Sergie fucks up again or very demanding girl.

[Hungarian Lover]

This one made me laugh, probably doesn't apply to many on here. Rom escort in Cheshire.

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[Happyjose]

This one made me laugh, probably doesn't apply to many on here. Rom escort in Cheshire.

Hidden Image/Members Only

Limiting her market a bit

[mr.bluesky]

Is this golf balls, footballs or rugby balls 

[Littlefoot]

This one made me laugh, probably doesn't apply to many on here. Rom escort in Cheshire.

Hidden Image/Members Only

So service is for men with no balls! Castrations and men unfortunate enough to have had removal surgery due to illness, in other words castrations Only = dusty phone. 

[Thecunninglinguist]

Obviously a good opportunity for Goebbels (You have to be old enough for this one)

[Happylad]

Obviously a good opportunity for Goebbels (You have to be old enough for this one)

I well remember being one of the many schoolboys (and others) who used to chant about Goebbels in this vein as his latest wartime comments were mocked by our comedians, and we were later disappointed to find he had actually sired 5 children who he and/or Mrs. Goebbels murdered immediately before they themselves committed suicide.

Are you in fact actually old enough?

[Thecunninglinguist]

I well remember being one of the many schoolboys (and others) who used to chant about Goebbels in this vein as his latest wartime comments were mocked by our comedians, and we were later disappointed to find he had actually sired 5 children who he and/or Mrs. Goebbels murdered immediately before they themselves committed suicide.

Are you in fact actually old enough?

I know l am not quite as venerable as your good self but l think 72 qualifies?

[S.X. MacHine]

Obviously a good opportunity for Goebbels (You have to be old enough for this one)

Himmler had something simlar......

[Happylad]

I know l am not quite as venerable as your good self but l think 72 qualifies?

So you were not, in fact, even born until at least 2 years after all the Goebbels family had exterminated themselves and each other. Your memory is indeed remarkable.

[WASA38]

Since the plural is used, Hitler would have qualified, as would I and doubtless some others on here.

As my consultant  observed before my orchiectomy, you can fire equally well on one.

[winkywanky]

...but be very careful with it, you no longer have a working spare.

[winkywanky]

So you were not, in fact, even born until at least 2 years after all the Goebbels family had exterminated themselves and each other. Your memory is indeed remarkable.

To be fair, I was only born 60-ish yrs ago but we regularly used to sing 'Hitler has only got one ball' in the playground to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

Important stuff gets passed down from father to son  .

[hillingdonpete]

I am even younger and we sang it too.

[Happylad]

 

To be fair, I was only born 60-ish yrs ago but we regularly used to sing 'Hitler has only got one ball' in the playground to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

Important stuff gets passed down from father to son  .

Then surely, on that time basis, your grandchildren should presently be singing songs referring to the sexual or physical deficiencies of General Leopoldo Galtieri.

 

[Bogof60]

Then surely, on that time basis, your grandchildren should presently be singing songs referring to the sexual or physical deficiencies of General Leopoldo Galtieri.

 

IIRC

It was.only his Navy that was lacking in the balls department.
 

[Happylad]

IIRC

It was.only his Navy that was lacking in the balls department.
 

Navy? You mean that second-hand cruiser we had sold to him?  Well, that was brave enough to come out, but didn`t last long when it did.
           

[mr.bluesky]

To be fair, I was only born 60-ish yrs ago but we regularly used to sing 'Hitler has only got one ball' in the playground to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

Important stuff gets passed down from father to son  .

+1. that's the version I knew. 

[Plan R]

To be fair, I was only born 60-ish yrs ago but we regularly used to sing 'Hitler has only got one ball' in the playground to the tune of Colonel Bogey.
Important stuff gets passed down from father to son  .

  Sung in my playground too (early 1970s)

[winkywanky]

Then surely, on that time basis, your grandchildren should presently be singing songs referring to the sexual or physical deficiencies of General Leopoldo Galtieri.

 

Well he only had one half-decent battleship, and that famously went down  .

[Happylad]

To be fair, I was only born 60-ish yrs ago but we regularly used to sing 'Hitler has only got one ball' in the playground to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

Important stuff gets passed down from father to son  .

Full marks for at least getting that right, although I must confess to some surprise that boys were still singing it 10 years or more after his death.  Do you remember the complete verse?
 "Hitler has only got one ball.
  Goring has two but both are small
  Himmler`s are very similar
  And Goebells are no balls at all"

It was our marching song in the School JTC when I was 15 as we trained for the call-up that fortunately was forestalled by VE Day

[winkywanky]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

[Happylad]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

Seems it got a bit edited in the 25 years after Hitler`s death.
Afraid my fingers led me astray - the last line should read "And Goebells HAD no balls at all"

I would add that although the two invalided CSMs who took us for our training courses actively encouraged us in our vocal efforts. any repetition on school premises automatically resulted in 6 of the very best from our elderly, but still very stalwart, headmaster - another old custom lost forever.

[Nickoname1]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

I'm a couple of years younger than you WW but we still sang this version right up to the end of the 70's.

IIRC, the 3rd and 4th lines involved explaining how poor Adolf's missing jewel had been forcibly been removed by Mrs Hitler senior during his childhood days!

The singing was usually followed by a quick lap around the playground humming the Dambuster's tune with circled fingers placed upsidedown over eyes!!

Those were the days!!

[winkywanky]

...any repetition on school premises automatically resulted in 6 of the very best from our elderly, but still very stalwart, headmaster - another old custom lost forever.

Did he have a funny little moustache?

You know, they never did (demonstrably) find Hitler's body  .

[winkywanky]

I'm a couple of years younger than you WW but we still sang this version right up to the end of the 70's.

IIRC, the 3rd and 4th lines involved explaining how poor Adolf's missing jewel had been forcibly been removed by Mrs Hitler senior during his childhood days!

The singing was usually followed by a quick lap around the playground humming the Dambuster's tune with circled fingers placed upsidedown over eyes!!

Those were the days!!

You couldn't do that now!

[tesla]

Navy? You mean that second-hand cruiser we had sold to him?  Well, that was brave enough to come out, but didn`t last long when it did.
           

it was the Yanks that sold the USS Phoenix, one of the few ship to be undamaged at Pearl Harbour, renamed as the General Belgrano

[Lilywhite]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

That was the version we sang in the 90s. Not sure why it was being sung then, possibly we were learning about the war 

[winkywanky]

I don't know what scool you went to but I don't reckon it was taught you by teachers 

[Happylad]

I don't know what scool you went to but I don't reckon it was taught you by teachers 

Hopefully one that taught pupils how to spell "school"   

[winkywanky]

Sorry, I meant skool   

[Briddy]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

yep Sang when I was in school in the mid late 90's

[RedKettle]

I do not remember it from school but it was featured heavily in a film set in the second world war - I am not 100% sure but I seem to remember it was black and white and featured Danny La Rue!

Certainly a song that has been in "our culture" for decades post the war.

[winkywanky]

Oh, What a Lovely War?

[mr.bluesky]

it was the Yanks that sold the USS Phoenix, one of the few ship to be undamaged at Pearl Harbour, renamed as the General Belgrano

And who could ever forget The Sun's headline of "Gotcha" when it was torpedoed and sank .

[winkywanky]

Yes, what a wonderfully precise picture that gave of the quality of their journalism  .

[paper7]

Yes, what a wonderfully precise picture that gave of the quality of their journalism  .

The newspaper 'The Sun' and the word 'Quality' don't go together imho!

[Students Notebook]

We were singing it circa 1970?

Our version had:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
etc, etc.

The version my mother taught me was :-

Hitler has only got one ball
Göring has two but very small
Himmler has something similar
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at.

 

[JimmySW]

Since the plural is used, Hitler would have qualified, as would I and doubtless some others on here.

As my consultant  observed before my orchiectomy, you can fire equally well on one.

I am unfortunately in the 1 ball club, it never ceases to amaze me how few girls notice! Everything works as it should happily and it's been a good few years now.

[winkywanky]

Did you not get a prosthetic to replace the missing one?

I thought that was the usual thing to do now.

[Students Notebook]

I am unfortunately in the 1 ball club, it never ceases to amaze me how few girls notice! Everything works as it should happily and it's been a good few years now.

A JOKE. Not very funny.

Man with THREE balls goes into public loo.
Standing having a pee he is unable to resist turning to the man on his right and says.
" Do you know that between us we have 5 balls"
Unimpressed the other man looks at him and says "What, ...........you only got one then ?"

Schoolboy humour. Sorry.

[winkywanky]

6/10 

[Home Alone]

A JOKE. Not very funny.

Man with THREE balls goes into public loo.
Standing having a pee he is unable to resist turning to the man on his right and says.
" Do you know that between us we have 5 balls"
Unimpressed the other man looks at him and says "What, ...........you only got one then ?"

Schoolboy humour. Sorry.

Happy birthday to that joke, first broadcast in 19?? !!  

[Happylad]

Happy birthday to that joke, first broadcast in 19?? !!  

Certainly doing the rounds of the school lavatories in my youth

[Happylad]

Another oldie:-

There was once a man from Madras
Whose bollocks were made out of brass;
When he ran in hot weather
His balls clanged together
And lightening came out of his ass.

[JimmySW]

Did you not get a prosthetic to replace the missing one?

I thought that was the usual thing to do now.

I wasn't offered one - it was quite some time ago now and I'm not sure if they did them then?

[winkywanky]

A friend of mine developed testicular cancer at a young age (21 or so) and had to have one removed (he made a full recovery)

He was an avid cyclist and his surgeon recommended him to have a prosthetic because when you sit down on a saddle, the left one pops out left, the right one pops right. If you only have the one you're liable to sit right down on it - OUCH!

Obviously from a cosmetic/tactile point of view it's nicer too, although if you have very hairy bollocks it would barely notice  .

[WASA38]

A friend of mine developed testicular cancer at a young age (21 or so) and had to have one removed (he made a full recovery)

He was an avid cyclist and his surgeon recommended him to have a prosthetic because when you sit down on a saddle, the left one pops out left, the right one pops right. If you only have the one you're liable to sit right down on it - OUCH!

Obviously from a cosmetic/tactile point of view it's nicer too, although if you have very hairy bollocks it would barely notice  .

Mine was done over 40 years ago to reduce risk of a further hernia. The first time I learned of prosthetic possibility was today - here.

Like Jimmy I have never had an SP notice, or ,rather, comment. Maybe too polite to say anything. The scrote-in-mouth ones could scarcely fail to notice.And I never punt with hairy genitals !

I was a keen cyclist for the following 30 years and never managed to sit on the remaining one- thank gawd. Maybe because I wear Y-fronts.

[winkywanky]

Inguinal hernia? Blimey cutting off a testicle sounds a bit drastic? I wonder whether you'd receive the same treatment today?

Glad it all turned out well though.

[JimmySW]

A friend of mine developed testicular cancer at a young age (21 or so) and had to have one removed (he made a full recovery)

He was an avid cyclist and his surgeon recommended him to have a prosthetic because when you sit down on a saddle, the left one pops out left, the right one pops right. If you only have the one you're liable to sit right down on it - OUCH!

Obviously from a cosmetic/tactile point of view it's nicer too, although if you have very hairy bollocks it would barely notice  .

The surgeon was talking bollocks if you'll excuse the pun - never had a problem as the remaining ball hasn't moved!

[winkywanky]