Former sex workers telling partners about their past

[Nas7777]

Do former sex workers tell their partners about their past?

I’m wondering this because I recently contacted Ladybarefoot/YogiJessie. She said strictly only does massages and no sexual services. She also mentioned that she lives with her boyfriend.

Does he know what we know? Sex worker & appeared in that Channel 5 doc about prostitution.

[dunhill]

Some choose to tell their partners, some choose not to tell their partners.  Either way, it is not really any of your business. 

[Strawberry]

Some do some may not, her choice of services may be about her own currently decided boundaries for a while range of reasons.

[Lou2019]

Do former SSs tell their partners about their past   

[Colston36]

Do former sex workers tell their partners about their past?

I’m wondering this because I recently contacted Ladybarefoot/YogiJessie. She said strictly only does massages and no sexual services. She also mentioned that she lives with her boyfriend.

Does he know what we know? Sex worker & appeared in that Channel 5 doc about prostitution.

This is what is called a prurient question - somewhat nasty. It probably reflects the asker. Anyhow the answer, as to most questions here is "it depends". It depends on those involved. I write for a living, and writers are always curious, so I always want to know. Actually I often want to join in, but that's another matter.

When I lived with a retired  call-girl, as they called them in the mid '60's I was fascinated by her past. It turned out one of her clients was the president of my old school, a well-known Duke. (Later I met another girl he supported).
 
She also told me about a famous business man she introduced to sniffing amyl nitrate. He had a heart attack in his bath and died. She told me about clients - and girls - who liked to be flogged. Her best friend who was called Bunty charged £1 a stroke (you can multiply that by 20 when I think what £1 was was worth then).

[Nas7777]

Some choose to tell their partners, some choose not to tell their partners.  Either way, it is not really any of your business.

It’s just a thought, she can tell him or not. You are right, It’s her business.

[Nas7777]

Some do some may not, her choice of services may be about her own currently decided boundaries for a while range of reasons.

I think it’s important the partner knows at some point. I’m not sure secrets make for a strong relationship.

[Nas7777]

This is what is called a prurient question - somewhat nasty. It probably reflects the asker. Anyhow the answer, as to most questions here is "it depends". It depends on those involved. I write for a living, and writers are always curious, so I always want to know. Actually I often want to join in, but that's another matter.

When I lived with a retired  call-girl, as they called them in the mid '60's I was fascinated by her past. It turned out one of her clients was the president of my old school, a well-known Duke. (Later I met another girl he supported).
 
She also told me about a famous business man she introduced to sniffing amyl nitrate. He had a heart attack in his bath and died. She told me about clients - and girls - who liked to be flogged. Her best friend who was called Bunty charged £1 a stroke (you can multiply that by 20 when I think what £1 was was worth then).

You can think the question is nasty, your right. I never intended to be tasty or it be seen that way. I just had a thought that came into my mind. I think your response was really interesting, I think a lot girls that work in the sex industry do live fascinating lives.

[dunhill]

I think it’s important the partner knows at some point. I’m not sure secrets make for a strong relationship.

With regards to you, do you/will you disclose that you have visited escorts?  Do you feel this is important?

[Colston36]

You can think the question is nasty, your right. I never intended to be tasty or it be seen that way. I just had a thought that came into my mind. I think your response was really interesting, I think a lot girls that work in the sex industry do live fascinating lives.

I believe, having known many over the last 60 odd years, that to survive and succeed in the industry takes considerable character and often luck. You are rarely entirely in control of your destiny - though this is true of many professions. But you will - if you're at all successful - indeed have some extraordinary experiences. However, sitting by the phone and waiting to see what comes your way can be pretty stressful. And since many only see you because they don't get what they want at home they're quite simply not going to be in a happy frame of mind about women.

[RedKettle]

Do former SSs tell their partners about their past   

Very good question in response!!

Answer is no from this one.

I think that WGs could more easily justify their involvement than we can - after all you are using it as a means of earning whereas it is simply pleasure seeking for us!  However in reality most of society will disapprove of all of us.

[king tarzan]

Very good question in response!!

Answer is no from this one.

I think that WGs could more easily justify their involvement than we can - after all you are using it as a means of earning whereas it is simply pleasure seeking for us!  However in reality most of society will disapprove of all of us.

Boyz will be boyz even naughty Boyz old skool stylee 🙌🙌🙌🙌👍👍👍👍👊👊👊🥊🥊🥊

[KatieEdinburgh]

I have told every long term partner I’ve ever been with about my job. Sometimes I’ve been on a break during that time but I still will tell them that either I used to escort, or still do, whichever is true. I don’t feel I HAVE to disclose to short term partners if perhaps it’s only a one night stand but to be honest I often tell them anyway.

In my experience actually less people seem to mind these days, the current generation of young people tends to respect the hustle to be fair.  I’m lucky that it’s rarely been negative reactions or faced much judgement even from people I don’t know well.

Some SPs will tell partners, some won’t. But you’d be surprised actually how many ARE transparent about their job.

I get asked literally ALL the time by clients, “So do any of your friends know what you do..?” And I reply, yes all of them know, my partner knows, I’m open with my job with my entire circle apart from parents (no real need to). Clients are usually surprised by that info I don’t know why. They assume it’s all got to be top secret I guess 

[Stevelondon]

I think it’s important the partner knows at some point. I’m not sure secrets make for a strong relationship.

I have very strong relationships with some wonderful friends of mine. But I wouldn’t see the point in telling them about my punting life. It’s my private life isn’t it.

Saying that. One or two very close friends do know.

[Stevelondon]

Very good question in response!!

Answer is no from this one.

I think that WGs could more easily justify their involvement than we can - after all you are using it as a means of earning whereas it is simply pleasure seeking for us!  However in reality most of society will disapprove of all of us.

It is interesting isn’t it. That last sentence I mean.
I’ve heard it all over the years from blokes, mates, friends etc,
“You wouldn’t catch me paying for it”

Yet the same people saying that think nothing of having affairs etc.

[Stevelondon]

I liked Katie of E last post.
Coincidentally, I had a dream about her last night.

We had met each other in a bar. Just a man and a woman, eyes across the room sort of thing.
We hit it off and three weeks later I’m telling her how much I really like her.
She sighs and tells me she has something to tell me,
“Im an escort Steve. I have sex with men for money”

Im taken aback a tad, but smile back at her.
“Then I need to be honest with you too. Im someone who pays woman to have sex with me”

That’s when Katie gets up and tells me to sod off, saying she could never go out with me again as she just couldn’t trust me.   

[dunhill]

It is interesting isn’t it. That last sentence I mean.
I’ve heard it all over the years from blokes, mates, friends etc,
“You wouldn’t catch me paying for it”

Yet the same people saying that think nothing of having affairs etc.

I have always felt that for those in relationships, paying a sex worker is far more sensible than engaging in a romantic affair, particularly if it's just sex that is being sought. It is harder when emotional connection is sought.  However, and again, in this instance, it's a question of finding the right escort who can fulfils this without crossing any boundaries. I know my clients are paying me not to interfere with them and their life outside of our (paid) time together. 


Would I care if a boyfriend is/was a SS? It depends - the only real issue is what kind of escorts are they seeing. Independent ones whom work for themselves - fine.  Those who are coerced, pimped or trafficked - not fine.  Am not a fan of agencies, so agency escorts would also not be fine. 


As for the OP's original question -

It really hasn't been relevant so far as for a quite a while now, I have opted to escort rather than date.

This summer, I wasn't working and had a summer romance with an ex.  He has said many times over the years tat he doesn't understand why I “don't have a queue of men lining up to look at my tits”, and most recently, why I am “not doing Only Fans as I could make a load of money”.  Also, I have never hidden from him that I have in the past had generous gentlemen friends, so he probably wouldn't be too surprised to learn I dabble in P4P.

[KatieEdinburgh]

I liked Katie of E last post.
Coincidentally, I had a dream about her last night.

We had met each other in a bar. Just a man and a woman, eyes across the room sort of thing.
We hit it off and three weeks later I’m telling her how much I really like her.
She sighs and tells me she has something to tell me,
“Im an escort Steve. I have sex with men for money”

Im taken aback a tad, but smile back at her.
“Then I need to be honest with you too. Im someone who pays woman to have sex with me”

That’s when Katie gets up and tells me to sod off, saying she could never go out with me again as she just couldn’t trust me.   

Personally I tell people sooner than 3 weeks into a relationship, more like on the first or second time we meet.

But maybe that’s unusual idk ?

Not against seeing someone who was a client either, but they need to be relatively new to the pastime for me to get on with them romantically in previous experience, hobbyists don’t tend to want to give up seeing other people and I prefer monogamy in my serious relationships. Yes. You can be a SW and want monogamous romantic relationships   

[Doc Holliday]

I get asked literally ALL the time by clients, “So do any of your friends know what you do..?” And I reply, yes all of them know, my partner knows,

I prefer monogamy in my serious relationships.

How do they both tally?

[king tarzan]

Personally I tell people sooner than 3 weeks into a relationship, more like on the first or second time we meet.

But maybe that’s unusual idk ?

Not against seeing someone who was a client either, but they need to be relatively new to the pastime for me to get on with them romantically in previous experience, hobbyists don’t tend to want to give up seeing other people and I prefer monogamy in my serious relationships. Yes. You can be a SW and want monogamous romantic relationships   

Stop flattering yourself with golden tickets

[KatieEdinburgh]

How do they both tally?

I don’t know how that seems unrealistic at all? Haha

How else did you think we do things….. when I work, I’m working. I’m not going on regular dates with anyone else. It’s completely different and every partner I’ve had fully understands this. If they didn’t then they probably wouldn’t be comfortable being with me in the first place. I don’t like dating men who have whorephobic tendencies as we wouldn’t be a good match.

It’s part and parcel of dating someone you know is an escort. Not everyone is comfortable with that and that’s fine, luckily some are or else how else would SPs date ?? They understand it’s just work.

Takes plenty of self confidence though (of course) to not be intimidated by the job.

As I said, personally I’ve not had any problems at all with dating (((however I understand it’s very different circumstances as I’m open about my job with everyone including male civvy friends))) and not everyone is able to do that. Most guys who approach to date me are my good friends first so they already know about me.

Everyone’s different and seeks out something that works well for them 

Stop flattering yourself with golden tickets

How is it flattery if I simply describe my current dating situation?

I thought punters would appreciate the insight of how SPs might have boyfriends or husbands and get things to work …. It’s the truth (for me, can’t speak for anyone else)

 

[RandomGuy99]

Strange question.

None of my business.

[Doc Holliday]

I don’t know how that seems unrealistic at all? Haha

How else did you think we do things….. when I work, I’m working. I’m not going on regular dates with anyone else. It’s completely different and every partner I’ve had fully understands this. If they didn’t then they probably wouldn’t be comfortable being with me in the first place. I don’t like dating men who have whorephobic tendencies as we wouldn’t be a good match.

It’s part and parcel of dating someone you know is an escort. Not everyone is comfortable with that and that’s fine, luckily some are or else how else would SPs date ?? They understand it’s just work.

Takes plenty of self confidence though (of course) to not be intimidated by the job.

As I said, personally I’ve not had any problems at all with dating (((however I understand it’s very different circumstances as I’m open about my job with everyone including male civvy friends))) and not everyone is able to do that. Most guys who approach to date me are my good friends first so they already know about me.

Yes I know all that, but it wasn't what I meant. You say you seek a monogamous relationship, so presumably when you are working and you tell punters that your partner knows you work, you are not in a serious monogamous relationship?

[king tarzan]

Yes I know all that, but it wasn't what I meant. You say you seek a monogamous relationship, so presumably when you are working and you tell punters that your partner knows you work, you are not in a serious monogamous relationship?

You are a very 🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊

[bristolnick]

Have you told any of your partners that you punt?

[Blackpool Rock]

Yes I know all that, but it wasn't what I meant. You say you seek a monogamous relationship, so presumably when you are working and you tell punters that your partner knows you work, you are not in a serious monogamous relationship?

Yeah there's sort of 2 things she's saying here -
1. That some of her partners ere friends or knew her / what she did before dating her in which case they went in eyes wide open
2. If they don't know then she tells them in 3 weeks, I can imaging that being a bit of a 

But i'm also picking up that when she's in a relationship and still working that she expects the man not to be shagging around paid or free 
If that's the case then it appears a bit cake and eat it really   

[king tarzan]

Yeah there's sort of 2 things she's saying here -
1. That some of her partners ere friends or knew her / what she did before dating her in which case they went in eyes wide open
2. If they don't know then she tells them in 3 weeks, I can imaging that being a bit of a 

But i'm also picking up that when she's in a relationship and still working that she expects the man not to be shagging around paid or free 
If that's the case then it appears a bit cake and eat it really 

Sounds a whole bunch of unhinged bollox

[Lou2019]

Sounds a whole bunch of unhinged bollox

And you’d know all about that

[dubs]

I always think this must be a massive dilemma for WGs when they want a serious relationship.  Do they tell the guy early and risk scaring them off immediately, or wait until the relationship is serious and then hurting them by letting them know they have been sucking off tom, dick and abdul all day before seeing them at night.  And of course lying to them about their day, leading a double life, risking STis

And there's also the risk of being outed, found out etc.

[KatieEdinburgh]

Yes I know all that, but it wasn't what I meant. You say you seek a monogamous relationship, so presumably when you are working and you tell punters that your partner knows you work, you are not in a serious monogamous relationship?

Why would that mean it’s not a serious monogamous relationship? I don’t see clients as romantic endeavours, I’m working so it’s not the same. I don’t see anyone else for civvy sex, as yes that would be cheating lol.

Working =/= romantic involvement ?? They’re not the same.

Yeah there's sort of 2 things she's saying here -
1. That some of her partners ere friends or knew her / what she did before dating her in which case they went in eyes wide open
2. If they don't know then she tells them in 3 weeks, I can imaging that being a bit of a 

But i'm also picking up that when she's in a relationship and still working that she expects the man not to be shagging around paid or free 
If that's the case then it appears a bit cake and eat it really 

In reply to your points

1. No I’m saying ALL my friends and current or ex-partners know, not just some. If they didn’t know (and also didn’t accept it) then I doubt they’d ever make it to “partner” status?
And friends who disapprove, well then I cut them out my circle lol.

2. I would always tell them before 3 weeks. That number came from the post I was replying to, where I said I tell people usually either the first or second time I meet them, but usually they already know.

It’s never seen as having cake and eating it to me, it’s just work and that’s not the same as dating. Tbh I’m less likely to cheat than others because mostly I see dick all the time, I’m not tempted to go out and look for even MORE men I’m over that 


Maybe it’s just a more modern approach who knows 

[Doc Holliday]

Why would that mean it’s not a serious monogamous relationship? I don’t see clients as romantic endeavours, I’m working so it’s not the same. I don’t see anyone else for civvy sex, as yes that would be cheating lol.

Working =/= romantic involvement ?? They’re not the same.

Because it is not a monogamous relationship. A monogamous relationship is defined as only having one sexual partner. 'Romance' is irrelevant to the definition.

The 'just a job' does not change that just as Swingers are not in monogamous relationships.

[king tarzan]

Because it is not a monogamous relationship. A monogamous relationship is defined as only having one sexual partner. 'Romance' is irrelevant to the definition.

The 'just a job' does not change that just as Swingers are not in monogamous relationships.

Last paragraph I wouldn't even term a relationship
Just a bunch of bollox

[KatieEdinburgh]

Also a thought experiment……

Do you consider actors who film kissing scenes (legitimate hollywood film industry) to be not monogamous if they are otherwise only seeing one person? It’s just doing their job, right?

And then porn? They may fuck other people plenty of times but might still have a monogamous relationships outside of porn. Because your work, is not the same as romantic involvement.

I’ll agree that escorting is often the hardest for a partner to cope with, usually, as for my partner that’s mainly because they worry about my safety. And on the sliding scale between legitimate acting and sex work, you obviously do more intimate things in sex work then actors will. But my feelings toward it is much the same, it’s just a job to me and I’m not romantically seeing my clients.



I really loved this video. When I saw the title I thought it might be shock-value cliched stereotypes about the sex industry, but got to watching it realised how they all have surprisingly healthy relationships which is refreshing for that to be the narrative published in the media

External Link/Members Only

All I’m saying is. Yes like lots of relationships it can take work from both sides, but it certainly is POSSIBLE to have an open, fully honest relationship as a sex worker ❤️

[king tarzan]

Also a thought experiment……

Do you consider actors who film kissing scenes (legitimate hollywood film industry) to be not monogamous if they are otherwise only seeing one person? It’s just doing their job, right?

And then porn? They may fuck other people plenty of times but might still have a monogamous relationships outside of porn. Because your work, is not the same as romantic involvement.

I’ll agree that escorting is often the hardest for a partner to cope with, usually, as for my partner that’s mainly because they worry about my safety. And on the sliding scale between legitimate acting and sex work, you obviously do more intimate things in sex work then actors will. But my feelings toward it is much the same, it’s just a job to me and I’m not romantically seeing my clients.



I really loved this video. When I saw the title I thought it might be shock-value cliched stereotypes about the sex industry, but got to watching it realised how they all have surprisingly healthy relationships which is refreshing for that to be the narrative published in the media

External Link/Members Only

All I’m saying is. Yes like lots of relationships it can take work from both sides, but it certainly is POSSIBLE to have an open, fully honest relationship as a sex worker ❤️

Convince yourself

[KatieEdinburgh]

Because it is not a monogamous relationship. A monogamous relationship is defined as only having one sexual partner. 'Romance' is irrelevant to the definition.

The 'just a job' does not change that just as Swingers are not in monogamous relationships.

Ah well. I guess we’re talking about different ways we define it then.
You’re talking about *sexually* while I’m talking about *romantically* monogamous.

If they were the same, you wouldn’t get asexual people in loving monogamous relationships, but you do and it happens. Each to their own as always, what’s needed is communication and honesty from both parties.

[Colston36]

Convince yourself

You are quite exceptionally narrow-minded.

[Doc Holliday]

Ah well. I guess we’re talking about different ways we define it then.
You’re talking about *sexually* while I’m talking about *romantically* monogamous.

If they were the same, you wouldn’t get asexual people in loving monogamous relationships, but you do and it happens. Each to their own as always, what’s needed is communication and honesty from both parties.

But we are talking here about sexual monogamy, because you have sex with other men. Unless you don't have sex with your partner?

[KatieEdinburgh]

I can’t be in a polyamorous relationship as I’m not in love with my clients in the way I love my partner. But I can’t be single as I’m in a long term relationship. And it’s not cheating as everyone knows and agrees to it. But I’m not swinging as neither me or my partner sees anyone else, in a group or alone. I don’t even consider it sleeping around as I’m not doing it for fun rather it’s my job. Sorry if I consider the most accurate term to be romantically monogamous perhaps that’s what some would call “ethical non-monogamy” but I just don’t like or relate to that term.

The point being if everyone’s happy with the situation, then there’s not a problem.

And as for replying to you KT you haven’t really added anything to the discussion so don’t mind if I don’t respond but, if you think it’s bollocks then that doesn’t really bother me, in fact it’s probably a good sign actually.

[king tarzan]

You are quite exceptionally narrow-minded.

 

[Blackpool Rock]

Ah well. I guess we’re talking about different ways we define it then.
You’re talking about *sexually* while I’m talking about *romantically* monogamous.

If they were the same, you wouldn’t get asexual people in loving monogamous relationships, but you do and it happens. Each to their own as always, what’s needed is communication and honesty from both parties.

You may have a different way of looking at things as you are a sex worker and by definition are more likely to be open minded about anything to do with sex however how many wives / GF's would simply brush it off as "Not romantically involved therefore it's OK" if they found out their husband / BF had been paying for sex  Not many 
I do believe that some wives are more likely to accept a partner has been unfaithful if it was "Just sex" as in a 1 night stand rather than an affair which involves a bit more planning and deceit and is more for love than just sex, some women would find paid sex worse than anything due to the negative stereotypes surrounding it

Yet you did say (As I recall) that you would expect your partner to be monogamous but then go on to make a distinction to try and justify yourself between sexual and romantic monogamy.
So on that basis you must be OK if your partner went out and had a 1 night stand every weekend as it's just sex and not romantically involved 

As I previously said I think you want your cake and eat it   

[KatieEdinburgh]

You may have a different way of looking at things as you are a sex worker and by definition are more likely to be open minded about anything to do with sex however how many wives / GF's would simply brush it off as "Not romantically involved therefore it's OK" if they found out their husband / BF had been paying for sex  Not many 
I do believe that some wives are more likely to accept a partner has been unfaithful if it was "Just sex" as in a 1 night stand rather than an affair which involves a bit more planning and deceit and is more for love than just sex, some women would find paid sex worse than anything due to the negative stereotypes surrounding it

Yet you did say (As I recall) that you would expect your partner to be monogamous but then go on to make a distinction to try and justify yourself between sexual and romantic monogamy.
So on that basis you must be OK if your partner went out and had a 1 night stand every weekend as it's just sex and not romantically involved 

As I previously said I think you want your cake and eat it 

Big difference between your wife/GF finding out and being angry is due to deception. You didn’t get prior permission to do that, versus my partner already knows and can agree to it, there’s no lying involved. I think there’s at least one guy here who punts with full permission of his wife, it would be more similar to that eg. Ethical non-monogamy.

My partner doesn’t get to sleep around for fun as I’m not sleeping around for fun either, I’m working. The equal scenario would be if he also worked as a male SP, maybe in porn as male SPs aren’t really a thing unless gay. Booking an escort is not equal as that’s for your pleasure. When you’re working, you wouldn’t be doing it if you weren’t getting paid. So it’s not the same (to us anyway).

I think the video I linked before demonstrated it well. A few of them describe the difference between the sex they have for work and the sex they have with their partner as being totally different. The work can get tiring and it’s also somewhat pretend, you’re trying to put on a show for the camera (or for the client) and with their partner they consider it much more “intimate”.**
It’s worth watching- External Link/Members Only


**note, obviously a good escort will give a brilliant version of intimacy so it can be hard to tell the difference, which is why the main distinction is how the SP views the sex. I don’t “love” my clients, sure I can give an impression of true intimacy, but then the way I see it with my partner is more of a mental distinction. It’s complicated.

[Doc Holliday]

My partner doesn’t get to sleep around for fun as I’m not sleeping around for fun either, I’m working.

So you would be happy for your partner(s) to be male escorts or porn stars?

Let's remove romance from the discussion as well as any deception for a level playing field.  Let's concentrate on defining fun?

Do you never derive enjoyment from sex while you are working?

[KatieEdinburgh]

So you would be happy for your partner(s) to be male escorts or porn stars?

Let's remove romance from the discussion as well as any deception for a level playing field.  Let's concentrate on defining fun?

Do you never derive enjoyment from sex while you are working?

Yes, I would actually be fine with that. Some of the best longest lasting SP couples are both sex workers themselves in my experience, although I’ve only known lesbian SP-SP couples (power couples?) in real life.

There’s more money in male stripping, porn, or producing other content such as OnlyFans than there is in straight male FSSW, so it’s unlikely to actually be ever a career choice that happens but I have been with guys who have filmed content. It’s not an issue and if I did have a problem with that then yes I would consider that hypocritical.

For reference, I’d actually be alright with them with them seeing other people (open relationship) and have mentioned this to them, but they haven’t wanted to do that. I’d also be happy with us having bi threesomes but again, us being “ethically” monogamous is more his choice than mine. He’s not interested in threesomes, which people say is every man’s fantasy 


Yes I can derive pleasure from sessions, not in every booking but sometimes does happen  doesn’t mean that I love the client though ??? When I masturbate I don’t consider marrying my vibrator either  I guess the distinction for me boils down to 1. emotional connection and 2. an ability to see a future with this person, which I wouldn’t say I have with clients.


But it’s fine if not everyone understands, as there’s lots of different ways of doing relationships in life and mine certainly won’t even be the strangest.

The main thing is if everyone’s happy, it’s definitely a very modern set up not everyone can hack it but SPs throughout the course of history have sometimes had boyfriends, husbands, and wives etc who manage just fine ❤️❤️

[versace]

I have told every long term partner I’ve ever been with about my job. Sometimes I’ve been on a break during that time but I still will tell them that either I used to escort, or still do, whichever is true. I don’t feel I HAVE to disclose to short term partners if perhaps it’s only a one night stand but to be honest I often tell them anyway.

In my experience actually less people seem to mind these days, the current generation of young people tends to respect the hustle to be fair.  I’m lucky that it’s rarely been negative reactions or faced much judgement even from people I don’t know well.

Some SPs will tell partners, some won’t. But you’d be surprised actually how many ARE transparent about their job.

I get asked literally ALL the time by clients, “So do any of your friends know what you do..?” And I reply, yes all of them know, my partner knows, I’m open with my job with my entire circle apart from parents (no real need to). Clients are usually surprised by that info I don’t know why. They assume it’s all got to be top secret I guess 

So you lie to them?! 

[Punting2022]

What if your partner found out. A bizzare scenario. He books a outcalk under fake name ovs. Open the door to hotel and there his partner is as a p rossie.

Whats worse is if a old uncle etc was booking

[king tarzan]

So you lie to them?! 

To be fair many people lie

Some are compulsive liars..
Some lie to protect others from heartbreak

[KatieEdinburgh]

So you lie to them?! 

Yes correct, I choose not to tell them about sex work in the same way I’d choose to not tell them about having done drugs in the past or being sexually assaulted. There’s nothing to gain other than making them upset. I’m sure you can understand my reasoning.

In the same way I don’t put sex work on my CV (I would in the future, if the stigma reduces!!). I choose to lie in these two specific circumstances as there would only be negative consequences to that. But I’m not dating my employer, so I don’t *owe* it to them in the same way imo.


There’s plenty of things I trust my partner to keep from my parents, and it’s not only me doing sex work. I probably wouldn’t be comfortable speaking to family members about any kind of bedroom activities? Some SPs do have a good relationship with family though and are fully “out” as I’ve seen this.

Doesn’t go against what I said though, which that is I am transparent with my whole friends circle, and all my partners current and ex, about what I do for a living.

[KatieEdinburgh]

What if your partner found out. A bizzare scenario. He books a outcalk under fake name ovs. Open the door to hotel and there his partner is as a p rossie.

Whats worse is if a old uncle etc was booking

Well exactly why I’d always tell partners, so this wouldn’t happen.

But it’s interesting as this exact plot line happens in Secret Diary of A London Call Girl. Not impossible but with careful screening pretty easily avoided.

[versace]

To be fair many people lie

Some are compulsive liars..
Some lie to protect others from heartbreak

In my experience all prossies are masterful liars and actresses.

[pbrown355]

I don't understand why so many of us on here feel it essential to pick apart the logic/rationale of how some SPs want to reveal or conceal their sex work. Why would anyone think our opinion is important enough to matter. Each person deals with it in their own way and the only thing that's important is that it works for them. Others' views of what is moral/right and what isn't is irrelevant as long as it's all legal.