Just returned from my 1st Thai trip - it won't be my last...
As a teetotaller I had an interesting perspective on what goes on here in the bar/club scene. It did not affect my enjoyment in any way shape or form.
I had a body count of 17 in 14 days, one day I punted three times which was quite intense! I did a fair bit of research before going so will break down the shenanigans into bars and clubs, online, and soapies. Hope it helps someone with any questions...
Bars and clubsMy friend knew several of the ex-pat bar owner/online stream crowd so we arranged a bar crawl for getting the lay of the land so to speak. This encompassed several bars in Pattaya, a gents club in Jomtien down the road and then back to the gogos afterwards with transport all laid on. It was a bit of a sausage fest with 30 or so guys in some small establishments but it drums up business for the owners where it's been fairly quiet for them, and a good recce for places to go later should you wish.
Later on we went to some of the bars where I barfined one girl who took my fancy with her sassy behaviour, turned out she was a very good pick indeed and a LOT of fun. She took me to the lesbian shows on Soi LK Metro at Angels and Kink. Kink has full on lesbian sex happening on the upstairs floor on a dais which lowers down to the bar beneath. Whilst the dais is raised you can interact with the show and will have loads of tits, ass and pussy thrust at you in return for drinks. Turns out the girl I was with enjoyed groping nubile ladies just as much as I did so I converted a couple 1000B notes (£22) into bundles of 20B notes to stuff in various cracks, cleavages and underwear, then making the remainder rain down on the dais with 7 or so girls eating each other out as it was lowered. Great fun night and then took her back to the hotel for "Long time" before she went back around 3PM the next day.
I went to a couple of gogos throughout the trip which had short time rooms available - 600B added to the bill and then 1500-2000 for short time with the girls. As soon as you walk in you will be mobbed by them so be discerning and look around who you want to punt and don't just dive in like I did (fortunately worked out well for me) the first time!
In all the bars I made it clear I was a "butterfly" i.e. go from lady to lady - this leaves your options open if there are others in the bar you want to sample later. In Thai culture it's all about maintaining face so if you barfine a girl without such an announcement beforehand, others in there won't go near you as you are presumed to be the customer of the girl you initially chose. I had 3 different girls from one particular bar over the course of the trip, overnight / Long time with the first one for 4 nights spread out throughout, each time she was more and more daring, including watching me do her friend short time before having her straight after. Later in the trip she paid for me to go on the dais myself at Kink where I was dry humped, face fucked, DFKed by five dancers with her (and everyone else in the place) watching and cheering me on. Really was nothing like I'd ever experienced before - good job I'm not the shy, retiring type:D
I only really had one meh punt with a bar girl where she lay there like a sack of shit, the usual cold stunner routine you'd get in the UK so my advice would once again be to use discernment and pick girls who are lively and can speak a bit more English to give more of a chance of you enjoying it fully.
Had a 10/10 from a gogo/titty bar on Soi Diamond who I barfined for short time early in the evening and took back to the hotel, that one was quite dear at a 2000B bar fine and then the same for ST, she was however completely dirty and one of the best I had over here. The nightlife is amazing here and chaotic, so once again be discerning and don't get sucked into the lady drink rinser. If you are having fun with one it's very likely her "friend" will crawl out the woodwork and then you can end up buying more and more drinks for family members, mama-sans, servers, security guards and even other punters. Be firm and insist on buying drinks for
only those you want to interact with, your bar bill can rapidly grow expensive to UK levels if you don't have your wits about you. This is where I'd imagine if you were half-cut things could quickly spiral out of control into hundreds of pounds.
Total body count 7
Thaifriendly/onlineThaifriendly is officially a dating app but here it's basically uber eats for punts. As a punter your profile will be "liked" and messaged by many, many girls 24/7 so just a case of waiting till one you fancy shows up online and then enquire and book. In Thailand independent escorts are called "freelancers" so when a girl (or ladyboy if that's your thing, you can allow/prevent messages from these in the settings) contacts you with that in their profile they can be booked. It is the complete opposite of using apps to meet folks in the UK where females are hounded by a mushroom farm of cock pix, here you are the prey and you will be inundated with "likes" and messages within a few minutes. My tip here is to filter the messages to ones who are nearby, online and have pics - typically I would be fucking them within 40 minutes of making contact.
There is a free version of the app, which limits you to 1 reply every 10 mins - such an account will seriously hinder you booking people so it's recommended to have the premium membership where you can message unimpeded for the length of your trip. Once your holiday has concluded it's worth hiding your profile otherwise you will continue to be messaged despite no longer being there. You can reactivate if/when you return. It's worth getting the messaging app "Line" as most Thais use this. Indeed you can also exchange "Line" IDs with bar girls to meet them independently and thus avoid barfines etc. Most will not do this in the bars for obvious reasons so ask when you get to the room assuming you get on OK with them.
Outcalls to your hotelEnsure you have booked a "guest friendly" hotel where there is security - ID cards are carried by all Thais so they should have no problem handing this over to hotel reception for the duration of their stay. Good hotels will call your room afterwards to check everything is OK and the lady can go.
If things go wrong and hotel property is damaged then the authorities can be involved, similarly if she did a runner with your phone or wallet whilst you were in the shower. Take the usual safety precautions with inviting complete strangers into your hotel room such as locking your baht/sterling and any cards in a safe, probably your toothbrush too in case they decide to stick it somewhere it shouldn't go whilst showering if the punt went badly!
I booked 6 freelancers over the course of the trip and one of them was a 10/10, one of the best looking girls I've ever punted - 5 foot nothing, 38Kg, no tattoos, smooth all over with natural C cups and was naughty with it. One of the highlights of the trip and 1500 baht (£31) for 90 mins or so. I also indulged my tastes for asian girls in glasses, with braces, in swimwear, alternative coloured hair, full back yakuza style tattoos, piercings you name it. Whatever you want you will find on there and it's a very cost-effective way to punt, the most I paid was 1500B (£31)
Total body count 6
Soapy massageProbably the easiest route to arranging duos is via soapy massage parlours. I went to the large establishment on Soi 2 beach road. I went into a large hall with ladies sat in plush chairs on 2 sides. Had a seat, have a nice cold drink and look around. Pick who you want, in my case a petite milf with bolt ons and a curvier lady with bee stings. All have coloured badges on with a number. The colour of the badge denotes the rate so anything from 2600B to 4800B. The ladies self-price this.
Settle the bill with the waiter taking you to the kiosk and then both girls take your arm and whisk you to the room, all of us get soaped up in a big corner bath then on to a big lilo. With both girls covered in soap suds, slippery lady sandwich ensues with a bit of yoghurt sploshing too, another group shower and then on to bed and fuck both before being showered off and on my way. What a fabulous concept! There is nothing in the UK remotely like this. I went back on my last day and had 2 of the most expensive ladies with green rosettes and this was dirtier with a nice oily footjob finish with more lesbian action.
On the face of it this looks quite expensive however in a bar you have lady drinks, bar fines, the lady's rates plus room hire or taxi fares to your hotel to factor in to the equation. At the soapy you pay the rate and get on with it so a highly efficient (and very, very clean) way to punt here. If Carlsberg did bath times
Total body count 4
Things to bear in mindThai condoms are very thin, so take your own. I went to the GUM clinic and they gave me some to take which came in handy. There is a lot of barebacking here which some are quite proud and open about - I prefer not to stir someone else's porridge so made sure that was taken care of.
Touts offering ping pong shows etc on walking street - this can get very expensive with menaces too so my advice would be to ignore anyone hassling you for this, particularly on Walking Street
You WILL be mobbed by girls when you go into places so take your time and don't be afraid to ask the munters or meatfeasts who approach you to send the pretty ones over to talk to you, be polite and respectful but remember this is not the UK so if you've been talking a while buy them a drink to compensate their time. Drinks are how a lot of them get paid and a 20B tip (50p) goes a long way to making sure you have a good night with service staff, mamasans, bar owners etc when settling up as it's time to move on.
Some places operate a sliding scale of bar fines, it can work out a lot cheaper to wait till past midnight to barfine a lady (or 2) so don't be in a rush. For me I went to a few places where amazing things occurred such as being dared to eat out a gogo dancer on stage - which I did and she was gorgeous - but I still punted elsewhere later as it was early in the night! Pattaya is pure chaos so don't overthink plans as likely they will go out the window in the first hour, as an example on the first night after a long flight which was delayed and a 2 hour ride from the airport I was expecting a quiet night with something to eat and maybe a couple of bars but got dragged to an interactive lesbian show on a motorbike taxi at 3 AM with a girl wearing one of my t shirts and boxers and ended up doing an overnight / overday with her after another equally hair raising bike ride back to the hotel with her DFKing me on the move.
Seriously just go with the flow here, you WILL be entertained.
TL;dr
Amazing first trip to Pattaya / Thailand - met some interesting people and had a sample of this lovely country, the food is fantastic and cheap, most people are friendly and the weather is hot but not unbearable. If you want to travel light buy all the clothes you need here for absolute buttons and a suitcase to take them back in. I am already planning another trip and possibly some contracting there for a longer stay too. There's a sizeable ex-pat community and I understand why. In total I spent about £2800 on "entertainment" in the fortnight I was there, factor in travel and hotel costs and it came to around £6k, so not a cheap trip by any means but it's one of the best things I've ever done hands down!
This is punter heaven or Disney land for men. I can't recommend it highly enough!
