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Author Topic: Tips and advice please for my first ever punt  (Read 3183 times)

Blyton90

  • Guest
It's been a long time fantasy of mine to have a massage with a HE. On advice from a few members on here I have decided to make an appointment to see Chanel at Heavens Above in Lincoln for a massage and HR.

This will be the first time I have ever done anything like this. I am married and get sex relatively regularly...ish. But this has been something I have wanted to do for some time.

It will take some planning but I wondered if you guys had any hints or tips for me please?

Offline hungrypunt

Enjoy any pre punt Nerves, they disappear and I kinda miss em

Blyton90

  • Guest
Oh I'll most certainly be nervous. My heart will be racing. But I'm looking forward to arranging somthing as soon as I come up with a slick alibi.

Offline Happyjose

It's been a long time fantasy of mine to have a massage with a HE. On advice from a few members on here I have decided to make an appointment to see Chanel at Heavens Above in Lincoln for a massage and HR.

This will be the first time I have ever done anything like this. I am married and get sex relatively regularly...ish. But this has been something I have wanted to do for some time.

It will take some planning but I wondered if you guys had any hints or tips for me please?

Yeah, I reckon you're here to cause mischief.

maybe you could title your next thread "5 shuffle me off to oblivion"

Blyton90

  • Guest
Yeah, I reckon you're here to cause mischief.

maybe you could title your next thread "5 shuffle me off to oblivion"

Eh?

Offline YorkshireLad

Eh?

A lot of us on here are suspicious about new posters especially around school holidays. Best thing you can do is go for this massage & post a review once you're done  :thumbsup:
« Last Edit: April 30, 2017, 11:17:13 pm by YorkshireLad »

Blyton90

  • Guest
Sorry, I'm just a bit hyped up about finally doing this. I've never really researched anything as I never realised massage places with HR actually existed in the UK and since finding out I've gone a bit OCD.

Never meant to rub anyone up the wrong way...no pun intended.  :D

kamu

  • Guest
Sorry, I'm just a bit hyped up about finally doing this. I've never really researched anything as I never realised massage places with HR actually existed in the UK and since finding out I've gone a bit OCD.

Never meant to rub anyone up the wrong way...no pun intended.  :D

I wouldn't recommend you rub the masseusse up the wrongun either :lol:.

Blyton90

  • Guest
I wouldn't recommend you rub the masseusse up the wrongun either :lol:.

I'll be a good boy and do as I'm told.  :thumbsup:

fredpunter

  • Guest

I wondered if you guys had any hints or tips for me please?

Make sure you have the correct money and you've washed your knob. She will take care of the rest. Assuming you're genuine .... which I have serious doubts about.

mrhappypants

  • Guest
My advice is that you only post again when you can share your first review.

Blyton90

  • Guest
Make sure you have the correct money and you've washed your knob. She will take care of the rest. Assuming you're genuine .... which I have serious doubts about.

What is it that makes you think that?

Blyton90

  • Guest
My advice is that you only post again when you can share your first review.

I can understand that this type of forum would be full of secretive, sensitive guys. But what exactly is is that is making you all think I'm not genuine?

Offline Happyjose

....what exactly is is that is making you all think I'm not genuine?

You sound like a bullshitter

Your posts follow a pattern of similar ones we have all seen from different posters over the years that never actually come to anything

The term "slick alibi"

There's more, but that should be enough.

You've been given more than enough advice so far, there's first class advice for new punters in the wiki links at the bottom of the page.

Prove us wrong and go and book a prostitute. We all wish you the best of luck, and after you can let us know how it went

fredpunter

  • Guest
You sound like a bullshitter

Your posts follow a pattern of similar ones we have all seen from different posters over the years that never actually come to anything

The term "slick alibi"

There's more, but that should be enough.

You've been given more than enough advice so far, there's first class advice for new punters in the wiki links at the bottom of the page.

Prove us wrong and go and book a prostitute. We all wish you the best of luck, and after you can let us know how it went

+1  .... who says "slick alibi" apart from women and teenagers? Are you from mums net?

Offline Jumping Jack Flash

You're going to a TCM place? Remember to take chopsticks, a napkin and to wear a condom at all times.

fredpunter

  • Guest
And if they ask if you want hot chilli sauce for God's sake say no

Offline joe diddley

Accept a shower beforehand if offered, even if you had one before setting off. Being seen to be clean may well ensure a dirtier experience.

Offline RedKettle

Don't wear your school uniform, unless you are middle aged and that is your thing...

Blyton90

  • Guest
Thanks for the scepticism. I can understand why you all a little cynical of newcomers. But I can assure you I am genuine.  I will of course post a review when I've been.

Offline hungrypunt

Thanks for the scepticism. I can understand why you all a little cynical of newcomers. But I can assure you I am genuine.  I will of course post a review when I've been.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but your continual posting responses smell of being a dick.
Go and get it done then come back with review and youll be taken more seriously

Blyton90

  • Guest
I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but your continual posting responses smell of being a dick.
Go and get it done then come back with review and youll be taken more seriously

And if I didn't respond I'd be accused of being ignorant or not appreciating the help. Looks like you can't win on here. I'm getting the feeling some of you are a little bit bitter because I'm getting sex at home and don't actually have to pay for it like many of you do, but I'm paying for it because it's a fantasy. Don't take out your misery on the newcomers. It's hardly welcoming is it.

fredpunter

  • Guest
And if I didn't respond I'd be accused of being ignorant or not appreciating the help. Looks like you can't win on here. I'm getting the feeling some of you are a little bit bitter because I'm getting sex at home and don't actually have to pay for it like many of you do, but I'm paying for it because it's a fantasy. Don't take out your misery on the newcomers. It's hardly welcoming is it.

Oh dear. You better get that review done quick ... I fear you won't be here long.

Blyton90

  • Guest
Oh dear. You better get that review done quick ... I fear you won't be here long.

Why? Am I likely to be banned for voicing my opinion? Or do you guys simply not like people who don't need to pay for sex?

fredpunter

  • Guest
Why? Am I likely to be banned for voicing my opinion? Or do you guys simply not like people who don't need to pay for sex?

You're likely to be banned for being a silly arse who doesn't listen to advice ... be grateful for the advice you've received ... then keep your gob shut till you are ready to contribute something useful and don't slag off the existing membership ... then you will be welcome.

fredpunter

  • Guest
Why? Am I likely to be banned for voicing my opinion? Or do you guys simply not like people who don't need to pay for sex?

Ps I think you will find that there are many here who don't need to pay for sex... you are far from unique in that respect ... as the old saying goes ... we don't pay for sex, we pay for them to leave afterwards

Blyton90

  • Guest
I've taken the advise and been thankful for it. I don't see exactly how I've been an arse? Or any of the other things I've been called. I always thought forums, by their very nature were "discussion" boards.  But I'm being complained at for doing just that.

Thanks for the warm welcome anyway guys. Not that I need to but  I'll prove you all wrong.

Offline Happyjose

Why? Am I likely to be banned for voicing my opinion? Or do you guys simply not like people who don't need to pay for sex?

Didn't take long to smoke you out.

Thanks for confirming that you're a time-wasting, self-loathing twat.

Blyton90

  • Guest
Didn't take long to smoke you out.

Thanks for confirming that you're a time-wasting, self-loathing twat.

"Smoke me out". Oh dear. So just because someone comes along and doesn't fit into your pre-perceived pigeon hole of someone who belongs on this site, automatically makes me a lair?

What exactly is it you all think I have to gain from pretending to need help and advice? I've seriously never met more cynical people in my life. 

fredpunter

  • Guest
Which bit of keep you gob shut and don't insult the members wasnt clear? I can only assume you want to be banned.

Offline Tricky Dickie

And if I didn't respond I'd be accused of being ignorant or not appreciating the help. Looks like you can't win on here. I'm getting the feeling some of you are a little bit bitter because I'm getting sex at home and don't actually have to pay for it like many of you do, but I'm paying for it because it's a fantasy. Don't take out your misery on the newcomers. It's hardly welcoming is it.
Why? Am I likely to be banned for voicing my opinion? Or do you guys simply not like people who don't need to pay for sex?
I've taken the advise and been thankful for it. I don't see exactly how I've been an arse? Or any of the other things I've been called. I always thought forums, by their very nature were "discussion" boards.  But I'm being complained at for doing just that.

Thanks for the warm welcome anyway guys. Not that I need to but  I'll prove you all wrong.
"Smoke me out". Oh dear. So just because someone comes along and doesn't fit into your pre-perceived pigeon hole of someone who belongs on this site, automatically makes me a lair?

What exactly is it you all think I have to gain from pretending to need help and advice? I've seriously never met more cynical people in my life.

Actually you are being an arse. You asked a question. Fine. A few members are a bit sceptical. That's just the way this board is if you've been reading other threads you should see that.

You started being an arse when you joined the argument. All you needed to do was post "thanks for the advice, watch out for my review." Instead you seem to have to have the last word. And trying to reinforce your argument by getting personal about other people is the kind of thing a teenager does. Or some of the less mature members of this board.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2017, 12:48:07 pm by Tricky Dickie »

Blyton90

  • Guest
Actually you are being an arse. You asked a question. Fine. A few members are a bit sceptical. That's just the way this board is if you've been reading other threads you should see that.

You started being an arse when you joined the argument. All you needed to do was post "thanks for the advice, watch out for my review." Instead you seem to have to have the last word. And trying to reinforce your argument by getting personal about other people is the kind of thing a teenager does. Or some of the less mature members of this board.

And you lot are doing exactly the same thing to me. But because I'm new I've got to keep my mouth shut?

Offline Happyjose

And you lot are doing exactly the same thing to me. But because I'm new I've got to keep my mouth shut?

No, you should keep your mouth shut because you're acting like a cunt - nothing to do with how long you've been here.

You crossed a line that often results in a banning when you made the comment about members needing to pay for sex


mrhappypants

  • Guest
And you lot are doing exactly the same thing to me. But because I'm new I've got to keep my mouth shut?

I am betting you will be banned within 48 hours.


Offline Tricky Dickie

And you lot are doing exactly the same thing to me. But because I'm new I've got to keep my mouth shut?

Glad to see you read my message. Not so glad that you didn't bother thinking about it.

I've been on this board a lot longer than you. If I get in an argument with a knob I just post a message saying why they are wrong and then walk away. It's a fucking discussion board, not world politics. You don't have to win every time. A smarter thing would be to do the deed, post a review and then add a message to this thread referencing the review. That way you "win" if that's what's important to you.

Blyton90

  • Guest
Glad to see you read my message. Not so glad that you didn't bother thinking about it.

I've been on this board a lot longer than you. If I get in an argument with a knob I just post a message saying why they are wrong and then walk away. It's a fucking discussion board, not world politics. You don't have to win every time. A smarter thing would be to do the deed, post a review and then add a message to this thread referencing the review. That way you "win" if that's what's important to you.

My next post will be a review.  And I am genuinely grateful for your help. Without it I wouldn't have found a place. So thank you. 

Offline Happyjose

My next post will be a review.  And I am genuinely grateful for your help. Without it I wouldn't have found a place. So thank you.

Out of interest, do you have a super slick alibi for how long you've spent posting on here?

You could have made your bones by now instead of fannying around

Blyton90

  • Guest
Out of interest, do you have a super slick alibi for how long you've spent posting on here?

You could have made your bones by now instead of fannying around

Yeah.  I'm at work.

taplow

  • Guest
I have to say Blyton90, and no offence here, but that the way you write does come across as a little bit feminine - maybe some feminazi impressing her friends with her stealth tactics. I hope that I'm wrong here and I don't want to say how people should have to fit into certain roles and be this or that.  However your voice comes across as a little bit phoney and your accusation that members can only get sex if they pay for it hints at someone with an agenda.
Still, if I'm wrong then sorry, and have a good time with whatsername.
 

Blyton90

  • Guest
I have to say Blyton90, and no offence here, but that the way you write does come across as a little bit feminine - maybe some feminazi impressing her friends with her stealth tactics. I hope that I'm wrong here and I don't want to say how people should have to fit into certain roles and be this or that.  However your voice comes across as a little bit phoney and your accusation that members can only get sex if they pay for it hints at someone with an agenda.
Still, if I'm wrong then sorry, and have a good time with whatsername.
 

Sadly can't get a massage with Chanel. Just called to book her but she's my doing it any more as she's pregnant. But I really am a guy with no agenda other than to find a nice girl who gives a nice massage with a nice HE at the end of it.

Offline threechilliman

And if I didn't respond I'd be accused of being ignorant or not appreciating the help. Looks like you can't win on here. I'm getting the feeling some of you are a little bit bitter because I'm getting sex at home and don't actually have to pay for it like many of you do, but I'm paying for it because it's a fantasy. Don't take out your misery on the newcomers. It's hardly welcoming is it.

Not sure what you're talking about. You've had a warm welcome from UKP, although you don't seem to have realised it. Grow a pair and you'll be fine.

Now back to your point above. I don't have to pay for sex as I get it at home as well - I choose to pay for it 'cos I like shagging lots of different women.

Welcome to UKP btw!

tcm


fredpunter

  • Guest

Blyton90

  • Guest
Sounds like a good experience and reasonable vfm... you're hooked now

I have to say. I went into this with the intention of it being a one time "fantasy realised" thing. Although I am tempted to get another one at some point.

Offline killerbees

It's been a long time fantasy of mine to have a massage with a HE. On advice from a few members on here I have decided to make an appointment to see Chanel at Heavens Above in Lincoln for a massage and HR.

This will be the first time I have ever done anything like this. I am married and get sex relatively regularly...ish. But this has been something I have wanted to do for some time.

It will take some planning but I wondered if you guys had any hints or tips for me please?

My advice is to post on a forum like Mumsnet where your bullshit might have a more captive audience.

Blyton90

  • Guest
My advice is to post on a forum like Mumsnet where your bullshit might have a more captive audience.

Not bullshit. I was told to post a review after I had done the deed. So I did.

I knew I would get called out as a bullshitter so I took the liberty of taking a picture while I was sat waiting as proof.

I'm sure someone who has been before can vouch that the picture is in fact the waiting room.

Hidden Image/Members Only

Offline killerbees

Not bullshit. I was told to post a review after I had done the deed. So I did.

I knew I would get called out as a bullshitter so I took the liberty of taking a picture while I was sat waiting as proof.

I'm sure someone who has been before can vouch that the picture is in fact the waiting room.

Hidden Image/Members Only

Fair enough, I posted without realising you had done a review and was replying to your original post so apologies.
Glad you had a good punt.

Blyton90

  • Guest
Fair enough, I posted without realising you had done a review and was replying to your original post so apologies.
Glad you had a good punt.

No probs mate. Thanks for the apology. It's appreciated. I kinda expected it as I got called a bullshitter quite a bit when I originally posted. Which is why I took the pic.

The girl in the pic isn't the girl I saw though in case anyone was curious.

Offline Jamesbattersea

Not bullshit. I was told to post a review after I had done the deed. So I did.

I knew I would get called out as a bullshitter so I took the liberty of taking a picture while I was sat waiting as proof.

I'm sure someone who has been before can vouch that the picture is in fact the waiting room.

Hidden Image/Members Only


Yeah that's heavens above i've sat on that soffa a few times. That looks like Zoe.
She usex to advertise on viva street with owo and more stuff than just HR. But i'vd never seen her so can't say if she does or not.

Offline Jamesbattersea

I have to say some of you blokes on here have been a bit over zelus towards the new boy!
Did you all go to one of them posh  boarding schools and get picked on.
I think you should chill a bit.