Do women over think things?

[bhudda]

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[Dipper]

Quite enjoyed the story up
To the #metoo shite.

[Squire Haggard]

From the article,

Had he exploited me? Was I a victim of assault? My mind and body were saying yes all the way through, but I never consented verbally. What right did he think he had to touch me like this in a professional setting? Was I a bad feminist? I’m 100% pro-sex positivity and mutual enjoyment, and this experience didn’t seem to sit right with that. If he respected me as an equal, wouldn’t he have asked? Was I unintentionally “asking for it”? I was more than a little confused.

She's very easily confused. She's not sure about her new pair of shoes either. She's had a change of mind and is going to take them back to the shop. If God had meant women to think he would have given them brains.

[scutty brown]

FFS, what woman has a massage wearing bikini bottoms?
The oil would ruin them

[Jonestown]

"I’m 100% pro-sex positivity and mutual enjoyment"


so why didn't she reciprocate and give the fella a blow job, that's what they do in the movies.

[jeanphillipe]

FFS, what woman has a massage wearing bikini bottoms?
The oil would ruin them

she probably heard about what happens at these massage places, and told the story as if it happened to her just so she could post the spiel at the end

[Waterhouse]

Comes across as made up magazine space filler to me... probably needed to fill a gap before going to press.

That said though, overthinking is true for both women and men - really just depends on how the individual is wired.  I overthink stuff all the time and it doesn’t do me any good, so trying to learn to relax more now and seeing a quality SP certainly helps with that. 

[jackdaw]

“I enjoyed it immensely...and never said “no” at any point..but on other hand I never said “yes”...so now I am wondering if I was sexually assaulted” (Not an exact quote...but it captures “spirit” of the guff.)

Jeez..if we ever get true sexual equality I will be able to get all my ex-girlfriends locked up.

[winkywanky]

Quite enjoyed the story up
To the #metoo shite.

Yes, she was desperate for sexual release midway through the massage and made this very clear by thrusting up her hips when he inadvertently brushed her bikini bottoms (thus blatantly showing her willingess for more), and then allowed him to finger her to an orgasm with no hint whatsoever of any reluctance. She was happy for it to happen, she wanted it to happen. She gave him a big tip afterwards.

Only after the event when she started to rationalise events in her head, did she start to doubt herself.


Oh no, the guy does this to all the girls, I've been such a fool. He didn't do it because he fancied me, he got off on it himself and used me.

Not only that, the other (female) masseuse is in on it and knows what I did. I'm so embarrassed.

I never consented verbally, have I been assaulted? 



The fact that this woman was totally in control of events, yet even considers the possibility that the guy sexually assaulted her, says quite a bit about some women these days. She starts to feel bad about what happened and needs to blame the guy.

I know such cases can be very subtle and nuanced, but it can't be a million miles away from girl-meets-boy-in-nightclub, gets pissed, they go back to hers, they both willingly fuck, she feels bad about herself a couple of days later and then decides that actually, at no point did she say 'yes', therefore he must have raped her because she feels 'dirty' now.

One might even draw a parallel to the fact that the Cosmo woman tipped the masseur bigtime, with the post-fuck girl sending a text to her soon-to-be-accused rapist, telling him thanks for their nice evening out the previous night. Two days later she's down the nick in tears with a whole rape crisis team attending to her every whim, and the clueless boy gets arrested and charged with rape.

Lots of rape cases seem to be collapsing of late, with prosecution teams having withheld mobile texts from the defence team, which cast strong doubt on whether the girl was really raped, or merely decided a few days later that she didn't feel good about herself after what happened.

[winkywanky]

Comes across as made up magazine space filler to me... probably needed to fill a gap before going to press.

That said though, overthinking is true for both women and men - really just depends on how the individual is wired.  I overthink stuff all the time and it doesn’t do me any good, so trying to learn to relax more now and seeing a quality SP certainly helps with that.

I have to say, I think in regards to sexual activity between men and women who are ostensibly strangers, there are actually male and female stereotypes which either sex tend to broadly adhere to.

The 'logic' displayed by the Cosmo woman beggars belief, in that she would even consider that she'd been assaulted. But perhaps that's just because I'm a bloke?

[winkywanky]

“I enjoyed it immensely...and never said “no” at any point..but on other hand I never said “yes”...so now I am wondering if I was sexually assaulted” (Not an exact quote...but it captures “spirit” of the guff.)

Jeez..if we ever get true sexual equality I will be able to get all my ex-girlfriends locked up.

Yes, they used their womanly wiles to get exactly what they wanted, and you were the helpless victim! 

[scutty brown]

all she had to do is say "no"

[winkywanky]

I can see them doing a remake of Shirley Valentine, where the young Greek lothario gets put inside for life.

[Wett]

"I would argue that if you really respected them, you wouldn't allow them to pleasure you for money in countries where the sex trade is notoriously shady." As she was pleasured for money I guess we can assume that the Cuban sex trade is not shady or she didn't respect him and in fact exploited him.

After reading that article, I will give Cosmopolitan a miss.

[Plan R]

Yes they do over think things. and true or not, this tart's story has the familiar hallmarks.

Squirt to the ceiling on the night, then a cooling off period in which
she ruminates and talks to the coven until they are all agreed and...
Hey presto! The event is re-packaged as regret-rape™

Good grief 

[formulajuan1]

If some women have their way there will soon be no such thing as Spontaneous Sex. In a thread on UKE I recently noted a female asserting that before any form of sexual activity the Male should explain to the Female EXACTLY what he plans to do and obtain her consent to all the activities. When I were a lad the Fookin taking place in the back of the van I borrowed from my dad might get me arrested now, not that I had a single complaint at the time. Sometimes I fear for the Survival of our Species.

[Plan R]

If some women have their way there will soon be no such thing as Spontaneous Sex. In a thread on UKE I recently noted a female asserting that before any form of sexual activity the Male should explain to the Female EXACTLY what he plans to do and obtain her consent to all the activities.

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[LLPunting]

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[LLPunting]

Follow on reading:  External Link/Members Only

[Dipper]

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Fabulous nips, and thighs.

Immaculate body. 

[peter purves]

I found the article interesting to read.  Thanks!!

I read it is a conflation presumably White, probably middle class, feminist involved in sex tourism maybe with the masseur who would be classed as a person of colour, fulfilling a sexual fantasy where she is dominant but because of Metoo perspectives only after the event saw herself as the 'victim' probably to ease the cognitive dissonance.

Personally I am not sure if I totally believe the story as it is written 

[PatMacGroin]

Quite enjoyed the story up
To the #metoo shite.

Yep, realised the article was a load of made up page filling rubbish and stopped reading once I saw this bit:

(Paraphrased with minor redactions) "...says Dr Meg-John Barker, a sex therapist who writes on the psychology of sexual activity... “Your story also highlights important questions about power and consent,” they told me. “As the tourist in Cuba, you were in a position of power over the masseur, especially given he could have lost his job."

So the psychologist is saying she used her "position of power" to make him feel his job would be at risk if he didn't get her off? What was she going to do? Complain to the hotel management that the massage was crap, she didn't orgasm and so she wants a refund? WTF is this bollox? 

[PatMacGroin]

Yes, she was desperate for sexual release midway through the massage and made this very clear by thrusting up her hips when he inadvertently brushed her bikini bottoms (thus blatantly showing her willingess for more), and then allowed him to finger her to an orgasm with no hint whatsoever of any reluctance. She was happy for it to happen, she wanted it to happen. She gave him a big tip afterwards.

Only after the event when she started to rationalise events in her head, did she start to doubt herself.


Oh no, the guy does this to all the girls, I've been such a fool. He didn't do it because he fancied me, he got off on it himself and used me.

Not only that, the other (female) masseuse is in on it and knows what I did. I'm so embarrassed.

I never consented verbally, have I been assaulted? 



The fact that this woman was totally in control of events, yet even considers the possibility that the guy sexually assaulted her, says quite a bit about some women these days. She starts to feel bad about what happened and needs to blame the guy.

I know such cases can be very subtle and nuanced, but it can't be a million miles away from girl-meets-boy-in-nightclub, gets pissed, they go back to hers, they both willingly fuck, she feels bad about herself a couple of days later and then decides that actually, at no point did she say 'yes', therefore he must have raped her because she feels 'dirty' now.

One might even draw a parallel to the fact that the Cosmo woman tipped the masseur bigtime, with the post-fuck girl sending a text to her soon-to-be-accused rapist, telling him thanks for their nice evening out the previous night. Two days later she's down the nick in tears with a whole rape crisis team attending to her every whim, and the clueless boy gets arrested and charged with rape.

Lots of rape cases seem to be collapsing of late, with prosecution teams having withheld mobile texts from the defence team, which cast strong doubt on whether the girl was really raped, or merely decided a few days later that she didn't feel good about herself after what happened.

Well put.

[Shropslad2008]

Interesting reading, just before we all rush off and put adverts on gumtree. a male masseur local to me was convicted of sexual assault after intimately touching one of his female clients during a massage.

[LLPunting]

Interesting reading, just before we all rush off and put adverts on gumtree. a male masseur local to me was convicted of sexual assault after intimately touching one of his female clients during a massage.

How did she find this idiot?
Was he stupid enough to just jam his finger in her gusset or grab her boobs?
If he wasn't so blatant how was this proven as intentional?

[winkywanky]

He probably touched her fanny, she said: 'oi, tits first, do you think I'm a slag?' and then reported him to the police.

[Shropslad2008]

Here’s a link to the story.

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[christofferson]

" He moved my bikini to one side, spreading my legs apart with one hand. I was enthralled, and had no intention of stopping him. It was an almost out-of-body experience "
Makes you wonder what the quality of sex in her life was before some random Cuban starts flicking her bean in a " gauzy white tent " on a beach.
She then regrets it happened so blames it on him.
Good job they didn't do the sticky stuff, that said I doubt the local police force would be too bothered.
You can imagine how this story would get played out down the line with all her mates adding bits to it....and hey presto #metoo get more ammo.

[LLPunting]

He probably touched her fanny, she said: 'oi, tits first, do you think I'm a slag?' and then reported him to the police.

 
What is the reputation of women from Shrewsbury/Shropshire?  Would love to hear the lowdown from those in the know.

[LLPunting]

" He moved my bikini to one side, spreading my legs apart with one hand. I was enthralled, and had no intention of stopping him. It was an almost out-of-body experience "
Makes you wonder what the quality of sex in her life was before some random Cuban starts flicking her bean in a " gauzy white tent " on a beach.
She then regrets it happened so blames it on him.
Good job they didn't do the sticky stuff, that said I doubt the local police force would be too bothered.
You can imagine how this story would get played out down the line with all her mates adding bits to it....and hey presto #metoo get more ammo.

A 3rd rate EL James wannabe who refuses to be responsible for her own actions.  Was she married or in a committed relationship at the time?
Did she do any cultural research?  Prostitution is legal in Cuba and socially unremarkable though much less tolerated by the authorities for the sake of tourist impressions.

This was interesting:
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[LLPunting]

Here’s a link to the story.

External Link/Members Only

Thanks for the link.  Rather incomplete reporting because there's nothing in the report that actually describes motives and actions sufficiently to explain the judgement.  No other victims, no prior history, no denial that she removed her bra willingly.  And he got done for "touching" her boob?  I'm hoping the justice system was so much more thorough in securing this conviction.

[Payyourwaymate]

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Cognitive dissonance striking once again with women  .

[Shropslad2008]

Thanks for the link.  Rather incomplete reporting because there's nothing in the report that actually describes motives and actions sufficiently to explain the judgement.  No other victims, no prior history, no denial that she removed her bra willingly.  And he got done for "touching" her boob?  I'm hoping the justice system was so much more thorough in securing this conviction.

Yes, it's a strange story. Seemingly respected guy who wrote couple of books about massage and related themes ends up with his career over and an 18 month prison sentence.

[PatMacGroin]

Here’s a link to the story.

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Woah! Hold on a minute!

After 40 years working a masseuse, 1 woman says he "touched her intimately". They find his computer contains searches for "sexy massage", "nude massage", and "erotic massage". Search history which wouldn't be that surprising for any guy, and in many ways should be expected of someone that works in the industry. And apparently, based upon that evidence alone he is getting convicted from a he says/she says testimony?

Maybe the article is severely simplifying the case, but based upon that description alone I amazed this guy is about to be sentenced. Has the #MeToo movement also undermined the legal concept of reasonable doubt?

[Colston36]

Yep, realised the article was a load of made up page filling rubbish and stopped reading once I saw this bit:

(Paraphrased with minor redactions) "...says Dr Meg-John Barker, a sex therapist who writes on the psychology of sexual activity... “Your story also highlights important questions about power and consent,” they told me. “As the tourist in Cuba, you were in a position of power over the masseur, especially given he could have lost his job."

So the psychologist is saying she used her "position of power" to make him feel his job would be at risk if he didn't get her off? What was she going to do? Complain to the hotel management that the massage was crap, she didn't orgasm and so she wants a refund? WTF is this bollox? 

"Dr Meg-John Barker, a sex therapist who writes on the psychology of sexual activity." The name and so called profession scream out FAKE at 3,000 decibels.

I try to see a "sex-therapist" - or whore, as they are called - two or three times a week.

[Colston36]

What is the reputation of women from Shrewsbury/Shropshire?  Would love to hear the lowdown from those in the know.

Glad you asked. There is a thread on here in which frustrated punters moan about the lamentable lack of decent cunt around Shrewsbury.

[PatMacGroin]

"Dr Meg-John Barker, a sex therapist who writes on the psychology of sexual activity." The name and so called profession scream out FAKE at 3,000 decibels.

I try to see a "sex-therapist" - or whore, as they are called - two or three times a week.

I didn't really pay attention to the name. Seeing your quote made me realise what sort of name is that?

Quick google search reveals why you should ignore the opinions of someone that is so confused about gender and sexuality they can't even make a strong enough recognition of own their identity to settle on one first name. Resulting in the only double barrelled bi-gender first name I've ever seen. Very clever for positioning yourself in this new gender fluid market. But in reality what name do the friends use? Meg or John?

[bhudda]

I didn't really pay attention to the name. Seeing your quote made me realise what sort of name is that?

Quick google search reveals why you should ignore the opinions of someone that is so confused about gender and sexuality they can't even make a strong enough recognition of own their identity to settle on one first name. Resulting in the only double barrelled bi-gender first name I've ever seen. Very clever for positioning yourself in this new gender fluid market. But in reality what name do the friends use? Meg or John?

Friends?

[PatMacGroin]

Friends?

Ah, yes. I see the flaw in my argument.