Nicole Thai - Canary Wharf

[Malvolio]

Link: External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Cost: £160 for one hour.  Note this has a limit of coming twice.

Comms: Phoned up on the day and swiftly arranged a punt in a few hours time.  Got a very detailed text message about available services (including DFK), and what was extra.  Also got a message about how to avoid the concierge in the block of flats she works from.

Venue: Studio flat in a massive new-build block between South Quay and Heron Quays DLR stations.  All modern and excellent for punting in - there must be thousands of people going in and out of that block every day.

Looks: Her profile photos are accurate and show exactly what you're going to get.  Stated age of 25 is probably shaving off a few years, but I'd be surprised if she wasn't under 30.

Figure: A little bit tubbier in real life than I was expecting.  Tits are fake but very well done - only noticed the surgery scars because I got her to sit on my face.  Pleasingly firm arse to get to grips with.

Services: All there as advertised, apart from DFK, but delivered in a very perfunctory manner.  You couldn't really class this as a GFE unless your girlfriend was in a mood and chose to shag in a passive-aggressive manner.  The thing that has turned this from neutral to negative is that just as I penetrated her for the first time her phone went off, and she spent 15 seconds firing off a message whilst I was pumping away.  It's not exactly great customer service...

Would I return: My previous Thai punt this year is cheaper, offers more services and has a much better attitude.  There's no chance I'm coming back.