Does seeing escorts prevent you from bothering with dating normally?

[gurds]

Is an interesting question, in my case I started seeing escorts from early age of 18 out of curiosity and it became a habit. Now I'm 32.

Have slept with large numbers of hot escorts over the yrs and never bothered with dating or relationships at all. I am above average looking, 6 foot tall and very muscular , above average penis size and girth, etc

I am thinking that seeing escorts from an early age can become a habit which it has with me. I do believe that for some people like me it can prevent you from even attempting dating normally. You have unlimited choice of hot escorts that you can pick out, it is very efficient and doesn't waste time . I've always had a weakness for young sexy girls from an early age

When you venture down this road, for lot of men it will make you less likely to date as you will see dating as a waste of time in terms of time and energy expended.

There are some men that are in relationships and see escorts at the same time. To be honest , I can see myself in that camp as well if I got into a relationship. I've always had a weakness for sexy girls from an early age

One thing that I can never understand, let's say you see a couple that have been together since the age of 18 for 13 years. I am thinking to myself subconsciously that the guy have missed out on sexual experiences with lots of different girls (providing he has stayed faithful through this period).

I also don't have any interest in having kids , I am quite narcissistic.

Was wondering what other men's thoughts are - how has seeing escorts for a long time altered your views towards dating and relationships and effort in that endeavour if you put forth any effort there at all?

[Crockers]

Depends on your emotional intelligence.

Can you get a girlfriend without paying if you wanted to?

[jkandjol]

Good post OP. At least for me/in my opinion.

I have a similar punting story/background to you, looks etc..just a few years between us.

I have dated but no where near as much as I should have/most people like me have. I have dated/transitioned to personal life with a handful of WGs also. Frankly could have been more if I "liked" a few more who seemingly liked me. So in that regard the lines get blurred sometimes also.

I do think punting is..or at least can be (especially for younger men).. unhealthy and a habit as you call it.

Difference between you and I is I do want a family one day and also I wouldn't want to be a guy cheating on the Mrs, whether that be civvy or with escorts.

You're spot on about guys missing out on sexual experiences. I have a few friends in that boat (one was with the same bird from we were at school til late 20s..and they're now separated..crazy!). But in that regard I hope for me it's all "I've had my fun" and I'll be able to settle down.

Time will tell.


In answer to your Q I do think one can get complacent and not want to graft in personal life as often can "buy" sex with a better looking bird. However the way I've started to think of it, is some of these civvy birds have had sex with the same amount of men in their lifetime as some of my favourite WGs probably have had this week already.
I think when you look at things that way from afar, you see the difference in (the overwhelming majority of) civvy women vs WG.
Maybe my dating WGs helped me with this.


This are just my opinions. I could be wrong. Hope no one jumps down my throat or deems anything I said too controversial. Not interested in any online barneys.

Oh another thing you didn't touch on is the sexual acts. We can just go on adultwork and look for a woman who is up for certain things such as rimming.
When dating it could take you months to even find out if the lady is up for certain sexual acts.

[gurds]

Depends on your emotional intelligence.

Can you get a girlfriend without paying if you wanted to?

Yes but I also have very high standards, very narcissistic. So I don't think anyone woman would be good enough.

I already slept with the hottest girl in the world pretty much a few yrs ago, was a Spanish escort from Barcelona.

[SonofAJohn]

Depends on your emotional intelligence.

Can you get a girlfriend without paying if you wanted to?

I think generally most guys who have an income, abled body and can talk could get a girlfriend. You do pay some way or another having sex with women. Sex with women is never free from the PTSD, sexual health scares, divorce, child maintenance payments, dates, bills etc

I think OP, makes an interesting point as men today are not going to be traditional like their fathers. (Wife, Kids and home) Lot's of women are not traditional either and dating is a traditional concept.
A new way of life is created with technology and we are going through that.
1 Good women is no longer worth 1000 b***** as mentioned in that kanye west song.

[speedygonzal]

I think it's more about your personality than the fact that you started early in the game. My first encounter with an escort i was 18 years old and over the next 2 years I met a dozen until I discovered free sex with girls at parties, bars, etc.

After that I have been in long term relationships with no escorts seen and suddenly 2 years ago I started looking for escorts again (now looking back maybe it's some kind of midlife crisis  )

That being said, we are all different. Looking quickly at your reviews I don't see you very interested in DFK or GFE (maybe I'm wrong) but it seems like you are nit  looking for  intimacy with usually long term relationships offer you (even some regulars SW)

[jamiekinkxxx]

Yes but *I also have very high standards, very narcissistic. So I don't think anyone woman would be good enough.

**I already slept with the hottest girl in the world pretty much a few yrs ago, was a Spanish escort from Barcelona.

*Maybe, just maybe you may not be good enough for the one that you end up wanting?! Just a thought to counter your very narcissistic attitude 

**This cannot be correct as I slept with the hottest girl in the world a few years ago and she was a French escort living in NYC. Sorry I couldn't help it.... You made a pretty big (and undoubtably very subjective) statement! 

[Doc Holliday]

If you see the function of your relationships with women as being purely sexual in nature, then by all means continue down the road you have chosen. That's fine.

However there is potentially so much happiness (and sorrow) during your stay on this earth that you will miss out on including the best sex. On that note even ugly people can have great sex.

[ronthebrummie]

I'm 73. fit, able bodied, IMO reasonably good looking been through an very expensive divorce and a later split from a now ex, I'm very happy to pay out for any services I need, plus I have a six week break in Feb/March in Thailand which more than does me.

Remember the old saying: If it floats, flies or fucks its way cheaper to rent than own

[Doc Holliday]

This are just my opinions. I could be wrong. Hope no one jumps down my throat or deems anything I said too controversial. Not interested in any online barneys.

Not at all it is a well constructed and balanced post ... although it may not stop people jumping on you 

[pbrown355]

I also have to argue about the hottest girl in the world because I slept with her, and you guys haven't met her!
More seriously, it's a good post and although my life up to now has been pretty conventional, if I was single now I would never look for another civvie relationship, I'd just punt. Not sure about my own narcissism I just wouldn't want those restrictions on my life.
It is a very valid comment, however, about the joys and sadnesses of having relationships, particularly family ones. There's more to life and relationships than sexual experiences.

[jamiekinkxxx]

When dating it could take you months to even find out if the lady is up for certain sexual acts.

It can and does and in many cases in my past I have taken ages to open up about my kinks... can lead to a great deal of wasted time and effort when they say ' WTF, no way!"

I think guys and gals should be more open and honest from a much earlier in the 'dating' game to ensure sexually they are both aligned.

[jamiekinkxxx]

If you see the function of your relationships with women as being purely sexual in nature, then by all means continue down the road you have chosen. That's fine.

However there is potentially so much happiness (and sorrow) during your stay on this earth that you will miss out on including the best sex. On that note even ugly people can have great sex.

+1

[jkandjol]

It can and does and in many cases in my past I have taken ages to open up about my kinks...

Oh yeah great point there too. I feel more comfortable? Unembarrassed? Doing kinks with (some?) escorts. Now the "some" is the interesting part. As I wind back, I don't think I would have been comfortable doing them from the off with escorts I "liked", dated/transitioned to personal life. So again shows how it is quite a maze in terms of how the brain thinks! Mine anyway


Lol this should be called the free therapy/mindmapping thread 

[Munter84]

has seeing escorts for a long time altered your views towards dating and relationships and effort in that endeavour if you put forth any effort there at all?

Yes and no.

Escorts obviously can't provide some things a longterm relationship can, such as sharing a home, having kids, consistent companionship etc. For those reasons I'm glad I have had longterm civvy relationships.

However there have been periods in my life where I just wanted to have fun and play the field, and even living in London I was pretty disappointed by how meagre the dating scene is and how few ladies I met shared my desire to have fun in the moment and go with the flow. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong places, and anyway dating as a man in your 30s/40s is well documented and I don't want to derail this topic with that can of worms! In times like this I found myself binning off the dating apps and cocktail dates and taking the "fast food" option - escorts. Guaranteed sex, plus some of them were considerably more pleasant and witty in conversation than my civvy dates.

[JAYZ]

After being in what became a sexless relationship, I was tempted into this world and although nothing can beat being in a committed relationship with a woman you love, once I started seeing much younger beautiful women it's tough to give up. Having said that it has been a year since my last punt so I could stop, but reading this forum makes me realise what I'm missing.
 

[hendrix]

It's a good thread imo.

I'm extremely average/under average in every regard physically. I certainly couldn't date nowadays, as that would require some social interaction that I'm simply not interested in or any good at, and I never really enjoyed it when I was younger either. If there isn't a clear price and boundary to a relationship, then it's not for me.

[Fuzzyduck]

Depends on your emotional intelligence.

Can you get a girlfriend without paying if you wanted to?

Nail on the head.

[KatieEdinburgh]

As I wind back, I don't think I would have been comfortable doing them from the off with escorts I "liked", dated/transitioned to personal life. So again shows how it is quite a maze in terms of how the brain thinks! Mine anyway

The Madonna/Whore complex. The kinkiest & dirtiest fantasies men have they may want to play out with hookers. but the mother of their kids they don’t want to be into such activities (not wanting to settle down with ‘sluts’) a.k.a. You can’t turn a ho into a housewife*

*which isn’t true by the way you certainly can :’)

[RedKettle]

In my case it is the wife that prevents me bothering with dating.

[Cheshuk]

good post, everything including the age is me. only difference until the first lockdown I was pretty active in civvie dating going on dates 1/2 times a week but still seeing escorts (just less so), think it was an ego thing back then. Then discovered seeking, after covid its been seeking and punting exclusively

I don't care about the meaningful life script of family and kids, maybe that'll change but love my freedom and usually have an active arrangement or two from seeking. I like all women, young hotties and milfs, attraction is like 90% about looks for me so no relationship/women can satisfy that. The last thing I feel I want right now is a girlfriend, even an open-relationship, I lose interest really fast, and dating seems absolutely pointless to me these days if I want sex and not a relationship, I don't get any feel good boost  from banging civvies like I used to when I was in my teens/20s. I prefer fucking someone then getting to know them

[SonofAJohn]

The Madonna/Whore complex. The kinkiest & dirtiest fantasies men have they may want to play out with hookers. but the mother of their kids they don’t want to be into such activities (not wanting to settle down with ‘sluts’) a.k.a. You can’t turn a ho into a housewife*

*which isn’t true by the way you certainly can :’)

How do you turn her a hoe into a housewife?

[KatieEdinburgh]

How do you turn her a hoe into a housewife?

Normally you have to ask her, not me 🤣

[SonofAJohn]

Normally you have to ask her, not me 🤣

A hoe has fantasies about being a housewife and romanticises the idea of it but the reality will shock her.

[daviemac]

A hoe has fantasies about being a housewife and romanticises the idea of it but the reality will shock her.

Can you provide any reliable documented evidence of this? or are you just making it up as you go along. 

[SonofAJohn]

Can you provide any reliable documented evidence of this? or are you just making it up as you go along. 

How could I provide reliable documented evidence for something which is anecdotal and opinion based?
You could look at Kim kardashians failed marriages but these are just opinions from speaking with women who do sex work which disrupted their personal relationships.

[Hardman123]

Keep paying for pussy, hope you have the £££ to maintain it. If you don’t think you will, get some counselling because narcism is nasty

[daviemac]

How could I provide reliable documented evidence for something which is anecdotal and opinion based?
You could look at Kim kardashians failed marriages but these are just opinions from speaking with women who do sex work which disrupted their personal relationships.

You posted it as fact, not as your opinion. 

[SonofAJohn]

You posted it as fact, not as your opinion. 

I understand your viewpoint, but I don't see what I said as a fact just my own individual thoughts

[lewisjones23]

Punting has removed all my tolerance for dealing with any bullshit off civvies.

As soon as they try any they are gone

[jkandjol]

The Madonna/Whore complex. The kinkiest & dirtiest fantasies men have they may want to play out with hookers. but the mother of their kids they don’t want to be into such activities (not wanting to settle down with ‘sluts’) a.k.a. You can’t turn a ho into a housewife*

*which isn’t true by the way you certainly can :’)

Never heard of Madonna complex but will look into it and can already imagine what it alludes to. Think the part I relate to there 100% is the (future) mother of my children doing X y z. That definitely has something to do with it. Thanks for helping me figure it out in such clear terms

[willie loman]

Punting has removed all my tolerance for dealing with any bullshit off civvies.

As soon as they try any they are gone

i can see your point, there are a minority of women who weaponise sex, and make a boy beg, in my opinion any healthy male, could date and see hookers.

[lewisjones23]

i can see your point, there are a minority of women who weaponise sex, and make a boy beg, in my opinion any healthy male, could date and see hookers.

agree on all counts

by bullshit I don't just mean sex etc. I mean general moaning or acting dramatic/emotional

got no time for it or need to be around it

[southern punter]

It does prevent me from even trying although not for a reason I've seen mentioned yet.  If I got asked about my sexual history by a civvie date, I cannot imagine "I've spent the last 5 years ploughing through dozens of escorts half my age" going down very well.  Neither can I imagine a serious romantic relationship built entirely on lies or lies of ommission.  I feel like I've made my bed and now I have to sleep in it.  Or, rather, fuck in it and then leave.

[luv2kiss54]

Once you go down the path of seeing escorts your view of civvie relationships changes forever. Never really bothered with them after i started to punt just didnt see the point.

The OP started very early at this game at age 18 which is sad in a way as at that age should have had pussy on tap especially as it would appear he is god's gift if you go by his description of himself. I started much later after several failed relationships so at least i had something to compare.

[willie loman]

It does prevent me from even trying although not for a reason I've seen mentioned yet.  If I got asked about my sexual history by a civvie date, I cannot imagine "I've spent the last 5 years ploughing through dozens of escorts half my age" going down very well.  Neither can I imagine a serious romantic relationship built entirely on lies or lies of ommission.  I feel like I've made my bed and now I have to sleep in it.  Or, rather, fuck in it and then leave.

i dont imagine many women would be bothered about your history of seeing hookers, women are way more pragmatic and realistic about sex than most men grasp, as many a girl has said to me about some episode in their lives, its only sex, its not that important, just as well for us, as otherwise there wouldnt be that many hookers around.

[SonofAJohn]

Once you go down the path of seeing escorts your view of civvie relationships changes forever. Never really bothered with them after i started to punt just didnt see the point.

The OP started very early at this game at age 18 which is sad in a way as at that age should have had pussy on tap especially as it would appear he is god's gift if you go by his description of himself. I started much later after several failed relationships so at least i had something to compare.

Yeah I started only this year but I have slept with 100s of civ women which I actually regret. I wish I started this at 18 like OP. Would of saved me a lot of drama. Plus I have seen civ women in the past who have told me they were escorts after we finished bareback sex which is a bit shit..

[MLawro93]

I guess OP gives himself away, as I find the thread a tad self-indulgent. You list all the things that you consider desirable in yourself, tall, muscular, penis size, etc. At least you are honest enough to state you are narcissistic. 

If you want a relationship and have emotional intelligence, you might find yourself in a fulfilling long-term relationship. It isn't just about sex. People want and do things for various different reasons, as long as they aren't self-destructive reasons, then there is no harm in it.

[speedygonzal]

An escort gave me a short-term fantasy which is great, but let's be clear in the back of my head I always know it's not the real deal. Having sex without paying  at least gave me a bit more hope that the sex is real (not just your money) maybe thie relationship will change down the road, but at least the first night is genuine (at least much more genuine than paying a WG)

When someone says he's above average and can have any girl makes me laugh. Anyone who has been around a lady knows that 90% of the game is not about how beautiful you are, but rather how well presented, confident, interesting, etc you are.

[southern punter]

i dont imagine many women would be bothered about your history of seeing hookers, women are way more pragmatic and realistic about sex than most men grasp, as many a girl has said to me about some episode in their lives, its only sex, its not that important, just as well for us, as otherwise there wouldnt be that many hookers around.

Interesting. I can imagine getting a pass on "once or twice on a stag do" but assumed my situation would be well past that point.  Perhaps you are right.  Anyway that is not the sole factor, remove that from the equation and I still wouldn't be dating for similar reasons as some other posters have mentioned.

[Lou2019]

When someone says he's above average and can have any girl makes me laugh. Anyone who has been around a lady knows that 90% of the game is not about how beautiful you are, but rather how well presented, confident, interesting, etc you are.

 

When someone self proclaims they are above average looking they usually aren’t 

[gurds]

When someone self proclaims they are above average looking they usually aren’t 

speak for yourself, apparently you are overweight!

[Lou2019]

speak for yourself, apparently you are overweight!

And your point?

[yesbby]

Never heard of Madonna complex but will look into it and can already imagine what it alludes to.

The ‘Like a Prayer’ video has had a lasting impact on many men

[Puntingutils]

When someone self proclaims they are above average looking they usually aren’t 

Can you provide any reliable documented evidence of this? or are you just making it up as you go along. 

[Lou2019]

Can you provide any reliable documented evidence of this? or are you just making it up as you go along. 

It’s a well known trait of narcissists to have an over inflated opinion of themselves.

Do you need links? or is that good enough for you?

[daviemac]

Can you provide any reliable documented evidence of this? or are you just making it up as you go along. 

Can you not think of a comment of your own instead of copying and pasting another one on the thread?   

However to answer your question. -  External Link/Members Only

[Bonker]

I
...On that note even ugly people can have great sex.

Please can you tell me where and for how much?

[theeaglekid]

I will answer this from a slightly different lens.

I personally know very well, the type of body I desire sexually, I will never get from a civvie (I do not have that game and cba to even explore this). Having said that, I cannot continue this hobby indefintely, given the type of body + service I like comes at a high cost (PSE + PAWG [+MILF]). I still also get a sense of guilt from doing this hobby, given my backgroud.

Furthemore, I do eventually want to actually settle down a bit and lead a "boring life" - but I need to unlearn all these kinks I got (not sure how), because I know civvies just do not have that.
Also, I am not exactly the best looking lad on the pitch, and well below average (which has caused issues on some punts). 
I also, do not want to cheat on my potential future partner, as I know if a family unit is established, it will break it (if found out), and the consequences are never great for anyone who goes down that route. 

[wristjob]

I've just come out of what you might call a fling after years without and just punting. I did find it a bit hard to adapt and the grass is always greener - on both sides.

The sex in a relationship is different but you don't always get it how you want, the options you were used to when punting. I also find it hard to take a drop in appearance/age so a lot of women so most women "in my league" don't appeal to me. One thing you may have started to notice but will definitely over the next few years is all your mates get relationshipped up and when you are single it's sometimes hard to find another single mate to do stuff with, and a relationship helps there.

Another thing I noticed was I just never really felt that motivated to make it work. Maybe part of that is me but part is the feeling I could easily get the kind of sex I want elsewhere if I wasn't constrained by a relationship. I also found it a lot of effort in terms of emotion and time. Not so much the dating side of things, I enjoy that, but the being in somebody else's life, you can't just shag and walk away which is what I'm used to.

I also don't see escorts while in a relationship, that's a personal choice, but I think if I did it might have worked better form my side. I just don't think it's a decent way to treat somebody you care about but at the same time it sort of makes you resent them.