You know you're a punter when...

[Chazz]

Prolly shouldn't flash my professional qualifications here, but:
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Nice work if you can get it! I shall be looking out for the CIMSPA accreditation badge on the door of the next Thai spa I visit!

[webpunter]

Prolly shouldn't flash my professional qualifications here, but:
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Quality 

[Plan R]

Ready reckoner tables in today's papers suggest UK earners get between  450 - 750 quid per year saving following today's budget
NI rate cut. I bet many of us just translated it as 3 - 5 punts gratis
 

[webpunter]

Ready reckoner tables in today's papers suggest UK earners get between  450 - 750 quid per year saving following today's budget
NI rate cut. I bet many of us just translated it as 3 - 5 punts gratis
 

& / or a few more massage HE R&T sessions

Tho the stealth tax with tax allowance brackets not increasing with pay rises & inflation has the opposite effect

[Plan R]

This lot should have the answers WP 
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[nwluvit]

This lot should have the answers WP 
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Imagine working for them.
Double entry book-keeping just took on a whole new meaning!!

[DouglasReynholm]

Imagine working for them.
Double entry book-keeping just took on a whole new meaning!!

That was literally so funny I pushed your Like button. 

[webpunter]

This lot should have the answers WP 
External Link/Members Only

Quality
Double entry 

[Captainhowdy666]

You know you’re a punter when ….
The missus has fucked off out multiple times, giving you the perfect window of opportunity to fill your boots nearly every day this week.
But I’ve got fucking man-flu and can’t even muster up a wank
What a waste

[big-al93]

You know you’re a punter when ….
The missus has fucked off out multiple times, giving you the perfect window of opportunity to fill your boots nearly every day this week.
But I’ve got fucking man-flu and can’t even muster up a wank
What a waste

Or maybe she has fucked off out to get stuff done while you can't punt on purpose, so that she doesn't have to when you are better!

[myothernameis]

When you get asked what do you fancy for dinner tonight

I think I fancy a Chinese 

[nombre]

When you're flicking through Netflix and blurt out 'I need to add this one to my hotlist'

[webpunter]

When you get asked what do you fancy for dinner tonight

I think I fancy a Chinese 

When going for a evening R&T i like having a chinese then pick up a chinese takeaway on the way home to keep the theme going
Occasionally a thai & thai

There are similarities between R&T & eats
As more chinese than thai takeaways
On a thai i'll usually end up getting a takeout from a restaurant & they're more expensive
I prefer thai [shaven havens rather than the amazon jungle, fitter, nicer & bigger racks]
Tho usually more time & effort to get to them & more dosh 
Thai is more tasty & nowt worse than getting a pubic hair stuck in back of froat 
 

[The0neAnd0nly]

When going for a evening R&T i like having a chinese then pick up a chinese takeaway on the way home to keep the theme going
Occasionally a thai & thai

There are similarities between R&T & eats
As more chinese than thai takeaways
On a thai i'll usually end up getting a takeout from a restaurant & they're more expensive
I prefer thai [shaven havens rather than the amazon jungle, fitter, nicer & bigger racks]
Tho usually more time & effort to get to them & more dosh 
Thai is more tasty & nowt worse than getting a pubic hair stuck in back of froat 

Gotta agree prefer Thai too, especially the more tanned ones compared to paler Chinese.

You see plenty of Chinese woman and places masquerading as Thai (like we can't tell the difference lol) but rarely the other way? Maybe Thai is generally seen more specialist/ exotic?

[Thephoenix]

When going for a evening R&T i like having a chinese then pick up a chinese takeaway on the way home to keep the theme going
Occasionally a thai & thai

There are similarities between R&T & eats

Maybe that's why I always fancy a sausage buttie after a TS punt.

[Punting2022]

Googling escorts in the country your on holiday in or going too.

[webpunter]

Maybe that's why I always fancy a sausage buttie after a TS punt.

Brilliant PMSL 
I had a quick scan of your reviews, we've both ticked off post
Note to self - must do it again
If you go for more maybe pop by the chippy after & have chips & a batty [edit:  ooops battered] sausage 

[Bonker]

Maybe that's why I always fancy a sausage buttie after a TS punt.

I fancy fish fingers.
Must increase my punting budget!

[webpunter]

I fancy fish fingers.
Must increase my punting budget!

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[Thephoenix]

I fancy fish fingers.
Must increase my punting budget!

 

[issacchilemba]

And for my random punting related post of the day I thought I would share my strange mental association with the smell of freshly washed and drying towels (or any other linen for that matter) and the automatic mental association I have with entering a punting establishment. . .

I am sure we all know that smell, upon entering a punting establishment and the waft of lenor, washing powder, or whatever other brand of softener/washing powder which they use, as some tiny flat tries to deal with the 40 towels drying in the front room!

Well for me that smell has now manifested itself into automatic mental flashbacks/association every time I hang out a wash or walk into a room with washing drying. . .much similar to many of the Washing Powder/Capsule adverts I take in a big sniff and sigh with a smile as a reminisce about some of the many experiences I have had over the years. . .maybe I should send them my idea for their next marketing campaign. . .

So random question. . .is there anyone else out there who shares this strange association. . .or is it just me?
 

[mr.bluesky]

I think it's just you , although sometimes when you go into a Chinese takeaway and see one of those waving cat ornaments  I automatically think of the Chinese/ Thai massage parlours who always seem to have one 

[SonofAJohn]

The sound of high heels walking...

[Dipper]

When I’m Lost and looking for some obscure street in the arse end of nowhere.

[badsin]

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=19404.0

Remarkably similar thread "you know your a punter when"
Are they worth merging?

[Jomoore]

In the Sheffield parlours it's more the smell of towels drying that they haven't bothered washing 

[Derrick101]

'Do not Disturb' signs hanging on hotel room door handles !

[Jumping Jack Flash]

Back in the day it was those white beautician tunics with press stud fasteners

[mr.bluesky]

Back in the day it was those white beautician tunics with press stud fasteners

  oh yes, many of the Brum massage parlour girls used to wear them 

[issacchilemba]

I think it's just you , although sometimes when you go into a Chinese takeaway and see one of those waving cat ornaments  I automatically think of the Chinese/ Thai massage parlours who always seem to have one 

Haha. . .if only those little cats could talk then we would all be in trouble 

[issacchilemba]

When I’m Lost and looking for some obscure street in the arse end of nowhere.

HAHA!
Yes punters are probably better than Delivery Drivers at finding a location, under pressure, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night!
Untapped resource!

[issacchilemba]

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=19404.0

Remarkably similar thread "you know your a punter when"
Are they worth merging?

Wow, 74 pages starting from a post in 2013, no way I can compete with that! I'll add my initial post to that thread!

[daviemac]

Wow, 74 pages starting from a post in 2013, no way I can compete with that! I'll add my initial post to that thread!

I've merged them mate, no point in having replies to you in two threads.

[willie loman]

And for my random punting related post of the day I thought I would share my strange mental association with the smell of freshly washed and drying towels (or any other linen for that matter) and the automatic mental association I have with entering a punting establishment. . .

I am sure we all know that smell, upon entering a punting establishment and the waft of lenor, washing powder, or whatever other brand of softener/washing powder which they use, as some tiny flat tries to deal with the 40 towels drying in the front room!

Well for me that smell has now manifested itself into automatic mental flashbacks/association every time I hang out a wash or walk into a room with washing drying. . .much similar to many of the Washing Powder/Capsule adverts I take in a big sniff and sigh with a smile as a reminisce about some of the many experiences I have had over the years. . .maybe I should send them my idea for their next marketing campaign. . .

So random question. . .is there anyone else out there who shares this strange association. . .or is it just me?
 

If Proust had been a punter,,,,,,,, good post though.

[webpunter]

@Thephoenix got me thinking

www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=349247.msg4042182;topicseen#msg4042182

The board game is made by ⬇️

I much prefer Cheb Valley

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[CigarSmoke]

You know you’re a punter when ….
The missus has fucked off out multiple times, giving you the perfect window of opportunity to fill your boots nearly every day this week.
But I’ve got fucking man-flu and can’t even muster up a wank
What a waste

She's pretending she don't know you punt so she's going out expecting you to punt and try to catch you. Be careful!

[yesbby]

So random question. . .is there anyone else out there who shares this strange association. . .or is it just me?
 

Not just you… there’s a laundry room where I work and also the cleaners store room under the stairs. Opening either door and the sanitising smells confuse me as I can’t quite work out if there’s a Brazilian about to kneel on a bed in her suspenders, can’t quite work out where the bed is, don’t recall if I’ve used mouthwash or if my balls are shaved..

[Bonker]

When you see a television programme listed as strictly come dancing and you think of bdsm and a facial.

[issacchilemba]

When you see a television programme listed as strictly come dancing and you think of bdsm and a facial.

HAHAHA!

[issacchilemba]

Not just you… there’s a laundry room where I work and also the cleaners store room under the stairs. Opening either door and the sanitising smells confuse me as I can’t quite work out if there’s a Brazilian about to kneel on a bed in her suspenders, can’t quite work out where the bed is, don’t recall if I’ve used mouthwash or if my balls are shaved..

Good to know i'm not the only one then! 

[issacchilemba]

I've merged them mate, no point in having replies to you in two threads.

 

[Dylanbob]

Commented on this thread a few times over the years but over the last couple... It is when mates talk about the 6-7s of this world in the gym/office/bar as if they are super models. I just think we'll I mean I wouldn't be embarrassed... But no

Don't get me wrong I'm not above a 7 on a good day, but I do have access to a cashpoint

[Dylanbob]

Commented on this thread a few times over the years but over the last couple... It is when mates talk about the 6-7s of this world in the gym/office/bar as if they are super models. I just think we'll I mean I wouldn't be embarrassed to be if not proud... But no

Don't get me wrong I'm not above a 7 on a good day, but I do have access to a cashpoint

[DouglasReynholm]

Good to know i'm not the only one then! 

They do seem to have a common smell, as if most/a lot of them use same moisturiser. I always think maybe it's special stuff they rub on that kills STD viruses. There is truth in ye olde phrase, a tart's boudoir; civilians women do not smell the same.

You doing cover versions of your own material, Bob?

[Thephoenix]

When you're whizzing through the TV channel list and out of all the programmes your eyes suddenly pick out 'Shameless', and you do a double take as you think it says something else.

Probably just me.

[Southernbloke]

I’m with an earlier punter about the laundry smell and the sound of high heels clicking, always makes me think of punting.

[notcalledchris]

Got in a taxi with a female woman driver lat month and the perfume was unmistakable. 

[webpunter]

Got in a taxi with a female woman driver lat month and the perfume was unmistakable.

Expensive
External Link/Members Only
€185 a bottle wow

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[nwluvit]

you are zoning out in a boring meeting at work when someone mentions B2B

You suddenly pay attention then realise they are talking Business to Business!!

[Webby581]

When you open the bathroom cabinet, see what the OH has added to her collection of balms, and think .... if only! 



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