbury  :D

Offline A Decent Fist

Just seen this on Vivastreet, where the English language is often massacred, but not so amusingly.



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Offline Dr Talueng

Another 'lost in translation' one ... " I specialize in pompoarism I suck your penis, with my vagina I play a piano with my vagina on your penis you will feel an indescribable pleasure love " ... I have no idea, but it sounds intriguing.

Offline Colston36

Another 'lost in translation' one ... " I specialize in pompoarism I suck your penis, with my vagina I play a piano with my vagina on your penis you will feel an indescribable pleasure love " ... I have no idea, but it sounds intriguing.

For music lovers only

Offline akauya

Another 'lost in translation' one ... " I specialize in pompoarism I suck your penis, with my vagina I play a piano with my vagina on your penis you will feel an indescribable pleasure love " ... I have no idea, but it sounds intriguing.

Sounds about right to me, I expect nothing but being serenaded with a vaginal Clair de Lune from SPs   :)


Offline Moby Dick

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She’s “FREE FOR EARLY APPOINTMENTS”

Probably means AVAILABLE

Offline Gsmith88

Any profile that starts “HEY GAYS” instead of guys always makes me chuckle.

Offline mr.bluesky

We've all heard of the so-called Girlfriend Experience – and I suppose Robinson Crusoe role-play might include a Girl Friday Experience – but a "passionate girl Fried experiance" is a new one on me.

I might try it sometime.

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She's very clan too. I wonder what clan that is  :unknown:  :D

Offline inalco

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Profile looks dodgy as hell but I’d like to see this beachfront apartment in Banbury.  Must be about as far from the sea as you can get in the UK.



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She's in Bournemouth now, so a bit closer to the beach than Banbury!

Offline Bat

Spotted yesterday on AW

“I like deep throws” - sounds dangerous. . .



Online sparkus

Juicy bobs  :lol: perhaps she means juicy bits and bobs

Perhaps her head bobs up and down before you spill your juice too.



Online diver ted

« Last Edit: June 23, 2023, 08:01:20 pm by diver ted »

Offline DastardlyDick

Don't know if it's a mistake, but this one puts her location as Wembley Police Station, which might be off putting!
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Still thinking about TOFTT though!
« Last Edit: July 01, 2023, 02:25:11 pm by DastardlyDick »

Offline StingRay

Don't know if it's a mistake, but this one puts her location as Wembley Police Station, which might be off putting!
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Still thinking about TOFTT though!

Could possibly borrow some handcuffs if that's your thing?  :rolleyes: