But try a situation that seems similar... but with a few "subtle" differences.
Imagine that you've not "got a few other issues", that apart from sex the overall partnership works really well. Imagine you've got a couple of young kids that you love dearly.
Would you still have left wife? Or would you have gone without really pleasurable sex for 10 or 15 years?
You might have done... but if you're really confident of what you'd do in that situation without living through it, then I believe you're over-confident.
You have a very, very specific definition of the term "happy marriage"... it includes, for example, absolute trust. Others believe if both the man and woman are happy in the partnership that is a happy marriage. For me, those "others" are more sensible and pragmatic.
In that situation who knows, I might well make the same choice many here make and maybe it is the "best choice" pragmatically in a fucked up world. But it's not the only choice so I'd
hope to make a better one.
If everything is perfect except the sex surely trying to fix that one little thing is worth doing as you are obviously so close to a perfect marriage? Plenty of sex therapists out there to help and if it doesn't help it might at least help her realise how important sex is to you, and bring her round to a point where she might even - reluctantly - give her permission to your escorting.
If not, what have you lost? You've tried everything and if the alternative is splitting you can do so with your head held high.
I have a friend for example who had kids, separated amicably both have found new partners they are happier with thanks to the benefit of maturity/experience - and all remain friends. His ex babysits their new kid. He still has a great relationship with his kids from the first marriage who respect him and still see him as their dad.
Surely viewed pragmatically that is a better choice than decades of deception?
Some members on here have admitted to enjoying the deception and being selfish which as I said is perfectly fine - I fully respect everyone's right to make their own choices and accept the consequences.
Just dont kid yourself it's the only choice if you haven't seriously considered the alternatives.
We all make mistakes, better to learn from them and move on than live with them and make more mistakes along the way. IMO.
Not going to venture back in here again. Said my piece and really dont want to put everyone's nose out of joint - I respect and value this site and the vast majority of it's members and we're all entitled to our opinions so live and let live.
