Best excuse to dive out for a punt?

[globewindsailor]

Removed

[David1970]

You’re feeling the horn and the punt you’ve been hoping comes off has a cancellation and if you step out for a couple of hours you’re having a great time.

What’s your excuse to get out without grief?

I don’t have a specific go to excuse, but I’m partial to call out, mates house or out shooting.

I live alone, so don’t need an excuse, don’t get grief

[Bonker]

....and if you come home with a fishy smell, you've got the perfect excuse.

Sorry ladies that was a bit below the belt.

A double joke. Well done mate 

[Bonker]

For me, rather than me looking for an excuse to get out for a punt. I make sure my OH has got something to keep her busy so when I want to go out she doesn’t notice too much.
A lot OHs only notice you are MIA because they aren’t busy themselves. My advice is bored wives are way too interested in where you are and what you might be up to.
Other members have said on previous threads have a reasonable or believable excuse for being where you are.

Happy to keep her busy... if you could post a link please?

[Murray Mint]

I have a 'virtual' ex-colleague (I'm long retired) who sends me an email a few days in advance when he fancies meeting up for a lunchtime drink. I'm more than happy to oblige.

[DW93]

Going fishing as conditions are perfect.

Or I've bought something off ebay that I need to collect locally. I make it sound boring like a wheel barrow or drill. No interest in seeing that stuff.

[Maak]

Gym

Pack your gym bag & shower after like you had a gruesome  workout

[akauya]

Gentle reminder guys. Mumsnetters (and others) can read threads on this forum you know?

[RandomGuy99]

Going fishing as conditions are perfect.

Or I've bought something off ebay that I need to collect locally. I make it sound boring like a wheel barrow or drill. No interest in seeing that stuff.

Do they not ask where the 15 wheelbarrows are?

[Trpy]

Do they not ask where the 15 wheelbarrows are?

 

[DW93]

Do they not ask where the 15 wheelbarrows are?

Ha ha. They all break regularly. 

To be fair I do buy stuff off eBay to collect sometimes and build in a punt. So it's not always a lie.

[tigerbiker]

My tyre is losing air - need to find a tyre place that will advise/fix

My steering has gone stiff - need to go and sort it out

Going to look at a set of golf clubs that a mate of a mate is selling on that council estate on the edge of town

Someone from work wants me to look at a car he wants to buy - its on that council estate where that guy was selling the dodgy golf clubs

[notnamingnamesbut]

Say your back’s been hurting and you need to get a massage. It’s not entirely inaccurate, and it’s something she can’t tag along on. Plus it takes up an hour, covers for missing cash, and if you’ve got any lingering scent you can claims it’s the lotion or oil.

[thimble29]

Happy to keep her busy... if you could post a link please?

Make sure you leave a review 

Joking aside, the real idea is not to have a magical excuse but to have a believable hobby. Whether that's gym, tiddlywinks, collecting Yu-Gi-Oh cards, metal detecting or ghost hunting. If you cultivate a lifestyle that allows you to go out once in a while then nipping out isn't a big deal.
Even if the Mrs actually checks you can always say you sacked it off to go to the pub or a different mates. The trouble is if you say you're going to the local and she checks and you're not there.

[JontyR]

Doesn't hurt to have a few activities that you can refere to, heck you can even do them if you want. Snooker Tuesdays, five a side Wednesday etc.

[Thephoenix]

Say your back’s been hurting and you need to get a massage. It’s not entirely inaccurate, and it’s something she can’t tag along on. Plus it takes up an hour, covers for missing cash, and if you’ve got any lingering scent you can claims it’s the lotion or oil.

With me that's not an excuse it's a reality.

[mr.bluesky]

Join the Jehovah Witnesess and tell your loved ones that in future you're going to have to spend a considerable amount of time hanging around on street corners, knocking on doors, and saving fallen women.

So next time a holy Joe comes knocking on your door he could be a punter out on a punt but  at the wrong address
 

[Trpy]

So next time a holy Joe comes knocking on your door he could be a punter out on a punt but  at the wrong address
 

He might have the right address.  Mrs notnamingnamesbut could be on the game 

[timsussex]

So next time a holy Joe comes knocking on your door he could be a punter out on a punt but  at the wrong address
 

There used to be a terraced house in the sidestreets of Brighton with a hand written note in the window next to the front door
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN ON THE INTERNET THIS HOUSE IS NOT A BROTHEL

Always used to wonder if I had missed out because AFAIK there had never been an SP in that street

[Trpy]

There used to be a terraced house in the sidestreets of Brighton with a hand written note in the window next to the front door
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN ON THE INTERNET THIS HOUSE IS NOT A BROTHEL

Always used to wonder if I had missed out because AFAIK there had never been an SP in that street

Reverse psychology   

[Bonkers_2021]

Return some videotapes...

Patrick Bateman style

[wirehair]

"I'm just going to get a Chinese massage as there's some stiffness they will be able to relieve" 

[JAYZ]

I've got a meeting in London and this is not actually a lie.

[Dylanbob]

For me normally it's pay day lol