Annoying punter phrases with real meanings . . .

[SlamBoy]

(1) "Longtime Lurker" - I'm a leeching bastard.

(2) "Girl next door" - this has absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

(3) "Treat her well" - I'm a cunt.

Feel free to add your own.

[jeanphillipe]

4:) first review, so be gentle -  i was touched inappropriately as a child

[Home Alone]

(1) "Longtime Lurker" - leeching bastard.

(2) "Girl next door" - this has absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

(3) "Treat her well" - I'm a cunt.

Feel free to add your own.

I'd like to offer a slight amendment to the third of those which I find particularly irritating:

"Treat her well!" = I'm a congenitally fluffy cunt who's just deluded himself to thinking he's been on a date.

[django0700]

I'd like to offer a slight amendment to the third of those which I find particularly irritating:

"Treat her well!" = I'm a congenitally fluffy cunt who's just deluded himself to thinking he's been on a date.

Agreed, Treat her well that phrase pisses me off....are we expected to just hand over my money , have a wank and leave?

[Waterhouse]

I'd like to offer a slight amendment to the third of those which I find particularly irritating:

"Treat her well!" = I'm a congenitally fluffy cunt who's just deluded himself to thinking he's been on a date.

Or...

"Treat her well!" = I'm the WG in this fake review.

[Jeremy]

Agreed, Treat her well that phrase pisses me off....are we expected to just hand over my money , have a wank and leave?

Don't be disgusting, the fair lady shouldn't have to witness the terrible sight of you bashing the bishop. Save it til you get home, you should be grateful she has even allowed you to stand within her presence.

[SlamBoy]

4:) first review, so be gentle -  i was touched inappropriately as a child

+1 

[willie loman]

The full phrase is"treat her with respect guys".
I don't mind the girl next door line, we all kind of understand what the poster is alluding to.

[pamplona]

" I won't go into detail as that's between us " when posting a review. I'm a useless cunt who thinks he's found a girlfriend who will now immediately stop fucking anyone else.

[Fishface]

Girl next door, means my neighbour looks like a hooker

Or in reviews actually means fairly average and ordinary looking, not stunning, not a supermodel.

So in fact it does have a meaning.

[catweazle]

"Got the paperwork out of the way" - I'm a fluffy twat who can't admit l pay for sex

[Plan R]

'GFE' always makes me think  - Expensive, sexless and full of recriminations..
But I am bitter and twisted.

[willie loman]

"out of my league", that always makes me laugh, so a single mother who lives in a council flat, who left school at 15,who has a drug problem, something you could only dream about?

[bhudda]

'GFE' always makes me think  - Expensive, sexless and full of recriminations..
But I am bitter and twisted.

True gfe is walking round endless antique shops tryinv to pretend to be interested.

And while we are at it ... 99% of antique shops are really junk shops full of shite the previous owner's relatives didnt want when they died.

[Rome66]

 Sorting out the "paperwork" ffs just PAY the girl 

Is it like a dads army secret code ...careful chaps,  walls have ears. The rozzers will never understand this coded term.

[Rome66]

"Got the paperwork out of the way" - I'm a fluffy twat who can't admit l pay for sex

Apologies catweazle, "i should look before i leap "you beat me to it.

So + 1

[Fuzzyduck]

"I'll do a review if I go see her, guys" - Like fuck I will. I just need to say that so you saps give me the intel I need before I shag this one

[Fuzzyduck]

"She asked me not to do a review" - Even though I'm a spineless cunt who puts SPs above punters, I still like to show off that I've paid to fuck someone rather than just keep my mouth shut.

[tynetunnel]

"out of my league", that always makes me laugh, so a single mother who lives in a council flat, who left school at 15,who has a drug problem, something you could only dream about?

perhaps you are picking the wrong WG’s or just have very low standards?

I’ve had some “out of my league” girls, and nobody I’ve punted matches your description above 

[cueball]

"i too had a shit time with her"

 But didn't share and let us walk down the same Fuckin hole, only mentioning when one of us has reviewed

[Waterhouse]

True gfe is walking round endless antique shops tryinv to pretend to be interested.

And while we are at it ... 99% of antique shops are really junk shops full of shite the previous owner's relatives didnt want when they died.

So you have been to Hampton Court village  then 

[Alanroy]

Don't be disgusting, the fair lady shouldn't have to witness the terrible sight of you bashing the bishop.

Unless you've paid her to do so, of course in which case bash away son!

[mrhappypants]

perhaps you are picking the wrong WG’s or just have very low standards?

I’ve had some “out of my league” girls, and nobody I’ve punted matches your description above 

+1 One of the reasons I punt is to fuck women who, on a purely looks basis, I would never be able to pull in civilian life.

[Stevensmiles]

Girl next door to me is a right twat so that meaning evades me completely.

[Bonker]

"I made her come 3 times"

I'm so gullible that I fell for the fake moans and daft noises she made and didn't notice that she was pulling faces behind my back.

[Rome66]

The standard copy n paste review.

Comms. .text or phone.  Really? wow useful info.

They gave you address . Crikey ..wonder why ?

Text/ called for door entry....how original.

They stood behind door..gosh almighty .

Paperwork. ..  ugh.

Its getting so robotic someone in my neck of the woods ( Glasgow) complained the SP didnt have a shower , next
sentence continues. .." after my shower stripped of.."

Ie after imaginary shower..got dressed...then striiped off  ???

   

[Fuzzyduck]

"I made her come 3 times"

I'm so gullible that I fell for the fake moans and daft noises she made and didn't notice that she was pulling faces behind my back.

.... and checking her phone.

[Punterperson1971]

When they say....form an orderly que guys.

[SlamBoy]

I don't mind the girl next door line, we all kind of understand what the poster is alluding to.

I really don't know.

I have been looking into it for a while now whenever it is mentioned on a sub-standard review, and the description has been (i) applied to so many different types of girls (height, weight, nationality, size, colouring, race); and (ii) coupled with the fact that no one lives 'next door' to a girl who is anything like any other girl living 'next door' to anyone else - forces me to conclude:

It is just a lazy cliche with no meaning whatsoever, and is a waste of the writer's and reader's time.

Conclusion: don't do it, unless you want to come across as a cunt.

[lewisjones23]

I wont go in to details / it remains between us two = absolute dickhead / useless review

perhaps I caught her on an off day = fluffy gimp who makes excuses for brasses on £100+ p/h

any sort of stupid scoring, face 10/10, body 11/10 = deluded wanker who can’t look at things realistically

[Jeremy]

I really don't know.

I have been looking into it for a while now whenever it is mentioned on a sub-standard review, and the description has been (i) applied to so many different types of girls (height, weight, nationality, size, colouring, race); and (ii) coupled with the fact that no one lives 'next door' to a girl who is anything like any other girl living 'next door' to anyone else - forces me to conclude:

It is just a lazy cliche with no meaning whatsoever, and is a waste of the writer's and reader's time.

Conclusion: don't do it, unless you want to come across as a cunt.

My understanding of the phrase has always been that it is a polite way of saying the girl is facially not attractive, but still made the effort with makeup and such. Doesn't want to use the word 'ugly' for fear of being too harsh/offending the girl if she's a regular and happens across his review.

[freeze44]

'if you'r lucky enough to get to meet her'....yeah right and 'lucky' enough to hand over my cash!!

[Jeremy]

'if you'r lucky enough to get to meet her'....yeah right and 'lucky' enough to hand over my cash!!

This one I find to mean she has shit comms, as in, you'll be lucky if she ever replies to you

[freeze44]

This one I find to mean she has shit comms, as in, you'll be lucky if she ever replies to you

Good point! And defo one for those who love the chase and then are one of the 'lucky few' to meet the wg for a 'date' and hand over hundreds as she's worth it! my hairy ass! 

[Fugly]

DATY always pisses me off. 

Dining at the Y? 

1). We're not in America
2). We're not members of Village People
3). This isn't the 1970s.

What's wrong with RO? 

[SlamBoy]

DATY always pisses me off. 

Dining at the Y? 

1). We're not in America
2). We're not members of Village People
3). This isn't the 1970s.

What's wrong with RO?

+1

[cueball]

I'm not that fussed on how lads word their reviews as long as they give me all the facts, that includes price, duration,  parking and state of the venue.

I can then make an informed choice then