all in the mind

[rosebristol60]

as i"m still a newcomer to all this stuff, so far i have seen only one escort, how do you deal with the fact that the person your with is really only doing it for the money, and no matter what they say or do its just acting to make you feel good, the lady i went with was lovely and said all the right things, but i expect as soon as i left she just forgot about me, i"m not a raving sex maniac and i"m someone who has only had romantic sex, so having sex with someone who just wants my money is something completely different to me, but saying all that i did enjoy it and i will have another go, i"m just going to have to try and clear my mind of all negative thoughts.

[scutty brown]

Her reasons for doing it don't matter - as long as she's not been forced to do it.
You need to be asking yourself why YOU are doing it.
What are you after? No-frills sex? A girlfriend substitute? Sex without the hassle of dating?
Resolve that and her reasons become irrelevant

[Paris69]

Her reasons for doing it don't matter - as long as she's not been forced to do it.
You need to be asking yourself why YOU are doing it.
What are you after? No-frills sex? A girlfriend substitute? Sex without the hassle of dating?
Resolve that and her reasons become irrelevant

Good answer... 

[MrMatrix]

Her reasons for doing it don't matter - as long as she's not been forced to do it.
You need to be asking yourself why YOU are doing it.
What are you after? No-frills sex? A girlfriend substitute? Sex without the hassle of dating?
Resolve that and her reasons become irrelevant

Spot on Scutty.

And yes they are doing it just for the money. They will say anything if they think you can be a regular. They are not looking for a partner or love. If she makes you feel that good then shes good at the job. If they are that good I'm more than happy to return 

- So why are you seeing escorts OP?

[Bogof60]

+1 scutty
OP I do wonder if you have the right mindset for shagging prostitutes.

[Plan R]

- as long as she's not been forced to do it..

Also I remind myself that, while yes, it's a paid for act..my limbic system (emotions, memories, arousal),
really couldn't give a shit about some symbolic paper changing hands before I got naked with a mid 20s hottie !

[Wooderz]

Ultimately, if you are prone to romanticising and enjoy lovey dovey ness as an extra high bonus, the better your regular ho is, the more likely you will hit that watershed moment when you can no longer deal with your feelings, or she cant..

Ultimately, she will be jealous of every other ho you shag.. Even if you can handle her shagging other chaps..

And always, cash is her motivation. Sometimes you will forget this, until a stark reminder comes.. She ain't into you as you would prefer..

Its not like shagging civvies.. Women are experts at boxing off and compartmentalising several aspects of their lives. Split level thinking some call it.. A punter isn't a lover. And never will be..

Sometimes, you can enjoy knowing she is probably dating a mug who has no idea what she is doing for a price with you which she won't do with him because he is in a "relationship" and has to prove himself first by wining and dining, taking her shopping, being her emotional tampon, etc..

My advice, just fuck em and know its good enough.. One out of three aint bad..

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Most WG's get into this because they quite like sex, or at least having sex with strangers doesn't bother them.

If it helps: lots of women enjoy sex with a lump of plastic shaped vaguely like a penis.  If your bedroom skills are better than a lump of plastic, you should be OK.

[rosebristol60]

thanks for the responses, in answer to the question of why i am doing it, my partner went off sex 10 years ago, and i have been faithful in all of that time , so no sex for me for 10 years, but the urge had become so strong i needed to do something about it, now to be honest i am not the handsomest bloke in the world, and i cant just go out on the town and pull a girl, most of them wouldnt give me the time of day, so after spending a bit of money on adultfriendfinder.com and similar sites with no luck, i thought the only way i would ever get sex again would be to pay for it, i certainly didnt want street girls or massage parlours, so the adultwork escorts seemed the best way to go.

[MrMatrix]

thanks for the responses, in answer to the question of why i am doing it, my partner went off sex 10 years ago, and i have been faithful in all of that time , so no sex for me for 10 years, but the urge had become so strong i needed to do something about it, now to be honest i am not the handsomest bloke in the world, and i cant just go out on the town and pull a girl, most of them wouldnt give me the time of day, so after spending a bit of money on adultfriendfinder.com and similar sites with no luck, i thought the only way i would ever get sex again would be to pay for it, i certainly didnt want street girls or massage parlours, so the adultwork escorts seemed the best way to go.

Your scenario isnt unusual to many members here. There comes a point where you just ain't going to put up with this nonsense any more. At least if you are paying for it you can see girls that would normally be way out of your league and fulfil your wildest dreams. I suggest you go and shag your self silly and enjoy yourself without any guilt. Just make sure you use a punting phone and keep no records of your contacts. A friend of mine has recently been caught out as he made a silly mistake. Indeed I too was nearly caught out last year as well. Always be vigilant. Enjoy your new hobby Rosebristol

[Silver Birch]

i"m someone who has only had romantic sex, so having sex with someone who just wants my money is something completely different to me

This was me. I'd never had a one night stand, so shagging a wg 5 minutes after I met her did feel somewhat hollow. It didn't take long for my mind to change attitude, and enjoy the ride. 

[Wooderz]

Your scenario isnt unusual to many members here. There comes a point where you just ain't going to put up with this nonsense any more. At least if you are paying for it you can see girls that would normally be way out of your league and fulfil your wildest dreams. I suggest you go and shag your self silly and enjoy yourself without any guilt. Just make sure you use a punting phone and keep no records of your contacts. A friend of mine has recently been caught out as he made a silly mistake. Indeed I too was nearly caught out last year as well. Always be vigilant. Enjoy your new hobby Rosebristol

Sadly any woman who witholds sex is regarded as perfectly entitled to do such and also perfectly entitled to divorce a man who goes elsewhere, taking his house and kids and livelihood..

Same outcome as when a man abuses his wife by witholding sex from her. She is perfectly entitled to go elsewhere, kick him out of his own home taking his house kids and livelihood..

the logic thing to do is therefore.... 

[Colston36]

as i"m still a newcomer to all this stuff, so far i have seen only one escort, how do you deal with the fact that the person your with is really only doing it for the money, and no matter what they say or do its just acting to make you feel good, the lady i went with was lovely and said all the right things, but i expect as soon as i left she just forgot about me, i"m not a raving sex maniac and i"m someone who has only had romantic sex, so having sex with someone who just wants my money is something completely different to me, but saying all that i did enjoy it and i will have another go, i"m just going to have to try and clear my mind of all negative thoughts.

Quite a few girls enjoy what they do. A surprisingly high number have worked in jobs that involve helping people. And if I may say so your wife didn't show interest if you had no sex for 10 years. So try to relax and enjoy yourself.

[tynetunnel]

I’ve been punting nearly a year now, and it used to bother me at first. Now, not so much. Like others said, I can spend sexy time with a girl younger, fitter, prettier and sexier than I ever ever could in civvie life, not even in my wildest imaginings! And all without any kind of dating or romancing. Just pick up the phone and book! 

[Wooderz]

I’ve been punting nearly a year now, and it used to bother me at first. Now, not so much. Like others said, I can spend sexy time with a girl younger, fitter, prettier and sexier than I ever ever could in civvie life, not even in my wildest imaginings! And all without any kind of dating or romancing. Just pick up the phone and book! 

I used to be a pick up artist of much repute but even when I had a good choice of civvies I still wasn't reet fussy, always preferring rapid access to axewound as a priority rather than looks.. sometimes I would get a real stunna, but sexual performance isn't much linked to looks really.. When you are balls deep in the cumskip its about how it feels round your helmet more ..

Eventually age and an increasing intolerance of boring women took its toll and the last top notch civvie I did was about 3 years ago and realising she was 30 years younger than me and I really couldn't be arsed with her, or any other 20 somethings smartphone addict ways,  i gave up even trying, quit working out in the gym, and looked to AW..

I would love a good young woman for the real deal, give up punting forever, but back in da real whirled... 

[Ali Katt]

Your scenario isnt unusual to many members here. There comes a point where you just ain't going to put up with this nonsense any more. At least if you are paying for it you can see girls that would normally be way out of your league and fulfil your wildest dreams. I suggest you go and shag your self silly and enjoy yourself without any guilt. Just make sure you use a punting phone and keep no records of your contacts. A friend of mine has recently been caught out as he made a silly mistake. Indeed I too was nearly caught out last year as well. Always be vigilant. Enjoy your new hobby Rosebristol

A mate of mine is in a similar circumstance. I said if I was in his size 10s I would have cheated years ago; I have needs and they are deep needs that can't be filled by most people, it's selfish and I know that, but nobody wins any points by being a martyr.

[mickmac]

thanks for the responses, in answer to the question of why i am doing it, my partner went off sex 10 years ago, and i have been faithful in all of that time , so no sex for me for 10 years, but the urge had become so strong i needed to do something about it, now to be honest i am not the handsomest bloke in the world, and i cant just go out on the town and pull a girl, most of them wouldnt give me the time of day, so after spending a bit of money on adultfriendfinder.com and similar sites with no luck, i thought the only way i would ever get sex again would be to pay for it, i certainly didnt want street girls or massage parlours, so the adultwork escorts seemed the best way to go.

Your situation sounds almost identical to mine, except that mental
illness has caused my wifes lack of interest in sex over the past decade.
I too struggled for ages with this, before finally making my first
booking with an escort last November, quickly followed by 2 more women
over the next 3 weeks.

I don't regret any of that, but I have struggled with the whole idea of
paying for sex since then and have yet to make another booking - I
really want to go back to the 2nd escort, but something is holding me
back, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

But, I've just been to see my GP and he's given me a little blue pill
prescription, so I'm gonna try one out in the next couple of days, and all
being well, I'll get a booking in next week, with a review to follow on
here of course!

[Ali Katt]

Your situation sounds almost identical to mine, except that mental
illness has caused my wifes lack of interest in sex over the past decade.
I too struggled for ages with this, before finally making my first
booking with an escort last November, quickly followed by 2 more women
over the next 3 weeks.

I don't regret any of that, but I have struggled with the whole idea of
paying for sex since then and have yet to make another booking - I
really want to go back to the 2nd escort, but something is holding me
back, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

But, I've just been to see my GP and he's given me a little blue pill
prescription, so I'm gonna try one out in the next couple of days, and all
being well, I'll get a booking in next week, with a review to follow on
here of course!

Looking forward to your reviews Mick, but I'm not enough of a masochist to hold my breath.

[Poopster]

For me, sex isn't the same as making love.  Fifty Cent said it best: "I'm into having sex I'm not into making love." 

Too many people conflate the emotional aspect of making love with the physical aspect of sticking your dick into a woman. 

Yeah, they can be the same thing, if you and the woman want exactly the same thing, but we humans are complex biological systems driven by needs and desires we don't understand.  Not everyone wants a partner for life but still wants to rut like a Bonobo, some people just want to do it for procreation and some people just can't be arsed. 

TLDR: don't overthink it.  Have fun.

[Wooderz]

For me, sex isn't the same as making love.  Fifty Cent said it best: "I'm into having sex I'm not into making love." 

Too many people conflate the emotional aspect of making love with the physical aspect of sticking your dick into a woman. 

Yeah, they can be the same thing, if you and the woman want exactly the same thing, but we humans are complex biological systems driven by needs and desires we don't understand.  Not everyone wants a partner for life but still wants to rut like a Bonobo, some people just want to do it for procreation and some people just can't be arsed. 

TLDR: don't overthink it.  Have fun.

Even psychopaths have feelings. then again, maybe not..

[Digby232]

The majority of men use escorts as the wife stops all forms of sexual contact. Mine too is down to perhaps once a month.  The thing I don’t understand is why they stop?

[scutty brown]

The majority of men use escorts as the wife stops all forms of sexual contact. Mine too is down to perhaps once a month.  The thing I don’t understand is why they stop?

 because your hair fell out, your teeth went black, your belly turned into a barrel and your tits are bigger than hers???

[Wooderz]

The majority of men use escorts as the wife stops all forms of sexual contact. Mine too is down to perhaps once a month.  The thing I don’t understand is why they stop?

Women use sex to get access to what they really want. When they have what they want, their urge mysteriously dissapears and even they can't explain it. (especially they)..

Women have evolved that way. Marraige is an easy way for women to assume power over men. they no longer have to please sir.. So won't..

Unless they want something new.

Next time a frigid mrs seems keen on sex, just wait a day or so (or even during the afterglaw) and find out what she wants you to provide for her..

[Digby232]

Yep very true. In marriage you get sex if they want something. I am still in shape and she still rations it😂

[Wooderz]

Yep very true. In marriage you get sex if they want something. I am still in shape and she still rations it😂

I have a simple rule. 3 refusals and you're out.. I am reasonable though.. I have never insisted on any sexual activity I can get from a ho instead.. Which obviously includes everything I would ever want from a woman.  Once a month one position from a boring wife is probably OK.. Plenty of easy holes in the world, for free or a modest fee..

[Gordon Bennett]

Waitresses, hairdressers, shop assistants etc are probably all very friendly and personable with you, some might even be a bit flirty too. You don't give that a second thought - it never enters your head that they only do it cos they have to does it?
It really is no different with sex workers. You pay them for a service you want............. Don't overthink it beyond that. Ultimately in the cold light of day it's best to keep your feet on the ground and acknowledge she's only doing it for your cash. This will prevent you slipping into inappropriate clinginess, obsession and emotional attachment. But, like I say, during the booking just relax and enjoy the ride.

[RedKettle]

Waitresses, hairdressers, shop assistants etc are probably all very friendly and personable with you, some might even be a bit flirty too. You don't give that a second thought - it never enters your head that they only do it cos they have to does it?
It really is no different with sex workers. You pay them for a service you want............. Don't overthink it beyond that. Ultimately in the cold light of day it's best to keep your feet on the ground and acknowledge she's only doing it for your cash. This will prevent you slipping into inappropriate clinginess, obsession and emotional attachment. But, like I say, during the booking just relax and enjoy the ride.

Interesting comparison and good post.

Of course the difference in hourly rate between those you mention and a WG is quite staggering so not unreasonable to expect them to appear happy!!

[Wooderz]

Interesting comparison and good post.

Of course the difference in hourly rate between those you mention and a WG is quite staggering so not unreasonable to expect them to appear happy!!

Compare SP's with other professions who solicit and love your money.. Such as liarwyers.. 

[rosebristol60]

thanks for your responses, its nice to know i"m not the only one in this situation, but when your stark naked in front of these very pretty women and you got things running through your mind its very hard to get an erection, the comparison with hairdressers and waitreses i do not get, as you dont need an erection when you get a haircut.

[Doc Holliday]

... as you dont need an erection when you get a haircut.

Well actually ..............

[rosebristol60]

only in porn films like fake taxi and fake hairdresser

[Doc Holliday]

only in porn films like fake taxi and fake hairdresser

Well no actually .. I was being serious. Its always tended to happen when I get my hair cut or just played with .. less so these days. Thank god for those large capes you wear. 

Anyway I digress ...

Women use sex to get access to what they really want. When they have what they want, their urge mysteriously dissapears and even they can't explain it. (especially they)..

Women have evolved that way. Marraige is an easy way for women to assume power over men. they no longer have to please sir.. So won't..

Unless they want something new.

Next time a frigid mrs seems keen on sex, just wait a day or so (or even during the afterglaw) and find out what she wants you to provide for her..

I cannot disagree with that widely held view .. mainly because I cannot disprove it. However tarring all women with the same brush I would challenge. Not been my experience.

Sex in long term relationship should just 'evolve' to combat the challenges it undoubtedly faces and indeed that does happen in a great many relationships in contrast to the above stereotype.

If it doesn't both parties are equally to blame.

I have known many couples whose sexual relationship has prospered over time but ultimately fails because they simply become incompatible in other ways. Some even still meet just for sex.

[Ali Katt]

Well no actually .. I was being serious. Its always tended to happen when I get my hair cut or just played with .. less so these days. Thank god for those large capes you wear. 

Anyway I digress ...

I cannot disagree with that widely held view .. mainly because I cannot disprove it. However tarring all women with the same brush I would challenge. Not been my experience.

Sex in long term relationship should just 'evolve' to combat the challenges it undoubtedly faces and indeed that does happen in a great many relationships in contrast to the above stereotype.

If it doesn't both parties are equally to blame.

I have known many couples whose sexual relationship has prospered over time but ultimately fails because they simply become incompatible in other ways. Some even still meet just for sex.

Both women and men can use sex as a weapon. Not just by withholding sex, but also guilt tripping. We've also all read the mumsnet stories of women purposely not having sex after having children due to their own negative body image or even just because they see the man as a father rather than a fucktoy.

[Doc Holliday]

Both women and men can use sex as a weapon.

Absolutely

We've also all read the mumsnet stories of women purposely not having sex after having children ....

I'll take your word for that ..... it's not a forum I frequent 

[Doc Holliday]

To the OP.

Much good advice in this thread.

You need to accept and adapt your mindset quickly or find an alternative pastime. As others have said there are some excellent SP's out there who are very good at the job and will give you an alternative impression. You will be susceptible to feeling you are maybe special ... and then your head will become really fucked up!

[rosebristol60]

your absolutely right, lots of good advice, thanks everyone.

[Plan R]

Sadly any woman who witholds sex is regarded as perfectly entitled to do such and also perfectly entitled to divorce a man who goes elsewhere, taking his house and kids and livelihood..
Same outcome as when a man abuses his wife by witholding sex from her. She is perfectly entitled to go elsewhere, kick him out of his own home taking his house kids and livelihood..

That's right, if you have an affair - it's because you're a bastard
If she has an affair - it's because you're a bastard

[Plan R]

Your situation sounds almost identical to mine, except that mental illness has caused my wifes lack of interest in sex over the past decade.

Sorry to read that mickmac.. I've had 2 women with mental illness in the past [insert off-colour remark here], I noticed that mental illness treatment can really reduce sexual interest.
This could be because Prozac and other SSRI's (There are currently 8 SSRIs prescribed in the UK), can diminish the capacity to feel everything, including love
External Link/Members Only

Of course your partners case might be much more profound - it's just something noticed 

[Ali Katt]

Sorry to read that mickmac.. I've had 2 women with mental illness in the past [insert off-colour remark here], I noticed that mental illness treatment can really reduce sexual interest.
This could be because Prozac and other SSRI's (There are currently 8 SSRIs prescribed in the UK), can diminish the capacity to feel everything, including love
External Link/Members Only

Of course your partners case might be much more profound - it's just something noticed 

Freaky in the head, freaky in the bed.

[Wooderz]

drugs is for mugs.. especially anything prescribed by big farma.. that shit will really fuck you up..

[Waterhouse]

That's right, if you have an affair - it's because you're a bastard
If she has an affair - it's because you're a bastard

 

LMAO at that, but ne'er a truer word... and all that. 

[Ali Katt]

That's right, if you have an affair - it's because you're a bastard
If she has an affair - it's because you're a bastard

It's what happens afterwards which is interesting. Men if they can move on do, otherwise become alcoholics after losing everything. A lot of women do the martyr routine which is as you say "every man is a bastard" and maybe even some misandry of "preying on vulnerable (young) women". I've met women like this and what happens is they are frustrated as nobody wants to fuck them, but they have fantasies about what about is basically being degraded in a sexual way.

[rathbone]

That's good point - men and women can react in different ways, and if a man is strong enough to walk away without a backward glance that makes some women incredibly bitter and angry and determined to screw you up they way they feel they've been screwed up by you.

[Marvelous]

You really have to be careful with this punting, i mean even the most experienced punters can say go with hundred women and not give a shit... but then bang you go see some girl and you know what it was a lot better then the 50 before... felt more off a connection... felt a lot more natural.... damn i cant even remember the majority off there names... but this one i can spell it out.... she must be different from the others... well my freind shes not shes just a ho like the rest.   Never get that out off your head shes a ho your a dirty barsterd and forget about any emotions

[Wooderz]

You really have to be careful with this punting, i mean even the most experienced punters can say go with hundred women and not give a shit... but then bang you go see some girl and you know what it was a lot better then the 50 before... felt more off a connection... felt a lot more natural.... damn i cant even remember the majority off there names... but this one i can spell it out.... she must be different from the others... well my freind shes not shes just a ho like the rest.   Never get that out off your head shes a ho your a dirty barsterd and forget about any emotions

Yip. When a man is at one of those weak spots in his life, he will see diamonds in dogshit.. I think this is how many men get mugged into relationshits with dodgy women.. not just hoes..

[Ali Katt]

Yip. When a man is at one of those weak spots in his life, he will see diamonds in dogshit.. I think this is how many men get mugged into relationshits with dodgy women.. not just hoes..

Men Going Their Own Way = men wanking in their parent's basement and crying.

[Wooderz]

Men Going Their Own Way = men wanking in their parent's basement and crying.

Men Greatly Terrified Of Women.. 

as opposed to a few other stereotyed saddoes..

Married Men = Those who live in sexless misery fearful of she who must be obeyed and what she could do if she ever finds out..

Punters = Fools easily parted from a days earnings by a ho's ease of parting her legs for a tax free gain of a weeks average earnings for any other job they could be qualified for..

Men always get the negative stereotypes don't they?

All we can do is do what the Irish Navvy was asked to do when shown 4 shovels and told "take your pick.."..

 

[Spiceoflife]

The majority of men use escorts as the wife stops all forms of sexual contact. Mine too is down to perhaps once a month.  The thing I don’t understand is why they stop?

Briffaults law. Once they have everything they want - husband, nice house, holidays, kids, everything provided - then there is no incentive. Always hold something back. A work colleague, on a night out, told us he'd been promised a blow job once a month for six months if she got granite kitchen worktops. I remember thinking, for half the price of the worktops you could have a blow job once a week for a year, from a selection of hot ties.

[Wooderz]

Briffaults law. Once they have everything they want - husband, nice house, holidays, kids, everything provided - then there is no incentive. Always hold something back. A work colleague, on a night out, told us he'd been promised a blow job once a month for six months if she got granite kitchen worktops. I remember thinking, for half the price of the worktops you could have a blow job once a week for a year, from a selection of hot ties.

NAWALT  (some are even worse!)..

External Link/Members Only

[Spiceoflife]

as i"m still a newcomer to all this stuff, so far i have seen only one escort, how do you deal with the fact that the person your with is really only doing it for the money, and no matter what they say or do its just acting to make you feel good, the lady i went with was lovely and said all the right things, but i expect as soon as i left she just forgot about me, i"m not a raving sex maniac and i"m someone who has only had romantic sex, so having sex with someone who just wants my money is something completely different to me, but saying all that i did enjoy it and i will have another go, i"m just going to have to try and clear my mind of all negative thoughts.

It's her job. Like any job, there will be some days that are better than others. Some will love their job but most, like all of us, do it for the money. I click with some and, being clean, respectful and reasonable company, the best I can hope for is that they see me as a good day at the office. If there's no connection then I won't see them again however hot they are. We're all different though.