Punting Funds - how to keep them from prying eyes

[carefree]

I keep mine in my wallet, she never looks in it and if she did I'll just say im saving for a rainy day, easy.

Jesus, some of your wives make mine look like Mary Poppins

[anton11]

Never had this problem as all my married life we have had are own separate bank accounts as we had when we first met, mine being the account I have had since leaving school and to be quite honest until this thread I thought everyone was the same.

[Nickp]

Easy fix: close any joint bank accounts.

I've ever had any shared accounts with the wife and never will. Fuck that.

My £ is my £ and her £ is her £. All domestic expenses are split evenly at the end of each month.

What does your wife do for a living? By accounts you're living the life of a premier league striker/city banker, the driver, unsocial hours you punt. I'd never get away with it

[carefree]

What does your wife do for a living? By accounts you're living the life of a premier league striker/city banker, the driver, unsocial hours you punt. I'd never get away with it

Hey don't disrespect the Westmeister, he is a very wealthy man and us mere peasants should kneel at his stinking rich feet.

I have a date tonight with Kathrine Jenkins and Pippa Middleton.  I have, honest

[Nickp]

I smell BS, Pippa and Katie Holmes confirmed my overnight.

[carefree]

Shit, you found me out

[kenw1]

That is one problem I do not have as I do not have a partner.

[dino1990]

through my business I get a couple of customers who pay cash in hand with no receipts. Keep a little for myself when I fancy a punt. I've never had to go to a cash machine for punt money. Only problem is I have to be very disciplined and put money in the bank when I don't want to punt otherwise it gets too tempting. 

[GFRadar12]

Love that I don't have this issue but this thread has been entertaining to read, good luck lads!   

[what-a man]

Wifey wants us to get a joint bank account, for me that is tantamount to a death sentence and I am resisting it as if my life depends on it. Dont know what is wrong with these women.

[west8]

What does your wife do for a living?

A lot more than I do!

The unsocial punting is easy as the wife usually travels for 5-6 months each year. I'm always home alone during the school holidays (all of them), and for 3/4 months every Summer.

Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder!

[blackpunter]

My wife thinks I earn 200 pounds less than I actually do. Thanks to online payslips I don't have to intercept the mail to avoid being rumbled. So as soon as I get paid I withdraw 200 pounds and put it in my car's first aid bag(where my punting phone also lives) ready for my two punts for the month. Then i transfer all the rest of the money to the joint account so she can manage all the bills. At the moment though I am having a bit of a problem as missus wants payslips so she can apply for tax credits. I have been putting it off for months and I don't know how much longer I can hold her off.

[Trevor12]

my car's first aid bag(where my punting phone also lives)

I'm single, so don't need to hide my withdrawals or stash, but this sounds like the pefect hiding spot. If ever found, the cash and phone are part of your 'in case of emegency' kit.

[west8]

My wife thinks I earn 200 pounds less than I actually do. Thanks to online payslips I don't have to intercept the mail to avoid being rumbled. So as soon as I get paid I withdraw 200 pounds and put it in my car's first aid bag(where my punting phone also lives) ready for my two punts for the month. Then i transfer all the rest of the money to the joint account so she can manage all the bills. At the moment though I am having a bit of a problem as missus wants payslips so she can apply for tax credits. I have been putting it off for months and I don't know how much longer I can hold her off.

Wow, sounds like you're fucked. 

[The Architect]

As a single man, this kind of thread is a real eye-opener.

The concept of ever having to justify £10 or £20 or my own spending to another person is just out of this world to me.

I guess you guys must have got married young and not be used to any other way of life. To me it is just unthinkable. If I ever contemplate getting married I shall revisit this thread

+1

You and me both, mate. Jesus Christ, and people wonder why men are scared of commitment. The thought of being trapped in a situation like this just terrifies me. What an unthinkable nightmare some of you must have to endure.

[RedKettle]

But what you are missing are all the advantages of being married, which are.....

Perhaps better not tell you, would not want to make you all so envious! 

[cueball]

But what you are missing are all the advantages of being married, which are.....

Somebody to put things in the shopping trolley
Washer upper
Washing machine operator
Hoover driver
Somebody to constantly remind you of all your faults

Err, can't think of any more advantages.......

Jealous yet lads?

[RedKettle]

Somebody to put things in the shopping trolley
Washer upper
Washing machine operator
Hoover driver
Somebody to constantly remind you of all your faults

mine only does the last of those!

[DG]

But what you are missing are all the advantages of being married, which are.....

Perhaps better not tell you, would not want to make you all so envious! 

You have forgotten the most important matrimonial benefit; free shagging!! On no, I forgot, that stopped about 15 years ago. Why did it take me so long to start punting?

[cueball]

mine only does the last of those!

Ha ha
Forgot another, somebody to inherit the house.

Fuckin hell, when I think about it is not worth all the bloody bother, I'm gonna leave my punting phone on the fireplace and the computer on aw, screen saver picture will be debby deep throat and fuck the consequences, oh and tell her I need 100 quid out of the house keeping for this week's punt.

[KidCandyShop]

Inherit the house. You've got that wrong, she  gets that whenever she decides its time to leave you.

[west8]

Inherit the house. You've got that wrong, she  gets that whenever she decides its time to leave you.

Not if an Offshore IBC is the sole owner of the house, she doesn't. 

[KidCandyShop]

Not if an Offshore IBC is the sole owner of the house, she doesn't. 

Have you also ring fenced your other valuables, so no one can give you a kick in the bollocks. 

[Boundless]

You have forgotten the most important matrimonial benefit; free shagging!! On no, I forgot, that stopped about 15 years ago. Why did it take me so long to start punting?

 

[Boundless]

Somebody to put things in the shopping trolley
Washer upper
Washing machine operator
Hoover driver
Somebody to constantly remind you of all your faults

Err, can't think of any more advantages.......

Jealous yet lads?

If a man in a forest alone says something and there isn't a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

[CoolTiger]

I know of some members who have stashed the extra cash in secret bank accounts, or topped up into PAYG Credit Cards, or have left the cash hidden in the car or at work, so that it is out of sight on any preying eyes.


One member keeps it in a sealed envelope and gives it to the Accounts Dept at work for safe-keeping in their petty cash tin / work safe.

[CoolTiger]

Almost forgot this little gem....

Buy something expensive you can make out you need but she'll never use or see like car parts, tools, DIY stuff for example. Use your joint account or better still, her account to pay.

Next day go back for a refund stating it wasn't needed for the job and get either a cash refund or use your own account to receive the money into. Effectively she ends up paying for your punt 

A lot of places like Argos, etc will only give you the refund using the same payment method that you originally paid for it, so not always easy to convert card payments into cash.

[CoolTiger]

My wife thinks I earn 200 pounds less than I actually do. Thanks to online payslips I don't have to intercept the mail to avoid being rumbled. So as soon as I get paid I withdraw 200 pounds and put it in my car's first aid bag(where my punting phone also lives) ready for my two punts for the month. Then i transfer all the rest of the money to the joint account so she can manage all the bills. At the moment though I am having a bit of a problem as missus wants payslips so she can apply for tax credits. I have been putting it off for months and I don't know how much longer I can hold her off.

Surprise the wife and ring the Tax Credit people directly and give them your earnings figure, hoping that she does not notice the difference in your declared earnings when compared to what you've paying into the joint account.

[richie]

A lot of places like Argos, etc will only give you the refund using the same payment method that you originally paid for it, so not always easy to convert card payments into cash.

Normally it's the same method but very rarely do they ask for the same card. Switch out of the joint account, refund into your own account. B&Q, halfords, Gsf etc all happy to do it this way round just remember it needs to be a purchase she will never need to see again once bought.

[Boundless]

Surprise the wife and ring the Tax Credit people directly and give them your earnings figure, hoping that she does not notice the difference in your declared earnings when compared to what you've paying into the joint account.

In my experience they've always asked for documentary evidence. 

[threechilliman]

Whilst getting some cashback today, the girl on the till said "treat yourself" as she handed over the cash. I looked her in the eye and replied with a smile "don't worry love, I intend to"

 

tcm

[JV547845]

I put my cash in container drums, bury them in the New Mexico desert and encode the GPS co-ordinates in a lottery ticket.

[Daffodil]

Can you not just keep it in your wallet? Surely your partner doesn't ever go into it? 
I am so surprised by the amount of men who have to delete messages and calls or have a secret phone or hide money as the missus might find it.  Why do any of you allow the missus to invade your personal space like this as I bet she wouldn't want you to do the same.  I have never looked in my partners wallet nor have I ever looked at his phone/laptop/mail etc.  I wouldn't dream of invading his space in that way the same as he wouldn't mine
If they are snooping like that then they already suspect something is going on and have no trust in you.
Always keep separate bank accounts for a start as if she does catch you out your bank will be empty within hours.  A separate account means you spend what you want when you want.  Have a joint one for bills and living expenses where you both put x amount in each month but keep one for yourself with your own money in it.

A classic post by Dani.

Hasn't got a clue what she's talking about, but takes a thousand words to tell us 

[cueball]

Whilst getting some cashback today, the girl on the till said "treat yourself" as she handed over the cash. I looked her in the eye and replied with a smile "don't worry love, I intend to"

 

tcm

Did you hand it back to her, wink and say owo + cim?

[threechilliman]

Did you hand it back to her, wink and say owo + cim?

No, but that was exactly what I was thinking. She was quite pretty.

tcm

[squeezebox]

A classic post by Dani.

Hasn't got a clue what she's talking about, but takes a thousand words to tell us 

Thought the answer was to use emoticons..speaks volumes... 

[Gordo987]

Open an instant access account with a building society.

[fettish008]

I'm lucky.im young free and single so my money is my own.no need to hide anything.i don't even have to worry about a punting phone so no probs.

[TheNewSeeker]

Every now and then there'll be an article in a womens' mag called "10 signs your hubby is playing away" or worse ". . . paying for sex". On the list will be "check his sock drawer for wadges of cash". In other wards, leave nothing to chance!

[Big Bad R]

I am fortunate that I deal with all finances, all Mrs BBR worries about is that she can spend what she likes when she likes ! She wouldn't know if we were 5k overdrawn or 1m in credit, it is of course the later as I am a self made millionaire 

[Big Bad R]

I put my cash in container drums, bury them in the New Mexico desert and encode the GPS co-ordinates in a lottery ticket.

You have now given away your true identity, Walt 

[threechilliman]

I am fortunate that I deal with all finances, all Mrs BBR worries about is that she can spend what she likes when she likes ! She wouldn't know if we were 5k overdrawn or 1m in credit, it is of course the later as I am a self made millionaire 

Pretty much the same for us, though I've still to make my first million!

tcm

[Boundless]

I put my cash in container drums, bury them in the New Mexico desert and encode the GPS co-ordinates in a lottery ticket.

That's exactly what I do, but I store the lottery ticket on an encrypted secure server - you can't be too careful.

[Gordo987]

Ever tried mugging a few pimps?

[jcdmj12]

But what you are missing are all the advantages of being married, which are.....

Perhaps better not tell you, would not want to make you all so envious! 

Reading this makes me think I have a very sweet deal with mine.  No idea why some of the blokes on here put up with what they do though.   

[essexboy1]

  Ive had a hidden desk comparment on my home office desk, try finding that

[Siadwel]

I'm lucky.im young free and single so my money is my own.no need to hide anything.i don't even have to worry about a punting phone so no probs.

I'm lucky, I'm old and single so my money etc.

I use a punting phone though, which has run out of credit yesterday 

[spkmstr48]

Can you not just keep it in your wallet? Surely your partner doesn't ever go into it? 
I am so surprised by the amount of men who have to delete messages and calls or have a secret phone or hide money as the missus might find it.  Why do any of you allow the missus to invade your personal space like this as I bet she wouldn't want you to do the same.  I have never looked in my partners wallet nor have I ever looked at his phone/laptop/mail etc.  I wouldn't dream of invading his space in that way the same as he wouldn't mine
If they are snooping like that then they already suspect something is going on and have no trust in you.
Always keep separate bank accounts for a start as if she does catch you out your bank will be empty within hours.  A separate account means you spend what you want when you want.  Have a joint one for bills and living expenses where you both put x amount in each month but keep one for yourself with your own money in it.

What's personal space again? I do remember something about from... Oh yes, before I got married.

Marriages can be ended, children, however, cannot. And the children are more expensive than the wife!

[spkmstr48]

laughed so hard at that

I'm single and i find punting very exciting but by reading this forum i actually realized how "exciting" it gets when you're married.

You guys are constantly on a fucking spy mission...secret phone, secret bank account, secret meetings.
The fact that people put up with this is either a proof marriage is amazing and worth putting up with all this or it is some sort of a trap.

Although i don't have to hide form anyone i do keep it anonymous. Got the punting phone and i have small spare wallet for punting cash which is hidden out of sight.
Having a spare bank account requires a very good excuse. Even if you opt for no physical mail you will eventually get something through the post.

Correct, marriage is a trap. I bought my current wife to avoid this, trouble is they go native in the end

[spkmstr48]

As a single man, this kind of thread is a real eye-opener.

The concept of ever having to justify £10 or £20 or my own spending to another person is just out of this world to me.

I guess you guys must have got married young and not be used to any other way of life. To me it is just unthinkable. If I ever contemplate getting married I shall revisit this thread

Might be a bit repetitive but, you think marriage cramps your style, just add the birth of your first child to finish your life off properly.