Boundary pushing vs box ticking

[Fuggedaboutit]

OK, so I recently had an epic punt based on probably 3 months of planning. It truly was all I'd hoped for. But the experience really has made me feel a bit "meh" afterwards. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt...

Have a deal of BDSM experience, but even for me definitely entered uncharted territory (TS), and there are things I'm surprised at myself for liking (watersports). There are things that weren't explored, but could be in future (all safe, sane, consensual), but I just wonder if I've sort of reached the point where I wonder why I'm doing stuff - is it because I actually like it, or because of various influences (porn/discussions on here/likes list offered on AW), and I just view it as something "to do"?

Have you ever reached a point where you just rather revert to something safe like a GFE because you've done the PSE to death...? Or do you keep thinking "ooh, I haven't had that flavour yet" and keep going?


(apologies if another thread exists)

[Ali Katt]

Ultimately it is an organic process with me. I don't really go in for box ticking or "try all of the things". There's things I want to do and haven't done that's normal. There's things I've tried and haven't enjoyed. I'm OK with that. I'm an experimentalist at everything I do anyway.

As for porn rarely watch it anymore and know most of it is as believable as Harry Potter. I still do GFE stuff; if I was told I couldn't do the kinky stuff again I would feel something is missing.

[JontyR]

Never really thought about it, but I never have done something to simply see if I'd like it. I've generally done or sought out things that I thought I would like or had a desire to try. As a result most I have revisited on occasion because I did enjoy.

There have been things which I hadn't considered that I have done in civvie life to please a partner. Can't really think of any there that have widened my horizons. I have done things that I enjoyed more than I thought I might, but haven't had a desire to seek these things out since.

[Atlas1957]

I really enjoy the experimenting part of punting. I've done some things I would have never dreamed of doing and would never have had an opportunity to do otherwise. I'm lucky that I am a newish punter who takes things slow, so I've got plenty more to try.

There are a few new things I've done in the last few months that are now firmly on my list of things to do more often.

I've also tried a few things that I though I would enjoy but realised I don't after doing them.

What is nice about punting is you can try these things with a complete stranger who is being paid to make your experience enjoyable, and if you don't enjoy it or feel embarrassed about it afterwards, you never have to see them again and it won't get back to your friends or family.

[Stevelondon]

I’m assuming if your into more things like fetish play and BDSM related stuff. Then your choices of trying new things is greater than simply vanilla.

I guess I’m pretty boring really but think as you get older. You settle into enjoying the things already tried and trusted.

I have visited pro Dom’s/mistresses. But only those who cater for the more sensual and erotic style.
I recall a beautiful Dom up North who wanted me to try a few things on her likes list. Buggering me with a strap on for a start. Which I declined politely.
“How do you know you won’t enjoy it” she asked.

“I’ve never tried hard sports” I replied “ But I’ve a pretty good idea I won’t like the taste of shit”


Mistress Daniella by the way. Oh so long ago. But what a stunning woman she was/is.

[ulstersubbie]

 I still do GFE stuff; if I was told I couldn't do the kinky stuff again I would feel something is missing.

Me too, a life without kink would be intolerable as I have been in that "life" for so many years now.

[Jonestown]

I found that in BDSM land it was very easy to get your boundaries reset and find yourself in quite extreme areas very quickly, partly because standing in a well equipped dungeon is like being the proverbial kid in a candy store and partly because its the nature of BDSM punting to see how much you can take.

Maybe TS land is the same, lots of taboos to be broken and lines in the sand to be crossed.

[Fuggedaboutit]

being the proverbial kid in a candy store and partly because its the nature of BDSM punting to see how much you can take.

Very much that; I think I’ve just indulged a bit too much lately. A bit like the “never again” the morning after a skinful the night before....give it 6 months and I’ll be partaking liberally again  .

Mind you, original question wasn’t restricted to BDSM; plenty of activities offered in many SPs’ “likes” list that might push boundaries. I’ve never done MMF threesome or attended parties where there are other blokes; not to say I won’t ever, but doing stuff with other blokes in the room doesn’t figure at all in stuff I’m interested in trying.

[Ali Katt]

Very much that; I think I’ve just indulged a bit too much lately. A bit like the “never again” the morning after a skinful the night before....give it 6 months and I’ll be partaking liberally again  .

Mind you, original question wasn’t restricted to BDSM; plenty of activities offered in many SPs’ “likes” list that might push boundaries. I’ve never done MMF threesome or attended parties where there are other blokes; not to say I won’t ever, but doing stuff with other blokes in the room doesn’t figure at all in stuff I’m interested in trying.

I think that's natural. To use a crap analogy when you start listening to music you might listen to a few bands ...

I'm not enough of an exhibitionist to do a party. I wouldn't say no to MMF though with the right people.

[HailWood]

My ‘go to’ punt is a GFE but I have indulged in some kinks from elements of domination, outdoor sex, water sports etc. I find occasional forays into these activities provides change and keeps things fresh whether this is with a civvie partner or a regular SP.

[Thephoenix]

I think variety is definitely the spice of life.

There's really not much I haven't tried.

Some things I've enjoyed more than others, but I would never have known that without trying.

[Home Alone]

I think variety is definitely the spice of life.

There's really not much I haven't tried.

Some things I've enjoyed more than others, but I would never have known that without trying.

I'm more of a box-ticker than a boundary pusher, although this has more to do with 'time's winged chariot' going faster and faster for me.

There are certain services - e.g. tie & tease, face-sitting; but not just those two - that I've never experienced as well as I'd hoped I would when I booked those SPs who have it on their menus. Still, I keep searching and hope I've found a good practitioner to go and visit once restrictions are lifted.

[king tarzan]

I just prefer the old style 1990's porn
Normal man and woman sexual behaviour
Nice sweet gentle and enjoyable

[cunningman]

I found that in BDSM land it was very easy to get your boundaries reset and find yourself in quite extreme areas very quickly, partly because standing in a well equipped dungeon is like being the proverbial kid in a candy store and partly because its the nature of BDSM punting to see how much you can take.

I find myself flirting (and walking and talking) with a civvie who's thinking of having her own dungeon.  Never been my thing.  Thing is - she's sub.

While I'm intrigued and quite aroused by the idea, its clear that she doesn't just do 'keep licking and fingering after I've cum and its too sensitive', or that she's merely pliant and likes to be lead and controlled.

My concern is not how much I can take but how much I could give.  Whether its a throat fuck or impact play, I'm not sure I can do it, even if I know she (says she) wants it.  I could go through the motions somewhat but I suspect that my limit will be shy of hers and she won't be satisfied.

And I really don't want 'hitting a woman' to become normalised, or something I crave.  Light spanking I can understand.  I can do S for Sensation - but the Sadism and hurting bit?  Why do people do that?

[Ali Katt]

I find myself flirting (and walking and talking) with a civvie who's thinking of having her own dungeon.  Never been my thing.  Thing is - she's sub.

While I'm intrigued and quite aroused by the idea, its clear that she doesn't just do 'keep licking and fingering after I've cum and its too sensitive', or that she's merely pliant and likes to be lead and controlled.

My concern is not how much I can take but how much I could give.  Whether its a throat fuck or impact play, I'm not sure I can do it, even if I know she (says she) wants it.  I could go through the motions somewhat but I suspect that my limit will be shy of hers and she won't be satisfied.

And I really don't want 'hitting a woman' to become normalised, or something I crave.  Light spanking I can understand.  I can do S for Sensation - but the Sadism and hurting bit?  Why do people do that?

Send her to me.

[localyokel]

There were times when I first started seeing Mistresses when I would find myself going along with what she wanted and doing stuff I wasn’t intending to - mainly I guess because that was the power dynamic in the room. Now I’m better at saying “I don’t do that”. There are things I’m interested in - like bisexual MMF -  that I haven’t had the courage to arrange - and things like Parties - which at one point I did arrange and then walked about a couple of minutes after I arrived. That was just before the virus so I’ve spent a year wishing I had stayed and enjoyed all that sucking and fucking and close interaction while it was still possible

[signy]

...that I haven’t had the courage to arrange...

I think this is a common situation for people approaching such activities. We go through a stage (or stages) where we think "is this weird", "will the SP be shocked/laugh", will I get a stamp on my forehead so everyone knows what I like/do? We just need to realise that the answers are NO, and then pluck up the courage to make the booking. It's not always easy, especially when you start, but worth it in the end (usually).

[atmos]

  Light spanking I can understand.  I can do S for Sensation - but the Sadism and hurting bit?  Why do people do that?

I think the thing is that for many of us, we are just 'wired' that way. I am, by nature a 'subbie' and I get pleasure out of the Total Power Exchange - however humiliating it may seem. I think I get on well with Mistresses - before a session they know my hard limits, which are for legit medical reasons, and within them we 'play' quite hard.

Within those limits I expect to have my limits pushed - to go from being naked to trying PVC or being encased in thick rubber or dressed in 'frillies' just seem natural steps.

When the next stage of restriction lifting happens I expect to be seeing a Mistress for quite a long session - because I deserve it.