External Link/Members OnlyHi guys. It might be considered bad form to lose my posting virginity with a negative review but hey ho. I've been lurking on the forum for quite a while and thanks to the good people here i've had some great punts. Hot Ameera, New Polish Girl Kate, Anal Fuck Vikki all spring to mind. I was therefore fairly confident that Hot Katalina would also live up to the hype. Sadly this could not be further from the truth.
COMMSKatalina does not do emails or text, you have to phone her. OK thinks i, bit of a faff, but her body, her rules. I phone the day before my proposed trip to enquire about availability. When i eventually get through i'm greeted by an icy cold monotone informing me to phone on the day in question. At this stage every fibre of my being is screaming at me to abort, but like a retard i phone the next day to be given some crappy directions "N11". Now obviously she can't text me the address as that would be far too retarded. Hop on the tube to Arnos Grove & phone again for more directions only to realise she's got the appointment time off by an hour (this is why we use text Katalina.. ABORT ABORT) We clear up this admin blunder and finally i get directions to the street. Phone again to get the house number. Phone again when i'm at the door.
LOCATIONHovel would be being generous. I've seen more inviting cesspits.
ESCORTLook very closely at the photos of her on A/W. I mean
real close. Zero emotion behind the eyes. Picture that look of haughty contempt. Notice how she's not smiling in any of them, not even a half-way grin. She's just like that in the flesh. GFE my ass. I asked to use the shower and she went and fetched me a damp grotty towel. Shudder...
BEDROOMNow i consider myself a sophisticated punter. I like to lavish attention on a woman. Kisses, caresses and plenty of DATY. Boy was this a mistake. All my tried & tested techniques were received with a mixture of horror and derision. Consider this gem of condescension;
"Have you ever given oral to a woman before?!"
(internal reply ->
Yes you miserable cow, dozens, and they all fucking loved it!)
"I feel nothing except at my clit. You want to give me pleasure, just lick my clit"
(
Then you're a freak. I've not met a woman in 20 years who didn't take pleasure from pussy play)
"I'm sorry i just don't feel any chemical between us"
(
I assume you mean chemistry. Besides, who gives a shit. You are a service provider. I don't need you to like me)
Katalina attempted some lousy oral but by then any passion had been well and truly deflated along with my erection and i called it a day after 30 mins into a one hour booking. This includes the time it took for two showers (with the same goddamn towel! grrrr...)
CONSShite Comms
Shite Location
Escort entirely devoid of affection or hospitality
Lousy attitude
PROSKatalina mercifully talked me out of a two hour booking (before the meet)
PS. Took my battered ego to Farringdon and spent a delightful 2 hours in the company of Mia who reminded me just how great punting can be. Thanks Mia!